The invisible gorilla

Gorilla

If you were watching a 30-second basketball video and a gorilla appeared on screen for nine seconds, you’d see it, right? Especially if it thumped its chest right in front of the camera! You couldn’t miss it, could you?

Well, Harvard University researchers conducted this experiment and found that 50% of viewers were so focused on the basketball that they missed the gorilla! (Try the video on a few people).

Conclusions: (1) We miss a lot of what goes on around us, and (2) we have no idea that we are missing so much.

In pastoral ministry it’s easy to miss the gorilla. We get so focused on our weekly sermons and our weekly pastoral visitation schedule that large chest-thumping gorillas become invisible to us – until they devour us!

There have certainly been times in my ministry when I’ve had such tunnel vision that I disregarded clear warning signs about impending problems in people’s relationships and situations. And it’s frighteningly easy to see when I re-run the “video.”

So how do we avoid missing the gorillas?

1. However busy and focused on weekly tasks, keep an eye and ear open for anomalies, inconsistencies, and the unusual among your flock.

2. Enlist the help of your elders. If 50% of people miss the gorilla, we greatly enhance our chances of seeing if we double the number of watching eyes. Ask your elders to share their concerns, their instincts, their “feelings” about possible warning signs.

3. Especially trust your wife’s intuition. Research has shown that women were not only more likely to see the unexpected but to investigate it. “Men are much more likely to assume they knew the reason for the unexpected result, and proceed without more analysis.” If your wife has a “hunch” about someone or some relationship it’s worth making some discrete inquiries.

4. Learn from our missed gorillas. Let’s pray that the Lord would open our eyes, make us more sensitive, and increase our pastoral awareness. Let’s not become like some in the experiment who could not be convinced that they were so blind! Even when they were shown the video again, they accused the researchers of switching the tape when they were not looking! There aren’t pastors like that, are there?


Why are winners so miserable?

Who are the happiest people in the world?

Winners?

Sounds about right, doesn’t it.

That’s why we invest so much in team sports; winning the game makes us happy.

That’s why children fight and bicker; beating little sis makes us happy.

That’s why husbands and wives shout at each other; winning the argument makes us happy

That’s why we cut up other drivers; getting in front makes us happy.

That’s why we trample over others on route to the top; winning promotion makes us happy

Winners are happy!

Aren’t they?

They aren’t!

They’re miserable (after the initial victory rush).

And the more they win, the more miserable they become.

Anyone disagree?

So who are the happiest people in the world?

Servants.

Servants enjoy seeing others win.

Servants enjoy being second; they are even happier when last.

They not only preach servant-hood. They do it.

Jesus served with a towel and water, called others to copy his example, and said:

If you know these things, happy are you if you do them (John 13:14-17).


Forgive and remember

Robert Sutton has authored or co-authored five books on management and leadership. The most important idea in his books is: “Failure is inevitable, so the key to success is to be good at learning from it.” In a recent blog he said his key test of leadership is: “What happens after people make a mistake?”

Sutton is especially focused on encouraging invention and innovation, activities that are always accompanied by failure. Professor Dean Keith Simonton’s research into creative geniuses found that, “Creativity is a consequence of sheer productivity. If a creator wants to increase the production of hits, he or she must do by risking a parallel increase in the production of misses. … The most successful creators tend to be those with the most failures!”

Sutton’s conclusion is that if business leaders want to stimulate creativity and innovation, they must create a climate of “forgive but remember.”

While informing your people that “failure is not an option” — in the famous phrase of Apollo 13 flight director Gene Kranz — might be useful on occasion for inspiring exceptional effort and resourcefulness, it sends a dangerously wrong signal. True, no one should choose the option of failure deliberately, but trying especially hard to avoid it means taking no chances on change. The better message to get across is that failure is a by-product of risk-taking, and honest mistakes will be forgiven.

Liberation and motivation
The Bible does not really encourage innovation in our spiritual life or in the church. The desire for novelty is usually associated with an unhealthy spiritual condition. However, Sutton’s message about the creative power of forgiveness, reminds us of the dynamo at the heart of the Christian life. We have a Master who encourages His servants to speak to Him about their doubts and failures, their honest mistakes and their dishonest mistakes, as well as their confidence and successes.

To show how a culture of forgiveness not only liberates but also motivates, Sutton quotes Harvard’s Amy Edomondson’s research into drug treatment errors in hospital nursing units.

To her amazement, the best nursing unit, where the boss encouraged nurses to talk openly about mistakes — and never pointed an angry finger of blame — reported about ten times more errors than the worst, fear-ridden unit. The key word in that sentence is “reported.” When nurses owned up to mistakes in the nasty unit, the leader treated them as “guilty” and “like a two-year old.” The tenfold difference in reported errors was due to psychological safety, not the actual error rate.

Sutton says that “a willingness to forgive is essential on the part of any boss who wants to set group norms that will lead to psychological safety and constant learning.” However, he goes on to argue that we should stop short of “forgive and forget” because “forgiving and forgetting, while temporarily comforting, condemns people and systems to make the same mistake again — sometimes over and over.”

That seems like a reasonable, rational, and logical argument doesn’t it.

Well, thankfully God’s grace is not reasonable, rational, or logical. He does not stop short but time and again reminds us that He not only forgives, but that our sins and iniquities He will remember no more” (Jer. 33:34; Heb. 8:12; 10:17). And there is nothing, nothing, nothing like that to liberate from fear and motivate learning.


Pastoral Picks

Learning to grieve
Go to the Shepherd’s Notes website and scroll down to five moving posts on the kind of bereavement grief experienced by the parents of disabled children. And while we are on the subject, you won’t want to miss Greg Lucas’ latest post on visiting Jake.

Preparing for church
One for distribution at every church door I would think.

Tough-guy Christianity
Who are the real spiritual hard men?

Help, he’s struggling with pornography
Brian Croft has some short simple advice to those caught in this sadly common snare. I’d also highly recommend his little booklet of the same name.

Business and Ministry
Couple of thought-provoking articles on the relationship between business and ministry. Michael Dewalt on What is more important, being a ministry or being a business? and this one on what Pastors and business leaders can learn from one another.