Helping someone with post-partum depression
Sep 20, 2010 • By David Murray • 1 CommentI’ve been subscribing to the Postpartum Progress Blog for quite a while now. It is the most widely-read blog on postpartum depression & other mental illnesses related to childbirth. I’m not sure if I’m the only man on the list (!), but I’d definitely encourage other Christian men to join. Pastors would find it especially helpful in building a sympathetic understanding of oh-so-common postpartum depression and other associated childbirth complications flowing from Genesis 3:16a.
As far as I can tell, the writing is not usually from a Christian perspective. And sometimes the writing is unnecessarily “raw.” However, many of the articles offer lots of realistic, down-to-earth advice, which is particularly useful for us men who struggle to understand the emotional and mental sufferings some women have to endure.
For example, in this post Alexis Lesa give Four tips for supporting someone with postpartum depression. And here she writes on the benefits of postpartum depression. Obviously a Christian pastor would want to adjust and add to some of the material in these articles. However, they are a great starting point for understanding PPD and helping those suffering with it.Psalm 16: Confidence in life and death
Sep 20, 2010 • By David Murray • 0 CommentsLecture 3 from Poets and Prophets, my Old Testament exegesis course at PRTS. Download here.
Puritan Pod: When to-dos will be done
Sep 18, 2010 • By David Murray • 1 CommentThe Puritan Pod is back! Here’s the link to Dabbleboard.
Click-through here.
Pastoral Picks
Sep 16, 2010 • By David Murray • 0 CommentsTemptations of a Shepherd: Hiding from God
Darrin Patrick: “You can be a really good shepherd and a really bad Christian.”
Trevin Wax highlights some helpful questions for pastors to use fon challenging nominalism. I think they would also be helpful for encouraging assurance in doubting believers. They are taken from True Christianity, one of Owen Strachan and Doug Sweeney’s introductory books on Jonathan Edwards. Evaluating our ministries
Another helpful post on this from Brian Croft Advice for Theological Students and Young Pastors
And here’s some more from Kevin DeYoung.
How the mighty fall
Sep 16, 2010 • By David Murray • 2 CommentsBest-selling author Jim Collins has written a book with a change of direction. His previous best-seller was From Good to Great. His latest is How the Mighty Fall. In it Collins shares research which demonstrates that Stage 1 of organizational failure is “hubris born of success.” (See yesterday’s post on The Greatest Mistake a Leader can Make). Confidence is an attribute that every leader needs to embrace and to foster in others, he says. But when confidence goes too far, it can become hubris. Collins warns that overdosing on confidence is easy to do but difficult to detect. He therefore offers some warning signs (summarized by John Baldoni):
You make many decisions independently. No, dithering isn’t good. But bosses who make all of their own decisions without speaking to others are asking for trouble. How much do you ask for others’ input?
You can’t remember the last time you spoke to a customer. Failure to discover what people think about what you offer is not only foolhardy, it’s a recipe for failure in the future. If you think you’re “too busy” to connect with customers, that’s a warning sign.
You always have lunch with the same people. Socializing only with select peers cuts you off from people who might offer alternate views.
Your team always seems to agree with you. If no one has contradicted you in a while, you may have inadvertently created a no-bad-news culture. Surrounding yourself with people who can only do one thing — nod — is an invitation to disaster.
When something goes wrong, the first thing you ask is, “Who’s responsible?” This may be a sign that you overemphasize accountability at the expense of problem-solving — which your team may see this as finger-pointing.
Some of these are applicable to pastors, but I would also add the following pastor-specific warning signs:
You dismiss criticism as personal dislike. Well there can’t possibly be anything wrong with my preaching or pastoring, can there!You start shortening prayer time because you have so much ministry to do. In fact you can go long periods of time without a breath of prayer heavenwards.
You no longer need to read your Bible for yourself. I mean I know it so well now anyway.
You don’t listen to your members’ views on any text. After all, they don’t have Hebrew or Greek, do they.
You resent the twice-yearly meeting with the elders charged to oversee you. What impertinent questions they asked the last time about my internet use. And imagine counseling me to avoid visiting single females alone! What kind of man do they think I am?
You threaten to resign if you don’t get your way. They need me far more than I need them.
You stop visiting your flock. After all, that’s really for the deacons. Surely I’ve done my stint of hearing about Mrs Moaner’s hip replacement and about Mr Payne’s arthritis.
You stop evangelizing: That’s for the young people. Collins regards self-confidence as vital for business success. But his basic message is that “too much confidence is a toxic cocktail that can lead to a very long hangover.” That’s where pastoral ministry differs because self-confidence in a pastor, even to a small degree, can be disastrous. So what are the remedies? Well let’s start with the business culture’s solutions. John Baldoni offers these:
Start by asking people to talk back. Employees need to be able to tell their bosses what they really think. Bosses who make people uncomfortable about telling the truth are asking for trouble. They end up sandbagging reality.
Make time to walk the halls, talk to customers, and speak with vendors. Use your own “walk the beat” approach to finding out the truth.
Remember that once your stakeholders start talking more openly, it’s your job to listen.
Although some of these are a bit “business-speaky,” they can translate into church-speak. But I would also want to add:
Seek and welcome accountability. From your wife and from your fellow-elders. And when choosing accountability elders, don’t choose the ones most like yourself.Resist every temptation to regularly shorten personal Bible reading and prayer.
Visit, visit, visit. Pastoral visitation and involvement in the messiness of people’s lives keeps our feet (and our knees) on the ground.
Cross, cross, cross. I heard Don Carson deliver an exegetical lecture at a seminary about 20 years ago. I had just started Greek and could understand little of it. However, he said one thing I’ve never forgotten: “No man can think himself big or make himself big beside the cross.”
Cultivate and maintain a close and lively walk with Christ. Our ministries are not so much about communicating principles and precepts, as they are about communicating a person. And that person described himself as “meek and lowly in heart.” Whatever else our ministries communicate, let them communicate that. Because that is powerfully attractive and effective. And safe.
