London School of Economics researchers have found that women are twice as likely to snoop on their man’s digital habits than the other way around. The Daily Telegraph reports that:
13% read his texts
10% check his Web-surfing history An Aussie survey found that one in three cellphone users are text-message snoops, with most of them doing it while their partner was in the shower!
And 73% of Aussie wives who checked their husband’s texts found out things they wish they hadn’t. Only goes to show once again, that there’s really nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 7:21). But as CNN’s Netiquette column notes, sometimes the e-espionage is accidental:
You grab your girlfriend’s phone to check the time — and bam, there’s a text from her ex-boyfriend. You crack open your daughter’s laptop to show her a Flickr album — kapow, there’s her friends-only Blogspot in fully accessible glory. You surf to Gmail the day after your friend used your computer, and hello, friend’s inbox.
So if you want to snoop, have snooped, or wish you hadn’t snooped, what now? Netiquette proposes three rules to keep our consciences clear and and our relationships healthy:
1. Don’t click on anything
The second you make a move to read the rest of the text or scroll to see more of the illicit e-mail, you’ve gone from the snooping equivalent of manslaughter to murder.
Everyone’s favorite cat-killer (curiosity, that is) is a powerful force, but for most of us it’s not potent enough to compromise our personal moral codes. So if you’re just dying to check a certain relation’s browsing history or e-mails or texts, there are likely some real-life red flags that are bugging you….So man up and ask him or her about it. 3. Know when to call yourself out
What’s making you feel all squirmy? Are you bothered by the fact that you saw something that wasn’t meant for you, or by the content of what you saw? ….Take a deep breath, and reveal exactly what you were doing (grabbing her phone to find Tommy’s number, as requested), exactly what you saw (Was that a MySpace shot of a dude with his shirt off?!), and exactly how it’s making you feel.
I would add two more recommendations. First, install Covenant Eyes and make your husband or wife (a parent, friend, or pastor if unmarried) your accountability partner for your browsing habits. Second, have an open access policy with all digital devices. That means that your wife or husband can use all your digital devices at any time, that he/she has passwords to all your accounts for Twitter, Facebook, email, etc., and that you encourage regular checking. That’s not snooping. That’s Biblical wisdom.