Comments on: Is the “sandwich method” a load of baloney?

By: Joe Willis

Joe Willis — Sat, 11 Jan 2020 17:42:00 +0000

Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. NKJV
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. ESV

By: Nuggets [6/18/12] | Counseling One Another

Nuggets [6/18/12] | Counseling One Another — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:48:10 +0000

[...] Is the ‘Sandwich-Method’ a Load of Baloney? – Sam Crabtree’s book, “Practicing Affirmation” was one of my top-ten reads in 2011. This 4-part review/interaction from David Murray reminds me why I wanted, and need, to read it again. Share Print this entry [...]

By: Steve Martin

Steve Martin — Sun, 27 May 2012 14:05:57 +0000

Just be honest. “Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no.”

All this focus on people’s self-esteem may at times be helpful…but I think it has gone way overboard.

Thanks.

By: Links I Like (Weekend Edition) | Blogging Theologically | Jesus, Books, Culture, & Theology

Sat, 26 May 2012 09:02:43 +0000

[...] Is the “Sandwich Method” a Load of Baloney? [...]

By: David Murray

David Murray — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:31:13 +0000

Totally with you there.

By: David Murray

David Murray — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:30:52 +0000

Yes, these are more complicated scenarios, Staci. But you’re right, acknowledging good intentions is also important.

By: David Murray

David Murray — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:29:50 +0000

Agreed, Jim. Culture is a big factor. Probably temperament and character too.

By: Jim

Jim — Thu, 24 May 2012 13:25:52 +0000

You know, it really depends on your culture as well (not even just the wider culture, but your personal culture).

I remember discussing this with a Mexican friend (I’m Canadian). If someone came to me asking about my family and telling me what a great job I was doing selling widgets before they confronted me with something, I would likely be offended.

On the other hand, my Mexican friend was the opposite – if you confronted him (even if it was kindly) but didn’t ask about the family and compliment his widget selling, he would be likely to be offended.

Maybe the message is that being sincere and caring includes actually knowing people individually and not just using a formula that works with “most people”…

By: Staci

Staci — Thu, 24 May 2012 13:15:05 +0000

Deliberately trying to think of something affirming before you correct someone is probably not good, but in the workplace and now as a parent, I often find myself in situations where someone started out with good intentions and went too far. I think in those times it’s important to recognize that the person meant well.

“I know you’re excited to see your baby cousin, but when you ran over and tackled him with a hug, you scared him.”

“I appreciate that you tried to diffuse that situation on your own, but that’s part of the managers job, so it’s better to call for help before things get heated.”

That sort of thing. But perhaps that was covered in the book (which I really need to read).

By: SomeGuy

SomeGuy — Thu, 24 May 2012 13:14:38 +0000

If you know the sandwich method, when someone uses it on you, it comes across as insincere and phony. You know they made up the praise part just to fill the formula. People aren’t stupid.