“You have multiple blood clots in both lungs.”

I think the rest of my life just changed….If I have a “rest of my life.”

It began last Tuesday evening. I was reading and relaxing on a chair at home. I felt a sudden tightness in my neck area; a building pressure that then began to spread down my chest and arms. It was not very painful and I was not breathless, but I realized something very odd was happening. I felt hot and a bit disoriented.

Thankfully my wife, Shona, was at home; her Ladies Bible Study had been cancelled due to Tornado alarms going off in our area. Although the symptoms only lasted about 10 minutes, Shona (a Family Physician in her Scottish days) felt it was unusual enough to merit further investigation. When we arrived at the local ER, I felt perfectly normal again. I then spent 10 minutes trying to persuade her that we should just go home rather than waste our time and money (I knew that I wouldn’t get out of ER without a $500 plus bill!).

Thankfully Shona prevailed and we went in, with my last words to her being, “I’m doing this for you, not me!” (Poor woman!). Although all the heart tests were normal, and the doctor felt 95% certain that all was fine, he said that it was best to get blood enzymes checked at the local hospital just to be 99% certain that there had been no heart attack. Again I dithered, but Shona decided, “Yes, we’re going.”

“Just a muscle strain”
At the hospital, the initial tests all seemed clear. In the course of the second examination, I happened to mention to the doctor, just as he was leaving my bedside, that I had had a pain in my calf since Sunday morning. But I quickly explained it away as “probably a muscle strain from practicing Tae Kwon Do without a warm-up.”

He paused, turned back towards me, and narrowed his eyes: “Have you traveled recently?”

I said that I had driven to Canada on Friday, preached a few times in Trinity Baptist Church near Toronto, and arrived back in Grand Rapids on Monday morning. The calf pain was with me when I woke on Sunday morning and throughout the day. Admittedly, I could hardly walk on my right leg when I arrived in Grand Rapids on Monday after driving non-stop from Ontario, but I had just assumed I’d torn a muscle.

The doctor said that he would screen my blood for clotting, just to rule out a deep vein thrombosis (DVT) in my leg. An hour later (just after midnight) the test came back with a very high positive. For the first time alarm bells began to ring in my mind. Thankfully, Joel Beeke and his wife Mary were with me at that point, Shona having returned home to check on the kids. Joel read briefly from Hebrews 4v14-16, and sent me off for a CAT scan leaning on the wonderful sympathy of our Great High Priest.

Life-changing (ending?) words
Thirty minutes later, I heard the life-changing (life-ending?) words. “I’m afraid you have multiple blood clots in both lungs (pulmonary embolii), probably having spun off from a clot (DVT) in your right calf.”

I had been walking around here and there over the past few hours. But now I was told to stay on the stretcher and be as still as possible lest more clots break off from my leg and block my lungs. I was given a large bolus of Heparin and an IV drip of the same, to stabilize the clots and start thinning my blood.

The next 36 hours were deeply solemnizing. All the blood clot anecdotes I’d heard over the years decided to flood my mind. My wife’s reaction to the news on the phone was confirmed by the doctor’s parting words, “You have a life-threatening condition.” Pulmonary embolism is the second most common cause of sudden death, and those who succumb usually do so in the first few hours after the event.

After committing my soul to Christ and taking a few soul-pacifying minutes to meditate on the sufficiency of His crucifixion, I typed out a quick note to my wife and children on my phone, just in case I didn’t make it.

And by God’s almighty grace, that’s where most of my anxieties were focused – my family. I did not want to die, but I was not afraid to die. Christ alone was more than enough. I experienced steady peace regarding my own salvation, and a sure hope of heaven, all and only through the death and resurrection of Christ. But, I confess, I felt tremendous anxiety about my own family and the sorrow that would transform their lives. (Having just buried my girls’ pregnant cat 24 hours earlier after an auto accident, their anguished weeping faces were still very fresh in my mind!).

Spiritual schizophrenia
This spiritual schizophrenia has often plagued me. How can I have such assured faith in Christ’s salvation, and yet doubt His providence? How can I rest my soul entirely upon Him, yet think I need to carry my family myself? At times, albeit briefly, I was able to leave my family in the Lord’s hands, but mostly I felt deep concern for them, and also personal sorrow at the prospect of not seeing them come to know the Lord, marry in the Lord, and serve the Lord. And how would my darling Shona ever get over this. Submitting to the Lord’s salvation was relatively easy; submitting to the Lord’s providence was an intense spiritual battle.

The next 24 hours were a sleepless blur of tests, tests, and more tests. Results fluctuated throughout the day, raising hopes, then disappointing and worrying me. My Pastor, Foppe Vanderzwaag, skilfully ministered Psalm 46 to me and my gathered family. The doctors and nurses were superb. The senior Pakistani doctor was the best communicator and sympathizer I’ve ever met. (He laughed when I suggested he could teach pastors a thing or two about bedside manner.) He saw my Bible and said that he was sure it was giving me strong peace at such times. We spoke a little and we parted with him asking me to pray for his upcoming Fellowship exams.

The drugs gradually began to thin my blood and after a second night in hospital I was allowed to return home. I’m receiving two shots of Lovenox every day as well as daily Warfarin (Coumadin) tablets. My blood is tested daily to check if my clotting levels are reaching the right levels. At the moment it is still too thick, but once the right level is reached, the shots will stop. I will probably be on Warfarin for the rest of my days as initial tests indicate a genetic clotting abnormality.

In the light of this, I have to cancel all unnecessary traveling for the rest of the year. I also have to seriously re-consider future international commitments. As I have to avoid unnecessary stress for a while to keep my blood pressure/heart rate down, I will be canceling speaking and preaching engagements for the month of May, and trying to focus my preaching in Grand Rapids thereafter. I’ll begin to work from home next week, and hopefully return to work at the Seminary the week after; all “if the Lord wills.”

The big lesson
There are lots of lessons for me in this and, if I’m given more strength, I hope to share some of them in the coming days. But let me just leave the biggest one with you. It’s this: the immeasurable goodness and amazing kindness of God to an undeserving sinner. Whatever emotions and thoughts I had these past few days, not once could I/dare I/did I say, “Why me?” I know very well, that every day of life is a mercy, that almost 20 years of marriage and ministry is a mercy, that having four children even for a short time are four great mercies, that to be saved by grace and know Christ is mega-mercy. God has never dealt with me according as I have sinned. If he had ended my earthly life this week, He still would not have dealt with me as I have sinned. His goodness and His mercy have followed me all my days.

And even in the course of these days, there were so many divine mercies:

  • He spared me from instant death when the leg clot spun off and spattered over my lungs.
  • He sent a Tornado alarm to keep my wife at home that evening.
  • He gave me sufficient symptoms for a sufficient time to sufficiently alarm me.
  • He sent a persistent wife to push a stubborn husband into ER.
  • He prompted me to mention to the doctor, as an aside, my leg pain.
  • He gave me a doctor who picked up that cue and ran with it.
  • He provided not just the technology to diagnose the problem, but the medications to treat it.
  • He used this brush with death to uncover the genetic pre-disposition to clotting and take preventative action for the future.

I’m not out of the woods yet, and still feeling very fragile, but in the light of all this, how can I, why do I, doubt for a moment God’s providential kindness and goodness!

Good to be afflicted?
In the few minutes of privacy that I had in the maelstrom of Tuesday night, I picked up a book my wife had left with me. It was Milk & Honey, the RHB daily devotional. As I wasn’t sure of the date, I turned to April 27 & 28 to find Pastor Jerrold Lewis’s meditations on:

Psalm 118:5 I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place.

Psalm 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

What more can I say, but “Amen.”

  • Greg Bailey

    Thanks for sharing this, Dr. Murray. I’ll be in prayer for you.

  • Alistair Bruce

    David, you are in my prayers today. I have very much enjoyed listening to your podcast with Tim. As a fellow Scot (Aberdonian) now living in the US it has been a real blessing to hear your passion for Christ. I pray that you will experience his deep care during these days.

  • Arleneveenstra

    Thank you for sharing your heart Dr. Murray!! You are in our prayers. Praying that you and your family will experience the peace of our Lord during this time and that you will manifest Him to all who are around you!! God bless!

  • Anneke Naves

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you Dr. Murray! Thank you for sharing this experience with us. What an amazing testimony to God’s goodness and mercy!

  • Gera

    God cares for us every day, but especially in such ways we see His care.Thanks for making Him great and share this with us.It’s so important that people know that His care and comfort are there always, even in afflictions, or maybe I have to say especially in afflictions,

  • Charles

    I am so thankful that God in His providence has spared your life. Although I have never met you personally, I have greatly benefited from your blog. May God continue to extend His grace to you as you make adjustments to your life and ministry.

  • Norma

    Dr. Murray – You are in our prayers! This was announced in our church (Cornerstone URC) yesterday a.m. and I’m sure there are many others praying for you as well. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart so honestly – and we will continue to pray that God will spare and heal you and return you to full health and strength soon!

  • shawn anderson

    We will be praying for you and your family David. It was also a mercy of God to be provided with biblical counselors instead of Job’s friends in the midst of your trial; nothing like a real trial to bring together saints to comfort and encourage each other with the Word of God. I have much experience in this area so feel free to ask any troubleshooting questions you might have. As a nurse I would be remiss if I did not remind you to reduce any green leafy vegetables from your diet (Vit K is the antidote to Coumadin).

  • Catherine Lewis

    Thankful to the Lord for His perfect providence in your life. I too have experienced a near death experience. The Lord has taught me much through it. Psalm 23 was in my mind at the time, ” Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me…” He was near me and what comfort I had…as hard as it was, I am thankful to the Lord for it. I was in the middle of reading, “The Mystery of Providence” by John Flavel, which became an incredible help even after. If you haven’t read it I encourage you to do so…If you have read it…read it again! Praying for you and your dear family. Hope to see you all in the summer, Lord willing.Catherine Lewis

  • Michael

    Thanks for sharing this, I will be praying for you.Michael Felkins

  • Pearson

    We are thankful for God’s protection for you and His Providence displayed in these events. We will pray for your health and your family.

  • Pearson

    We are thankful for God’s protection for you and His Providence displayed in these events. We will pray for your health and your family.

  • HomeontheCroft

    It will change you forever. We know it’s true that ‘here we have no continuing city’, but I think often it takes this kind of experience to *really* know it. To know it; to believe it; to live it.We are praying for you all, as you know; we are praising God that this was not your time. We are amazed at His providence – that the tornado that killed hundreds of others was used (humanly speaking ) to save your life.God is good. But God would still have been good had circumstances turned out very differently. I hope we’d still be able to say from our hearts: God is good. So, so thankful.

  • Mary VanDodewaard

    Dr. Murray – I have been praying for you and are thankful that the Lord has spared you and pray that He will continue to give you health and strength.. It struck me that you wrote of your concern for your family if the Lord would take you to Himself. My husband, Chris, experienced the same emotions. He was ready to go and be with his Savior but knowing that we would be grieving caused him grief.PS- I guess that sometimes it is good for a wife not to submit to her husband :)

  • Chris Donato

    Deeply moved by this testimony of God’s grace in sustaining you, both physically and spiritually. Thanks for sharing it, David.

  • Eric Hausler

    What a mercy!

  • Robert Turner

    Truly our God is merciful and gracious. Thank you for such encouraging words. There is peace in Christ that only His children can experience. Your testimony to the faithfulness of God is so encouraging. You are in my prayers. And I am glad to call you brother in Christ. Peace and Grace to you and your family.

  • se7en

    Oh what a frightening time for you, Praise the Lord for your wonderful wife… I am praying especially for strength for her and for your kids that they may have peace on the hearts after such a fright. Bless you for sharing… your faith is a lesson to us all.

  • Ricky A

    I’m a pastor all the way out in El Paso, TX and recently I’ve discovered your blog, your film company, and have been very helped by your materials. My prayer will be that God will allow you be even more fruitful in ministry during this next season of your life. Thank you for already setting us a great example of suffering well, with joy, and with faith in God. Thank you for serving the body of Christ.

  • Elizabeth Smith

    All of this hits very close to home for me. I experienced a DVT in my pelvis when I was 9 weeks pregnant with my son. It was a very scary time. Praise the LORD for Fragmin, a blood thinner that can be taken by pregnant moms that doesn’t affect the baby. Four years later, my son is healthy, I’m healthy and since then we’ve been blessed with another son, a pregnancy which God blessed and kept me blood clot free thanks again to Fragmin. I could have died and taken my son with me in the womb, but God, in his mercy, spared us both. I’m praying that he will see fit to spare you and give you more time on this earth to bring the gospel to those who need to hear it. I felt the same as you. Being with Christ did not scare me, but leaving my husband and my then 18 month old daughter alone did. You are right, though, they would never have been alone, would they. May God grant you health, comfort, patience and strength during this trying time.In Christ,Elizabeth Smith, Ottawa, Ontario

  • Jeanette otten

    Praising God with you and your family and praying for a complete recovery.

  • TulipGirl

    For your family, I’m so thankful that you are on the road to recovery!Continuing to pray for you and yours…

  • Adam Deakin

    Thank you for sharing this with us. You and your family will continue to be in our prayers. God has used this difficult time to be a great testimony to God’s Grace, Providence and the Sufficiency of His Crucifixton to give Peace. Thank you for using this time to demonstrate the love and mercy of God. Blessings to you and your family. The Lord Almighty is with us.

  • Adam Deakin

    Thank you for sharing this with us. You and your family will continue to be in our prayers. God has used this difficult time to be a great testimony to God’s Grace, Providence and the Sufficiency of His Crucifixton to give Peace. Thank you for using this time to demonstrate the love and mercy of God. Blessings to you and your family. The Lord Almighty is with us.

  • Van Kempen

    We are so thankful that God spared your life. You and your family are in our prayers. Praying that this trial might lead you to great peace and strength in Christ. Take care! Love Bill, Susanna, Matthew, Hannah and Joel Van Kempen

  • Brett C Schut

    You are in my prayers Dr. Murray.

  • Nathan W. Bingham

    Dr. Murray:Thank you for writing this reflection piece. Your example of faith in a time of suffering and crisis is encouraging and helpful.Praise God you’re recovering well. May He continue to use you for His glory!You and your family are in my prayers during this time.

  • Andrew Jonkman

    Thank you for writing this Dr. Murray. This is very helpful and encouraging for me as I go through my own trials with my health to continue to seek and put all our trust in the Lord. May God continue to give you renewed strength, and praying for your full recovery.

  • Lisa

    Dear Pastor Murray,I am a wife and mother of 2, age 34. In 2009 my world fell apart due to a blood clot in my abdomen and hospitalization for days leading to tests, CTs, MRI, which you too probably can relate…The search of “why”. Mine has never been found and since then I have undergone several procedures to clean the clots out, I get veins in my esophagus that need to be wrapped to prevent rupture, and like you am on blood thinners injected twice daily for 2 years now. You can imagine the double sided sword of blood thinners, you want them for the clots that have formed, but I don’t want them b/c this year I experienced my first bleed from one of the veins rupturing in my throat. In many ways it has been the WORST and BEST thing that has ever happened to me. I have been a christian all my life but now my faith has become ALIVE! I want to witness Gods amazing love and faithfulness even in times of trials. I am 3 weeks post my most recent vascular reconstruction surgery with artificial bypass to get around the clots in my belly…Last week I felt like I am sure Jesus did in the garden, on my knees sobing that the Lord would take this cup from me, THY will be done! I didn’t think I could keep going. But the Lord has been SOOOO amazing in so many ways. He is all that I need, I wasn’t ready to die, like you I didn’t want too. I still don’t. I am young, trying to raise a family, I am scared at times, yet we have the promises of our great Lord that He will be with us every step of the way! Keep your head high, and praise the Lord, you are here, just like me! I should have been dead years ago the Dr’s say, and they have no idea why I am here. I tell them its b/c I have a God that has a plan, even when I can’t see what it is! God bless you!!!

  • Paul and Carine

    How we thank God for His undeserved goodness and loving kindness towards you , your family and all of us! May He continue to strengthen and uphold you as He is clearly equipping you for further service in His kingdom. You remain in our prayers.

  • Nathan Eshelman

    Praying for you, Dr. Murray. Me and my family.

  • Chris MacRae

    God is good and God does goodEvery blessing to you and yours.

  • Shona

    I am very sad to read of your critical illness but I have been amazed at your workload. ” Come ye apart and rest awhile ” comes to mind.Thank you for your blogs , Connected Kingdom , sermons and books.Praying that you will soon be well enough to resume at least some of these.laboursAnother Exile

  • Shona

    I am very sad to read of your critical illness but I have been amazed at your workload. ” Come ye apart and rest awhile ” comes to mind.Thank you for your blogs , Connected Kingdom , sermons and books.Praying that you will soon be well enough to resume at least some of these.laboursAnother Exile

  • Phil Pockras

    Mr Murray, I know your spiritual agony. It was mine in hospital here in 1986, when I was ill with mononucleosis that had attacked my heart. I had both pericarditis and myocarditis. The same thing you mention happened to me — increasing assurance of the sufficiency of Christ, and mistrust of Providence in caring for my then-young and childless wife. Oh, how silly we are by times! I must now be trusting Him and His care for me, as I face the possibility of eventual blindness.Your enumeration of blessings was a blessing, itself, to me. Thank you for setting down your eventually sanctified thoughts on your medical emergency.

  • Cathy McCarthy

    I think “ambivalence” or “double-mindedness” would be better word choices than “Schizophrenia.” I am beginning to understand schizophrenia better as it is the affliction that threatens my own trust in providence and my joy.

  • Anne

    I’ve gone through the same thing (but I ignored the pain in the calf until I passed out from not being able to breathe) and am on Warfarin the rest of my life. I am extremely grateful that God enabled me to drive myself to the hospital that day and that I am blessed to live at a time and in a place with medical technology that can detect and treat this problem. I realized that I had come close to dying but I felt at peace, not scared. I was going to say “God is with me” but I think “God is” is really all that I need to say.

  • Richard Agnew

    David,I was the Ulster man you met recently at The Gospel Coalition in Chicago! Glad to hear things are in hand. Sad to hear that you won’t be travelling as much any more. I do hope you get back to Scotland at some point in the future though!Blessings on you, brother, and priase God for giving us what we don’t deserve in our wives! :o)Richard Agnew(PEI, Canada)

  • Jeri Tanner

    Thanking the Lord for his providence. Your course is not yet finished! Many blessings to you and your family, and thank you for this wonderful account. It was very moving and quite encouraging.

  • Lorna

    So thankful God in His providence planned to leave you with us. In reality, each day is a gift and life is short. I know that. People are precious and we must cherish each day we have with them. Praying for you and your family.

  • Miriam Garcia

    Rejoicing in the Lord’s providential protection! God is amazing! You and your loved ones are in our prayers! Thank you for sharing, Pastor Murray. ” Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me…” Psalm 23 <3>In His Care,Miriam GarciaHagerstown, Md

  • Margaret Waldecker

    Dr. Murray, we are praying for you!As Christians, we can always know that when we are imminently and unexpectedly facing what looks like “the end” of our earthly life, and we scream inwardly much like those of the world do, our Lord will not fail to provide peace, grace, comfort and the availing prayers of others in such astounding measure! He did that for you; I praise Him! A post-surgical hemorrhage some years ago allowed the Lord to demonstrate that to me. He instructs us that even when we don’t think we can trust our faith — we can always trust Him, for He is our life and the never-failing author and finisher of our faith. We need never fear!Blessings to you, Dr. Murray, and may He continue to give you healing.

  • Peter

    You are in the best (Christ´s) Hand´s … what can us divide from him? God bless you … i hope you will return to “Connected Kingdom” soon!!!

  • Sarah Van Hartingsveldt

    We are praying for you at Trinity Baptist Burlington! We were amazingly blessed by your messages Easter weekend, the Spirit really used you. We were all quite shocked to hear of your medical emergency soon after you left us. You continue to be prayed for up here in Canada.

  • Sam

    Dr. Murray,Hi! Thanks for sharing your story. I think I have the same genetic blood clotting abnormality that you do. My mother had a stroke because of it several years ago. Praise the Lord, she was spared from any loss of mobility or other effects from the stroke.It’s always amazing to me to see how God works in these types of situations. He really is the grand Conductor of our lives. I will pray for you and your family!Samantha

  • Stephen Payson

    Dr. Murray, Thank you for sharing your reflections on God’s providence in the light of this affliction. May the Lord continue to uphold you and yours in the days of your recovery. You will be in my prayers.Stephen Payson

  • mike wittmer

    As so many have already expressed, I am so thankful for God’s mercy on your life and will be praying for your full and swift recovery. I am also very glad that you listened to your wife–a good reminder for all of us! Now you have inspired me to go hug my children.

  • Cornelius VanKempen

    Dear Dr. MurrayGod’s ways are higher than our ways, but always according to His eternal plan! God truly is a merciful God and says I will have a people that shall praise me even at times when we cannot see past our trials. He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee, May He remember you and your family and fill you with His love. Sincerely in Christ:Case and Sue Van Kempen “Blessed are all those that wait for Him.”Isaiah 30:18. ‘Thou mayest seek after honours, and not obtain them; thou mayest labour for riches, and yet remain poor; Thou mayest dote on pleasures, and have many sorrows. But our God, of His supreme goodness, says—Who ever sought me, and found me not? Who ever desired me, and obtained me not? Who ever loved me, and missed of me? I am with him, that seeks for me. He hath me already, that wisheth for me; and he that loveth me, is sure of my love. The way to come to me, is neither long nor difficult.’ By AUGUSTINE.From exposition of Psalm 119, by Charles Bridges page 218This is not my own but was moved to put it with the meditations

  • JMac

    Praying for you Dr. Murray. You’ve been a great blessing to me, and I pray that God will heal you and keep you!Love you brother.

  • lornped2

    I love that quote.  How beautiful and true.    <tbody> <tr> <td> <tbody> <tr> <td> Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 2nd Cor. 1:1</td></tr></tbody></td></tr></tbody>  

  • Adam

    We love you Dr. Murray. We will be praying for you and your family during our service tonight.In Christ

  • Alex Humphrey

    Thank you, David for sharing this. I can’t imagine what you have been going through. I am praying for you earnestly now and will continue. You remind me of my need for God. You remind me that every moment is a gift from Him that could be ended at any moment. You remind me that He is good in all that He does. And you remind me that all I have will ultimately be His again.Praise God for these reminders. Praise His name for fears and tears. He has already moved so much through you, David. And I trust he will continue to do so.

  • David Murray

    Thank you so much for all your prayers and encouragements. In God’s good providence I am doing better this week. Apart from a complication that landed me in hospital again, I have been getting gradually stronger and my blood results are heading in the right direction. Still coming to terms with the necessary changes in my lifestyle and future ministry, but that too is in God’s good providence.

  • Cornelius VanKempen

     Just a couple of things that I ran across when reading. Thought you might enjoy them.  Case                                                                                                                                     CLOSING PRAYER FOR CHILDREN Jesus, help us to remember Some sweet lesson from Thy Word; Write upon my heart forever, Truths that I this day have heard. Every day be near to bless us, Bring us to our school again, Lord, be with us, guide and guard us, For our Saviour’s sake, Amen   “Blessed are all those that wait for Him.”<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /><o:p></o:p>  <o:p></o:p>  <o:p></o:p> Isaiah 30:18.  ‘Thou mayest seek after honours, and not obtain them; thou mayest labour for riches, and yet remain poor; Thou mayest dote on pleasures, and have many sorrows.  But our God, of His supreme goodness, says—Who ever sought me, and found me not?  Who ever desired me, and obtained me not?  Who ever loved me, and missed of me?  I am with him, that seeks for me.  He hath me already, that wisheth for me; and he that loveth me, is sure of my love.  The way to come to me, is neither long nor difficult.’   <o:p></o:p>  By    AUGUSTINE.<o:p></o:p>  <o:p></o:p> From exposition of Psalm 119, by Charles Bridges   page 218<o:p></o:p>  <o:p></o:p> From: Posterous <

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  • SweetArrah

    Myy BFF has had shortness of breath for a few days. He went to ER. They found nothing and sent him home. His breathing had gotten worst. So, he went back to the same ER and they did a CT scan.
    He calls me to tell me he has clots in both lungs…he feels he’s gonna die. Im so scared right now.
    Lord, if your listening? Please, please help my friend I love him so much.. He needs You Lord! Go by there Lord..

  • Ric Der

    So here I sit in the hospital at 2 in the morning, just diagnosed with multiple clots in both lungs and wondering if it’s my time to go home. I feel bad for my 6 year old daughter but am not frightened for myself. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience. God bless you

    • David Murray

      Thank you RIc. I am so sorry that you are passing through the same experience. If you’re interested in how the rest of my story turned out, you might want to read Reset: Living a Grace Paced Life in a Burnout Culture. I just want to assure you that after you heal and come through the next few weeks and months, there is much good that comes of these events in our lives.