Anonymous post by a concerned parent.

I’ve learned a lot about grace since being married – mainly in receiving it. But I’ve never learned so much about grace as I have in parenting teenagers – mainly in giving it.

  • The grace to love them when they don’t want to be loved.
  • The grace to love when they are not very loveable.
  • The grace to keep giving when it seems I can never give enough.
  • The grace to keep giving when there’s no giving in return.
  • The grace to forgive when I know the sin will be repeated again…and again.
  • The grace to ask forgiveness even when most of the sin was on the other side.
  • The grace to say “Sorry” even if I will not be forgiven.
  • The grace to communicate when there’s no communication in return.
  • The grace to offer help when help is not welcomed.
  • The grace to give advice, when the advice will be rejected.
  • The grace to say “Yes” when they deserve a “No.”
  • The grace to be resented for my love.
  • The grace to be viewed as uncool rather than über trendy.
  • The grace to not let the sun go down upon my anger.
  • The grace to explain when I could simply demand.
  • The grace to never be told, “Dad you were right and I was wrong.”
  • The grace to be thought of as an enemy for trying to be a faithful friend.
  • The grace to rejoice in their successes even when there are serious failings elsewhere.
  • The grace to pursue reconciliation when I’m the wronged party.
  • The grace to accept that I’ll never be the super-parent I wanted to be and others seem to be.

This is the hardest university I’ve ever been in, and I’m not sure if I’m ever going to graduate. If I do, it certainly won’t be with honors. However, I’m learning so much about God’s lifelong grace towards me (and about my parents’ grace towards me over 30 years ago), that I’d be willing to repeat the course.

By Anonymous.

What have you learned about grace in parenting teenagers?

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  • hopeinbrazil

    I have often been hurt by my teen’s lack of response to my love. This post encouraged me to keep on giving. Thank you so much.

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  • kim

    I loved these! And I will post them somewhere to remind me of what the Lord has done in my life through His chosen vessel, my son.

    It truly is grace that He has given me…and not just grace, but grace upon grace. And to know that He is sufficient and that there is no temptation, but such as one that He ALWAYS provides a way of escape that we may endure. His grace is my manna for the day. He gives according to my need and it is new every morning. And best of all, His presence with me ALWAYS.

    Unlike the author, I am not at the place where I want to go through this university again! All I can see is how He worked so much in getting the dross off of this vessel (me) through the challenges of adopting an older child. But, then again, I know that I would not know of Him in the way I know Him if it weren’t for the pain, the rejection and through it all, as that wonderful portrait in “Pilgrim’s Progress” in the Interpreter’s house of the fire burning higher and higher despite water being poured on it, yet the Spirit was secretly pouring oil on the fire.

    He is good. He is so VERY GOOD.

    • David Murray

      Beautiful comment, Kim. May the Lord hear your prayers and tears.

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  • Richard J D’Souza

    Great post. Some learning is lifelong. We never reach perfection, or we kid ouselves if we think we have.

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