James Clear’s  first three laws of behavior change—make it obvious, make it attractive, and make it easy—increase the odds that a behavior will be performed this time. The fourth law of behavior change—make it satisfying—increases the odds that a behavior will be repeated next time. It completes the habit loop. Clear’s fourth law is, “What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided.”

And here’s where we run into a major problem, because most good habits come with an immediate cost or loss, whereas most bad habits come with an immediate reward or gain. Bad habits have an immediate reward and long-term costs (e.g. eating lots of chocolate), whereas good habits have an immediate cost but long term reward (e.g. dieting).

Indeed, success in nearly every field requires is to ignore an immediate reward in favor of a delayed reward. That’s why, “People who are better at delaying gratification have higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, and superior social skills.”

So, what do we do? How do we use Clear’s fourth law? We can ignore it and simply push on through the immediate pain in hope of perseverance until we get the long-term gain. We can do this in the strength of God, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to sustain, support, and strengthen us through the pain until repentance and obedience does pay off in the long-term. We can trust God’s promises of blessing upon obedience and tough it out by his grace. That’s certainly an option, and sometimes it’s the only option.

However, at least in some cases, might we not incorporate Clear’s suggestion to help us wait for ultimate gratification: “Add a little bit of immediate pleasure to the habits that pay off in the long-run and a little bit of immediate pain to ones that don’t.”

“Heresy!” you charge. “Is the Holy Spirit not enough?” Do we need to add Habit science to the Holy Spirit?

Well, consider a couple of immediate pleasures and immediate pains that Clear has in mind (you can think up others I’m sure):

Immediate reward: A habit tracker that provides visible evidence of success and progress.

Immediate punishment: An accountability partner or a habit contract that adds a social cost to bad behavior.

Obviously, these means could be, and often are, used independently of the Holy Spirit. But acknowledging that some of us need all the help we can get, is it not possible that the Holy Spirit can use these immediate rewards and punishments to help us to change out habits for the better? can we not pray:

“Lord I’m weak. I wish I could do what’s right just because it’s right. But often I don’t. I wish I could do what’s right because the Bible says it will pay off at the end. But I confess, even that ideal doesn’t change me. I’m weak and my ideals don’t match my reality. So, please see my desire to change. But also see my weakness. And bless my habit tracking and accountability to provide immediate reward for good and immediate punishment for wrong, and so make long-term changes in my life and character. Glorify your name as I look to you to do what I cannot do. And all for Jesus sake. Amen.”

See more Atomic Habits posts here.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Blogs

Raising Future Husbands and Wives
“There’s a myth out there that is ruining marriages and probably reducing the number of marriages as well. It’s the myth that we can spend our childhood and adolescence putting our personal success before our need of personal character development and the needs of our future families. A selfless habit of mind will not suddenly appear in marriage. There’s a myth that if we meet Mr. Right or Ms. Perfect and exchange vows at the altar, magic marriage dust will fall upon us both, and we will walk out of that service transformed into selfless people, ready for the real-life demands of marriage. There is no magic marriage dust. We walk out of the service with the same deeply entrenched habits and dispositions that were rooted in our heart when we walked in. Only now, we have so much more responsibility. As parents of future husbands and future wives, perhaps we should think less about training up gifted standouts and focus more on training up men and women who will be prepared to succeed where Tiger Woods fell short.”

Cancer and God’s Sovereignty
“Everything changed when I received a cancer diagnosis on the day before my thirty-fourth birthday. The biopsy revealed a rare and aggressive cancer called angiosarcoma, and the five-year survival rate was not encouraging. I knew I might not live long enough for my eighteen-month-old daughter to remember me. Over the months of treatment and years of survivorship since that day, I’ve wrestled with God’s sovereignty. I don’t question the truth of His rule and reign over all things. I’m grateful that He provided a solid biblical understanding of His character before the phone call came. But I’ve often struggled to find lasting comfort from God’s sovereignty as I look ahead at an uncertain future for my family and me.”

Man says emotional support alligator helps his depression
I‘m not recommending this, but….

Joie Henney, 65, said his registered emotional support animal named Wally likes to snuggle and give hugs, despite being a 5-foot-long alligator. The York Haven man said he received approval from his doctor to use Wally as his emotional support animal after not wanting to go on medication for depression.

Come to me and rest
“Just rest, child of God. Just rest. One day in seven. Silence those voices that tell you that 6 days and 24 hours a day are not enough. He knows you are dust, and need a rest. Buy a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and take a day. No dishes. No cooking. No cleaning. And just rest. Stop. God gave this day to you, so that you would know that your Father loves you and knows that you are finite, weak, and human. Your bones need rest. You need rest. Just stop. One day. Not a work that you do to earn God’s favor, but just stop and rest in his love. He sanctifies you.”

Church Budget Matters That Matter
“As congregations look at their budget it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the sum total. But every dollar that appears there, is a dollar that can glorify God. No wonder the Lord Jesus said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).”

God’s Purposes for Suffering in Ministry (Part 1)
“2 Corinthians 4:6-18 gives us ten redemptive purposes for suffering in ministry. Today we will consider five purposes for suffering in ministry addressed in verses 6-13 and Part 2 will discuss five additional purposes found in verses 14-18.” And here is Part 2

Different Mega-Church: Same Old Scandal
This is powerful writing about the nature of power, and it applies not just to megachurches. Be warned that there is one mis-use of the world “hell.” That usually rules out a link on Check out, but this subject is too important and this insight so vital that I’m making a rare exception:

“We can’t just speak fearlessly into “that culture out there”, we must be able to speak fearlessly into “this culture in here”.   But as long as the “that culture out there” is nameless and faceless, it’s fairly easy to fight with.  This culture in here that we know and whose champions we know by first name? Not quite so much.”

3 lessons about mental illness for the sufferer and caregiver
“Loving someone with mental illness has taught me to show grace, compassion, empathy, and patience, giving me the opportunity to be a reflection of the character of Christ in the midst of difficult life circumstances. ”

Kindle Books

The J. H. Bavinck Reader $3.99.

Revelation: The Lectio Continua: Expository Commentary on the New Testament by Joel Beeke $2.99.

Ordinary: Sustainable Faith in a Radical, Restless World  by Michael Horton $2.99.

Blogs

3 lessons about mental illness for the sufferer and caregiver
“Loving someone with mental illness has taught me to show grace, compassion, empathy, and patience, giving me the opportunity to be a reflection of the character of Christ in the midst of difficult life circumstances.”

Theology for the Teen Years
“Despite the fact that my generation is the least religious generation in US history, God is at work among my peers. He is using faithful churches, pastors, and parents to give us clarity in the midst of a blindingly confusing culture. All throughout history, some of the biggest explosions of conversions and gospel work have happened among students. That could happen again today.”

Seven Questions to Ask Your Daughter’s Boyfriend
“I do not have a daughter, but I do have a sister. A sister who recently got engaged. Before she got engaged, her then-boyfriend and I had a conversation. My latent CIA interrogation skills, like my now-father-in-law’s almost two years ago, kicked into gear. I wanted to protect my sister, and to get to know and encourage the man who was already contemplating proposing. I wanted her best in the Lord, and his. By no means are the questions I came up with exhaustive. And some might be better suited at different times throughout the relationship (before the first date, or as the relationship becomes more serious, or before engagement, or after). I asked these questions before the proposal, and I pray they serve as a good starting place for other brothers (and even fathers) as they sit down to talk with a young man pursuing one of our treasured women.”

An Open Letter to the Parent of a Strong-Willed Child
“”I’ve heard parents say things like, “I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options. No approach seems to work. I’ve tried praying with him. I’ve tried appealing to his conscience. I’ve tried time-outs, and various consequences. . . and it just seems like things don’t get better, but worse. I’m very weary and discouraged. And weary. Did I mention weary?”"

Self-Control, the Leader’s Make-or-Break Virtue
“I’m convinced that the vast majority of leaders whose ministries implode because of a moral failing started on their path by neglecting their relationship with God. Estranged from God’s Spirit, the fruit of self-control eventually withered in their lives. One of the cruel ironies of ministry is that it’s easy to nurture other people’s souls while neglecting your own. If you’re not careful you can get to the place where you only talk to God when you’re praying in public and only open God’s Word to prepare to teach. Don’t be that leader. Make intimacy with the Father your number-one concern. Your life—and the lives of those you lead—depends on it.”

Preaching in a Mild State of Panic
“As one who has been teaching preaching to seminary students for over a decade I know that many (most?) approach using their preaching notes in a way that is detrimental to their preaching.”

Redemption Accomplished & Applied
PCRT conferences in Grand Rapids and Philadelphia.

Puritan Documentary

Books

I want to highly recommend Broken Pieces and the God who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through the Eyes of a Mother which Westminster books has for sale at $9.00. My endorsement:

“The most honest and deeply moving Christian book I’ve read in a long time. Simonetta opens up her broken heart to show us the painful darkness and agonizing tragedy of serious mental illness. But she also opens the door of hope and help for other families by sharing the hard-won knowledge and resources she discovered both in the common grace of God and in the church of God. May this book transform her beloved son Jonathan’s death into life for many others.”

Living Life Backward: How Ecclesiastes Teaches Us to Live in Light of the End  by David Gibson $2.99.

Taking God At His Word: Why the Bible Is Knowable, Necessary, and Enough, and What That Means for You and Me by Kevin DeYoung

Experiencing the Trinity: The Grace of God for the People of God by Joe Thorn $1.59.

“When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do. You’ll find that nearly any habit can be scaled down into a two minute version.” James Clear, Atomic Habits, 161.

The idea here is to make  habits as easy as possible to start, with the hope that once we’ve started doing the right thing, it will be easier to continue doing it. Examples of creating a two-minute rule are:

• “Read before bed each night” becomes “Read one page.”
• “Study for class” becomes “Open my notes.”
• “Run three miles” becomes “Tie my running shoes.”
• “Write a book” becomes “Write one paragraph.”

However difficult the following steps and minutes, the first couple of steps and minutes should be made as easy as possible. We’re trying to find a gateway habit that naturally leads us down a more productive path (162).

The two-minute habit is a ritual that opens up a door to a harder and larger habit. You can’t improve a habit that doesn’t exist. Clear says:

“The more you ritualize the beginning of a process, the more likely it becomes that you can slip into the state of deep focus that is required to do great things” (163).

Instead of focusing on the end goal, we focus on the first two steps until that becomes easy, then the next two steps, and so on.

I appreciate the practical realism of Clear’s book. He recognizes how hard it is for people to change. Yet he doesn’t just give up. He issues a challenge: “Nearly every life goal can be transformed into a two minute behavior.” Whatever Everest you are facing, ask yourself, “What two-minute behavior would get me started?”

Surely pastors can learn from Clear’s “pastoral” heart. We must empathize with human weakness. But we must also challenge people to change, big change. However, we must also give them the practical guidance. What are the first two steps or the first two minutes, if they are ever to meet these challenges and make these changes?

I’ve found that Christians are often frustrated that pastors and teachers either do not issue big enough challenges to change, or demand change without giving any help how to get there. Although in a secular framework, Clear provides a template that balances both big challenges and small changes.

So, pastors and counselors, let’s welcome Clear’s challenge and provide for our hearers and counselees with the two-minute behavior or inner process that will help them towards biblical life-goals, especially that of conformity to Christ.

See more Atomic Habits posts here.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

The difference between a good day and a bad day is often 3-5 productive and healthy choices made at decisive moments.

We make hundreds of decisions every day but there are three or four that determine so many of the following ones. Have a look at this graphic from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, to illustrate the point:

We all start on the left side as soon as we get out of bed, and the decision we make there will have a huge influence whether our day will be a good one or a bad one. And there are a few other strategic decisions, that can have disproportionate impact on the rest of our day.

Clear compares these decisive moments to entrance ramps to a highway. Once we take that ramp, we are “locked in” for a number of miles before we can get off again. It may be a decision that only takes a few seconds to make, but it shapes the actions we  take for many minutes and even hours to come. Clear puts it like this:

“The difference between a good day and a bad day is often a few productive and healthy choices made at decisive moments…these choices stack up throughout the day and can ultimately lead to very different outcomes.” (161)

Another illustration is of walking into a restaurant; our options are constrained by what’s available in that restaurant.

This is why mastering these 3-5 decisive moments in our day is so important. These little habitual choices, often made without much thinking, “stack up, each one setting the trajectory for how you spend the next chunk of time” (161).

As I’ve reflected on this I’ve identified five decisive moments in my day. These are my on-ramps that determine the road I follow and whether I end up at a good day or a bad day:

1. When I wake up, do I look forward to the day with joy in God or do I look ahead with dread and fear?

2. Do I read my Bible and pray before checking email, the news, social media?

3. Do get to work as soon as I sit at my desk or do I allow myself to be distracted by the latest political news and opinions?

4. Do I shut off my mind and devices from work when I come home in the evening in order to give myself entirely to my family, or do I attempt to be half at home and half in cyberspace.

5. Do I get to bed no later than 10pm after a period of non-digital wind-down or do I just go to bed when I feel like it?

The more we can identify our on-ramps and make conscious decisions to take the right ones at the right time, the more likely we will end at the top of that graphic rather than the bottom.

And, of course, if we take wrong turn, we can ask God for forgiveness and grace to get back on track. He can turn the worst choices around and give us a good day even after the worst of choices. Where bad decisions abounded, there did good days much more abound. But we shouldn’t presume upon that two days in a row!

See more Atomic Habits posts here.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

“Much of the battle of building better habits comes down to finding ways to reduce the friction associated with our good habits and increase the friction associated with out bad ones.” James Clear, Atomic Habits, 155.

James Clear’s four laws for creating a good habit are:

• The 1st law (Cue): Make it obvious.
• The 2nd law (Craving): Make it attractive.
• The 3rd law (Response): Make it easy.
• The 4th law (Reward): Make it satisfying.

Conversely, his laws for breaking bad habits are:

• Inversion of the 1st law (Cue): Make it invisible.
• Inversion of the 2nd law (Craving): Make it unattractive.
• Inversion of the 3rd law (Response): Make it difficult.
• Inversion of the 4th law (Reward): Make it unsatisfying. (54)

Over recent weeks, we’ve been undertaking analyzing the first two steps with a view to applying Clear’s teaching to sanctification, a large part of which is breaking bad habits and forming good ones. In today’s post we start looking at the third step, Response. Having made a good habit obvious and attractive, how do we make it easy to accomplish?

This is not just about doing easy things. It’s about making it as easy as possible in the moment to do what is right and good. Clear’s rationale is that if we can make good habits more convenient, we’ll be more likely to follow through on them. We’re trying to achieve more with less effort, so that doing the right thing is easier than doing the wrong thing. As Clear says:

“Much of the battle of building better habits comes down to finding ways to reduce the friction associated with our good habits and increase the friction associated with our bad ones.” (155)

So we are looking for two things: ways to make the good easier and ways to make the bad harder. How can we add oil to good and how can we increase friction to the bad?

One of the best ways of doing this is to re-arrange our environment so that it will oil the good and make the bad squeak. Clear’s examples of oiling are:

• Buy a selection of cards (birthday, thank you, graduation, sympathy), so that it’s easy to send when needed.
• Layout exercise clothes the night before your morning run.
• Chop up fruit and veg for an hour and put them into bags so that you can grab a ready-made bag each day of the week.

Some examples of adding squeaks are:

• Unplug TV and remove batteries so that it’s harder to just turn it on and vegetate.
• Leave your phone in another room when working.
• Delete email and social media apps from your phone.

We’d all love to believe that with strong enough cues and cravings, that will be enough to motivate good habits. Clear, though, recognizes that the flesh can be weak even when the spirit is strong. We therefore need all the oil and squeaks we can get to help us.

Where do you need oil and where do you need squeaks? Or, are you maybe adding oil and squeaks in the completely wrong places?

See more Atomic Habits posts here.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones