Who are the happiest people in the world?
Winners? Sounds about right, doesn’t it. That’s why we invest so much in team sports; winning the game makes us happy. That’s why children fight and bicker; beating little sis makes us happy. That’s why husbands and wives shout at each other; winning the argument makes us happy That’s why we cut up other drivers; getting in front makes us happy. That’s why we trample over others on route to the top; winning promotion makes us happy Winners are happy! Aren’t they? They aren’t! They’re miserable (after the initial victory rush). And the more they win, the more miserable they become. Anyone disagree? So who are the happiest people in the world? Servants. Servants enjoy seeing others win. Servants enjoy being second; they are even happier when last. They not only preach servant-hood. They do it. Jesus served with a towel and water, called others to copy his example, and said: If you know these things, happy are you if you do them (John 13:14-17).
Tag Archive - Happiness
Why are winners so miserable?
Nov 8, 2010 • By David Murray • 5 Comments
Our Happy God
Apr 10, 2010 • By David Murray • 0 Comments
What makes God so happy? Three times we are told that our God is “blessed forever” (Rom. 1:25; 9:5; 2 Cor. 11:31). But what makes Him so happy? Well, I’m sure there are many contributing factors. For example, being perfectly holy must be a great source of happiness. The absence of uncertainty, through knowing the end from the beginning, must also engender huge happiness.
But maybe we can also learn about divine happiness from human happiness. I’ve just been reading Where does happiness come? in which Oscar del Ben reflects on this question, and gives four possible answers. I couldn’t help but think of how his “human” answers may give theological insight into some sources of God’s happiness. 1. Giving “stuff” away As the giver of every good and perfect gift, God is always extraordinarily and immeasurably happy. But what all-surpassing happiness accompanied His greatest gift, the gift of His only Son for sinners. 2. Creating something What happy days for God, when He was creating the universe! What satisfaction as He spoke the universe into existence. Each day His happiness was expressed as He saw everything so good. Then came the apex, the climax, when He made humanity: “All very good!” 3. Connecting people While the devil is the great divider and separator of humanity, God is the great “connector.” By His plan of grace, He is connecting people with Himself and with one another. By the Gospel of Christ, He smashes barriers and tears down walls (Eph. 2:14-17). By the Gospel, He creates unity and community. 4. Doing something new Ultimately, God is behind every discovery, every advance, every invention. He is the source of all newness, all imagination, and all innovation. With every soul saved, He makes all things new (2 Cor.5:17). By His Holy Spirit, He is renewing His people day by day (Eph. 4:24). Finally, He will make all things new (Rev. 21:5). What an exuberantly happy day that will be, both for God and His people! No wonder Paul calls his message “the glorious Gospel of the happy (blessed) God” (1 Tim. 1:11).Successful ministry or happy marriage?
Apr 7, 2010 • By David Murray • 0 Comments
Two things happened to Sandra Bullock this month. First, she won an Academy Award for best actress. Then came the news reports claiming that her husband is an adulterous jerk. So the philosophic question of the day is: Would you take that as a deal? Would you exchange a tremendous professional triumph for a severe personal blow? (David Brooks, The Sandra Bullock Trade, New York Times, 03/29/10)
Let’s take David Brooks’ deal, and re-frame it for pastors: Would you accept a “successful” ministry at the cost of a happy marriage?
On the basis of extensive and rigorous research studies, Brooks argues:Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being. If you have a successful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy. If you have an unsuccessful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled.
Brooks also has a fascinating few paragraphs on the relationship between money and happiness. For example, did you know that:
People aren’t happiest during the years when they are winning the most promotions. Instead, people are happy in their 20’s, dip in middle age and then, on average, hit peak happiness just after retirement at age 65.
But he returns to the relationship between personal relationships and happiness, and concludes:
If the relationship between money and well-being is complicated, the correspondence between personal relationships and happiness is not. The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting. According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income. According to another, being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.
The overall impression from this research is that economic and professional success exists on the surface of life, and that they emerge out of interpersonal relationships, which are much deeper and more important.
Back to the deal: Would you accept a “successful” ministry at the cost of a happy marriage?
If someone was to look at your daily schedule, would they know your answer to that question?
Picture: 2006 © Fred Goldstein. Image from BigStockPhoto.com
The Happiness Project
Jan 7, 2010 • By David Murray • 0 Comments
Gretchen Rubin spent the last year “test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier.” The result is a book called The Happiness Project (# 2 on NYT bestseller list and also on my reading list). On her blog, Gretchen “shares her insights on how to create your own happiness project.”
Thankfully every Christian already has their own happiness project. Or maybe we should say that God has made each Christian a happiness (holiness?) project. I’m reminded of Derek Thomas’s reply when he is asked by a fellow plane passenger what he does: “My job is to make people eternally happy!” Quite a conversation starter! (or sometimes a stopper?).
Anyway, every Wednesday is Tip Day on Gretchen’s blog. This week she gave Seven tips for avoiding an office affair. I thought the advice was not only relevant for Christians in the workplace, but also transferable to pastors (to some extent).You can read the whole piece here, but this is a summary of her main points:
1. Never take a first step in flirtation, even in jest.
2. Never have more than one drink with people from work. If that.
3. Never confide details from my personal life to people from work, and don’t allow them to confide in me.
4. Never allow myself to have a “special friend” of the attractive sex (sometimes called a “work spouse”) to whom I turn for particular support. (This is sometimes called an “emotional affair.”)
5. Unless it’s an unmistakably professional context, don’t meet alone with a colleague or client of the attractive sex.
6. Imagine your spouse/partner as an audience – cc’d on the email, listening to the phone call, walking suddenly into the conference room. If you’d feel uncomfortable in that situation, you’ve crossed some line.
7. If you develop a close relationship with someone from the attractive sex at work, get to know his or her family. That puts a damper on starting an affair.
There’s no doubt if some Christians and some Pastors had followed this advice they and their families would have had much more happiness and much less sadness.
Gretchen does question some of these tips and ends with the following questions, which you may want to respond to:
Do you agree with these tips? Do you think they’re too restrictive? Unnecessary? Would you suggest other strategies?
About David Murray
- Follower of Christ
- Preacher of the Gospel
- Professor of Old Testament & Practical Theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary
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