We honor marriage because God honors it. Indeed the whole Trinity testifies that marriage is honorable.

  • God the Father honored it by designing, instituting, regulating, and witnessing the first marriage. God defines it’s nature, its parties, and its terms. 
  • Christ honored it by performing his first miracle at a wedding (John 2) and using marriage in quite a few parables
  • The Holy Spirit honored it by making it a picture of the church in Ephesians 5.

We also honor marriage because God commands it to be honored (Heb 13:4). Here are eight ways we can do this.

1. We honor it by praying for it

Some people will pray for a parking spot but never pray for a wife or a husband. They think it’s too much to ask. Or they’ll pray for their kids to get into college but not that they’d get into a good marriage. By not asking God for marriage for themselves or their loved ones, they are dishonoring marriage and the God who can give it.

A fund raiser once told me that some wealthy people he knows are actually insulted if he doesn’t ask them for money, or if he asks them for too little. Instead they feel honored that he should ask them and that he should ask them for so much.

Honor God and marriage by asking for happy and fruitful marriages for yourself and for your children. Let it never be said, “You have not, because you ask not.” Or “You ask not because you value not.”

2. We honor it by seeking partners according to God’s Word

God has clearly set out that Christians should only marry in the Lord (1 Cor. 7:39) and that there are certain characteristics and qualifications to look for in a wife or husband. We honor God when we comply with the Maker’s instructions for marriage.

3. We honor it by waiting for it

God has forbidden sexual intimacy before marriage. We’re not permitted an appetizer, not even a sip; that only spoils the feast. Honor marriage by waiting for it.

4. We honor it by entering into it at appropriate ages

We can dishonor marriage by getting married too young, when there’s little understanding or appreciation of marriage, when one or both parties are too flippant or frivolous about it. But we also dishonor it by delaying too long, by putting it off later and later in life.

5. We honor it by organizing Christ-centered weddings

Some weddings have virtually no reference to God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, or the Gospel. The messages are just full of do’s and don’ts, the speeches are irreverent and risqué. It’s like receiving the greatest gift from someone and then not even thanking them, or worse, making fun of him and his values. Honor marriage by honoring God on your marriage day.

6. We honor it by avoiding debt-laden weddings

The average wedding in America now costs $31,000! What a way to start out in married life. It’s like starting a race with lead weights tied round your ankles. It is wrong, displeasing to God, and damaging to everyone.

7. We honor it by taking on the roles God has designed

The wife’s role and the husband’s role have each been designed by God to show the relationship between Christ and church – the man to primarily show Christ’ love, the woman to primarily show the believer’s obedience.

8. We honor it by defending and promoting it.

We oppose every attempt to re-define marriage. But we must to more than defend marriage and oppose its attackers. We must also promote it by demonstrating what a wonderful thing it is – especially to our children. We must demonstrate its benefits.

The Puritan Daniel Rogers wrote:

Marriage is the preservative of chastity, the seminary of the commonwealth, seed plot of the church, pillar of the world, right hand of providence, supporter of laws, states, orders, offices, gifts, and services; the glory of peace, the sinews of war, the maintenance of policy, the life of the dead, the solace of the living, the ambition of virginity, the foundation of countries, cities, universities, succession of families, crowns, and kingdoms.

  • http://www.thinkpoint.wordpress.com/ SC

    Excellent and needed reminders! There is never a time in ministry when I am not directly or indirectly involved with at least five to ten marriages in crisis.

    We can be certain that the way one views the nature of marriage will affect how one lives in the relationship of marriage. If we get the nature of marriage wrong, we’re less likely to do well in marriage. A primary reason for many marital problems is a failure to understand, respect and live by the God-intended purpose for marriage. ( https://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2011/03/24/a-closer-look-at-marriage/ ).

  • Guest

    Thanks David!! This is very good, as I enjoy all of your posts. There is one though that I would like to address. It is point #4. Perhaps I am misinterpreting what you really mean to say here, but maybe you could clarify further if you get a chance. I think we need to be careful with this point #4, because there are many people, myself included, who got married late in life compared to other Christians. The Lord brought my wife and I together in our late thirties. I realize that this is not the “norm” for Christians. However, even though it is not the “norm,” it seems wrong to say that it dishonors marriage. The Lord works in different peoples lives in very different ways. Sometimes I wish that God had brought us together in our twenties (i do wrestle with these thoughts), so that we could have had children possibly and enjoyed many years of youth together. However, when I do this, I am questioning His wisdom, and I need to rest in His perfect care over every event of my life. I know 2 godly men right now, both around 40 years old, who are not yet married. They both desire marriage, and are looking, but God, in His perfectly wise providential timing, has not brought them a wife yet. It is easy to get married young when the Lord brings the gift of a spouse into someone’s lives. But He does not do this for everyone. There are godly men and women who are struggling in their search for a spouse, praying for it, pursuing it in a godly way, and it has not happened yet. And sometimes this goes on for many, many years. We can’t say that people are dishonoring marriage because they waited longer. Could it not be that some of these Christians actually “honored the Lord” by patiently “waiting” for a godly spouse til they were in their 40′s or 50′s, instead of trying to marry someone years sooner who was not the right person for them. It all depends on individual circumstances, There many reasons why some older Christians are not married who “want” to be married. Yes, maybe their standards are too high in some cases, but not all cases. Sometimes they are waiting on God to bring them a spouse, while they continue their search. This is not easy. One guy I know who loves Christ battles this every day.

    • David Murray

      Yes, just to be clear, I was not referring to those who providentially don’t marry until later in life. I was referring to those who are in a relationship but chose to delay marriage for no good reason for years and years.

  • Brandi Michelle

    SO good- thank you!

    • David Murray

      Thanks, Brandi.

  • Josh Parham

    I don’t know how I dishonored marriage by entering into it at the age of 19.

    • David Murray

      I’m sure you didn’t, Josh. I was referring to people entering into marriage before they were mature enough. I’ve also known 18 year olds who were mature enough for marriage.

  • Nathan

    I hate this because I see it as conceited.

  • Rebecca

    The Bible does not speak of “appropriate ages” for marriage in the same way that #4 does. In fact, one could argue that it does not really address the issue at all. Certainly one could make an argument against child marriages, but that is not likely an issue in the cultures and societies of most of those reading this blog. To my knowledge, he Bible never hints that one should not marry past a certain age, lest they dishonor marriage.

    Perhaps the author meant to say that one should not marry too hastily, on a whim, or that men should not string along women in pseudo-marriage relationships while delaying the actual marriage.

    It would be far better to turn this into the point whose omission is glaringly obvious but, sadly, not surprising if the author of this blog is Protestant:


    It is exactly on that point that most of us, as Protestants, have failed miserably. We can’t even agree on what the “right reasons” are. Instead, we quibble over cost of wedding ceremonies and cultural gender roles. The marriages we are defending are, all too often, not as worth defending as we would like to think.

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  • Catie Lobbezoo

    Very good, thanks! Had some questions about #4, as I got married at age 19, but reading your responses to others’ concerns cleared it up for me. :)

  • Andrea

    Thank you for the article! I thought it was excellent.

  • Linda

    Hello David, I really appreciated this article. I do have a question with respect to point #4 – how young is too young to marry? In our congregation, where we have a sizeable number of young adults, we’re seeing more and more marry in their teens – 18 & 19 year olds, for example. We have 3 daughters, one of whom is 16. She is not allowed to date (or should I say “court”? – not sure what is politically correct!) yet, but we’re not sure when the appropriate time should be to allow her to do so, let alone consider marriage! Thankfully, she is fine with our wish, so far, anyway. We don’t wish to be overbearing but, in our view, marriage is such a serious (and long) commitment, we don’t think it should be rushed into. My view is that our daughters should complete their education and establish themselves career-wise. Then, should they ever marry, they would have something to fall back on should their husband die, or become unemployed. Perhaps many will disagree with this. Also, my husband and I married late by Christian standards – early 30′s; but neither of us became believers until our late 20′s – we’re both thankful the Lord made us both wait.

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