I think that was the longest blog vacation I’ve ever taken.
Did I miss it?
Yes, I enjoy writing. I especially enjoy the challenge of coming up with something helpful that will serve the church each week day.
But I took the break for a few reasons. First, I was vacationing in Florida with my family for a couple of weeks and I wanted to dedicate more undistracted time to them.
Second, I wanted to pause, take a step back, and think longer-term about how I can make the blog more useful, where I can make the most useful contribution to my readers lives.
Third, I wanted to read. I felt I’d been doing too much outputting and wanted to do more inputting so that I could do better outputting. What did I read? I tried to read a book a day and got through the following list over the past 14 days, some of which were re-reads, by reading about an hour early morning, an hour on the beach, and an hour in the evening.
And if you’re sharp, you should be able to see a connection between all three reasons!
The Thorns and Thistles of this Life | Right With God Another blog from my Dad: “This is a very important subject. It explains so much of why life is the way it is for man. If we try to cope with the difficulties of our daily labour without a biblical understanding of it, we are going to feel quite dissatisfied and discontent in our daily work.”
Women in Combat and the Undoing of Civilization | Denny Burk “Our civilization just took a gigantic leap backward yesterday, though I’m wondering if anyone will notice. Yesterday, Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter removed final obstacles restricting women from serving in combat units in the United States military.”
3 Reasons Your Team Needs Shepherd Leadership “Boss is the term most often used in our culture to represent the authority or leader over you. Boss means a person who exercises control or authority, directing and supervising work. Sometimes, your team does need a boss. The responsibility of leadership will require your direct authority. But, more often, your team needs a shepherd leader.”
Here are some diagnostic questions I ask myself, to press into deeper insight. Is your church a white church where black people are welcome, or is your church a Christian church where all who love Jesus are equally accepted and equally influential? Are the black people in your church receiving and adapting to your church’s culture, or are they, with you, shaping and reshaping your church’s culture? Are there two circles of belonging in your church? Is there an inner circle of “us” and an outer circle of “them” – the latter belonging too, but not in the same way, not with the same embrace, the same identity, the same “us”? Does the “us-ness” in your church need to be broken and re-created, according to the parameters of the one gospel for all sinners who are standing equally on the same footing before the one Savior of all? Or are the unspoken ground rules for the outer circle more demanding than the ground rules for the inner circle? Do the outer-circle members have something to prove that the inner-circle members don’t have to prove? Is there any emotional aloofness dividing your church, or are you loving every member with the same emotional intensity? Finally, are the black members of your church on the same paths of growth and discipleship such that they too are on their way toward becoming leaders, deacons, elders and pastors? Or is it inconceivable that you could receive, rejoice over and submit to a black lead pastor in your church?
A couple of days ago I wrote about the struggle many of us have with “plate-spinning.” A young Christian woman read it and wrote to me with her testimony about how God had helped her to move from a life of stressful plate-spinning to a life of peace and calm. I hope what she has written blesses you as much as it did me.
A couple years ago I came to the realization that my fast paced life and high stress levels were beginning to take a toll on me physically, mentally, and most of all spiritually. My plates were spinning out of control and I desperately needed to slow them down. I began counseling shortly after. During the first sessions, I was very focused on implementing the tools I was given. Little did I realize these tools would become a lifestyle over the next few years. It’s been a long road and here, by the grace of God, are 3 blessings that he has used and is using:
Sunday Worship
Sunday worship became a lot more than simply going to church, it was a taste of an eternal rest. On Sundays I intentionally spend time slowing my mind down. I will often sit in a quiet environment and listen to psalms/hymns for 20-30 minutes. Nothing else but the meditation of scripture through music is filling my mind and I find it helpful as I prepare for worship as well. This may seem a strange way to slow my spinning plates, but each Monday my mind is refreshed with the gospel and relaxed for the tasks of the week.
Morning Exercise
Most often when I mention to someone how this has helped me, they will respond with “Well, you are an athlete so it is easier for you.” Truth is, I still wake up early most mornings to take a short jog. I find it very relaxing and it wakes up my brain allowing me to think more clearly and be more efficient with my day. I’m not so sure about the science behind it, but days when I choose to exercise in the morning compared to those when I don’t, are noticeably different. Our bodies are so complex and fascinating.
Practical Tools
Re-training my mind has been the most difficult and tedious part of it all. On a daily (and even hourly) basis, when I am faced with stressful situations or my mind is going in a thousand directions, one of two phrases will come to mind. The first; “Facts, Thoughts, Feelings” (from a sermon based on Psalm 77) and the second, “Peanut Butter Pie” (Pause, Breathe, Pray). It’s amazing how the Lord has used these two simple mnemonic phrases to change how I approach most everything. Ultimately, it is putting life’s stressors into Kingdom perspective.
How do we calm and control our minds when they are furiously yet pointlessly circling round and round the problems in our lives?
When I was growing up, one of our family traditions on a Saturday evening was to watch the TV game show, The Generation Game, in which families would complete a number of challenges for prize money.
One game I always enjoyed watching was the plate-spinning competition in which the teams would try to get as many plates spinning on sticks for as long as they could. Usually they would manage to get two or three spinning, but when they tried to add a fourth and fifth, the first or second would start to slow and fall off. They’d rush to fix that, only for the fourth and fifth plate to fall off. It was often hilarious to watch the stress building as the timer ticked round and what looked so promising for a time all came crashing down.
Mental Plate-Spinning
Does your mind ever feel like a plate-spinning competition? Mine does. As we get older, problems arise in our families, in our churches, in our workplaces, and in our communities, with each issue adding another spinning plate to our minds. Also, if we are pastors or counselors, people come to us with their own problems, and ask us for help with their spinning plates, adding yet more to our lives. Eventually, we feel as if our minds are in a tailspin as our thoughts jump and dart from one mental stick to another to another, barely stopping long enough to do anything but spin the problem round again before sprinting on to the next issue.
Whether we are in the shower, in the car, in conversation with others, in bed, in church, or in the Bible, it’s so so hard to slow our minds down, to get our thoughts under control, to rest our mental processes, and to get spin-free quiet. Instead it’s often just spin, sprint, spin, sprint, spin, sprint, and so on. And sometimes it feels as if this is about to happen.
So why do we do it? Why do we just keep going round and round the same problems and challenges, just ruminating and revolving, without making any progress, without coming up with any solutions, without any benefit to ourselves or others?
But even more important than the “Why?” question is the “How?” question: “How do we stop this?” How do we slow down our minds, reign in our thoughts, and end the “game” that’s draining our mental and emotional energy, and killing our inner peace and joy?
I’d love to hear your own thoughts on this. What are some of your own thoughts on this common problem when dealing with problems. In the meantime, have a look at some the the following ideas. Some of them are from my own experience, and others have been passed on to me by friends I’ve asked about this over the past couple of weeks.
Margin: I’ve found that I do most of my plate-spinning when I’ve been way too busy. But when I’m not packing as much in, when I’m not rushing around, my mind is much calmer and I don’t get into plate-spinning mode. A key component of margin is getting enough sleep.
Coach: One of my counselor friends told me that he tries to view himself as a coach when helping people with their problems. Instead of taking responsibility for changing the person’s life himself, and getting over-involved, he gives advice and counsel, steps back and then hands responsibility over to the person. He can’t live their life or change their life. Only they can do that.
Homework: Another way my friend avoids spinning other people’s plates is by giving them measurable “homework,” practical changes that are to be implemented by the person seeking help before the next counseling appointments. No further counseling takes place without the homework being completed. Again, this hands responsibility back to the other person.
Transition: One friend told me that when he finishes counseling people, he consciously works at transitioning out of that mode before arriving home. He uses the time in the car to de-compress, to deliberately move his “self-image” from counselor over to husband and father. That helps him to leave the plate-spinning on the highway.
Limit: I’ve learned that I have to limit the number of counseling cases that I take on at any one time. Too many and my mind starts hopping from one issue to another to another, and the insane plate-spinning starts up again. I’ve gotten better at saying “No” when I’m at my limit or delegating it to someone else.
Trust: I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish when I start the mental circuit of problems again. One thing I’m not doing is trusting God, casting all my cares upon Him. It’s easier said than done, of course, but I confess that sometimes I don’t even try.
Acceptance: Some of my mental frenzy is caused by wanting to fix everything as soon as possible and get the problems off my desk and out of my mind. I want all the plates in the cupboard, all neatly packed away – no problems anywhere or with anyone. But that ain’t gonna happen this side of heaven – not if we want to serve others. Accepting that is itself calming and soothing on the mind.
Replace: I can’t stop thinking about problems – my own or others’ – by stopping thinking about problems. I can only stop that when I start thinking about something better – replacing thoughts about troubles with thoughts about blessings, substituting thoughts about broken relationships with thoughts about flourishing relationships, exchanging thoughts about people’s sins with meditation on Bible verses.
Children: For me, there’s no better therapy than my 2-year-old son, Scot. When I walk in the door each evening and hear his silly stories and watch him playing and laughing without a care in the world, the plates and sticks evaporate. Getting down on my knees with him to play trains or build a lego tower is the greatest de-stressor in my life.
I’d love to hear from you, what has helped you to stop the plate-spinning?
A few weeks ago, I was stunned by the beautiful vineyards that filled the Vineland area of the Niagara region in Ontario. So much time, so much money, and so much effort must have been poured into these vines in order to produce the innumerable rich and juicy grape clusters. Beautiful fields full of beautiful vines full of beautiful fruit.
But come with me to the fields of Scripture, especially Galatians 5, where we find trees and fruit that are even more beautiful, even more valuable, and even more useful.
New Fruits
Look closely and you’ll see a tree with new fruit on it. It had fruit before, but not this fruit; in fact, not really worthy of the name “fruit.” Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and many more rotten fruits used to deface this tree.
But now that old “fruit” is withering or has disappeared. In its place you see: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
When we look at a tree and see bad fruit, we conclude it is a bad tree (Matt. 7:17-20). When we look at the same tree and it has good fruit, new fruit, we conclude the tree has changed. There’s not just new fruit but a new tree. This is what God does for His people in regeneration. He doesn’t just change the fruit; He changes the tree.
Spiritual Fruits
In contrast to the old “fruit” which came from sinful human nature, this is fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of the human spirit but of the Holy Spirit. These are fruits produced by the Holy Spirit in the human spirit. They are not produced by human effort but by divine power. They have not been stapled on to a tree, but have come from within, from the work of the Holy Spirit deep in the human spirit.
TRIGGER WARNING: Hurtful and offensive video ahead.
Those of you who watched the video, did you survive? Or was it too traumatic for you?
If so, I’m sorry. Instead, why don’t you watch something much less hurtful and offensive – like, say, 50 Shades of Gray or Reservoir Dogs, or The Life of Brian, or The Last Temptation of Christ?
What am I talking about? Read the full story here, but in summary, the biggest cinema chains in England (representing 80% of all cinemas) have decided to ban a one-minute video showing different people each reciting a line in the Lord’s Prayer because it “could cause offense to those of differing political persuasions, as well as to those of differing faiths and indeed of no faith.” This, despite the advert being passed uncut by the British Board of Film Classification and given a “safe for children” certificate, as well as receiving clearance from the Cinema Advertising Authority.
Even new atheist, Richard Dawkins, says it should be shown, saying, “I strongly object to suppressing the ads on the grounds that they might ‘offend’ people. If anybody is ‘offended’ by something so trivial as a prayer, they deserve to be offended.”
And, wait for it, the assistant secretary general of the Muslim Council of Britain, Shaykh Ibrahim Mogra, said he was “flabbergasted that anyone would find this prayer offensive to anybody, including people of no particular religious belief.”
When was the last time Christians, Muslims, and Richard Dawkins agreed on something? Eh, maybe time for some second thoughts?
Ironically, the advert was scheduled to be screened before the new Star Wars film – a film which has spawned its own religion with 177,000 claiming Jedi to be their religion in the 2011 British census! Apparently, the Jedi religion is fit for the cinema, but the Christian one is not. As Giles Fraser said:
They say that people might be offended by the Lord’s Prayer. But for years now we have been told by secularists that religious people have to stop being so easily offended when their faith is challenged. And I agree. But secularists have to stop being so easily offended too. “Don’t impose your religion on us,” they shout. Well, it’s no more of an imposition than all the other advertisements we have to put up with.
This is a revealing and worrying insight into the anti-Christian prejudices of those who control much of the media in the UK. For too long, the advocates of multi-culturalism and political correctness on both sides of the Atlantic have used their power to silence the Christian voice in the public square. Let’s hope and pray that, as is happening in America, events like these begin to expose the cowardly and bigoted agenda of secular humanism and that Christians will be emboldened to speak out and speak up again.
One thing’s for sure, in God’s good providence, far more people have already the seen the Lord’s Prayer video than ever would have, had the hyper-sensitive censors not intervened. In other words, despite the devil’s rage, God’s kingdom is coming, and God’s will is being done on earth as it is in heaven. “For yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.”
