As I mentioned in 174 Lessons About Pastoral Ministry, the most common regret pastors have as they look back on their ministries is that they didn’t give enough time and attention to their wives and children. To help avoid that have a read of some of these articles that offer counsel to pastors, their wives, and their families.

Pastors And Their Wives

Nine Secrets Your Pastor’s Wife Wishes You Knew – Shattered Magazine

John Wesley’s Failed Marriage (Reprise) | the Cripplegate

True Woman | Thick Skin, Tender Heart, and What Every Pastor’s Wife Needs Most

12 Reasons Pastors’ Wives Are Lonely

What is one of my greatest marriage mistakes as a pastor? | Practical Shepherding

20Schemes » Why A Good Wife Is The Difference Between Success & Failure

6 Ways To Serve Your Pastor’s Wife On Sunday | Ryan Huguley

Battling Discouragement as a Pastor’s Wife – The Gospel Coalition Blog

How Much Should a Pastor Tell His Wife? – The Gospel Coalition Blog

What Pastors Shouldn’t Tell Their Wives | The Heidelblog

What Your Pastor Tells His Wife about You

A Word to the Pastor’s Wife | Crossway

Flourish: An Online Community for Ministry Wives – Trevin Wax

The Pastor’s Wife and Her Primary Ministry – The Gospel Coalition Blog

The Pastor’s Wife Is a Pastor’s Wife – The Gospel Coalition Blog

The Pastor’s Wife Is Simply a Wife | ChurchPlanting.com

What is one of my greatest marriage mistakes as a pastor? | Practical Shepherding

Is There an Office for Pastors’ Wives? | 9Marks

Minister’s wife | Evangelicals Now

eJournal : The Pastor’s Wife: A Position or Juxtaposition? | 9Marks

eJournal : 30 Practical Ways For Pastors to Love Their Wives & Families | 9Marks

How much should a pastor and his wife share with one another? | Practical Shepherding

Her.meneutics: Guarding Your Marriage without Dissing Women

The Pastor’s Wife and Her Primary Ministry – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Seven Things I’ve Learned from Joyous Pastors’ Wives

Pastors And Their Kids

The Pastor’s Kid: My Happy Childhood | TGC | The Gospel Coalition

How Pastors Can Care For Their Children – The Gospel Coalition Blog

How Churches Can Care for Their Pastor’s Children – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Seven Things We Learned from Pastors’ Kids

Pastoring Your Family – Kevin DeYoung

Out of Ur: The Fishbowl, My Friend

Leading the Church While Leading your Family | 9Marks

What are 3 common areas of neglect in a pastor’s life? | Practical Shepherding

7 Things a Pastor’s Kid Needs from a Father – The Gospel Coalition Blog

3 Reflections on Leading Your Family Well – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Embracing the Biblical Tension Between Family and Church Ministry – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Why Family Time is a Pastor’s Job Description | The Cripplegate

How can I make sure I am individually shepherding my children? – The Gospel Coalition Blog

The Pastor’s Kid (1) « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

Preachers’ Daughters (2) « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

Yesterday I suggested that Dr. R C Sproul’s favorite word is “righteousness.” Today I can reveal Matthew Henry’s favorite theme. In the introduction to his beautiful little book, The Pleasantness of a Religious Life, Henry writes:

“In this, I confess, I indulge an inclination of my own; for this doctrine of the pleasantness of religion is what I have long had a particular kindness for, and taken all occasions to mention.”

The book is based on six sermons on why everyone should be a Christian, his text being Proverbs 3:17.

“Her [Wisdom's] ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

Henry asks why the Christian life is called “ways of pleasantness” and gives five possibilities:

1. It’s as if pleasantness were confined to those ways.

2. It’s as if pleasantness were not to be found anywhere else.

3. It’s as if pleasantness were confined to those ways, and not to be found anywhere else.

4. It’s as if pleasantness arose from the innate goodness of the ways themselves.

5. It denotes the superlative pleasantness of the Christian religion: it’s as pleasant as pleasantness itself.

Tomorrow I hope to publish a categorized list of over 400 of the best online resources on pastoral ministry. While putting this together I realized I had collected a number of posts from pastors looking back on their ministries and drawing lessons – 174 to be exact – from their experiences. I’ve included links to these posts underneath (one from a pastor’s wife).

The most repeated lesson in the posts was the need for pastors to give a much greater priority to their marriage and family.

10 Lessons from Andrew Fuller

20 Lessons from Bob Russell

10 Lessons from Sam Storms

35 Lessons from Tom Ascol

6 Lessons from A Rookie Pastor

10 Lessons from Brian Croft 

9 Lessons from Thabiti Anyabwile

8 Lessons from Kyle McClellan

10 Lessons from Thom Rainer’s Research

6 Lessons from Brian Hedges

50 Lessons from a Pastor’s Wife

“If half the breath thus vainly spent in finding fault with our fellow-Christians were spent in prayer and praise, how much happier, how much richer, we should be spiritually!” Charles Spurgeon

The second ingredient of a happy home is generous praise. We previously noted how praising God in family worship produces joy; but praising others does too.

Psychologists and sociologists have found that for every negative or critical comment we make to someone, we have to make three positive comments just to get back to even. That means if we want to grow and deepen our relationships we have to speak four or five times more positive comments to someone for every negative.

Read the rest of this article at HappyChristian.net

Apparently my favorite words in 2014 were “maximize” and “minimize.” How do I know? A member in my congregation playfully told me. Until then I had no idea that I was using these words so much.

As I’ve been reading through a number of R. C. Sproul books recently, there’s one word that reappears again and again. For example, it appears 58 times in in The Holiness of God, and 78 times in Dr. Sproul’s commentary on 1 & 2 Peter. See why I call it his favorite word? And what is it?

“Righteousness.”

Unlike me, however, I believe Dr. Sproul is fully aware of the frequency with which he uses this word. He uses it consciously and deliberately. It’s a calculated decision, I believe, taken partly because of the historical importance of the word in Reformed Theology, but mainly because it is in danger of being forgotten by some and distorted by others. Why is this word so important?

1. “Righteousness” helps us understand the character of God

In The Holiness of God, Dr. Sproul distinguishes between two kinds of divine righteousness: God’s internal righteousness and His external righteousness.

“God’s internal righteousness is the moral excellence of His character. It is rooted in His absolute purity…As a holy God, He is utterly incapable of an unholy act.”

God’s external righteousness is His outward behavior. As what God does is always consistent with who God is, in all eternity God has never done a crooked thing. We never see injustice in God or done by God.

2. “Righteousness” helps us measure sin

God’s internal and external righteousness is the standard we must reach and any shortfall, externally or internally, is sin.

Dr. Sproul challenges us to re-think the deeper implications of the slightest sin. When we sin “we are saying no to the righteousness of God. We are saying, ‘God, Your law is not good. My judgment is better than Yours.’”

3. “Righteousness” helps us understand mercy

When God saves a sinner, He never does it because of the righteousness of the sinner. In Deuteronomy 9:4-6, God reminds the Israelites three times that it wasn’t because of their righteousness that He would defeat the Canaanites.

But neither does He save a sinner at the expense of His righteousness, by setting His righteousness aside. That would be injustice. Dr. Sproul says:

“Mercy is not justice, but it also is not injustice. Injustice violates righteousness. Mercy manifests kindness and grace and does no violence to righteousness. We may see nonjustice in God, which is mercy, but we never see injustice in God.”

4. “Righteousness” helps us understand justification

If  we are not saved by our own righteousness nor by God setting aside His righteousness, how then are we saved?

By Christ’s own perfect righteousness being imputed to us. Only by possessing divine righteousness can we feel at peace in the presence of the God of all righteousness.

“When we put our personal trust for salvation in Christ and in Him alone, then God transfers to our account all of the righteousness of Jesus.”

In His commentary on 1 & 2 Peter, Dr. Sproul is at pains to point out that this is a legal transaction where although no real property is exchanged, the property title is transferred.

“We should never despise that transfer, that imputation of righteousness, that was given to us freely by God when we put our trust in Christ. Because of that, the Father sees His Son, without spot or blemish, when he looks at us.”

 If “righteousness” is Dr. Sproul’s favorite word, “imputation of righteousness” is his favorite phrase.

“There is no doctrine more precious than that of the imputation of the righteousness of Christ to the account of the believer, because the only righteousness by which we will ever be saved before God is the righteousness of Christ.” 

5. “Righteousness” helps us oppose Roman Catholicism

If there’s one thing that motivates Dr. Sproul’s love of the Reformation and his lifelong opposition to Romanism, it’s the difference between Roman Catholic and Reformed views of justification:

“The great debate of the 16^th century came down to two words – infusion and imputation. Rome held that one cannot be declared just by God until or unless justice or righteousness inheres in that person’s soul, whereas the Reformers declared that, according to Scripture, we are justified the moment the righteousness of Christ is transferred to us by faith.”

Because the righteousness of Christ is perfect and never diminishes, there can never be any increase or decrease of a believer’s righteousness.

6. “Righteousness” helps us understand the Christian life

Dr. Sproul concedes that “Justification by faith may be viewed as a license to sin. If we have the righteousness of Christ, why should we worry about changing our sinful ways? Since our good works can’t get us into heaven why should we be concerned about them at all?”

He rightly retorts: “Such questions never ought to pass over the lips of a truly justified person.” He goes on:

“The goal of Christian growth is the achievement of righteousness…In the Christian world today, such a statement may sound radical. Christians hardly ever talk about righteousness. The word has almost become a swear word.”

Dr. Sproul’s special word is a swear word to many Christians. That’s desperately sad. And deadly serious.

“A really happy Christian home is the nearest approach to heaven on earth.” J C Ryle

One of the greatest blessings we can give our children is the cultivation of a happy home. I say “cultivation” because it doesn’t happen automatically; it requires conscious, determined, deliberate effort in a number of areas, starting with joyous family worship. Family worship is usually comprised of three simple elements:

Read the rest at HappyChristian.net