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Tag Archive - Counseling

The Puritans on Medication for Mental Illness

May 9, 2013 • By David Murray • 6 Comments

The Puritans not only accepted the existence of medical causes for depression and other mental disorders, but they also proposed various medical remedies. Admittedly, some of their “treatments” were extremely primitive, but they clearly understood that there was some physical or medical elelement to some depressions.

After listing various spiritual and social remedies (we’ll consider some of these tomorrow), Richard Baxter says “If other means will not do, neglect not medicine.”  Just as in our own day, there was sometimes significant resistance to medication. Baxter’s solution? Force it down their throats!!

Though they will be averse to it, as believing that the disease is only in the mind, they must be persuaded or forced to it. I have known the lady deep in melancholy, who a long time would neither speak, nor take physic, nor endure her husband to go out of the room, and with the restraint and grief he died, and she was cured by physic put down her throat with a pipe by force.

While we would probably end up in prison if we tried such methods, Baxter’s basic insights on the role of medication and doctors are sound and have abiding value:

1. Choose a physician who is specially skilled in this disease, and has cured many others. He advises against consulting young men and busy men who don’t have time to sit down and carefully listen to the depressed person’s story. Interestingly, Baxter didn’t have any hang-ups about calling this a disease and grouping it with other physical illnesses: “The thinking faculty is diseased and become like an inflamed eye, or a foot that is sprained or out of joint, disabled for its proper work.”

2. Medicinal remedies and theological are not usually to be given together by the same hand. He does allow for exceptions to this, but as a general rule he says that if you have access to “an ancient, skillful, experienced, honest, careful, circumspect physician, neglect not to use him.”

3. The root of depression is in the blood and is often accompanied by other physical problems. Baxter believed that the blood carried the human spirit, and that if the blood was diseased, so was the human spirit, and other organs that the blood served. Although we might laugh at Baxter’s archaic understanding of the human body, his instincts were right, in seeing physical causes and consequences of this “mental” disease [and maybe he's not so far off the truth after all: A blood test for mental illness]

4. Sometimes depression is caused by sudden shock. Baxter had seen otherwise sound-minds “suddenly cast into melancholy by a fright, or by the death of a friend, or by some great loss or cross, or some sad tidings, even in an hour.” Baxter said that this proved that the cause was not always found in the body, but his understanding of the mind/soul/body connections helped him to see that even the shocking impact of such news or events on the mind impacted the body too.

But the very act of the mind doth suddenly disorder the passions, and perturb the spirits; and the disturbed spirits, in time, vitiate the blood which containeth them; and the vitiated blood doth, in time, vitiate the viscera and parts which it passeth through; and so the disease beginning in the senses and soul, doth draw first the spirits, and then the humours [bodily fluids], and then the parts, into the fellowship, and soul and body are sick together.

5. The physician and pastor need great skill to know where the depression started. He must find out if it began “in the mind or in the body; and if in the body, whether in the blood, or in the viscera, for the cure must be fitted accordingly.”

6. Even if the depression have a psychological cause, medication can still have a role in curing it.

Though the disease begin in the mind and spirits, and the body be yet sound, yet physic [medication], even purging, often cureth it, though the patient say that drugs cannot cure souls, for the soul and body are wonderfully co-partners in their diseases and cure; and if we know not how it doth it, yet when experience telleth us that it doth it, we have reason to use such means.

7. Even if the depression was caused by demonic influence, medication may help to drive the devil out.

It is possible physic might cast him [the devil] out, for if you cure the melancholy, his bed is taken away, and the advantage gone by which he worketh. Cure the choler, and the choleric operations of the devil cease. It is by means and humours in us that he works.

Editorial N.B.
One modern editor of Baxter’s writing says of this section: “Of course Baxter was as unaware of modern biochemisty and physiology as he is of modern pharmacology. Nevertheless his insights are still valuable today…It may be appropriate to summarize this section of Baxter’s work as follows: those with depression of a spiritual nature, require spiritual counsel. Those whose depression is a result of somatic illness need medical care to correct that cause. People who suffer from endogenous depression may require both spiritual and medical treatment, depending on their case. Baxter’s advice about physicians is pertinent at this point.”

Other posts in this series:

7 Questions about suicide and Christians
Mental illness and suicide: the Church awakes
Pastoral thoughts on depression
The problem with “mental illness”
Double Dangers: Maximizing and Minimizing Mental Illness
A Medical Test for Mental Illness
The Puritans and Mental Illness

The Puritans and Mental Illness

May 8, 2013 • By David Murray • 8 Comments

“Depression is simply a modern idea dreamt up by God-defying psychiatrists, soul-denying psychologists, money-making drug companies, and blame-shifting sinners.”

Thought it?

You’ve almost certainly heard it.

However, depression has been around for much longer than you might think, and it has been accepted as genuine and treated seriously by some of the greatest Christian experts in soul care that God has ever given to His church – the Puritans. Yes, way back then, in days of spiritual revival and reformation, these spiritual giants and geniuses had deep insights into depression’s causes and cures that we would do well to learn from.

Richard Baxter, for example, wrote The Cure for Melancholy and Overmuch Sorrow, By Faith.

“Ah-ha! See. By faith. They saw it as a spiritual problem with a spiritual cure! So much for the Puritans backing up your modern theories.”

Read on, my friend. For sure, most of Baxter’s book is taken up with describing and curing spiritual depression. However, he does this only after carefully distinguishing spiritual depression (which is cured by faith) from physical depression (which is cured “by physic,” or as we would say, “by medicine”). In fact he has a whole section on “Medical care for those with depression” which we’ll get to tomorrow.

Causes and cures
Baxter asks, “What are the causes and cure of melancholy?” and answers:

“With many people most of the cause is in distemper, weakness, and disease of the body, and by it the soul is greatly disabled to any comfortable sense. But the more it comes from such natural necessity, it is the less sinful, and less dangerous to the soul, but still just as troublesome.”

He then goes on to identify “three diseases that cause too much sorrow.”

  • Those that consist in such violent pain as natural strength is unable to bear.
  • A natural passion, and weakness of that reason that should quiet passion (often seen in the elderly or debilitated).
  • When the brain and imagination are impaired, and reason partly overthrown by the disease called melancholy, or depression.

Baxter then goes on to list the signs and symptoms of this third category of disease.

Symptoms of clinical/medical depression
1. The trouble and disquiet of the mind becomes a settled habit. They can see nothing but matter of fear and trouble. All that they hear or do feeds it…In a word, fears, and troubles, and almost despair, are the constant temper of their minds.

2. If you convince them that they have some evidences of Christian sincerity, and that their fears are causeless, they may not disagree, and yet it does not take the trouble away, for the cause remains in their bodily disease.

3. Their misery is so much that they cannot but think of it. You may almost as well persuade a man not to shake in an fever, or not to feel when he is pained, as persuade them to cast away their self-troubling thoughts, or not to think all the enormous, confounding thoughts as they do, they cannot get them out of their heads night or day.

4. And when they are grown to this, they often seem to feel a voice within saying this or that to them, and they will not believe how much of it is a diseased imagination.

5. In this case they often think they have had revelations from God, often confusing Scripture or falsely applying it, and sometimes taking up errors in religion.

6. But the sadder, better sort, feeling this talk and stir within them, are sometimes apt to be confident that they are possessed by the devil

7. Most of them are violently haunted with blasphemous suggestions of ideas about God or Scripture, at which they tremble, and yet cannot keep them out of their mind.

8. When it is far gone, they are tempted to lay some law upon themselves never to speak more, or not to eat, and some of them starved themselves to death.

9. And when it is far gone, they often think that they have apparitions or some spirit touched or hurt them.

10. They avoid company, and can do nothing but sit alone and muse.

11. They cast off all business, and will not be brought to any diligent labour in their callings.

12. And when it comes to extremity, they are weary of their lives, sometimes become strongly tempted to take their own lives, which, alas, too many have done.

13. And if they escape this, when it is ripe, they become quite distracted.

Medical cures?
Tomorrow we will look at the cures Baxter suggests for this kind of melancholy, but note that at least part of it is medical. He says: “Choose a physician who is specially skilled in this disease, and has cured many others.” He advises against consulting “young, unexperienced men” and “hasty, busy, over-worked men, who cannot have time to study the patient’s temper and disease, but choose experienced, cautious men.”

UPDATE: Here’s The Puritans on Medication for Mental Illness

This post is is a contribution to A conversation about faith and mental illness. If you click through, you’ll find links to a number of great posts by Adrian Warnock on this subject.

Other posts in this series:

7 Questions about suicide and Christians
Mental illness and suicide: the Church awakes
Pastoral thoughts on depression
The problem with “mental illness”
Double Dangers: Maximizing and Minimizing Mental Illness
A Medical Test for Mental Illness

Top 60 Online Resources for Battling Porn

May 6, 2013 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

Previous posts in this series:  Top 200 Online Preaching ResourcesTop 200 Online Leadership Resources, and Top 300 Online Counseling Resources. Now, here’s the Top 60 Online Resources for battling Porn.

Usual disclaimer: Link does not imply full agreement or endorsement.

Raising a Pure Son In a Sex-Crazed World — We are THAT Family

The Bible and the Brain: Scripture strengthens neurological pathways

F.L.E.E.—A Strategy for Pursuing Sexual Purity – The Gospel Coalition Blog

A Warped Worldview: Another Moral Effect of Pornography | Al Mohler

Raising Kids in a Pornified Culture | Take Your Vitamin Z

How do you counsel a wife who has been harmed by her husband’s struggle with pornography? | Practical Shepherding

The Science of Porn Addiction | Take your Vitamin Z

How do you counsel a husband who has revealed a struggle with pornography to his wife? | Practical Shepherding

“What Do I Do If My Child Is Looking at Pornography?” | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

Porn and the contemplative life | Joel Miller

Book Reviews: Sexual Sanity For Men | The Gospel Coalition

Why is Porn Addictive? | Covenant Eyes

I Get By With A Little Help From My Readers…-Housewife Theologian

Porn-Free Church: Sex, God, and the Gospel – The Gospel Coalition Blog

How to Confess the Sin of Pornography to Your Wife (And How Not To), Part 1 | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

The Urban Gospel Mission – THE PORN GATEWAYS

Sex in the Media – The Price Our Kids Pay | Covenant Eyes

Pornopoly – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Counseling Single Men (and Men in General) Toward Lasting Freedom from Pornography | Covenant Eyes

Is bad sex killing the great commission? Between The Times

The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage, Part One | Al Mohler

Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games – Desiring God

D.A. Carson on Overcoming Porn Temptation | Take your Vitamin Z

Overcoming Sexual Sin (Video 1 of 9) | Brad Hambrick

Porn-Free Church | Free E-book for Pastors | Covenant Eyes

Raquel Welch Says Pornography “Annihilates” Men | Denny Burk

Take Your Vitamin Z: Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need To Know

Free E-book: Your Brain On Porn | Covenant Eyes | Covenant Eyes

Escaping pornography | The Briefing

Backward Porn Addiction: when women draw attention to themselves | Rick Thomas

When Does Viewing Porn Disqualify a Church Leader for Ministry? | Covenant Eyes

Closing the Window | Challies Dot Com

Confessing Lust to Your Wife: How Detailed Should You Be? | Covenant Eyes

ANTHEM: Strategies for Fighting Lust – Desiring God

Piper, Keller & Carson on How the Gospel Helps Us Overcome Pornography – From Age to Age

Spiritual Healing in the Midst of a Husband’s Addiction to Pornography | Challies Dot Com

For Pastors Who Struggle with Pornography | Covenant Eyes

This Is Your Brain on Porn – Justin Taylor

Pornography and Gypsy Moths – Pure Church by Thabiti Anyabwile

The Weight of smut | First Things

Counting the costs | Warren Cole Smith

Girls Snared by Porn and Cybersex

Breaking Pornography Addiction – Part 1 | CCEFIt’s Not Just a ‘Guy Problem’

Break Pornography Addiction – Part Two | CCEF

The Brain on Lust 

Forgiving Your Spouse After Adultery

Sexual Sin in the Ministry

Counseling Stories

Two Time Tables of an Affair

A Wife’s Shame [Q&A]

Confessing Lust to Your Wife: How Detailed Should You Be?

Hijacking the Brain — How Pornography Works

Breaking Pornography Addiction – Part 1

Discussing and Dealing with Pornography

Sexual Integrity Resources for Teens

Sex Before Marriage: How Far Is Too Far?

Double Dangers: Maximizing and Minimizing Mental Illness

Apr 16, 2013 • By David Murray • 21 Comments

No credible Christian I know of says that all instances of depression, anxiety, etc., are always mental illness and never the result of personal sin. Yet sometimes that impression is given because of language and emphasis.

Similarly, no credible Christian I know of says that all instances of depression, anxiety, etc., are caused by personal sin and are never the result of mental illness. Yet sometimes that impression is given because of language and emphasis.

As we saw yesterday, part of the reason for these false impressions is the absence of mutually agreed terminology that would cover both physical and spiritual causes. However, there are steps we can all take to bring Christians who disagree on these matters a bit closer together.

I’m going to ask “mental illness maximizers” (those who speak mostly in illness/disease categories) to reach out to “sin maximizers” (those who speak mostly in moral categories), and then I’m going to reverse the process. I realize that these are not two totally distinct groups and that most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum between them. But, wherever we fall, we can all make an effort to bridge the divide and work more cooperatively and respectfully.

Mental Illness Maximizers

Christians who use mainly “mental illness” language and fully accept the possibility of physical damage and disease in the brain’s ability to process thoughts and emotions, should:

1. Be careful not to give the impression that “mental illness” is all we believe in. While offering compassionate help to those who suffer due to having fallen bodies and brains, or because of factors outside of their control (Job 1), or because of direct divine intervention (John 9), we must also carefully identify where people have brought much or all of their suffering upon themselves due to sinful personal choices, and adjust our language, counsel, and help accordingly.

2. Even where there is a physical cause or element to a person’s suffering, we should still allocate time and energy to helping sufferers respond to these physical issues in a spiritually beneficial manner, reserving an important place for God’s Word in the healing process.

3. We should usually not run to the “medical model” too fast, too over-confidently, or to the exclusion of spiritual factors. Where medical intervention is necessary, we should make clear that it’s very rarely a full cure on its own.

4. Even if there has been physical damage to the brain, undermining its ability to process thoughts and emotions, in addition to medical treatment, we must also have confidence in God’s Word playing a role in reversing bad thinking and feeling patterns, and substituting them with biblical ones.

5. We need to be sure that we are also helping people to get spiritual benefit from their suffering. While we do not agree with the idea of somebody suffering depression to the maximum to get the maximum spiritual advantage (who would do that with a broken leg or cancer?), yet we must question the common demand for the speediest and most complete deliverance that can be found in this world.

6. While being open to medical research, we should be more discerning in reading and believing it due to the secular assumptions that drive most scientific work.

7. If we involve other caring professionals we must stay involved in the caring package and ensure that people are not led astray by false philosophies or dangerous therapies.

8. We must keep the local church, Christian fellowship, the means of grace, and prayer central in all care packages.

Sin Maximizers

The vast majority (95%+) of biblical counselors I speak to accept the existence of “mental illness” to some extent. However, some of them are (understandably) so afraid of losing biblical categories of “sin,” “redemption,” “sanctification,” etc., that they sometimes give the impression that there is no such thing as “mental illness,” or that it’s so extremely rare that it’s hardly worth a cursory glance.

I know this  impression is often unintended and sometimes denied, but it’s the impression I and many others have at times received. As someone who sadly used to be 100% in the “denial of all mental illness” school, I’m probably more sensitive to this impression than others, but I know that the impression is widespread among a wide range of people. And we’re not all dummies.

As the effect of this impression is that many people who desperately need at least some spiritual help turn away from Christian pastors and counselors, and go to more “compassionate” secular counselors, I would offer the following suggestions to lessen this impression and hopefully increase the involvement of biblical counselors in these situations:

1. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, try not to state that in very small print, with very few words, and with a very quiet voice. If you do, don’t be surprised if people think that you in practice deny it.

2. If you accept the possibility  of mental illness, don’t allow any other statements in your speech or writing that seem to deny it. People will see the inconsistency and make their own conclusions about what message is really intended.

3. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, don’t limit root causes to one or two glandular problems. This not only makes it look like the last medical research you read was 30 years ago, it also effectively reduces the number of “genuine” mental illnesses to a negligibly small number.

4. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, provide holistic help to people by going beyond searching for sin and calling to repentance.

5. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, do not indulge in generalized criticism of psychiatrists, psychologists, pharmacists, etc., unless you really know what you are talking about. If there are things to critique – and there are – be specific, but also recognize the valuable contributions that these other caring professionals can make.

6. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, build relationships with trustworthy professionals in those fields, so that you can confidently involve them (not “punt” to them) in caring for sufferers God has brought into your life.

7. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, don’t insist that a person who is suffering in this way endure it as long and as deep as possible in order to get maximum spiritual advantage. You wouldn’t do that if he had cancer. Remember that the person’s family members and churches are often suffering the consequences of waiting for the sufferer to get his “spiritual growth.”

8. If you accept the possibility of mental illness, be open to reading current medical research and learning about the knowledge God is sharing with scientists for the benefit of His church. Try to avoid latching on to a few pieces of research that prove your prejudice against, say, medication. If you are going to quote research, make sure you read a breadth of material and stay mainstream. There are quacks on both extremes of this divide.

Conclusion

If there’s one thing we can all do, it’s to avoid making our own experience the rule for others. That’s the most common mistake I’ve seen people falling into here (and I’ve done it myself as well). Just because medication worked for you, does not mean it will work for everyone else. Just because biblical counseling alone worked for you, doesn’t mean it’s the answer for everyone else. Just because you’ve never been depressed, doesn’t mean depression does not exist. Cases are so different, and causes are so complex, that we need to exercise charity, sympathy, and patience in all our dealings with one another.

What else can we do to bridge the gap and communicate more clearly? This is no academic question. It’s sometimes a matter of life or death.

Previous posts in this series
The problem with “mental illness”
Pastoral thoughts on depression
Mental illness and suicide: the Church awakes
7 Questions about suicide and Christians

The problem with “mental illness”

Apr 15, 2013 • By David Murray • 46 Comments

I wish there was a word or phrase to cover the mental and emotional disorders (e.g. depression, anxiety, schizophrenia) that result from both personal sin (for which we are responsible), and personal suffering (for which we are not – or not wholly –  responsible).

For example, when I sometimes write about “mental illness,” some Christians hear such “disease” terminology as denying sin, minimizing personal responsibility, undermining the sufficiency of Scripture, and ignoring the divine provisions of repentance toward God, faith in Jesus Christ, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. That’s not my intention.

On the other hand, I and others react against the way some Christians reject all (or most) “mental illness” categories. We see this as a serious denial of biblical anthropology, a denial of the extensive damaging effects of the fall upon humanity. Our reasoning for believing in such damage is rooted in Scripture and goes something like this:

Step 1: As a result of the fall, my body’s chemistry, physics, and electricity are damaged.

Step 2: My brain uses physical structure, chemistry, and electricity to process my thoughts and emotions

Step 3: My brain’s ability to process my thoughts and emotions will be damaged to the extent that my brain is affected by the fall.

Step 1 is a biblical fact. Step 2 is a scientific fact. Step 3 is the logical result of Steps 1 and 2.

There are three additional complications to contend with here. The first is that the brain acts as a bridge between our spiritual and physical worlds (our soul and our body) in a way that no other body part does, making it difficult to achieve clear distinctions between what is spiritual and what is physical. Second, the brain is the most complex organ in our body, with so much still to be explored, discovered, and understood that some scientists call it “the last frontier.” Third, just as with all areas of my body, the “natural” damage to my brain in Step 1 can be increased by three aggravating factors:

Factor A: Damage outside my control (e.g. genes, brain injury, aging, abuse**, shock, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, etc.)

Factor B: Personal sin which is my responsibility (e.g. substance abuse, the deliberate choice to think sinful thoughts/feel sinful emotions, the refusal to trust/obey God, rejection of the means of grace, etc.).

Factor C: Direct divine intervention (i.e. God, in His sovereignty, may impact my brain processes: as a chastisement to correct my faith, or as a test to display my faith – as physical suffering did in the case of Job).

As the damage under Step 1 is increased by these three factors, so the disabling suffering in Step 3 will also be increased. But what should we call the mental and emotional disorders/effects in Step 3?

Misleading and harmful
Given that sometimes the disorders in Step 3 are the result of personal choices (Factor B), to use only “mental illness” terminology can be misleading and harmful.

But given that sometimes the disorders in Step 3 are the result of a fallen brain, or damage outside of my control (Factor A), or the direct intervention of God (Factor C), to use only “personal sin” terminology can be equally misleading and harmful.

So what do we call the disorders? “Sin” is too narrow in many cases. “Illness” is too narrow in other cases. Use of either category exclusively is inaccurate, provoking suspicion and often hostile reaction.

In the ongoing absence of mutually acceptable terminology that would allow us to speak more accurately and comprehensively, I have a number of suggestions that I hope might help to bring Christians a bit closer together as we discuss these vital matters that impact millions of suffering people. Tune in tomorrow for more details.

UPDATE: Here’s a link to that follow up post Maximizing and Minimizing Mental Illness

** See Eric Johnson’s book, Foundations for Soul Care for a review of the scientific evidence of the physical changes that take place in the brain due to sexual and verbal abuse in childhood.

7 Questions about Suicide and Christians

Apr 8, 2013 • By David Murray • 46 Comments

I am sure we all grieve deeply and pray earnestly with Rick and Kay Warren, as they mourn the shocking loss by suicide of their dear son, Matthew, after many years of struggle with mental illness. Perhaps pray especially for Kay as she has had her own battles with depression.

From all that I can gather of the circumstances surrounding this tragic situation, I believe that Rick, Kay, the church, and the caring professions did all that they could to prevent this happening, and should not blame themselves. As many of us have also experienced, when someone’s mind has gone so far and their emotions have sunk so deep, and they are determined to end their life, it’s virtually impossible to stop.

As well-publicized suicides tend to increase the suicide rate quite dramatically, I thought it would be good to address seven of the questions that arise in our minds at times like this.

How common is suicide?

  • It is estimated more than one million people die by suicide each year in the world, or more than 2,700 people per day
  • There has been a 31% increase in the number of suicides in the U.S., from an estimated 80 a day in 1999 to 105 a day in 2010.
  • Nearly 20,000 of the 30,000 deaths from guns in the United States in 2010 were suicides, according to the most recent figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
  • Suicidal acts with guns are fatal in 85 percent of cases, while those with pills are fatal in just 2 percent of cases, according to the Harvard Injury Control Research Center.
  • 465,000 people a year are seen in ER for self-injury.
  • Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for teenagers.
  • 7% of 18-39 year olds said that they had seriously considered suicide in the last year.
  • In 2010, the last year for which figures are available, 22 veterans took their own lives every day, with the largest number occurring among men between 50 and 59.
  • Depression is the key indicator in two thirds (@20,000) of all suicides
  • Other key indicators are childhood abuse and confusion over sexuality.

How do I know if someone is thinking about suicide?

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline says three major signs of immediate suicide risk are:

  1. Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself
  2. Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or obtaining a gun
  3. Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live

Other behaviors may also indicate a serious risk, especially if the behavior is new; has increased; and/or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change.

What should I do if I’m worried someone I know is going to commit suicide?

Although it’s counter-intuitive, the most important thing to do is to ask the person if they are thinking about taking their life. Do so in a non-threatening, non-confrontational way, to make it as easy as possible to speak openly about their thoughts and feelings. “I see you’re hurting very deeply. I’m so sorry and really want to help. Is it bad enough, that you’ve been thinking about taking your own life?” Rather than plant suicidal thoughts in their minds, this may allow the suicidal person to admit it and to seek professional help. This is vital and urgent if they tell you that they have got to the stage of making a plan. One of the best short pieces I’ve read on this is 8 Things you need to know about suicide prevention.

Do Christians who commit suicide go to hell?

The short answer is “No!” and this is explained further in two great articles: Suicide, Salvation, and Eternal Security by Bob Kellemen and Do people who commit suicide automatically go to hell? by  Michael Patton. Every Christian dies with unconfessed sin and suicide is not the unpardonable sin.

Who is to blame?

The best answer I’ve come across is In the wake of suicides, why blame is never the answer. There Jen Pollock Michel says:

Trying to locate blame is not usually helpful when seeking to understand why a person has chosen to take his life, especially when that locus of blame is sought by outside observers. The reasons are never immediately obvious, even to those within the closest circles of family and friends. Moreover, the problems are never one-dimensional or easily fixed. I believe firmly that survivors of suicide heal in part as we learn to refuse the responsibility for the choice our loved ones have made.

What if I’m thinking of suicide myself?

Ask God to deliver you from temptation and talk to your loved ones, or your pastor, or your doctor. Or phone National Suicide Prevention Hotline  at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

In Broken MindsPastor Steve Bloem gives a number of reasons he has, at times, used to convince himself not to commit suicide:

  • It is a sin and would bring shame to Christ and His church.
  • It would please the devil and would weaken greatly those who are trying to fight him.
  • It would devastate family members and friends, and you may be responsible for them following your example if they come up against intense suffering.
  • It may not work and you could end up severely disabled but still trying to fight depression.
  • It is true – our God is a refuge (Ps. 9:10)
  • Help is available. If you push hard enough, someone can assist you to find the help you need.
  • If you are unsaved, you will go to hell. This is not because of the acts of suicide but because all who die apart from knowing Christ personally will face an eternity in a far worse situation than depression.
  • If you are a Christian, then Jesus Christ is interceding for you, that your faith will not fail.
  • God will keep you until you reach a day when your pain will truly be over (59-60).

 What can the church do to prevent suicide?

The single biggest thing the church can do to reduce the suicide rate is to admit there is such a thing as mental illness. The second biggest thing we could do is for pastors to admit they need professional help from other disciplines and caring professions to minister to all the complex needs of those suffering such indescribable agonies. As Adrian Warnock, a psychiatrist by training wrote:

Please, if someone you know and love is suffering in a similar way, don’t let anyone persuade you not to reach out for everything medical science can offer. In many cases it can be literally life saving. Too many of us don’t understand just how serious these illnesses are. I pray that this shocking news may help thousands realize that although faith may be protective in such situations, medicine is often also needed to help.

Judgment Day alone will declare how many people took their lives because they were too frightened of the condemnation that would be heaped upon them in the church if they admitted to struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. If there’s one thing that infuriates me (usually holy anger, sometimes not so holy) it’s the ridiculously ignorant and horrifically insensitive statements that some pastors and Christians make about depression and mental illness.

The church would do well to recapture the Puritan’s motto in all their counseling: “A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench” (Matthew 12:20). Sometimes, however, as Matthew Warren experienced, even the most tender and loving of human care is not enough to keep us in life. But nothing shall pluck us out of our Savior’s hand (John 10:28).

UPDATE: Here are some of the best articles I’ve read on this subject in the last 24 hours.

Major Counseling Research Opportunity

Apr 3, 2013 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

A Christian family who have seen family members suffer with mental illness, including schizophrenia, have donated a substantial sum of money to Puritan Reformed Seminary to direct research into the complex question of how much does a mental disorder like schizophrenia affect faith, personal responsibility, etc.

I do not have the time nor the expertise to conduct this research myself, but I’m inviting interested and qualified applicants to submit proposals for part or all of this research grant.

The Question

The particular question as framed by the donor is:

Since acute mental illness and schizophrenia affect a person’s ability to reason out his faith day by day, with the result that the fruits of the Spirit are often absent, to what extent is the Church able to bring comfort to the family of the sick person regarding his salvation?

1. The research would begin by examining the premise. In what ways does schizophrenia affect a person’s ability to reason out his faith day by day?

2. The study would need to determine what mental abilities are needed to have faith as the instrument which leads the elect to Christ.

3.  Does the lack of these mental abilities preclude a personal and saving relationship with Christ.

4. Does the person being a baptized member of the covenant community have any bearing on the question?

Although the donor’s last question is coming from a paedo-baptist perspective, it does not rule out credo-baptist researchers who would be sympathetic to exploring this question.

The Process

We envisage a three step process in advancing this project:

1. We invite applicants to submit 2-3 page proposals for the study of this question. This would outline the thesis, the questions to be answered, research methods, estimated budget, etc.

2. We would select one or more of these proposals for further development. Each approved proposal would attract a grant of $3000 to produce a 20-25 page initial findings submission.

3. We would then hope to be in a position to offer up to $30,000 for twelve months work on completing the work and producing:

  • A 100-150 page academic paper containing findings and proposals
  • A popular level book that would help the church minister to believers suffering with schizophrenia and those who care for them.

If you have any other ideas for how to proceed, I’m very open to your suggestions.

For further details, please contact me at davidmurray@puritanseminary.org

Is it Time for More Positive Biblical Counseling?

Mar 19, 2013 • By David Murray • 10 Comments

Until the late 1990’s “there was a 17-to-1 negative-to-positive ratio of research in the field of psychology. In other words, for every one study about happiness and thriving there were 17 studies on depression and disorder” [The Happiness Advantage, 11].

Consequently, most psychologists spent their time helping people with problems get back to an “average” human experience. Their aim was to help people who were operating at sub-normal levels to get back to normal (e.g. sober up the alcoholic, remove anxiety, etc). Little attention was given to making people happy and optimistic, to lifting them above the average.

Positive Psychology
In 1998, Martin Seligman, then president of the American Psychological Association, rebelled against this imbalanced negativity and led a shift to studying the positive side of the curve, the above average, the “abnormally” happy, etc. Thus, “positive psychology” was born with the emphasis being “what works” rather than “what’s broken.” [12]

Instead of traditional psychology’s focus on “Why are people unhappy?” and “How can we help them out of the slough?” positive psychology asks, “What makes people happy?” and “How can we help them flourish and excel?”

Positive Biblical Counseling
As I survey biblical counseling literature, the ratio seems to be at least 17-1, negative-to-positive (and I’ve contributed to that imbalance.) If you asked most people what words comes to mind when they think of a biblical counselor, I don’t think “smile,” “laugh,” and “enthusiasm for life” would trip off the tongue (although there are some wonderfully cheery exceptions).

Isn’t it beyond time for biblical counseling to become a more positive movement? Yes, of course we must continue to get involved in the mess and rubble of people’s lives. But what about forging an additional positive path? Building another brighter dimension to the movement? Adding the banjo to the violin? Getting on to the front foot and leading people proactively rather than waiting for disasters and then reacting?

I’d like to see Biblical Counseling change the ratio by:

  • Getting Christians through the dark valleys AND leading them beside green pastures and still waters.
  • Wiping away their tears AND teaching them how to rejoice.
  • Fixing spiritual problems AND  promoting spiritual flourishing.
  • Targeting sins for demolition AND graces and gifts for strengthening and exercising.
  • Pulling the backslider out of the filthy ditch AND showing the godly new vistas of spiritual beauty.
  • Puncturing the pride of the arrogant AND building up the faith of the meek.
  • Removing despair AND instilling hope.
  • Quenching hate AND inflaming love.

Such pre-emptive, pro-active, and positive biblical counseling would not only enhance and strengthen an already strong and useful movement, it would also hugely bless God’s people, many of whom are tired with “average,” and who long to flourish, excel, and soar.

It might cheer us all up a bit as well.

I get what I deserve

Mar 15, 2013 • By David Murray • 13 Comments

Have you ever dealt with someone who will not take responsibility?

No matter what happens, someone else is always to blame.

They have a deep sense of injustice over the way life is unfolding for them.

They feel unfairly treated in every area of life: work, school, relationships, sport, family, etc.

They’re not prepared to work particularly hard in any of these areas, and yet expect to have the best job, the best results, the best friendships, the best scores, etc.

The core belief is “I deserve better.”

How do you deal with this? How would you help this person?

I want to change their core belief to, “I get what I deserve.” I feel this would make them take responsibility and stop blaming everyone else when things don’t work out.

“If I don’t get a job, it’s because I didn’t look hard enough. If I fail my exam, it’s because I didn’t study hard enough. If I don’t have any friends, it’s because I’m not friendly to others. If I don’t win, it’s because I didn’t train hard enough, etc.”

I want to burn into their soul, “I get what I deserve. I get what I deserve. I get what I deserve.”

Because that’s generally how the world works. At times we might suffer a bit of unfairness, and at other times we might enjoy more success than we worked for. But, in general, hard work is rewarded and laziness is punished. We get what we deserve.

And yet. And yet. I hesitate. At least I hesitate to press this too hard.

Because I don’t want to undermine the principle and power of GRACE.

I want this person to be converted to Christ. I want them to embrace salvation by grace, I want them to enjoy the magnificent mercy of being saved despite what we deserve. I want them to experience the exhilarating exchange of “I got what Jesus deserved, and Jesus got what I deserved” (2 Cor. 5:21).

I want them to get the principle and power of GRACE in salvation more than anything else in the world.

Yet I also want them to get the principle and power of JUSTICE in vocation, education, etc.

How do I balance this? How do I prioritize? How do I avoid the “dangers” of grace? How do I avoid the dangers of justice? A life is passing, attitudes are hardening, habits are setting, worldview is engraining.

Can someone help me here?

Exploring our Inner Universe

Feb 28, 2013 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

The more I study the brain, the more awed, humbled, and worshipful I become.  As Tim Challies said a week or so ago, it truly is God’s Masterpiece. So relatively unexplored and understood is it, that some scientists are calling it “the last frontier.”

Recently the BBC published photos and a video of the most recent scientific research on the brain. The scanner that produced the pictures needs 22MW of electricity – enough to power a nuclear submarine! Not sure I’d subject my brain to that, but a brave BBC journalist did and the results are staggeringly beautiful. I’ve attached a few photos to this post but I’d highly recommend the video here.

When we look at these images, we must surely bow down and worship the God who created this galaxy within each one of us. But as Christians who believe that the divine curse on sin has impacted every part of the human body, we should surely also be more open to accepting that many people’s emotional or cognitive problems may also have a physical component.

Look at the complexity of these fibers and connections and consider how the fall has inevitably damaged and confused them. Add to that the evidence that our brain wiring is not fixed, but is changed by different experiences we pass through, especially the traumas of abuse, deprivation, and loss. What was once a pristine perfect electrical superhighway is now a tangled confusion of short-circuits, overloads, disconnections, and fuse blowouts. As our thoughts and emotions are processed, they sometimes come to dead-ends, they go round in circles, get diverted, and lost, etc.

That knowledge and understanding should make us more patient, more sympathetic, and more gracious in our dealings with those who suffer with depression and some other mental illnesses. There may well be a physical cause at times. There are almost certainly physical consequences.

But there is also hope in this science. Just as the brain’s wiring can be damaged by sin and painful experiences outside our control, so we must believe that the Gospel can begin to rewire us, repair us and renew our minds. It may take more than the Gospel (e.g. medications and cognitive training might help to rebuild the superhighways within) but the Gospel can surely play a large part in this physical healing too.

Survey: What are the 10 biggest counseling issues today?

Nov 28, 2012 • By David Murray • 10 Comments

I’d like to take a survey of the most common counseling issues pastors are facing in their daily lives. Would you write in the comments the problems you are most frequently encountering and then I’ll try to set up a Top 10 survey with the answers. One of the reasons behind the question is my concern to ensure that seminaries are preparing men adequately for the problems they will come across most.

The basic question is: If you had your seminary training all over again, what issues would you like to have the greatest focus? It could be more modern problems like anorexia, abuse, etc.;  the more “regular” issues like bereavement, pain, depression, fear, etc.; or the deeper, longer challenges like unbelief, doubt, discontent, temptation, chastisement, etc.

If you’re not a pastor, why not answer it along these lines: If you had the opportunity to have your future pastor trained to counsel in certain subjects, what would you choose?

Thanks so much for your contributions and interaction.

How Biblical is Biblical Counseling?

Oct 3, 2012 • By David Murray • 3 Comments

How would you like to write an article on the weaknesses of your family? That’s how I feel in responding to this request to write an article on the weaknesses of biblical counseling. I am a biblical counselor, and biblical counselors are my family. I know and love many of them; I read their books; I listen to their lectures; I value their counsel; and I rejoice at how God is working in them and through them for the benefit of his church.

Like all families, the biblical counseling family has strengths and weaknesses, but how do I identify particular weaknesses without naming particular people on the one hand, or being too general and lumping everyone together on the other hand? Both will result in family uproar, and maybe a homeless orphan too!

So let me first prove my familial love, by highlighting what I value about my biblical counseling family:

(1) I appreciate my family’s emphasis on counseling presuppositions. Biblical counselors have exposed the dangerously unbiblical presuppositions behind much secular counseling today (and some Christian), and have re-built biblical counseling on biblical presuppositions resulting in more biblical aims and methods.

(2) I honor my family’s courage in boldly re-claiming pastoral care, so much of which has been usurped by secular counseling in our day.

(3) I value my family’s emphasis on the power and suitability of God’s Word in addressing people’s problems. They have inspired and trained many Christians to use the Bible to diagnose the roots of problems and to prescribe lasting solutions.

(4) I admire the way my family has restored the biblical vocabulary of personal sin and personal responsibility, giving huge hope of forgiveness and change.

(5) I’m stunned at the quality of the theological and practical resources my family has provided for the church to address a vast range of life problems.

(6) I welcome my family’s stress on the necessity of the Holy Spirit, prayer, and the Christian community to effect long-term transformation.

(7) Above all, I love my family’s compassion for people and the multiple hours they invest in repairing broken lives.

It’s a great family, and I’d encourage many more to join it. However, we’re still quite a young family, and as such we’re not perfect. We still have much to learn from one another and from those outside our family. Biblical counselors still need biblical counseling!

Change the Name

So what counsel would I give to my biblical counseling family? I want to give only one piece of very simple yet very radical counsel: let’s change our name. Actually, to put it more accurately, let’s change the understanding of our name, especially of our first name, “biblical.” Many of our family’s internal squabbles, and some of our confrontations with other families, could be solved by clarifying this meaning.

For some in our family, “biblical” means “Bible only.” For them, biblical counseling could be more accurately renamed “Bible counseling.” In principle, it means they use only the Bible in counseling people; nothing else is helpful, and anything else is compromise. That, however, is not how “biblical” has historically been understood. In the past it has meant that something is either contained in the Bible or consistent with the Bible. That’s based on the belief that God has revealed truth in two places: in his Word and in his world. We therefore discover God’s truth by reading God’s Word and by reading God’s world through the lens of God’s Word.

Take, for example, “biblical preaching.” “Biblical” here does not mean we only use the Bible in sermons. Biblical preaching expounds the Bible, but it also draws from non-biblical sources—some of them authored by unbelievers—such as syntactical, grammatical, lexical, and textual guides and commentaries. We often incorporate historical, geographical, sociological, and cultural research. We regularly draw from current scientific findings and the modern media to teach, explain, or illustrate a point. Even the form and communication style of most modern sermons has been derived largely from ancient and modern philosophical and political speech forms.

However, although some of the content and form of biblical preaching is drawn from outside the Bible, we believe that God has provided a Bible that is up to the task of filtering out the false and admitting the truth of God that he has graciously placed in the world. Similarly, “biblical education” does not mean an education that only teaches the Bible. It teaches the Bible, for sure; but it also teaches other subjects like history, geography, science, math, and English, and it does so in a way that is consistent with Scripture.

The unfortunate narrowing of “biblical” in “biblical counseling” results from a limited view of the sufficiency of Scripture; it takes the sufficiency of Scripture to mean that Scripture is all we use in counseling and that to include any other resource introduces unmanageable danger.

Of course, we approach extra-biblical data and research with caution, recognizing that the authors are often unbelievers. And we do not make extra-biblical sources foundational, primary, or authoritative. But neither do we run away from knowledge outside the Bible that God has given to the human race and unintentionally imply that the Bible is insufficient to guide us away from error and towards His truth.

This broader definition of “biblical” is especially important in areas that God has not addressed directly or extensively in his Word. God’s Word-based revelation includes truth about spiritual problems such as sin that we could never have discovered any other way. However, we can discover other aspects of humanity by diligent research. In these areas, God invites us to work and struggle towards his perfect and comprehensive knowledge of human beings through thinking, hypothesis, experimentation, logical analysis, peer-review, and so on, along with scriptural exegesis.

Thus, for problems that are not purely spiritual, where other factors contribute (such as genetics, biology, physiology, nutrition, chemistry, sociology, and psychology), we should not expect the Bible to supply the non-spiritual information that can be helpful in dealing with certain problems. Rather, we should expect the Bible to be a sufficient lens to read the information supplied by these disciplines, enabling us to find and use only what is consistent with Scripture.

‘Biblical’ Benefits

If my biblical counseling family would return to this broader and more biblical sense of “biblical,” seven major benefits would follow:

(1) It will restore a more comprehensive understanding of the sufficiency of Scripture. Rather than using a truncated (and unreformational) view of the sufficiency of Scripture that might legitimate our ignoring of contemporary science, we should use the concept as a divinely provided and effective weapon enabling us to plunder the knowledge that God has made available in his world through his common (or creation) grace.

(2) It will make us more honest. In practice (as evidenced in some writings), even “Bible-only” counselors sometimes use extra-biblical help and resources. However, we should have the integrity to consistently admit that fact in our presuppositions and public statements as well.

(3) It will help avoid misrepresentation of our position. If we spend much of our time creating an unbiblical dualism between the Word and the world, decrying all worldly sources of knowledge in principle, and then in small print, or in vague language, whisper, “Actually there is some helpful information outside the Bible,” we shouldn’t be surprised or offended when people misunderstand us.

(4) It will help us avoid simplistic diagnosis and prescriptions. If we stick to Bible-only approaches, we will only deal with the spiritual side of problems. That’s fine if the problem is purely spiritual, if it’s 100 percent related to personal sin. But if the problem is more complex, perhaps involving body issues such as genetics or biology, or social issues such as one’s environment or family upbringing, or psychological issues such as child development or habitual thought-patterns, then a simplistic approach will have limited benefits. It’s like trying to rebuild a broken down house by employing only a plumber.

(5) It will help us to avoid approaching our counselees as if they were merely souls. They are persons—whole persons in their whole life. Instead of seeing people just as souls with sinful hearts, we will also see them as people with bodies, histories, relations, and suffering.

(6) It will keep us from writing off and misrepresenting other caring professionals just because they do not use only the Bible. Instead we could manifest a more humble appreciation for the contributions of others in the caring process. It will help prevent us from over-reaching , and give us the confidence to involve other professions in our work with people when advisable (e.g., dealing with someone having a psychotic episode).

(7) It will enable us to welcome research that God has graciously provided for us to help care for people in a holistic way.

Overall, correcting this misunderstanding of “biblical counseling” will improve our family’s relations with one another, with others outside our family, and above all with God as we honor him in using all the resources he has provided to care for his sinning and suffering creatures.

This article was first posted at The Gospel Coalition, where you can also view the comments.

God’s Fatherhood: Better than the latest band-aid of self-help

Sep 7, 2012 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Our theology drives our lives. What we know and understand about God impacts everything – everything we think, say, and do. It especially controls and directs spiritual activities such as preaching and counseling. In previous posts we looked at how the Fatherhood of God should impact the Counselor, and then at the role of this doctrine in the Counselee’s life.

There are also certain counseling problems that are especially helped by specific aspects of God’s Fatherhood. Before looking at these, let me just make two qualifications. First, while the whole Trinity is involved in every counseling solution, in this article we are limiting ourselves to the role of the Father in counseling. Second, while the Fatherhood of God is involved in every counseling scenario, I’m picking the issues in which God’s Fatherliness is especially helpful.

Click on over to Christianity.com for the rest of this article and read how the Fatherhood of God can help in dealing with:

  • Bereavement
  • Single Parenthood
  • Poverty
  • Abuse
  • Chastisement
  • Anxiety
  • Injustice
  • Prodigal Children
  • Bitterness
  • Church Disputes
  • Spiritual Growth
  • Parenting

Fighting Falsehoods about my Heavenly Father

Aug 28, 2012 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

As so many counseling problems are at least partly caused by ignorance, error, or forgetting about God, every counseling problem finds at least part of its answer, and usually a large part, in teaching the counselee about God.

Continuing yesterday’s focus on the Fatherhood of God in counseling, I want to ask two questions: (1) What do you know about the Father? and (2) Do you know the Father? The first question is an intellectual question regarding facts. The second is an experiential question about faith.

1. What do you know about the Father?
Often a counselee will have very little knowledge or very wrong views of God the Father. I therefore want to enquire into their theology. I’ve found that most errors about God the Father revolve around four misconceptions, misconceptions that are often related to their own experience of their father.

First, there is often a misconception of hardness. Often suffering people will conclude from their pain that God does not care, at least not for them: He is unfeeling, cruel, and vindictive. Or perhaps they have been abused by a Father – verbally, physically, sexually – and transfer their earthly experience of fatherhood (or of a “father figure”) to their heavenly Father.

Second, there is a sometimes the opposite problem, a misconception of indulgence, again often a consequence of their experience of their father. Maybe they were spoiled, or they’ve seen again and again that that’s how most fathers deal with their children. Or perhaps they’ve swallowed the culture’s predominant representation of God as a cuddly cosmic sugar-daddy who gives everyone what they want.

Third, there is the classic deist misconception of God as distant and non-involved. Again, in an epidemic of absent fathers, this can be a perfectly understandable conclusion to draw.

Fourth, some can view the Father as a rather sinister figure, lurking in the background, hiding in the shadows. The Son is the loving front-figure of the Deity, but has to work very hard to keep the reluctant malevolent Father “on-board” with the plan of salvation. It’s an error that’s been around for a long time, an error that Jesus Himself faced down with: “He that has seen me has seen the Father.”

Obviously if a person believes any of these lies about God the Father, it’s going to have a huge impact on their relationship with God and upon their response to problems in their lives.

A large part of the counseling process can involve re-educating people about who God is, uncovering lies and replacing them with biblical truth.

2. Do you “know” the Father?
This question takes us into the realm of Christian experience, using “know” in the biblical sense of “having intimate personal acquaintance with.” Our questioning here is not just an intellectual fact-gathering, but a searching of the true spiritual state of a person – saved or unsaved, then healthy believer or unhealthy.

The most important question here, of course, is does the person savingly know God the Father the only way that’s possible, that is through faith in Jesus Christ (Jn. 14:6).

Assuming the answer to this is “Yes,” the major questions really center upon whether the Christian is living that out in daily life, and especially in dealing with their problems. Is there a daily walk with God? Is there a daily consciousness of God as Father?  Is there a looking to Him for guidance, wisdom, and strength? Is there a submitting to His discipline? Is there a personal relationship with this person of the Trinity? Do they really “know” the Father?

Tomorrow we’ll look at how the Fatherhood of God can offer specific help in dealing with specific counseling problems.

Trinitarian Counseling

Aug 27, 2012 • By David Murray • 6 Comments

“What 2-3 books would you recommend to someone wanting to embark on in-depth study of the Trinity, and, importantly, its application in living the Christian life?”

That was one of the questions posed to the Q&A panel at last week’s PRTS conference. A few of the speakers mentioned Bob Letham’s book on the Trinity, but there was a clear sense that the book combining in-depth study of the Trinity PLUS practical application is still awaiting an author. And it’s especially practical application of the Trinity to the Christian life that’s extremely rare.

Counseling and the Fatherhood of God
Let me give an example of how this might work in the area of counseling. Although my focus will be on the Fatherhood of God, similar pieces could also be written about “Counseling and the Son” or “Counseling and the Holy Spirit.”

Today we’ll look at the the impact of God’s Fatherhood upon the counselor; tomorrow we’ll consider the impact upon the counselee; and the next day we’ll illustrate how how God’s fatherliness helps us address specific counseling problems.

God’s Fatherhood reminds the counselor to carry two truths into every counseling session: (1) I am my Father’s child, and (2) I am my Father’s representative.

(1) I am my Father’s child
God is my Father in two ways, by creation and by grace.

In common with the whole human race, I am a child of God by creation. Although we deny the universal Fatherhood of God as taught by liberal scholars such as Adolf Von Harnack, the fact that God is the creator of everyone means that, in a limited sense, God is the Father of every human being (Acts 17:28)

In counseling, this reminds me of the fundamental unity and equality of the whole human race, and gives me a fellow-feeling and a sympathy with my counselees, including those who are unbelievers.

Just as the Father makes the sun to shine and the rain to fall on the just and the unjust (Matt. 5:44-45), so, in imitation of my Father, I am to seek the physical and spiritual good of my fellow-creatures.

This truth also reminds me that counselor and counselee are dependent upon the same Father for life, health, strength and all other physical resources (Acts 17:28).

However, as a Christian I must go further, I must go beyond the universal Fatherhood of God by creation, because, as a believer in Christ, I am also now a child of God by grace.

This is especially important to remember when I am counseling fellow-believers, fellow sons and daughters of God the Father. That changes my relationship with them from professional to family. I’m not going into the interview as a stranger giving professional help to another stranger. I am a brother in the same family as my counselee.

That also helps me to see myself and the counselee as being simultaneously trained by the same Father. God has brought two of His children together to train both of us, to move both of us from weakness to maturity, from ignorance to knowledge.

And, of course, as I walk towards the meeting I am depending upon my Father for all spiritual resources, for me and for the success of my counseling.

(2) I am my Father’s representative
Just as the preacher is an ambassador for God in the pulpit, so is the counselor in the counseling session. That challenges me to ask:

  • What am I communicating about God, especially His Fatherhood?
  • Am I re-presenting God accurately to this person?
  • What does this person think about God when he sees and hears me?
  • Do I welcome counselees as God the Father would?
  • Do I communicate warm empathy or cold indifference?
  • Is my body language and appearance “fatherly” or “kingly?”
  • Are my words and the Spirit I speak them in fair reflections of the Father.
  • Am I getting in the way of the Father or am I helping brothers and sisters towards the Father?

Summary: Remembering the Fatherhood of God should make counselors more loving, more sympathetic, more dependent, and more God-like.

10 lessons from two days of filming

Jun 20, 2012 • By David Murray • 5 Comments

I’ve just finished two days of filming various Christian counselors for the HeadHeartHand Media documentary on Depression and the Christian. It was a huge privilege and a fantastic learning opportunity to pick the brains and explore the hearts of three experienced Christians who have dedicated their lives to caring for God’s hurting people. Here’s what I carried away from these interviews:

1. All kinds of people get depression: Depression smashes caricatures about depression. It’s not a choice that weak losers make. No, it affects rich and poor, the very old and the very young and every age in between, Type A and B…and every other type too.

2. Build relationship in order to build trust: It’s the old “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” As with pulpit ministry, our words carry so much more weight and credibility when there is a relationship between the speaker and hearer.

3. Good listening is massive medicine: Sometimes we run out of things to say or don’t know what to say. However, don’t underestimate the healing power of real listening. I experienced this recently when I shared with my wife an anxiety I had been carrying. There wasn’t much she could say to resolve the problem, but I slept so much better after she simply listened to me.

4. Jumping to simplistic conclusions is extremely damaging: I never cease to be amazed by the cruel things that are said to and about depressed people. Quick fixes fix nothing. First conclusions are usually wrong conclusions. Depression is usually a complex, multi-layered problem that does not lend itself to simplistic answers from simple minds.

5. Holistic approaches to cause and cure produce most success: As causes are usually a complex mix of physical, spiritual, social, and psychological factors, cures often involve all these areas too.

6. A Christian approach to counseling is hope-filled and optimistic: A film about depression runs the huge risk of being thoroughly depressing! However, all the counselors communicated how much joy they experience in seeing God work His grace and joy even in the most desperate situations. With that hope, thet can look forward to their work every day.

7. The Bible has something to say to every situation and every problem: I was deeply impressed by these counselors’ confidence in God’s Word. They have seen its power at work in many lives, including their own. One counselor, a Christian Child Psychologist, said that although she often points depressed teens to certain passages of Scripture, her greatest aim is to get the teen reading the Bible for themselves again, because that’s where God meets His people and does His healing work.

8. Christians have nothing to fear from true scientific research: It deeply distresses me to see the way some Biblical counselors are so dismissive of science, tending to jump on any research that reflects negatively on psychology or pharmacology, and ignoring any research that fails to support their presuppositions. Each of the counselors we interviewed respected science as God’s gift, and reading it through the spectacles of Scripture, found help from it in ministering to God’s hurting people.

9. Depression is a sanctifying and equipping experience: Painful though the journey is, time and again depression proves to be a time of Christian growth. God often uses it to draw a person to Himself, increase dependence upon Him, and to equip them to be far more useful than they ever were before. I’ve found many depressed people to be the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. Sometimes that’s why they get depression.

10. Depression gives the Church a great opportunity to minister God’s grace: Depressed people do not find much sympathy in the world. Here is a wonderful opening for the church to show the heart of Christ who came to heal the brokenhearted, the brokenminded, and the brokenbodied.

A new breed and a dying breed

Jun 12, 2012 • By David Murray • 14 Comments

Deepak Reju is the Pastor of Biblical Counseling at Capitol Hill Baptist Church. In A New Breed: Pastors who Love Counseling, Deepak highlights the welcome upward trend of interest in pastoral counseling in the local church, and lists some examples of churches who have hired a Pastor of Biblical Counseling.

I’ve only heard good things about Deepak’s counseling ministry and I’ve always enjoyed what he’s written on counseling. However, I wonder if his article highlights a growing and worrying division of roles into pastor-preachers on the one hand and pastor-counselors on the other?

For example, consider how Deepak describes himself as a pastor, but then draws two contrasts between himself and other pastors:

  1. “But I am also a counselor.”
  2. “Yet, I’m different than most pastors. I love counseling.”

Now, the church definitely needs men and women who are called specifically to pastoral counseling; some pastors are so overwhelmed with the number and complexity of counseling cases, that specialist pastoral counselors are needed to ease the load. But this article seems to envisage pastors who are not counselors, or at least pastors who do not love counseling. And that seems to fit what I perceive as a growing and widespread withdrawal of pastors from counseling ministry.

Serious questions
Which raises some serious questions: Can you really call yourself a pastor without constant counseling involvement in people’s messy lives? Can you really be an edifying preacher of the Word without regularly getting your hands dirty in personal ministry?  To be blunt, can you be a pastor and not love counseling? Is that not an oxymoron? Surely a love for ministering the Word to individual needs and problems is a basic qualification of a Gospel minister. If a man told me that he felt a call to pastoral ministry, but didn’t want to counsel people, I’d show him the door.

Pedigree or mongrel
Now it’s possible that I’m drawing the lines too starkly here. Perhaps pastor-preachers are also doing hours of personal counseling every week. But, from what I can gather from various churches going down this route, it doesn’t work like that. The two roles are growing further and further apart, with serious adverse effects on the tone and content of pulpit ministry – more academic, more distant, less “real,” less “human.”

It might appear logical that a person’s preaching will improve if he’s given much more time to study. However, there’s nothing like the stress and strain of daily involvement in people’s lives to put life, vitality, and gritty realism into a preacher and his sermons.

I’m afraid that pastoral ministry is being split into two pure pedigrees – the preacher breed and the counselor breed. I much preferred the old “mongrel” breed of the pastor who both preached to and counseled his flock (Acts 20:20). I hope they’re not dying out.

“Black folk don’t go to therapy”

Jun 1, 2012 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

We’ve really struggled to find Black, Hispanic, and Asian subjects for our DVD project, Christians get depressed too. I’ve talked to a couple of African American friends and I’m beginning to understand why. Knowing that Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile has a background in Psychology, I reached out to ask for his views, and he’s agreed to be interviewed for the DVD on this subject. I’m so looking forward to hearing his insights and hoping that his interview will help promote understanding and compassion towards many secret sufferers in the African American community.

In God’s providence, just yesterday I came across an article in my pre-interview preparation called Black with postpartum depression: My therapist had never treated a black woman. Lebo, a black South African mother movingly describes her battle with Postpartum depression and Postpartum OCD. And a great part of the battle for her was the lack of understanding and help from her own community.

I tried looking for more black women who had gone through this. I found three on Twitter. Three … that’s it.  I talked to anyone who cared to listen, and many made me feel insecure, like I was the only black woman to ever go through this.  I was told to smile, pray more, suck it up and enjoy my baby.  Why are you on meds? Don’t you know you’ll be dependant for life?  My very close cousin was scared of me, she told me I was going crazy.  See I love how the black community is the same all over the world … like Addye said:

  1. We don’t do therapy, at all.
  2. Any mental illness means you are losing your marbles, hence we keep it a secret.
  3. Women are meant to be hard as a rock; we are somehow supernatural beings.
  4. If anything goes wrong in your life, it’s because God is punishing you for something and you are just not worthy of Him.

I made a choice to reach out. I owed it to myself to get better, to my kids, to my family.  The white community in South Africa welcomed me with open arms. They all knew someone who’d gone through postpartum depression.  My therapist had never ever treated a black woman.  Our support group had, well, no women of colour.  But I made it my mission to find more of us, and what better way to do that than sharing my experiences. I wrote to all baby magazines, and started a blog. And one day, when I least expected it, my pastor at church called me to the side and told me that she went through PPD.  Two of my distant friends had gone through it, but kept it a secret.  I also received two emails from strangers who had gone through this.

You can read the rest here (warning: couple of misuses of “Hell”), and Too blessed to be stressed is another heart-rending testimony in the Warrior Moms of Color series. I’d thoroughly recommend this Black folk don’t go to therapy video as well:

Have you got any insights you can offer on this subject? Anyone else I should be speaking to? We’d really like to maximize the helpfulness of this film to as many different groups and communities as possible.

Six Simple Ways to Avoid Burnout

May 4, 2012 • By David Murray • 10 Comments

Following on from yesterday’s video, Lessons from the Wrecker’s Yard, here’s an infographic on burnout. It’s one of the best and most helpful infographics I’ve seen.

Burnout Infographic

Source: TheSimpleDollar.com

Compassion Fatigue

Apr 30, 2012 • By David Murray • 3 Comments

Ever heard of “compassion fatigue”? Neither had I…until very recently. But now that I know about it, I have definitely experienced it. Probably you have too, especially if you’re involved in ministry or caregiving.

Compassion fatigue is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. Common among caregivers, it was first diagnosed in nurses in the 1950s.

Sufferers can exhibit several symptoms including hopelessness, a decrease in experiences of pleasure, constant stress and anxiety, and a pervasive negative attitude. Detrimental effects include decrease in productivity, inability to focus, and development of new feelings of incompetency and self doubt.

Media Saturation
Some argue that the media shares a large part of the blame for the current prevalence of compassion fatigue “by saturating newspapers and news shows with tragic stories and images of suffering, causing the public to become cynical, or become resistant to helping people who are suffering.” In extreme cases it can lead to such a hardening of the heart that carers turn into abusers.

Contrary to what you might think, it’s the most sensitive and sympathetic who are most likely to suffer from this. Charles R. Figley, co-author of Compassion Fatigue:

There is a cost to caring. Professionals who listen to clients’ stories of fear, pain, and suffering may feel similar fear, pain, and suffering because they care. Those who have enormous capacity for feeling and expressing empathy tend to be more at risk of compassion stress.

And yes, there’s a website. At the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project, you can even take a Compassion Fatigue Self-Test! Apart from education and raising self-awareness, the path to wellness includes the old faithfuls of exercise, eating healthy foods, drinking plenty water, just say no, being proactive instead of reactive, friends, etc.

Christ’s Compassion
But I’d like to add another remedy, and that’s the consideration and experience of Christ’s compassion. “He took our infirmities and bare our sicknesses” (Matt. 8:17). That does not mean that He suffered all the weaknesses and sicknesses that we endure. It does mean that he felt them as if He endured them. That’s what compassion is, isn’t it. It’s an ability to enter into another person’s life and to so imagine the agony of their suffering that we feel the pain ourselves.

Jesus was able to enter every painful situation – leprosy, blindness, deafness, bereavement, etc – and feel it as if he was the leper, as if he he was blind, deaf, bereaved, etc. In fact with his perfect human sensitivity, he was able to feel the pain of these conditions even more excruciatingly than the actual sufferers themselves!

No one was surrounded by so many sick and sorrowful people as Jesus, as hundreds and thousands and tens of thousands were brought to him for healing. Yet he never once suffered from compassion fatigue.

Did it exhaust Him? Of course it did. He was so shattered at times that He needed to withdraw and recharge his batteries. However, though tired out by compassion, He never tired of compassion. Though it exhausted Him, He never stopped experiencing it. If anyone ever felt the cost of caring, He did; yet He continued to pay the price even when the objects of His compassion returned the favor with cruel ingratitude.

Pastors, caregivers, sensitive souls, bring your compassion fatigue to the ever- and always-compassionate Christ. Envelop yourselves in His refreshing care, recharge your batteries by connecting to His tender love, and resensitize your hearts with His kind grace.

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