Summary of Chapter Six in The End of Worry: Why We Worry and How to Stop by Will Van der Hart and Rob Waller. Will is a  pastor working in London and Rob is a Christian psychiatrist. Both are recovering worriers.

1. Although we love to be certain about things, we must learn to accept and live with uncertainty.

2. People who worry have unhelpful positive beliefs about worry (see the golden worry beliefs), and unhelpful beliefs about certainty. They maintain worry by setting such high standards for certainty that they are quite unachievable. These include:

• Being uncertain is an unpleasant experience
• You should act only when you are absolutely certain.
• Better safe than sorry
• I can’t be safe when I’m not sure
• If I am sure, then I can predict bad things and so prevent them.

3. These beliefs about certainty create a desire to control any uncertainty, creating more worry when they can’t, and so on.

4. Present contemplation is the gold-standard technique for overcoming worry. Two lesser techniques that will train us for that are “thought records: and “making new appraisals.”

5. “Thought records” help us to recognize the irrationality of worry thoughts and the link between thoughts and feelings. An example of a “thought record” can be seen here. The general format is:

• Situation: The moment when you had a worry thought.
• Mood: Your feelings in response to your worry thought (rate intensity out of 10)
• Automatic thoughts (and images): The thoughts that result from your worry.
• Evidence for: The evidence that supports the likelihood of your worry coming true.
• Evidence against: Evidence that opposes your worry thought.
• Alternative thought: Review original worry in light of the evidence.
• Review and plan: Re-read your original worry and review your mood/feelings (rate intensity out of 10)

Thought records can really help us familiarize ourselves with worry and help us see that most of our worries are poorly founded.

6. “Making new appraisals.” This is a less controlled version of thought records that operates in our thoughts not on paper. It involves the assumption that we are overestimating our worries and starts to consider a range of more probably alternative outcomes and conclusions. We look at our predicament from different angles and produce alternative conclusions.

7. Unhelpful techniques for worry include:

• Trying to get more information. Looking up stuff on the internet usually increases worry and keeps you on the “I-must-be-in-control” treadmill.
• Journaling. Unless you keep it to a couple of paragraphs a day, this can set your mind racing when you are trying to sleep.
• Phoning a friend. This is often a way of avoiding responsibility for decisions and only produces short-term reassurance.
• Alcohol. And any other addiction like shopping, eating, self-harm.

8. Experiment with losing control. Try a mini-experiment by not trying to control what you usually demand control over. Before doing it, predict what will happen. Then write down what did happen. Keep trying this with various control issues until you learn that there really is nothing to worry about.

The End of Worry: Why We Worry and How to Stop by Will Van der Hart and Rob Waller.

Blogs

Columns from Tabletalk Magazine, October 2018
The October issue of Tabletalk addresses the issue of perfectionism, control, and the sovereignty of God.

10 Things You Should Know about Discipling People with Special Needs
God has called us to make disciples of all people no matter their intellectual capabilities.

How can pastors face battles with depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide?
“Do we have evidence in Scripture that men of God suffered through seasons of depression, and even anxiety? Do grief and sorrow have a valid, spiritual place in the life of pastors? What happens when pastors try to suppress pain and depressive impulses in their lives? Is it wrong for pastors to grieve before their people? What spiritual and physical practices might help during times of depression and anxiety? Listen as Brian and Jim discuss these and other questions in this episode.”

Counselor, Comforter, Keeper?
Nick explores the meaning of an important New Testament word.

Kindle Books

Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and an Overcoming Love by Katherine and Jay Wolf $1.99.

The Call: Finding and Fulfilling God’s Purpose For Your Life by Os Guinnesa $1.99.

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung $1.99.

Summary of Chapter Three in The End of Worry: Why We Worry and How to Stop by Will Van der Hart and Rob Waller. Will is a  pastor working in London and Rob is a Christian psychiatrist. Both are recovering worriers.

1. One of the way to stop a worry cycle is to control bodily symptoms.

2. Generalized anxiety order is characterized by:

• Excessive (out of proportion) worry that a person finds difficult to control.
• Lack of confinement to a particular problem, but more a tendency to worry.
• Accompanied by three or more of these symptoms: restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscular tension, and sleep disturbance
• Significant distress, meaning that the worrier can no longer perform as before.

3. The mind is very powerful and literally controls the body. But controlling the body can also help the mind. The two primary ways of using the body to control the mind are controlling breathing and maintaining sleep hygiene

4. Controlling breathing. Most people who worry chronically tend to breathe 20-30 times a minute whereas the norm is 10-15 breaths a minute. This adversely affects our blood chemistry and brain activity. This can be changed by practicing slowing down breathing twice a day.

5. Maintaining sleep hygiene. This is comprised of a number of elements but the most important is a regular bed-time and rise-time.

6. Three common worry cycles.

• What-if Worry: Thinking about all the possible things that could happen next. The more you think, the more worries arise, and the worse it gets. Because we are pro-actively scanning for every possible type of problem, we see lots more problems than the average person sees.
• The Worry Pendulum: Swinging from “Panic” to “Trying not to worry” with no time spent in the middle, the place of uncertainty (which is the place we must try to spend more time in so that we can tolerate uncertainty)
• Worry about worry: Will I spiral out of control if I stop monitoring my worry? However, this monitoring becomes extremely difficult and stressful itself.

 7. Worriers will do almost anything to avoid getting into worrying situations. 

The End of Worry: Why We Worry and How to Stop by Will Van der Hart and Rob Waller.

If you’re looking for a daily devotional that will get you into the text of Scripture, that’s not too long but not too shallow, I’d highly recommend R C Sproul’s Saint Andrew’s Expositional Commentaries. I’ve been going through his volume on Mark’s Gospel and loving it. I learn something new just about every day. Here’s an example of the little bite-size packages of theology you’ll find in every chapter (the sub-headings are mine).

“If we look at the words for “poverty” or “the poor” in the Old Testament, we see that there are four distinct types of people who are poor.

Poor because of Sin
It is true that the first category is those who are poor because they are lazy. They are poor because they will not work and are irresponsible. The Old Testament looks on these people with disfavor and judgment. Likewise, in the New Testament, it is these of whom Paul speaks when he writes, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thess. 3:10).

Poor because of Disaster
In the second category are those who are poor because of calamity, illness, natural disasters that ruined their crops, and other events beyond their control. These people receive the compassion of God, and in His law He declares that those who are better off should make provision for these who are poor through no fault of their own.

Poor because of Oppression
In the third category are those people who are poor as a direct result of the exploitation of the rich and the powerful. In the Old Testament, the rich and powerful were usually not merchants but rulers and other government officials, such as the pharaoh in Egypt or King Ahab in Israel. These poor people have God as their defender, for He refuses to tolerate the exploitation of the weak by the strong. The exodus of Israel from Egypt was an example of God coming to the aid of those who were exploited as slaves. As believers, we, too, must be defenders of those who face exploitation. James tells us, “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world” (1:27).

Poor for the sake of the Kingdom
In the fourth category are those who are poor for righteousness’ sake; that is, they willingly embrace poverty that they might devote themselves to spiritual things and not be distracted by the pursuit of wealth.”

Mark by R. C. Sproul (Saint Andrew’s Expositional Commentary) (pp. 258-259). Reformation Trust Publishing.

Blogs

Leaders, Talk About Power to Protect the Vulnerable
This is such an important article.

Go to Sleep…God Is Awake
“No one really knows why, but sleep is critical to the proper functioning of our bodies and minds. Studies show that sleep deficits slow our thinking, compromise memory, make learning difficult, impair our reaction time, cause irritability, increase anger, decrease capacity for stress, and make us less likely to engage in good habits such as eating well and exercising. Sleeplessness also increases the risk of depression and anxiety. In one study conducted by the University of North Texas, people with insomnia were almost 10 times more likely to suffer from clinical depression and more than 17 times more likely to be affected by “clinically significant” anxiety.”

Failure to Launch Syndrome and Young Men: The Educational Dilemma
“Over the past decade, 30% of male college students have dropped out during their freshman year.”

Make It Easy for Your Kids to Love God: Proverbs for a Happy Home
“Your children need something more than to be fortified against sin. They need to be inspired toward God. Tell them, with all the confidence that Proverbs 8 warrants, of his joyous wisdom across the whole of life. Prove to them, by the very ethos of your home, that the Lord is good. Let them see that faith in you, and the glory of the Lord will be hard for them to resist.”

On Mission at McDonald’s
“Never let your desire to be on mission be connected to a desire to appear cool. Coolness kills mission. It turns our attention to ourselves and how we are perceived rather than to God and the people he wants us to reach.”

10 Crucial Archaeological Discoveries Related to the Bible

Jesus, Take the Control Wheel: Southwest Pilot Saw Flying as Ministry
Great story.

They Call It Narcissism
“Secular literature is most helpful when its descriptions of difficult-to-understand behaviors are coupled with years of experience and when its practical suggestions come close to the wisdom and love we find in Scripture. With the behaviors that are called narcissistic, we know that the Spirit can change us and teach us more about how to love wisely, and we invite all comers to give their ideas on ways to love.”

Kindle Books

Rejoicing in Lament: Wrestling with Incurable Cancer and Life in Christ by J. Todd Billings $1.99.

The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller $1.99.

Unshaken: Real Faith in Our Faithful God by Crawford W. Loritts $3.99.

Supernatural Power for Everyday People: Experiencing God’s Extraordinary Spirit in Your Ordinary Life by Jared C. Wilson $2.99.

Workaholism is probably the most respectable sin in the Christian community, and maybe especially among pastors. In this Harvard Business Review podcast (and transcript) Nancy Rothbard, a professor of management at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, “draws a distinction between workaholism and working long hours. She explains the health consequences of being addicted to your work. She also gives practical advice for managing work addiction, whether it’s you who’s suffering, your direct report, boss, peer, or partner.”

Rothbard provides seven statements and says we should be worried if we often or always do at least four of them.

1. You think of how you can free up more time to work.

2. You spend much more time working than initially intended.

3. You work in order to reduce feelings of guilt, anxiety, helplessness, and depression.

4. You have been told by others to cut down on work without listening to them.

5. You become stressed if you are prohibited from working.

6. You deprioritize hobbies, leisure activities, and exercise because of your work.

7. You work so much that it has negatively influenced your health.

She makes a helpful distinction between working long hours and being a workaholic. Here’s how she puts it.

Bascially, long hours are 50 hours a week or more. So, there are some people who work a lot but they can turn off. They might even work once they get home, but if something is demanding their attention at home or if they, you know, need to go to the gym or they want to hang out with friends, they’re able to do that without ruminating on their work.

[Workaholism is more about] our attitude towards our work: how we think about our work, whether we dwell on it, whether we feel guilty when we’re not working. When you’re a workaholic, the work really looms large in your mind, and it can be really difficult to turn it off, even when you’re not actually working….There’s a strong correlation between working long hours and being a workaholic. So, I mean, you can be a workaholic without working long hours, but typically if you’re a workaholic, you are also working long hours.

See also Rothbard’s article  “How Being a Workaholic Differs from Working Long Hours — and Why That Matters for Your Health.” It has a fascinating section on the how the chronic stress levels associated with workaholism create a whole lot of  health dangers.

Here’s a quick explanation of why: To cope with stress, the body activates several systems (e.g., cardiovascular, neuroendocrine). So say you’re facing an important deadline. As you approach it, your stress hormones (e.g., cortisol), pro- and anti-inflammatory cytokines (e.g., interleukin-6), and blood pressure would likely go up. But after the deadline, these would return to their original levels, known as the “set points.” When you’re working an excessive workload and continually pushing your system beyond its range, you may re-set your set points. Elevated blood pressure may become chronic, and cortisol levels stay elevated. When your biological systems keep working around elevated set points, you have a greater risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD), diabetes, and even death.

In short, the body gets stuck in “fight-or-flight” mode which is ultimately exhausting and unsustainable and often leads to depression.

“But I love my job!”

Well, the researchers found that while loving your job does protect from some of the health risks, you are still at significantly increased risk of ill-health:

We wanted to see if enjoying the work mitigates the negative health effects of workaholism. Looking at the data from our study, we differentiated between workaholics who reported being highly engaged with their work — meaning they enjoyed their work, felt vigorous at work, and got easily absorbed in their work — and workaholics who reported low work engagement. We found that both types of workaholics reported more psychosomatic health complaints (e.g., headache, stomach problems) and mental health complaints (e.g., sleep problems, depressive feelings) than non-workaholics. However, non-engaged workaholics had higher RMS [Risk for Metabolic syndrome] — a 4.2% higher risk — than engaged workaholics.

Rothbard’s solutions?

1. Acknowledge when a relationship to work is unhealthy — when it feels out of control and is undermining outside relationships.

2. Regain control over your work behavior by setting clear rules for how many hours you will work each day.

3. Stop working two or three hours before bed.

4. Take up enjoyable non-work activities, such as seeing friends, watching a movie, reading a book, or learning a new skill, can also help you psychologically detach from work.

5. Reflect on the reasons why you work excessively and compulsively.

On this last point, the two most common reasons I’ve come across (also in my own heart), are idolatry and identity. By identity, I mean finding one’s significance in one’s work rather than in one’s spiritual status as justified and adopted by God through Christ.

To test yourself on this, what’s the first answer that comes to mind when you ask yourself “Who am I?” If your first and loudest answer is anything other than “I am a Christian” then someone has stolen your true identity and substituted a false one.