Comments on: Big Church = Big Sadness

By: Shaz

Shaz — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:47:00 +0000

In response to Brenda, I think it depends on your state of mind. I experienced a pretty traumatic loss and the fairly big church I used to love and be excited to be part of became one big mass of anxiety where I was constantly biting back tears and hiding in the toilets during the coffee break. Every piece of bad news (and good news on the flip-side) hit me between the eyes and it just became too much. Whereas outside of church I could limit my intake of news, just being in a church service or checking emails – it slapped me in the face every week. I had to step out of being on the prayer ministry team and a homegroup leader because it was like living it all over again with someone else, and then someone else; something I was just not emotionally ready to do. I now appreciate a much smaller fellowship. Although there are still these types of prayer requests, it is nowhere near as many or as overwhelming.

By: Shaz

Shaz — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 14:03:09 +0000

Thank you for this article. This is exactly the issue I am having with my current church to the point where I can’t face going anymore. My previous church was smaller with it’s own sad occurences, but not a huge long list. My current church which seems to be busy and bustling has a long list of prayer items both in the Sunday service and on the weekly news email, which I dread to read these days. I used to be part of the prayer ministry team until I had my own tragedy. My father was on that list for 3 months while he suffered and then died and I felt an intense embarrassment like I had been in the spotlight and felt incredibly self-conscious even after coming ‘off the list’. Since then I have found every prayer item depressing and I hide in the toilets during the coffee break. What to do? I’m seeking a smaller congregation for my own sanity.

By: David Murray

David Murray — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 21:13:05 +0000

Hi Brenda. Big families, like big churches, can have big blessing, as you point out and as I too have experienced. But, yes, with every child, there will be of course also a multiplying of trial and trouble. That’s not an argument against big churches or big families. It’s simply saying that we need to know ourselves and our limitations, and take steps so that we are not sunk with more than we can bear. Research shows that bad news is “stickier” than good news – we are drawn to bad news more than good news, and it takes five pieces of good news to balance out the effect of one piece of bad news. That means we (and our pastors) must adopt biblical strategies (e.g. Philippians 4:8-9) in deciding what news (church or otherwise) to let into our minds and hearts or we will suffer the mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences. I read Voice of the Martyrs, but I make sure I read about revivals too!

By: Brenda

Brenda — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 18:54:08 +0000

You wouldn’t use this logic against having big families, would you? The more children you have the greater the chance for big sadness. Think about when your children get married and have children of their own all the extra sadness you could possibly have.
So many times the trials we have had, have drawn my larger church together and while the magnitude of the situation can overwhelm us, the evidence of God’s nearness can leave us with more peace and brotherly love than before. Care pages and blogs can be life changing – in a positive way and being able to see how God upholds his people is so comforting, know that God will uphold me too in all my trials, big or small.
Even if some of these trials were not in my church, but just in our community, there’s a big chance I could still hear about them, read about them and have the same feelings as if they were happenings to one of my fellow church members.
Having a large church can also mean that there are many helping hands.
Any thoughts? Should I cancel my ‘Voice of the Martyrs’ subscription?

By: shawn anderson

shawn anderson — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 16:38:12 +0000

This is helpful to think about, even in application to a small church. The church I serve is around 35 households. We have a Daily Prayer Guide.
1)Families and individuals have been divided into 31 groups (arranging single households or widows in the same slot).
a)Find the box with your name in it and place a (1) there.
b)Continue to number the blank boxes from 2 to 30.
c)Use these numbers as days of the month and pray for those names that day.

2)A blank box is placed opposite each group
a)Add people to pray for in “friends” column; be sure to add unsaved friends that you would like to come to Christ.

By everyone participating, everyone can be prayed for each day. AND if you have a larger congregation, then you could divide your households into 60-61 days. If you don’t have enough households to fill up 60-61 slots, then give college students their own slot. This would really support them.

In this way, each family will be praying for all of the families in the congregation between 6-12 times a year, minimum.