Reformed “Spotlight”: Self-Promoting Wolves or Selfless Shepherds?

After writing the initial posts in my spiritual abuse series, I started thinking more about the leaders who have made the greatest impression upon me throughout my life. I thought about soccer managers, teachers, managers, investment brokers, business owners, and bosses from my pre-Christian life. In the Christian world, I thought about pastors, elders, deacons, professors, para-church leaders, and so on. And I came up with four characteristics that were universal.

Vision

The best leaders were not interested in managing decline, care and maintenance, or just reacting to the latest emergency. Instead, they wanted to lead people or an organization to the next stage of growth or development. They looked much further ahead than today or even the immediate future. They might not have formalized 1-year, 5-year, and 10-year plans, but they definitely had long-term plans which involved much more than just handing on what they had been given unchanged. They may not have been ten-talent servants, but they definitely were not “bury-the-talent” status quo servants. They might not have plans to take everyone and everything to the next level but they were always working on advancing some part of the team, company, church, organization, etc. If you asked them, “Where are we going?” they wouldn’t reply, “Eh, I dunno.” Rather,”Here’s where we’re going, and here’s how we’re going to get there.”

Energy

As I look back on forty years of being parts of various teams – sports, politics, churches, businesses, etc. – the leaders that stand out most and that did most good are the ones that seemed to have an extra Duracell or two in their powerpacks. Even now, as I think back on them, the Energizer bunny pops into my mind. It’s almost impossible to follow someone that is lazy and lethargic. Enthusiasm, on the other hand, is contagious. A person bursting with it can impact tens, even hundreds of people. That’s true on a natural level; but it’s also true on a spiritual level. It’s a hyper-Calvinist cop-out to say, “Oh, well, unless the Holy Spirit comes in power, there’s no point in trying too hard.” The Holy Spirit uses means, and, in my experience at least, He usually uses leaders – pastors, elders, deacons, teachers – who are characterized by vitality, zip, and zest.

Ethics

No amount of vision or vigor can make up for vice. Talent and tempo cannot replace truth. Innovation and inspiration cannot overcome immorality. Double doses of dreams and Duracell cannot compensate for double standards. The leaders who have inspired me have always been characterized by integrity, just plain old-fashioned honesty and transparency. What you saw was what you got.

Selflessness

When I remember my two unbelieving soccer coaches, three of my four unbelieving bosses in the financial services industry, and my two favorite teachers (also both unbelievers), one quality stands out above all – they put the interests of those they coached, led, and taught ahead of themselves. I think I could even say they loved us. They sacrificed themselves for our good, often with no apparent benefit to themselves. There were selfless rather than selfish, leaving an indelible mark on me to this day.

How much more important is selflessness in ministry? It’s the most important characteristic of all in Christian leadership, and the lack of it lies at the root of most ministry fails and falls. It’s an utter shameful scandal when the one calling that is defined by “service” in the very name – MINISTRY – becomes a means of self-promotion and personal aggrandizement at the painful expense of those they are sent to serve.

In Matthew 7:15, Jesus warns us of wolves who wear sheep’s clothing. They may look like shepherds and sound like shepherds – note that, they NEVER look like wolves – but they have the hearts of wolves.

In John 10, Jesus warns of those who though they pretend to shepherd sheep, they are only interested in their fleeces. They are thieves and robbers that have come only to steal, to kill, and to destroy. Instead of giving their lives for the sheep, they take life from the sheep. They stand on their backs in their desperate climb for prominence. If any suffer along the way, there are always others to take their place. If I can get the attention of thousands, what does it matter if I’ve destroyed a few lives on the way to the pinnacle? Cheering crowds easily drown out a handful of bloodied, broken, bleating sheep – and my conscience. Why worry about one abused sheep when there are ninety-nine applauding me?

What a contrast to the Great Selfless Shepherd of John 10, the Great Selfless Servant of John 13, and the Great Selfless Sufferer of Philippians 2!

The measure of anyone’s ministry is not how many people are in their church, how many blog readers or Twitter followers they have, how many books they’ve written, how many conference invitations they receive, or how many famous friends flatter us. The biblical measure of ministry is how they treat “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40). How does a man treat the least important, least influential, least rewarding members of his congregation. That’s how Christ measures my ministry. That’s how my elders should measure my ministry. That’s how I want to measure my ministry.


Check Out

Blogs

Would You Like to Take a New Testament Course With Me? | Tim Challies
“A little while ago I approached Logos to ask if they would be willing to open up a course in their Mobile Ed platform. They said they’d be glad to do so, and after weighing the various options, I selected one that I thought would be interesting, helpful, and appropriately challenging to any Christian. It usually costs $229.99, but they are giving us access for free!”

New poll finds fewer people keep the Sabbath than in the ’70s, but many people still value it | Kelsey Dallas, Deseret News National
“Half of U.S. adults today (50 percent) say the Sabbath has personal spiritual meaning for them, down from 74 percent in 1978. However, 62 percent of people agree that it’s important for society to have one day a week set aside for spiritual rest, the survey reported – and only 11 percent disagree with that proposition.”

Mizzou Firings — Chronicle of a Campus Crisis | Jillian Kay Melchior, National Review
“…freshman enrollment is down 25 percent, leaving a $32 million funding gap and forcing the closure of four dorms. The month after the protests, donations to the athletic department were a mere $191,000 – down 72 percent over the same period a year earlier. Overall fundraising also took a big hit.”

“Great Disputes”: The Conditionality of the Covenant of Grace | Donald John Maclean, Meet the Puritans
“The conditionality of the covenant of grace is indeed an area of ‘great dispute.’ Pitfalls abound on every side. But Sedgwick is a faithful guide. His careful exploration of the conditionality of the covenant of grace is a fruitful model to follow, both in his precise definitions, and in his theological conclusions.”

The Bible says to Writers . . . | Mary Jackquelyn Moerbe, Meet, Write, and Salutary
“Writers can only write as the Lord allows them. If God did not open our lips, gift us mouths and our other means of expression, we would be mute, anguished, tormented. Yet God gives us more than mere physical means. He gives us content, depth, insight, reflection.”

Governed by Bad News or Good News? | Prince on Preaching
“These and many others tragic realities should drive us to our knees in prayer. But we must resist the temptation to be governed by the bad news around us.”

10 Rules of Professional Etiquette for the Digital Workplace | Aaron Orendorff, Lifehacker
“Here are 10 professional rules for the digital workplace everyone should remember. Keep in mind though, the point of this list is to apply it to yourself. Nobody likes an etiquette cop, online or off.”

Confronting the Public Health Crisis of Pornography | Paul S. Loverde, First Things
“It is about time that we as a nation finally admit to ourselves that pornography is not some benign ‘entertainment’ that affects only those who use or produce it.”

Kindle Deals

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.


The Fall of Japan by William Craig ($2.99)


The Lord’s Supper (New American Commentary Studies in Bible & Theology) by Thomas R. Schreiner and Matthew R. Crawford ($0.99)


Six Simple Steps: Find Contentment and Joy as a Ministry Wife by Diana Davis ($2.99)


A History of Christianity: An Introductory Survey by Joseph Early ($2.99)

Video

How Businesspeople Can Reach the World | John Rinehart, Desiring God


Check Out

Blogs

Thoughts On The Rise And Fall Of Pastors | Scott Sauls
“In the past year, five of my friends who are pastors have lost their ministries because of moral failure.”

What Does It Mean for an Overseer to Be “Above Reproach” and “Well Thought of By Outsiders”? | Kevin DeYoung, TGC
“In short, the idea behind ‘above reproach’ and ‘well thought of’ is largely the same: the elder-pastor-overseer must live a life of Christlike character and virtue that is not easily refuted by those who know him best. The closer you look, the better the mature Christian appears.”

9 Research-Backed Ways to Spark Your Creativity | Michael Hyatt
“Creativity is essential to leadership and business. But we don’t always feel very creative. And I know some people doubt they’re creative at all. The good news is that all of us can easily become more creative. How?”

3 Ways College Students Can Do More Better Through Finals Week and Into the Summer | Tim Challies
“With a little effort, we can remove some of your heart’s vexation and some of your body’s pain so you actually can rejoice in your youth. You’ll give God greater glory, and you’ll do more good for others. Here are a few tips.”

What Cancer Cannot Kill | Rick Alcantar, The Blazing Center
“I’d just written a fourth name down from my small church. One of the names was a dad with two kids, another name was a young mom that had recently had another child. My heart hurt for each name on the list, for each family standing behind each name. Around that time an unexpected and uninvited thought began surfacing at different points throughout my day: “What if I get cancer?”"

My Toddler Survived Brain Cancer—Here’s What I Learned | Ellie Poole Ewoldt, ChristianityToday.com
“As Christians living in community, how do we come alongside friends and loved ones with cancer? To answer that question, I want to share some advice and insight from our journey to help explain what it’s like for families going through it-and how the people around them can lend their support.”

Dissertations that are Needed Today | Ed Stetzer, The Exchange
“Today I want to suggest there are certain religious Ph.D. degrees that will benefit the church, denominations, and students.”

Kindle Deals

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.


A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God’s Sovereignty by Joni Eareckson Tada ($1.99)


War of the World Views by Ken Ham, David Menton, Bodie Hodge, Carl Kerby ($2.99)


Picture Perfect: When Life Doesn’t Line Up by Amy Baker ($1.99)


Seeing Christ in All of Scripture: Hermeneutics at Westminster Theological Seminary by Iain Duguid, Richard B. Gaffin, Gregory K. Beale, Vern Poythress, Peter Lillback ($2.99)

Video

Challenges of Teaching the Bible to Other Women | TGC


New Library Books in the PRTS Library

One of the privileges of working at PRTS is the weekly arrival of new books to supplement our library of 70,000+ books. Here are some of the new selections this week.

April 26

Note: Inclusion in the library does not necessarily mean endorsement of contents. We often have to buy books to help students with specialist theses and also to train students to think critically. Also, a book new to the library does not necessarily mean a new book on the market.

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.



Insular Christianity: Alternative Models of the Church in Britain and Ireland, c.1570-c.1700 (Politics, Culture and Society in Early Modern Britain) edited by Robert Armstrong and Tadhg O’Hannrachain

“This collection of essays on the alternative establishments which both Presbyterians and Catholics attempted to create in Britain and Ireland offers a dynamic new perspective on the evolution of post-reformation religious communities. Deriving from the Insular Christianity project in Dublin, the book combines essays by some of the leading scholars in the field with work by brilliant and upcoming researchers.”



Kierkegaard: A Christian Missionary to Christians by Mark A. Tietjen

“Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) had a mission. The church had become weak, flabby and inconsequential. Being a Christian was more a cultural heritage than a spiritual reality. His mission―reintroduce the Christian faith to Christians. How could he break through to people who were members of the church and thought they were Christians already? Like an Old Testament prophet, Kierkegaard used a variety of pointed and dramatic ways to shake people from their slumber. He incisively diagnosed the spiritual ailments of his age and offered a fresh take on classic Christian teaching.”



Imagining the Kingdom: How Worship Works by James K. A. Smith

“In the second of a three-volume theology of culture, a leading Reformed philosopher shows how worship works in shaping us through liturgical practices.”



Anglican Enlightenment: Orientalism, Religion and Politics in England and its Empire, 1648-1715 (Cambridge Studies in Early Modern British History) by William J. Bulman

“This is an original interpretation of the early European Enlightenment and the religious conflicts that rocked England and its empire under the later Stuarts. In a series of vignettes that move between Europe and North Africa, William J. Bulman shows that this period witnessed not a struggle for and against new ideas and greater freedoms, but a battle between several novel schemes for civil peace.”



John Owen and English Puritanism: Experiences of Defeat by Crawford Gribben

“Crawford Gribben’s biography documents Owen’s importance as a controversial and adaptable theologian deeply involved with his social, political and religious environments. Fiercely intellectual, and extraordinarily learned, Owen wrote millions of words in works of theology and exegesis. Far from personifying the Reformed tradition, however, Owen helped to undermine it, offering an individualist account of Christian faith that downplayed the significance of the church and means of grace. In doing so, Owen’s work contributed to the formation of the new religious movement known as evangelicalism, where his influence still can be seen today.”



Islamic Fascism by Hamed Abdel-Samad

“This polemic against Islamic extremism highlights the striking parallels between contemporary Islamism and the 20th-century fascism embodied by Hitler and Mussolini. Like those infamous ideologies, Islamism today touts imperialist dreams of world domination, belief in its inherent superiority, contempt for the rest of humanity, and often a murderous agenda. The author, born and raised in Egypt and now living in Germany, not only explains the historical connections between early 20th-century fascist movements in Europe and extremist factions in Islam, but he also traces the fascist tendencies in mainstream Islam that have existed throughout its history.”



Gaining By Losing: Why the Future Belongs to Churches that Send by J.D. Greear

“In Gaining By Losing, J.D. Greear unpacks ten plumb lines that you can use to reorient your church’s priorities around God’s mission to reach a lost world. The good news is that you don’t need to choose between gathering or sending. Effective churches can, and must, do both.”



Common Grace: God’s Gifts for a Fallen World, Volume 1 by Abraham Kuyper

“In Common Grace Abraham Kuyper presents a constructive public theology of cultural engagement rooted in the humanity Christians share with the rest of the world. He addresses a gap in the development of Reformed teaching on divine grace, and he articulates a Reformed understanding of God’s gifts that are common to all people after the fall into sin. This first volume contains Kuyper’s demonstration of common grace in its origin and operation.”



Jesus and the Land: The New Testament Challenge to “Holy Land” Theology by Gary M. Burge

“This accessible volume describes first-century Jewish and Christian beliefs about the land of Israel and offers a full survey of New Testament passages that directly address the question of land and faith. Respected New Testament scholar Gary M. Burge examines present-day tensions surrounding ‘territorial religion’ in the modern Middle East, helping contemporary Christians develop a Christian theology of the land and assess Bible-based claims in discussions of the Israeli-Palestinian struggle.”



Reading the Word of God in the Presence of God: A Handbook for Biblical Interpretation by Vern S. Poythress

“Moving quickly from principle to practice, Vern Poythress helps us rethink how we interpret the Bible by showing us the implications of entering into God’s presence as we study. This handbook outlines distinct steps for practicing faithful biblical interpretation by focusing on our fellowship with the God who speaks to us through his Word.”


Check Out

Blogs

The smug style in American liberalism | Emmet Rensin, Vox
“There is a smug style in American liberalism. It has been growing these past decades. It is a way of conducting politics, predicated on the belief that American life is not divided by moral difference or policy divergence – not really – but by the failure of half the country to know what’s good for them.”

7 Questions About Transgender People, Answered | The Federalist
“What social science research we have on transgender people and gender dysphoria is limited, but it does not support the agenda of trans activists.”

Themelios 41.1 | Brian Tabb, TGC
“The Gospel Coalition just released the April 2016 issue of Themelios, which has 208 pages of editorials, articles, and book reviews. It is freely available in three formats: (1) PDF, (2) web version, and (3) Logos Bible Software. A print edition will be available for purchase in several weeks from Wipf and Stock.”

Should Christians Cremate Their Loved Ones? | John Piper, Desiring God
“My proposal in this article is that Christian churches be willing to help families financially with simple Christ-exalting funerals and burials, so that no Christian is drawn to cremation because it’s cheaper.”

My Answer to the Question ‘What Does Autism Feel Like?’ | Lori Sealy, The Mighty
“My hope is that this will help you understand a bit more about life with autism, and that as your understanding increases so will your heart for those who are hurting — no matter how they hurt.”

5 Writing Rules to Energize Your Prose | Justin Taylor, TGC

6 Free Resources for Teaching Gospel-Centered Counseling & Gospel Conversations | Bob Kelleman, RPM Ministries

New Book


Your Days Are Numbered: A Closer Look at How We Spend Our Time & the Eternity Before Us by John Perritt.

Kindle Deals

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.


Preaching the Old Testament edited by Scott M. Gibson ($1.99)


Show Them Jesus: Teaching the Gospel to Kids by Jack Klumpenhower ($1.99)


I Am Second: Real Stories. Changing Lives. by Dave Sterrett and Doug Bender ($0.99)


Where the Buck Stops: The Personal and Private Writings of Harry S. Truman edited by Margaret Truman ($2.99)

Video

What You Should Know About Suicide in America | TGC


The Depressed Homemaker’s Greatest Need

Recently I was speaking at a conference on Sadness and Happiness in the Christian Life. As always happens at any conference where I speak about depression, I heard some heart-rending stories of suffering. Although these stories differ in many ways, I began to notice a common factor in the stories these Christian women were telling me, especially women who were home-makers. They were all lacking in verbal affirmation and encouragement from their husbands.

Their husbands were godly Christian men, faithful, hard-working, providing financially, helping out with the kids, taking on domestic and spiritual responsibilities, and so on. They were not abusive and had never said a hard word to their wives. But, they very rarely, if ever, said anything positive or affirming to them.

One Source of Affirmation
I talked with Shona about this and she said, “This is so important. Homemakers have only one source of affirmation – their husbands. Most young kids don’t usually notice what we do and praise us. There are no colleagues or customers to express appreciation and admiration. Our husbands are our only source of encouragement and commendation.”

As I thought more about it, and felt more and more guilty about it myself, I realized just how many possible sources of encouragement most men and women have who work outside the home. For example, I have my congregation, my students, blog readers, counselees, conferees, etc. Hardly a week goes by without someone expressing gratitude for something I’ve done in my ministry. But a homemaker has only one possible source of gratitude – her husband.

Magic Homemaking
And yet how many times have I come home and, lo and behold, there’s a meal on the table. Well, so there should be. Shirts magically enter the wash basket and just appear in the wardrobe. Rugs vaccum themselves, trash cans empty themselves, dishes wash themselves, bills pay themselves, accounts get accounted, babies change their own diapers, and so on.

What, they don’t?

Of course not, and yet how often we husbands just take it all for granted. How would we feel if that happened to us at work – every single day? We work, work, work, and the response is silence, silence, silence. It would be pretty depressing wouldn’t it?

Or, when was the last time we expressed appreciation for how our wives looked, even after a day of being run ragged by children? When was the last time we noticed with gratitude the development of Christian graces and character in them?

We are their only source of affirmation.

Theological Affirmation
“But,” someone will say, “Surely they should get their encouragement from the Lord? Why can’t they just rejoice in their salvation? Do they not know that they are accepted in Christ, no matter what?”

Yes, we want to bring them theological truth. Yes we want to point them to Christ and their justification. Yes, ultimately God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

But they’re also human. They need words of affirmation and appreciation from us too. That’s not human weakness; that’s basic humanity. We expect it in the workplace; our wives are right to expect it at home.

I’m not saying this is the panacea for all female depression; but I do wonder how many home-makers might have avoided depression if their husbands had been more affirming and encouraging? How many wives might be praising God if their husbands had praised them a bit more? How many mothers might yet avoid the pit of depression if their husbands could lift them up with even one compliment a day?

So here’s the challenge, men, regardless of whether your wife is depressed or not; and especially if she is: make a huge daily effort to find as many reasons as you can to praise her. Take nothing for granted. Take nothing for nothing, but affirm, compliment, praise, and encourage her in every possible way. It might work better than Prozac.