This is a guest post from Dr. Heath Lambert, Executive Director as the Association of Biblical Counselors. Heath is responding to a series of articles I wrote in reviewing his book, A Theology of Biblical Counseling. When I offered Heath an opportunity to respond he agreed to do so and requested that I send him some of the questions I posed. I sent him the first few questions I raised to get the dialogue started. I’m grateful for Heath’s willingness to engage, especially in the midst of a busy schedule. I’ve put my questions in blue, and Heath’s responses in black.

Heath’s Introductory Statement

I am grateful for the opportunity to respond to some of the questions that David Murray has posed about my book, A Theology of Biblical Counseling: The Doctrinal Foundations of Counseling Ministry.  I wrote this book because I think the theological foundations of counseling ministry are crucial, and must be carefully considered by the Christian community. David’s interaction with my book on his blog indicates that he is as serious about that consideration as I am.  I pray that my answers to some of his questions advance a more thorough understanding of these issues that I know we both want.

His gracious offer allowing me to respond to a selection of his questions directly on his website is a demonstration of his Christian charity and his authentic desire for dialogue.  I am grateful that he would extend this opportunity to me.

David’s Question

The format is (1) A quotation from your book, (2) Questions, (3) Suggested clarification. I hope the suggested clarifications will prove constructive. 

Quotation 1: “Theology is what the whole Bible teaches us today about any given topic” (12). Therefore, “when we pay careful attention to every relevant passage in the Bible on a topic, we should know what God has revealed to us about that topic” (13). 

Question #1: “Is there any revelation outside of the Bible? If so, how is that consistent with these statements? 

Suggested Clarification: “When we pay careful attention to every relevant passage in the Bible on a topic, we should know what special revelation (or “spiritual truth”) God has given us about a topic.”

Heath’s Response

As I made clear in the immediate context of this quote, I did not endeavor to utilize any creativity in my definition of theology.  The definition in this quotation is the definition of theology used by Wayne Grudem and John Frame.  These are two luminaries in two different evangelical traditions (Baptist and Presbyterian) who have each influenced untold numbers of people with their teaching on biblical doctrine.  It is significant that two individuals in two different Christian communities agree on the definition of theology.  I saw no reason to innovate, and no way to improve on these straightforward definitions, so I merely borrowed.

Grudem and Frame believe, along with faithful systematicians since the Reformation, that God has revealed himself outside the Bible in the world through general revelation.  They believe this because the Bible teaches it (e.g.,Rom 1:18-23).  I believe this as well.  That is why I unpack the concept of general revelation throughout my book (especially in Chapter 3) and devote an appendix to it (Appendix B).

Most faithful Christian theologians since the Reformation have believed theology to be an investigation of the biblical text.  Grudem and Frame clearly operate within this tradition.  My use of their definition demonstrates my agreement with them, and so I did not believe an adjustment was in order.

David’s Questions

Quotation 2: “God knows what is wrong with us and diagnoses the problem in the Bible. God prescribes a solution to our problems – faith in Christ — and reveals him to us in the Scriptures” (17). 

Question 2a. Does “problems” here mean all problems (such as autism, or those you mentioned a bit earlier — employment problems or choosing a college).

Question 2b. Is God’s prescribed solution (singular) to our problems (plural) always simply “faith in Christ”?

Question 2c. Is this the only solution to all our problems, as a following sentence seems to indicate: ““There is no other solution to our problem and no process of change other than the one God has provided” (17)?

Suggested Clarification 2: “God knows what is primarily wrong with us — sin — and that the solution to (and process of change for) our sin problems is repentance and faith in Christ.”

Heath’s Response

As with the previous question, the isolation of this short quote from the immediate context makes it harder to understand what I’m trying to say.  This quote is the third sentence under a heading which reads: “Counseling Is Theological.”  The first two sentences say, “Understanding that counseling requires some vision of life is crucial to understanding the theological nature of counseling.  The reason is that such a vision of reality is always theological.”  These statements are right in the middle of a larger section where I am defining counseling and explaining the elements of it.  I am clearly talking about counseling here.  Understanding that contextual reality helps to answer the questions.

So to answer the first question, no, “problems” here does not mean all problems because I am not talking about all problems.  I am discussing counseling problems.  The reason I used examples like employment problems and choosing a college (to mention a few of the examples I listed) is because they are counseling problems, which was the subject at hand. I did not raise the issue of autism because autism is not, properly speaking, a counseling problem.  I do not, of course, mean to indicate that there would never be issues in the life of an autistic person that could benefit from counseling.  That is not true.  I mean that it is not the task of counseling to solve the problem of autism.

While the grace of Jesus will ultimately heal all physical problems in the next life through faith in him, we must be careful here not to mix obviously physical issues, which are the prerogative of medical professionals and other experts with the kinds of problems that counselors deal with in their work.  Because these issues are of such crucial importance I spent the larger portion of a chapter on them (Chapter 7) and deal with crucial issues about the matter in two appendixes (Appendix A and C).

David’s second question is even more tricky.  What makes it so complicated  is the addition of his word “simply” to my words.  It is one thing to say that God’s solution to our problems is faith in Christ.  It is another thing to say that this solution is simple.  Faith in Christ is the large master category that needs to be pressed down into a thousand different details in the lives of individuals struggling with countless problems.  If faith in Christ were simple I could have quit writing the book after I wrote that sentence.  But there are 318 pages that follow where I introduce readers to actual counselees who struggle with pain in the midst of broken marriages, homosexual lust, bitterness and heartbreak after rape, overwhelming sorrow in the death of a son, nagging worry, cutting, and more.  Each of my counselees in the book would agree that they changed by faith in Christ.  They would disagree that it was simple.  This is also the reason the Bible is not just one page, and not even one book, but is a collection of 66 books.  God takes dozens of authors writing across many centuries in numerous cultures to show the world how his solution to our problems—faith in Christ—gets worked out in the painful complications of a zillion details.

So I think I want to insist that God’s solution to our problems is faith in Christ.  But, I also try to show in the larger context of the book that this faith is often complex and not usually simple.

The final question concerning the quotation that there is, “no solution to our problem and no process of change other than the one God has provided” is also clearly a reference to counseling.  The position that I advance throughout the book is that God wrote the Bible to be about the problems we face in our lives before him.  These are the kinds of problems that motivate people to look for counseling.  The Bible’s own testimony is that it is a lamp unto our feet and light unto our path in the midst of a dark world that plagues us with apparently limitless problems (Ps. 119:105).  If God has gone to incredible effort to explain his solutions to our problems in living then I do believe it is unfaithful and unhelpful to pursue other solutions.

But I think David may be on to something with his question about this statement.  Now that I’ve been pressed I would be forced to agree that there are other solutions to our counseling problems.

The example I always think of here is the one of my mother who was addicted to alcohol for decades.  She was a promiscuous, dishonest, and violent woman.  In God’s common grace she sobered up through the work of Alcoholics Anonymous.  After her encounter with AA my mom was sober, but she was still mean, she still slept around, and she was still at war with God. If she were alive today, she would tell you that AA taught her to be a more successful worshiper of herself.  She did not really change until she accessed God’s special grace by repenting of her sins and placing her faith in Christ.  And she would deny that this was simple.  I think she rather believed it was the hardest thing she ever did, and working out the implications of this faith in the details of her life took years.

So with this in mind I would revise the statement.  There are, in fact, other solutions that lead to change, but these do not lead to changes that honor God.  The statement would be more accurate if I had written, “There is no ultimate solution to our problem and no faithful process of change other than the one God has provided.”

Blogs

Emailing in an Academic Context
Helpful for both professors and students, indeed for all email communications.

How does a pastor deal with awkward silence with visiting folks?
Brian Croft offers guidance for those dreaded moments.

The FAQs: The World Vision Gaza Scandal
“The manager of the Gaza branch of World Vision has been arrested by Israeli law enforcement and charged with funneling about $43 million to the Islamist militant group Hamas. The manager, Mohammad El Halabi, is also accused of having specifically infiltrated World Vision for the purpose of reaching an influential position from which he could provide funds and resources for Hamas militants.”

God Filled Your Bible with Poems
You’ll be surprised at how much of your Bible is poetry.

Five Hand Gestures to Make You a Better Public Speaker
Basic but some don’t even get to the basics. And here’s one on Donald Trump’s hand gestures.

Help Reform Worship In Brazil
A GoFundMe page to translate one of Danny Hyde’s books in Portuguese.

Kindle Books

Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper $0.99.

Ordinary: Sustainable Faith in a Radical, Restless World by Michael Horton $3.99.

On Guard: Defending Your Faith with Reason and Precision (Student Edition) by William Craig $3.99.

Yesterday we looked at some of the symptoms and character traits of controlling people. But what are the deeper underlying causes? Unsurprisingly for a secular book that pays tribute to Freud, Mallinger traces the roots to one’s parents. However, in this case, he’s probably on to something, at least as a partial answer. He says the most common scenario he hears in his practice from obsessives and controllers is:

A parent whose love seemed conditional, tied to such things as how well they performed, and how “good” or capable they were. Because they also perceived their parents as critical, negativistic, and hard to please, these bright, sensitive children felt caught in a no-win situation, never feeling that they were good enough—never feeling secure. (7)

Mallinger does allow that this is based on the reporting of controlling types, and that this may simply be the way they perceive their parents. However, it’s too common a narrative to dismiss altogether, and it also makes sense that such parenting would often result in these traits being internalized by children.

Many of Mallinger’s obsessive patients did not feel liked by one or both parents. They’d tried to be good kids but were either not appreciated or frequently criticized. Nothing was ever good enough. The resulting feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and longing to be liked, engendered perfectionism, caution, drivenness, and other obsessive traits.

Moving on from the parental cause, Mallinger then identifies genes. Some kids are just perfectionist, picky, cautious, etc. from birth. They seem to have a constitutional pre-disposition to obsessiveness that is then often multiplied by early childhood experiences.

Christian Qualifications and Additions

These are helpful observations for understanding how such traits can develop, and should increase our compassion and understanding for such sufferers. However, as Christians with Calvin’s spectacles, we have to go further in three ways. First, we have to say that even if the causes have parental or genetic components, we must believe that the Word of God and the Holy Spirit have a necessary and important role to play in conditioning how we react to our parental or genetic inheritance. We are still responsible for seeking spiritual resources to re-condition or overcome our responses to such social or physical factors. (In extreme cases, this may be in combination with meds.) Hopefully we can explore what this looks like in further posts.

Second, there can also be spiritual causes such as a failure to trust in the sovereignty of God, refusal to accept one’s fallenness, denial of the world’s imperfection, or just plain pride and man- (and woman-) pleasing.

Third, we have to adjust our parenting so that we do not cause such problems for our children (and repent if we have). It’s hardly surprising in an age of hyper-achieving children (and parents) that there’s a growing epidemic of mental disorders in our kids. Mallinger speaks of the need for unconditional love. Unfortunately, for him that means simply accepting virtually everything our kids say and do. However, without going to that extreme, I’m sure it would help many of our kids to know that their parents love them regardless of their GPA. We might be sparing them a lifetime of misery.

The Controller’s Engine Room 

Regardless of whether the causes are psychological, biological, or spiritual, the engine room of a an obsessive is a constant effort to control everything in the world around them (and inside them). It’s an attempt to guarantee security; to assure safe passage through the risks and uncertainties of living. They somehow think that if they try hard enough they can eliminate risk.

Such behavior can pay handsome dividends, as it tends to produce high-achievers, people who are admired for their self-discipline and organization. However, it comes with a dreadful inner price tag of loneliness, fear, and anxiety. Here’s how Mallinger puts it:

Many obsessives suffer the endless agony of having to do everything well—an unnecessary imperative that can ruin even the most enjoyable of activities. Their fear of embarrassment and appearing less than perfect may keep them from trying new things. They struggle daily under the weight of a massive inner rulebook, an overgrown sense of duty, responsibility, and fairness. Most obsessives rarely taste the joys of the moment; the present hardly exists for them. Even in their time off, many can’t fully relax, or just play. Indeed, they never are really “off.” Worries bedevil them as they plow through life doing the “right” things, hoping that caution, diligence, and sacrifice will pay off—someday. (9)

Does this sound painfully familiar? Tomorrow we’ll look at Mallinger’s diagnostic tool to help us decide if our orderliness has become a disorder.

Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets out of Control by Allen Mallinger.

Blogs

Which Joy Rules Your Heart?
Brian Hedges argues that John Owen was a Christian hedonist. I found this fascinating because I’m presently preparing a paper for a John Owen Conference in the Netherlands. The topic? “John Owen on Human Happiness.” I wouldn’t go so far as Brian in describing Owen as a Christian hedonist–his primary focus is far more on holiness than on happiness–but it is surprising how often he does refer to delighting in God.

Are You A Discouraged Pastor?
“Be very careful what you are using as a ministry evaluator. Some things can be deceptive; not the least of which is our own flesh and cravings for affirmation.”

Five Things Singles Wish Married Couples Knew
“In my experience, I don’t talk much about my singleness for a host of reasons, including protecting myself from unhelpful opinions, trying not to be the token single person, and sometimes it feels like pushing on a bruise. But when someone who is truly a friend brings up singleness, it’s much easier for me to feel like I can be honest with them, and their understanding reminds me of God’s love and attention toward me. So give it a shot! Your single friends will thank you for it!”

How to Lead in the Face of Criticism
Michael Hyatt says that “Criticism is inevitable, especially as your success and business grow.” In this podcast, he provides four foundational truths to remember so you can remain grounded and refuse to take offense.” And on a related topic here’s 4 Types of People Leaders Must Not Listen To.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been surprised at how many times “control” issues have emerged as a major issue in counseling Christians with anxiety and/or depression. (It’s been a major factor in marital counseling too.) As I couldn’t find any Christian books which dealt specifically with this subject, I bought Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control, put on my Calvin spectacles and started reading.

The book emerged out of the challenges and frustrations the author, psychiatrist Allan Mallinger, faced in trying to counsel obsessive people. Like other mental-health professionals, he found “obsessive people often are controlling or cerebral or distrustful or secretive or emotionally constricted or resistant to change or all of the above.”

Yes, they often have many virtues such as being hard-working, reliable, self-controlled, honest, etc. But their striving for excellence in themselves and others makes them too perfect for their own good. As Pascal said: “When we would pursue virtues to their extremes on either side, vices present themselves.… We find fault with perfection itself.” Their perfectionism means that are never at ease with themselves or with anyone else.

By this point, you might be thinking, “Am I looking in the mirror?” Well, here are examples of the kind of person Mallinger has in mind:

• The person so driven to meet professional and personal goals that she can’t abandon herself to a few hours of undirected leisure without feeling guilty or undisciplined.
• The person so preoccupied with making the right choice that he has difficulty making even relatively simple decisions usually regarded as pleasurable: buying a new stereo; choosing where to go on vacation.
• The person so finicky that his pleasure is spoiled if everything isn’t “just so.”
• The “thinkaholic” whose keen, hyperactive mind all too often bogs her down in painful worry and rumination.
• The perfectionist, whose need to improve and polish every piece of work chronically causes her to devote much more time than necessary to even inconsequential assignments.
• The person so intent upon finding the ultimate romantic mate that he seems unable to commit to any long-term relationship.
• The person so acclimated to working long hours that she can’t bring herself to cut back, even when confronted with evidence that the overwork is ruining her health or her family relationships.
• The procrastinator who feels angry at his “laziness”—unaware that the real reason he is unable to undertake tasks is that his need to do them flawlessly makes them loom impossibly large.

One of the primary ways in which the need to be in control (of oneself, others, life’s risks) manifests itself is perfectionism. When control and perfectionism combine, a whole family of personality traits is produced, including:

• A fear of making errors
• A fear of making a wrong decision or choice
• A strong devotion to work
• A need for order or firmly established routine
• Frugality
• A need to know and follow the rules
• Emotional guardedness
• A tendency to be stubborn or oppositional
• A heightened sensitivity to being pressured or controlled by others
• An inclination to worry, ruminate, or doubt
• A need to be above criticism—moral, professional, or personal
• Cautiousness
• A chronic inner pressure to use every minute productively

Mallinger points out that many of these traits are valuable and necessary for success. Problems arise when they become dominant and inflexible – that’s where checklists like this come in helpful.

They’re also useful because one of the greatest difficulties in counseling people with such self-generated anguish is that most obsessives are unaware that they’re harming themselves and others. Few, if any, come and say, “Hello, I’m an obsessive perfectionist with control issues!” Most come for another issue or, most commonly, because a loved one, a colleague, a boss, or a friend has encouraged them to seek help.

Having noted the symptoms, Mallinger says the next step is to trace the underlying cause or causes. I’ll return to that tomorrow, and I’d encourage all parents to tune in.

Blogs

Inside The Head Of Trump Voters
Rod Dreher summarizes and analyzes an important speech on our culture by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt.

7 Pitfalls to Avoid in Preaching
I especially commend avoiding pitfall #7

“Yes, it allows you to express your point exactly as you wish, with carefully chosen words. But does that actually improve communication? Only if the congregation is engaged and list ening. This is precisely the typical problem with preaching from a full manuscript. It tends to create ”bubble preaching,” where the sermon is delivered in a bubble of sorts, cut off from the congregation as the preacher works word-for-word through his manuscript.”

A Christward Anniversary
One of my favorite writers, Nick Batzig, has catalogued his articles at The Christward Collective over the past three years.

Making Changes in a Church
This is Nick’s latest article. And if you try to change things in your church, you’ll also need this post: How Should Leaders React When Attacked?

How Long Is the Average Sermon Series?
How long is the average sermon series? Here are the results of a recent survey by Preaching Magazine.

He Knows Your Sorrows
A beautiful meditation on the comfort of God’s knowledge.

Kindle Books

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.

Marriage Matters: Extraordinary Change Through Ordinary Moments by Winston Smith $1.99.

Out of the Depths: An Unforgettable WWII Story of Survival, Courage, and the Sinking of the USS Indianapolis $1.99.

The Illustrated Life of Paul by Charles Quarles $2.99.

Recommended Book

Not a new book, but new to me. It’s a children’s book.

God’s Names by Sally Michael $12.91.