David Murray - Leadership for Servants
Tag Archive - Leadership

Stars, sloths, sinners, saints, and stalwarts

Aug 30, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

Over at the Harvard Business Review, Thomas Delong has written an excellent piece calling upon businesses to Stop Ignoring the Stalwart Worker. I couldn’t believe how apt it was for churches as well. I’ve reproduced the post below in slightly edited form – basically all I’ve done is changed “organization” or “business” to “Churches,” “employees” to “Christians” or “members,” and “CEO” to “pastor.” The changes are in italics. Have a read and see if you recognize yourself or your church.

There’s an unnoticed population of Christians in churches today. Strangely enough, they’re also the majority.

The diagram below illustrates the labels that churches often use (knowingly or unknowingly) to classify their members.Stalwarts graphic The y-axis focuses on how a member is measured in acts of church service and ministry. The x-axis centers on how the member measures up to moral standards and values.

In each of the four corners, we find the Stars, Sinners, Low Performers, and Saints. For now, I want to bring to your attention those falling in the middle of the diagram — the Stalwarts.

These solid citizens make up the majority of Christians in most churches. The odds are you may find yourself among the Stalwarts at some point in your church life, no matter how high-revving your internal drive is. If so, you probably will find yourself questioning your significance.

That’s because, despite the number of Stalwarts in a church, these good, solid citizens go largely unnoticed. Few pastors think about the motivation, inclusion, and explicit spiritual development of the solid performers. One church leader said, “I thought that it couldn’t be true that so many Christians are systematically ignored through no fault of their own (except for the fact that they may not be politically astute or they don’t draw attention to themselves). But the more I reflected on my own church, the more I realized that I spend all my time worrying about the high performers and assume that everything is OK with everyone else.”

So what exactly is the Stalwart temperament? Perhaps the defining characteristic of Stalwarts is their aversion to calling attention to themselves — even when they need to. They are like the proverbial wheel that never squeaks — and, consequently, gets no grease. The quickest way to identify Stalwarts is to list the people who make the fewest demands on the pastor’s time. Such reserve is utterly alien to most Stars, who make sure that they squeak loudly enough to get the attention they want.

The other signature trait of Stalwarts is their deep loyalty to the church. They are responsible and care deeply about the church’s values, and they generally steer clear of risk. Stalwarts are intrinsically motivated by the service they can render for the good of the church, and they let their own talents and ministries take a backseat to the church’s well-being. They feel that they have accomplished something if the church is running like a well-oiled machine.

If you’re an pastor or leader who manages Stalwarts, it may be time to reexamine the way you perceive your Stalwart members.

(Delong then goes on to look at five myths about stalwarts, and concludes with this paragraph – with my changes again in italics)

Stalwarts bring depth and stability to the churches they serve, slowly but surely improving both the church’s ministries and resilience. They are always there as quiet yet powerful reminders to high performers obsessed with themselves or as examples to low performers terrified of failure. They will never garner the most revenue or publicity, but they are also less likely to embarrass the church or flunk out. They know intuitively how to stay grounded even when their footing may be unsure. And while pastors often take this amazing ability for granted, it brings real value to churches day after day. In times of crisis, Stalwarts can be a church’s saving grace.

Read Delong’s whole piece here.

Two cautions for Christian leaders

Aug 29, 2011 • By David Murray • 3 Comments

Prominent Christian leaders have a great privilege; they also have a great responsibility. Because they have been given the privilege of speaking in the name of the Lord to a wide audience, of guiding and of influencing many of God’s people, their words are especially watched by the Lord and will be more strictly judged by Him (James 3:1). God requires much greater verbal carefulness from those to whom He has given the privilege of a national profile or platform.

There are two areas in particular that all Christian leaders, but especially national Christian leaders, need to bear in mind.

Leaning tower of Pisa

1. Remember that some of your followers will take your emphasis further than you wish.
When we come into a congregational situation or a particular context that requires we “over-emphasize” a certain theme or direction to re-balance a previous ministry or cultural emphasis, we must remember that people (especially young people) who grow up under such teaching will themselves be unbalanced unless there is very careful explanation of what we are doing and why, with suitable and clear qualifications. Without such, those who follow us will not only be un-balanced but will usually go much further in the direction we titled towards.

2. Remember that your influence extends far beyond your own immediate context.
Some of the recent blog posts about the imperative/indicative debate have argued that: “Well, the context I’m ministering in requires overemphasis of the indicatives to re-balance previous teaching and misunderstanding of the Gospel.” Others might argue: “Because my congregation have over-dosed on theology and doctrine, I need to call them to faith and action more.”

Our particular contexts will, of course, impact our choice of texts and the unique emphases of our sermons. However, well-known preachers and teachers must also remember that, with modern technology, their sermons are going much further afield than their own congregation and context. Within minutes or hours their sermons are being heard by Christians in very different situations. That calls for a much greater and wider sense of responsibility.

I know a pastor who was accused by someone in his congregation of “preaching to his SermonAudio.com audience more than the people right in front of him.”  Well, if online listeners are more important to a preacher than the flesh and blood preachers in front of him, then obviously there’s something very wrong. But, if a preacher who broadcasts his sermons online takes no account of listeners who are facing exactly the opposite danger he’s addressing, and provides at least some careful qualification and nuancing of his message, then he is being irresponsible.

And, of course, when Christian leaders blog on such subjects, and blog without thinking about how their words will be read by people in a very different context, that’s not only irresponsible, it’s also extremely frustrating and demoralizing for local pastors who are battling the opposite problem.

Don’t spiritualize your management problems: Fix them!

Aug 24, 2011 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

In this post Maurilio Amorim argues that way too many churches and Christian ministries blame God or Satan for mismanagement rather than take right and decisive action.

Problems

Maurilio says:

Borrowing more money than you should, hiring the wrong person for the job, mismanaging people, failing to do due diligence on a deal, are not spiritual issues. They are management and leadership problems.

We don’t need to pray about firing an employee who has stolen from the organization, but leaders often agonize about letting people go who don’t perform, are not loyal, and who steal from the ministry by constantly robbing everyone by their lack of contribution or negative attitude. There’s a big difference between being ruthless and uncaring and being passive, fearful or disengaged.

But it’s not just churches, ministries, or companies that do this, is it! We’re all prone to this over-spiritualization of problems in our personal and family lives too.

And, in fact, I’d have to disagree with Maurilio that “these are not spiritual issues. They are management and leadership problems.”

They are definitely management and leadership problems. But they are also reveal deeper spiritual problems. What such fearful and fatalistic passivity reveals is a lack of true spirituality.  And a lack of true prayer.

Meeting manners

Aug 10, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Meetings

Have a look at this entertaining infographic and see if you can identify your meeting manners:

1. Bill the Deflector: keeps out of the conversation by deflecting all questions to other workers

2. Linda the Jargonmeister: Uses colorful buzzwords and “business speak” to navigate the questions to which she doesn’t have any real answers

3. Paula the Artful Dodger: Escapes answering as many inquiries and requests as possible

4. Martin the Boomerang: Throws everyone off guard by answering questions with questions

5. Conrad the Oldtimer: Knows the ins and outs of the game and only speaks up when a voice of reason is needed so that he can get out of the room as fast as possible

6. Agnes the Realist: With the possibility of promotion dangling in front of her like a carrot, she is determined to get everything done, no matter how long it takes – much to the chagrin of everyone else present.

7. Jerry the Big-Leaguer: Schedules meetings when he knows he can’t attend. It’s a powerplay of sorts that he thinks makes himself seem important.

8. Susan the Pacifist: Does everything in her power to keep everyone as happy as possible; conflict only makes the meeting drag on.

Disclaimer: The fact that I’m posting this a couple of days after our last Faculty & Staff meetings is entirely coincidental. Honestly! And the fact that some familiar names might be on this list do not in any way reflect the characteristics of any PRTS staff (Honestly, Bill and Jerry!!).

While on the subject, have a look at “The Modern Meetings Revolution.” 

How to lose friends and not influence anyone

Aug 1, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Marshall Goldsmith is a world-famous executive coach. His main emphasis is that “after you put the technical aspects of business aside, everything else is about people.” He has identified 20 behaviors that will ensure that you lose friends and influence no one. And they are not just true in business but in church and family life too.

1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations. 

2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our 2 cents to every discussion. 

3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them. 

4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasm and cutting remarks that we think make us witty. 

5. Starting with NO, BUT, HOWEVER: The overuse of these negative qualifiers, which secretly say to everyone that I’m right and you’re wrong. 

6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are. 

7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool. 

8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked. 

9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others. 

10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to give praise and reward. 

11. Claiming credit that that we don’t deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contributions to any success. 

12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it. 

13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else. 

14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly. 

15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others. 

16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues. 

17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners. 

18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us. 

19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves. 

20. An excessive need to be “me:” Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.

Goldsmith then gives four ways to start winning friends, influencing everyone and achieving breakthrough measurable results. Click here to read how.

96 minutes of daily interruptions

Jul 25, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

A recent Dutch study of Research and Development Engineers investigated how task attributes, job characteristics, personality characteristics, and time management competence were related to the completion of their planned daily tasks.

The study found that only 73% of their planned daily tasks were completed by the end of each day.

The main reason? Interruptions. An average of 96 minutes worth of them every day.

Other findings:

  • Attractiveness of the task was not related to completion.
  • Less important tasks were usually completed rather than more important tasks.
  • Tasks that are both important and urgent are more likely to be performed, but tasks that are only important and not urgent are unlikely to be completed.
  • Personality—conscientiousness and emotional stability—and time management skills, were the most consistent factors in task completions.
  • Time management training was most highly related to task completion of the variables included, even though only five people reported having gone through a program, and that was more than three years before.

Read the whole study here (pdf): Things to do today.

The Talk-o-meter

Jun 30, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Something that every Elder’s Meeting/Deacon’s Board/Presbytery should purchase: The Talk-o-meter.

When switched on the iPhone App, Talk-o-meter, will separate different voices and at intervals of 1, 2 or 5 minutes it presents in different lengths of red and blue bars what percentage of time each speaker was talking.

Screen_shot_2011-06-30_at_11


“Nobody has to be unpleasantly exhorted – from time to time everyone will have a cursory glance at the Talk-o-Meter and adapt if he is talking too much. Gentle biofeedback works!”

Might also save your marriage! (Or destroy it)

4 ways to benefit from criticism

May 19, 2011 • By David Murray • 3 Comments

So, you’ve prepared for the criticism, you’ve distinguished the nature of the critic and their criticism, but now you have to respond. Will you be gored, injured, or with a flourish of your cape will you let the bull pass by and learn from the experience? How you deal with criticism will determine the whole course of your ministry.

Four steps to avoid
Reject: without a moment’s thought you simply dismiss the criticism, minimize it, and move on

Retaliate: again, often without even a pause, you attack the attacker or criticize the critic

Resent: while you may seem to accept what was said, you inwardly seethe and bitterly brood

Resign: you just give in, give up and run away

Four steps to follow
1. Receive the criticism
Whether it comes in verbal or written form, the first thing to do is pray for grace to listen to what is being said. If the person is in front of you, pray inwardly, look them in the eye, project calm, avoid hostile body language or facial expressions, and ask for time to think and pray about what is being said.

You may want to clarify the complaint by re-stating or re-phrasing it just to make sure you both understand the problem. Give a rough idea of when you plan to respond (within a week, say), and ask him/her what action they would like to see in response to their complaint.

End by thanking the person for coming to you in person and pray together. In your prayer set the specific complaint in the context of a wider relationship and experience of the Lord’s blessing.

2. Reflect on the criticism
Questions to prayerfully ask include:

  • Is it true? Is it even slightly true? Try to find the grain of truth in it if you can.
  • Is it proportionate? Is this making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it in the context of previous appropriate appreciation for the pastor?  Does the criticism extend beyond one sermon/incident? Is it balanced in its expression or does it become hostile and exaggerated?
  • Who is making the criticism? If it is a godly and faithful Christian, then you will pay much more
attention to it than to someone who is not professing to be a
Christian. If a particular Christian has an imbalanced theology or
some particular “theological hobby horse” then this too should be
taken into account when weighing the criticism’s validity.
  • Is there something else behind the criticism? Could there be stress or trouble at home or at work?
  • How many times have you heard this criticism? If it is coming from a number of independent sources, then it is time to sit up and take close note.

Sometimes it might be worth seeking advice, getting a second opinion from a trusted elder, fellow pastor, or friend, someone a bit more objective than yourself. Maybe also ask them to hold you to account as you respond to the person and relate to them in the future.

3. Respond to the Criticism
In your response, try to think of building a long-term relationship. It is easy to win a short-term victory but lose a long-term opportunity to do a person spiritual good.

If at all possible, meet in person rather than respond by email or telephone. Pray together then calmly explain what aspects of the criticism you accept (for which you thank him), and what you don’t. If you have admitted that you were wrong, explain how you plan to apologize to offended parties and put things right. In very extreme circumstances it may be appropriate to offer your resignation. Ask if your response is satisfactory. Close with prayer, asking the Lord to bless your relationship, not let the devil in, and grow in mutual love and respect. 

4. Repent of your error/sin
When a matador is injured, he will review film of the incident, learn from his mistake, and put things right for the future. Likewise the pastor should respond not just by accepting he said or did something wrong, but also by putting things right for the future. Repentance does not just include sorrow for sin, but turning from it to new obedience in dependence upon the Holy Spirit.

In the pastoral bullring

May 17, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

Just as the matador prepares for the bullring, so the pastor must prepare for criticism. But the matador also has to distinguish between different bulls. He observes them from a distance and close up. He sees how they interact with other bulls and how they react to other matadors. He analyzes their character and anticipates their attacks. Some bulls are very aggressive and determined to kill, others treat it like more of a game, while still others treat the matador with the utmost respect. The matador’s strategy will be determined by the nature of the bulls and the nature of their “attacks.”

Likewise the pastor has to carefully distinguish between different kinds of critics and different elements of their criticism.

  • Invited criticism: Scheduled or regular evaluation and review by one or more people in one or more area of ministry
  • Uninvited criticism: Regular or one-off by people whose opinion you did not ask for
  • Justified criticism: Accurate reflection of the truth
  • Unjustified criticism: Inaccurate, false, untrue, imbalanced
  • Constructive criticism: For my good and to help me to become better at what I do
  • Destructive criticism: To discourage, damage, dishearten, demoralize, and diminish me
  • Sensitive criticism: Expressed with love, wisdom, balance
  • Insensitive criticism: Insensitive tone, content, situation
  • Backstabbing criticism: Cowardly undermining of you and your ministry in your absence (although probably intended to get back to you via “carriers”)

If you have prepared for the criticism and analyzed its various elements, you are then in a position to respond. Click back tomorrow for that.

The Bull-loving Matador

May 16, 2011 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

There’s one way for a matador to avoid confrontations with bulls, and that’s never to get into the ring!

There’s only one way to avoid criticism in the ministry, and that’s never to become a minister!

But that’s not just true of the ministry. That’s true of all walks of life – sport, politics, entertainment, business, etc. You will never achieve anything in any walk of life if you are unwilling to receive criticism or are easily defeated by it.  John Wesley once questioned in his journal if he was truly right with God since had had received no criticism for an entire day!

So, if criticism is inevitable, can we prepare for it? Yes we can. Just as no matador steps into the ring without thorough preparation, so the pastor should also prepare – spiritually and physically – for the inevitable “charge.”

1. Walk humbly with God. Pride comes before a fall. If we are over-confident or self-confident, we are going to stumble, make some big mistakes, and receive just criticism. Seek a deep sense of your own spiritual vulnerability. Pray to be kept from sin and foolishness. You will be criticized even if you never sin or do anything foolish (remember Jesus!). However, you will be criticized even more if you do. So why give extra ammo?

2. Develop and deepen love for your critics.
Matadors may not love bulls, and in fact usually end up killing them. However, the pastor must love his “bulls” to life, even though they are maybe trying to gore him to “death.” You will eventually realize that there are a few people in your congregation who are going to criticize you no matter what you say or do. Instead of developing resentment and bitterness towards such people, ask God to give you a Christ-like love for them. It may give you an insight into how “hard” it was for Christ to love you!

3. Practice tongue-control. Ideally you will work at a deeper heart-level in quelling and quenching anger that leads to bad-tempered retaliation. However, in the meantime, practice simply saying little or nothing in response to criticism. Perhaps think of a stock phrase to use like: “Thank you for taking the time to speak to me about that. Please give me some time to prayerfully think about what you said, and let me get back to you on it.” I’ve never regretted saying that. I’ve often regretted saying anything else.

4. Get enough sleep. The matador’s preparation involves the mental, the emotional, and even the spiritual at some levels. However, he must also prepare physically if he is to be sharp and agile in his art. Likewise, the pastor has to prepare physically for verbal attacks. A lack of sleep and exercise will leave us physically run down, which has a knock on effect on our emotions and thinking patterns. If we are fresh and fit, it is so much easier to react in the right way to those who charge at us!

Does your desk glorify God?

Mar 31, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

Does your desk glorify God? Can you glorify God in your administration? These are the questions I addressed with my Leadership class students recently when we discussed the problem of paper (or data). Some pastors seem to think that the power of the Gospel stops at their office door! But there is no area of life we can say to God, “No entry!” In this interview with Christianity Today, Matt Perman of whatsbestnext.com argues that administration is part of the good works we do to glorify God.

The Beauty of Organization

We are used to thinking about mountains or lakes or Apple Macs when we think about beauty – but not about administration. But I believe orderly administration is beautiful because:

  • It portrays the image of God (Gen.1:27)
  • It obeys the mandate of God (Gen.1:28)
  • It gives pleasure to God (Gen.1:31),
  • It reflects the nature of God (1 Cor. 14:33, 40).

Sin, by way of contrast, is anomos, lawlessness, disorder and chaos.

The Benefits of Organization
Efficient organization is not only beautiful, it is also beneficial.

  • Available time increases as we spend less time looking for things. Matt Perman quotes To do, doing done, “Clutter sucks creativity and energy from your brain.”
  • Our peace increases because we are not always worrying if we missed something. We enjoy our work a lot more.
  • The effectiveness of our witness increases because if we fail to answer correspondence or keep appointments we lose credibility and people’s confidence.

You might say that the cultural mandate “Rule and be fruitful” begins with our offices. Here’s a great series on How to set up your desk by Matt Perman.

The Barriers to Organization
As we would expect in this fallen world, anything beautiful or beneficial is not going to come easily. There are a number of obstacles to organization, not least of which are our own sinful hearts.

  • Our sinful hearts: Some people enjoy portraying themselves as Kings of their chaos. The monotonous drudgery of organizing puts some off, while others claim that a clean space would spoil their creativity! We do get attached to our things and resist getting rid of them. “It may be trash, but it’s my trash.”
  • The sins of others: Maybe we are married to chaotic people and we cannot get them to cooperate. Perhaps we have been given an impossible workload that prevents us ever doing anything well.
  • Changes: Sometimes we feel that we just get settled into a good routine when the next change comes along and all the balls we’ve been juggling fall to the floor again. Whenever we change computers, or have to get used to new software, our organizing is going to take a backward step. And any change in study or living location is obviously going to engulf our studies as well.
  • Storage: Sometimes our problem is simply that we do not have enough storage space, or it is not close enough for us to use it. Others, however, set up such a complex storage system that it just puts them off using it. We also need simple storage solutions for electronic information.

Yes, even our administration needs to be redeemed. Tomorrow we’ll look at a Blueprint for Organization, and the Balance of Organization.

UPDATE: “Tomorrow” has been postponed until Monday ;)

Leadership Lecture: The Honest Steward

Mar 14, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Here’s the fifth model of leadership (pdf and audio) we studied in our Leadership and Administration class at PRTS.

So Pastor, what’s your point?

Mar 14, 2011 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

Dennis Prutow recently wrote a great book on preaching called So, Pastor, What’s Your Point. His point was that we can preach for 40 minutes plus and leave people none the wiser. “What was all that about?” people ask each other as they leave. There may have been lots of good ideas but no real point to what was being said.

And that’s not only true of preaching, it’s true of all our communications: emails, announcements, comments at elder’s meetings, etc.

Here are five suggestions to help improve pastoral communication:

1. Cut the words
We can confuse our hearers by saying too little, by not explaining enough. Sometimes we assume too much; we think that everyone knows the background as we do. Sometimes we don’t trust people enough; we think they will misunderstand or that they shouldn’t really know this anyway. Whether over-assuming or under-trusting, the end result is that people are left scratching their heads…or shaking them!

However, by far the most common problem for pastors is at the other end of the scale. They confuse and bamboozle by verbosity. It is one of the hardest yet most essential skills a pastor can acquire – to summarize and simplify. Can I shorten this sentence? Can I use smaller words? Can I be less abstract and more concrete? Can I illustrate? Do I need to say the same thing three times? Do I need to say this at all?

2. Consider the purpose
What are you trying to achieve with this message? When you ask such questions you start thinking about more than just the words; you consider body-language, clothing, environment, etc. If you are wanting to show care to a lonely single mother, you don’t do that by dressing like a teenager and visiting her late at night alone. If you want to persuade a young woman not to marry a non-Christian guy, then you don’t address that with her in front of the Youth Group. If you want to comfort a man on the loss of his wife, then you don’t do that in a restaurant with the possibility of him breaking down in public.

3. Create the hearing scenario in your mind
The Indian proverb says, “Try to walk a mile in another person’s moccasins.” A skillful communicator is able to sympathize and empathize with those he is communicating with. He is able to imagine what it is like to live their life and be in their situation. He looks at the background, the history, the pressures, the stresses, the health issues, the job situation, etc., and tries to live in that world by imagination. And then he tries to hear/read his message as if living their life. We have to ask not just, “How am I going to say this?” but also, “How is this going to be heard?”

4. Consult with others
Some preachers run their sermons past their elders, and some even do the same with their wives! I’ve never done that and I don’t recommend it. That can become a bondage and unduly influence what God has given us to say. The only exception I would make is if you are dealing with a particularly sensitive issue. Then it might be worth passing it by someone.

And that’s where I believe consultation comes in most – when dealing with sensitive issues. If the elders ask you to address the congregation on a potentially controversial or divisive issue, then make sure every elder signs off on the statement before it is issued. Give enough time for feedback and incorporate as much as you can before sending it out to them again for final approval.

If you are dealing with criticism, then ask a trusted person or two to review your response if written, or to consult with you beforehand and then come with you if you are going to be face-to-face with the person.

If you blog, tweet, Facebook, or publish congregational newsletters, again it is worth having one or two people who will keep you accountable and who will give you feedback about the impression you are giving.

5. Check motivation

If our motivation is wrong, then our communication is also bound to go wrong in tone or content. Why am I writing this or saying this? Is it to make myself look good? Is it to attack someone and prove them wrong? Is it to keep a person or family in the church at all costs?

Isn’t it appropriate that the Epistle dealing most with communication, begins with a promise: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5).

Pastors and communication: 4 questions

Mar 11, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

The pastor is in the communication business. Whatever else he is, he is a communicator. Everything he does is about communication. Communication is his “product” or “service.” Whether he is preaching, counseling, chairing a board of elders, emailing, blogging, facebooking, writing newsletters, evangelizing, meeting someone on the street, or even just standing in a public place – he is communicating; he is communicating a message. His words, his expressions, his tone of voice, his body language, and even his clothes are communicating a message. An awareness of this continuous communication mode is the first step we take in becoming good communicators. There is no point in being a skillful preacher, if our person-to-person communication skills are poor. The one will undermine the other. We can be as eloquent as Cicero, but if we spell like an infant in our emails then our credibility and reliability will be undermined. So, here are four preliminary questions to consider in all pastoral communication.

1. What is my message?
Whether we are preaching, leading a Bible study, visiting a sick person, or writing a report, we need a clear statement of purpose. What do I want to get across here? And can I sum it up in a simple sentence? 

2. Is my message accurate?
Is this true? Am I telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? We hope that spiritual leaders would never intentionally tell a lie. However, it can be very tempting to tell the truth, but not the whole truth, especially when we are facing problems in a congregation or in a personal relationship. We may hold back something that does not present ourselves in the best possible light.

3. Is my message appropriate?
We can be clear and truthful about our message and yet fail to communicate because our message may use words that are too big, or sentences that are too long. Alternatively, if we are addressing educated and mature Christians, we must not come across as condescending and demeaning.

And what about the tone of the message? If dealing with hurt and wounded people, am I communicating like a sympathetic friend, or like a math teacher dealing with statistics? If communicating with critics, am I addressing them as an angry opponent out to win an argument, or as a gentle peacemaker out to win them over. If dealing with serious sin, am I communicating the gravity of the situation, or am I trying to sweeten the bitter pill with lashings of comedy?

4. Is this the right medium?

The pastor has many vehicles for his words today. On top of sermons, he has bible studies, fellowship meetings, counseling sessions, family visitation, private conversation, email, private letters, congregational newsletters, pulpit announcements, telephone, letters to newspapers, blogs, podcasts, etc. The medium is part of the message and has to be chosen wisely if we do not want to damage the message itself.

My Hero

Feb 24, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

Various Old and New Testament believers are set forth as examples of courageous believing, speaking, and doing: Moses before Pharaoh, Joshua before the Jordan, Rahab before the soldiers, David before Goliath, Nathan before David, Elijah before the prophets of Baal, John the Baptist before Herod, Paul before his accusers, etc. But of course our supreme example of courage is Christ Himself, and he demonstrated that in many arenas:

  • Courage in evangelism: He came to sinners with an authoritative summons: “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”
  • Courage in preaching: He addressed the most powerful religious leaders of the day as a “generation of vipers” and told them that woe was coming upon them unless they repented.
  • Courage in private: He was not just brave when everyone else was watching but also when no one else was there. Witness his truth-full dealings with Nicodemus at night, and with the Samaritan woman at the well.
  • Courage in dealing with his friends and family: Some men find it easy to be frank and fearless with their enemies, but Christ was frank and fearless with those closest to him as well.
  • Courage in reforming the church: He cleansed the temple of greedy businessmen with a scourge of leather, and of greedy pharisees with the scourge of his tongue.
  • Courage in the public square: Christ was not afraid to raise his voice in public, and speak up for the poor and against the abuse of power.
  • Courage in fighting the devil: Christ knew at times that the devil was about to step up his attacks, yet he did not flinch; rather he faced it head on.
  • Courage in crises: Christ continually faced the threat of physical pain and ultimately of death itself, yet “steadfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem.”

Tomorrow we’ll look at how we can imitate our great hero in these different arenas.

Leadership Lecture: The Patient Shepherd

Feb 16, 2011 • By David Murray • 0 Comments

Audio and pdf of lecture on leading as a Shepherd. Click on “Leadership Lectures” tab below for previous lectures.

Leadership Lecture: The Humble Servant

Feb 11, 2011 • By David Murray • 1 Comment

Here’s the audio from week 2 of my Christian Leadership course lectures at Puritan Reformed Seminary. There are two parts to the lecture: The Humble Servant (1) and (2).

And here’s a pdf of the lecture. The previous lecture notes can be found by clicking the “Leadership Lectures” tab below.

The Shepherd Leader

Jan 6, 2011 • By David Murray • 3 Comments

OK, sorry Calum Angus, the sheep got a bit of a hard time yesterday. To make you feel better here’s one on the shepherd, and I’ve modeled it on you!

1. The shepherd is patient with his sheep

The shepherds and crofters in my congregation would sometimes encourage me to get some sheep. Even my wife, who is from the Scottish Highlands, suggested it at times. However, as a city-boy, I knew that I simply did not have the patience required.

In the Scottish Highlands there are many single track roads; they allow only one car at a time. Every hundred yards or so you can find little passing places where two cars can squeeze by. Many’s a time I ended up on one of these single track roads behind a bunch of sheep, slowly moseying along. Initially I would hoot my horn, rev my engine, shout out the window – all to no avail. I learned to simply wait until they decided to saunter off the road and back into their fields again. Nothing would rush them. 

When you are about to blow a gasket or a fuse with someone in your congregation, remind yourself, “They are only sheep…and so am I.” What’s the point of hooting your horn and revving up your engine. Be patient.

2. The shepherd knows his sheep
I have to be honest, despite years of looking at sheep, they still all look the same to me. Yet, I could walk through a field with a shepherd and he would know the names and even the characters of each one. He would know their ewe, their ram, and their lambs. He knew the scrapes they had been in and the number of times he had to rescue them.

While the pastor should study and know the nature of sheep in general, he should study and know his own sheep in particular. The first priority in going to a new congregation should be to get to know everyone’s names – from oldest to youngest – as quickly as possible. Then work at knowing their characters, personalities, gifts, struggles, etc.

3. The shepherd values his sheep
I’ve often been amazed at the misty and dreamy expressions that come across shepherds’ faces as they talk about their sheep or point them out. They seem to say, “They may be only sheep, but they are my sheep.” They care for them and think about them constantly. One shepherd who moved to the city for a while told me that he once woke up in the night with a dream about one of his sheep. He phoned his mother to check up on it, and sure enough, the sheep was in need of medical attention. Explain that!

The pastor should value each and every sheep as highly as possible – whatever their physical, spiritual or financial health! Statistics mean little to the pastor. 99 may be doing well, but if one is missing, he will move heaven and earth to find it. When I first moved to the Scottish Highlands, in the course of pastoral visitation, I used to innocently ask, “So how many sheep do you have?” I could never figure out why the answers were so vague until my Scottish Highland wife told me, “David! That’s like asking how much money do you have in the bank!” I stopped asking. So why do we always ask pastors, “How many are in your congregation?” Like the shepherd, the pastor values each sheep as of infinite worth. So whether he has 10 or 1000, the value is the same – infinite!

4. The shepherd loves his sheep
The shepherd does not just value his sheep as if they were units of economic production (in fact most Scottish shepherds I know made a financial loss on most of their sheep). He loves them; and not just as a collective, but as individuals. He does not just have loving feelings but takes loving actions.

The pastor will find it easy to love some of his sheep. But there are others… Pray over the particularly unloveable ones. Ask God to help you find something to love in them, or to help you love them even if there is nothing loveable about them  – after all that’s what the Great and Good Shepherd does daily for you

5. The shepherd observes his sheep

No matter what day I looked out at the sheep they all looked the same and all did the same. However a shepherd can detect the smallest difference. He can sense problems long before they fully develop. He sees a sheep in an unusual spot in the field. He sees a change in its posture or eating habits. And he takes action.

The good pastor will develop these powers of acute and careful observation as well. He will develop an instinct for problems in his sheep’s lives. He senses a different expression on the face, a different posture in worship, a change in vocal tone, and he may not be able to put his finger upon it, but he sense something is wrong. And often a few wise questions reveal well-founded fears.

6. The shepherd feeds his sheep
Hungry sheep are unhappy sheep…and noisy sheep. The shepherd knows the best fields to take his sheep at different times of the year. He knows when they need particular kinds of grass. He knows when water is needed to refresh and reinvigorate his flock.

The Apostle Peter had a passion for feeding the flock of God, and we know where he got that from (John 21:15-22; 1 Pet. 5:2). When I started out in the ministry, one senior minister told me, “If you keep their bellies full, you won’t hear any bleating.” It takes a wise Shepherd to know what kind and amounts of food each sheep needs. May God help us to feed the right kinds of food, in the right amounts, at the right times. And may he help us not to starve or over-feed our sheep, nor give them indigestion!

7. The shepherd leads his sheep
In Western cultures, the shepherd follows behind the sheep, and directs the sheep with dogs. But in the East it was the custom for shepherds to go before the sheep, to break up the way, to clear paths of danger, to take the safest path. He leads them beside the still waters, in straight paths, through the darkest valley.

Too many Western pastors have embraced the Western model of Shepherding when it comes to leadership. They follow the sheep rather than lead them. The pastor should be out in front of his sheep in his theological knowledge, in his spiritual experience, in his awareness of danger, in his plotting of the course, etc.

8. The shepherd speaks well of his sheep
In Scotland I eventually learned not to criticize or mock sheep in front of their shepherd; it was a rather sensitive topic! And I also learned to listen to wonderful long descriptions about individual sheep, as the shepherd brought out the strengths of each member of his flock.

The pastor should make it a policy to speak well of his congregation as a whole and of its individual members. If someone criticizes one of his sheep, he leaps to his/her defense and brings out the good. When he travels to other places and is asked about his sheep, he replies with words of affection and appreciation. And not just because words of criticism will almost always get back to the sheep.

9. The shepherd pursues his sheep
When a sheep is missing or straying, the shepherd does not say, “O well, I’ve got 99 left.” No, he seeks until he finds it (Lk. 15:3ff). No matter how far away, no matter how foolish the sheep has been, no matter how frequent his straying, the shepherd goes after it.

When a person is missing from public worship, the pastor inquires after him or her. When a person is missing a few weeks in a row, the pastor is getting ready to leave the 99 and go after the straying soul. When the pastor hears that a member has been involved in a heated public argument, or has started dating a non-Christian, or has been saying inappropriate things on Facebook, etc, his cloak is on, his staff is on his hand, and he’s on his way to recover the stray. My brother-in-law once so spent himself hunting for three lost sheep (the woolly kind) that he just about died with exhaustion! He would not give up, and neither should the pastor. 

10. The shepherd rests his sheep
In Scotland, just before the winter started, the shepherds would go out into the moors and mountains to gather their flocks that had been enjoying the summer pastures. Sometimes it would take a few days to drive them to their winter shelter. But he never chased them or pushed them beyond their limits. He knew when they needed a rest and a breather.

There are times in congregational life when the pastor must pressure the sheep to move on. Maybe, there is a building program to be undertaken, or an outreach campaign that needs all hands on deck. However, the wise shepherd knows when he has driven the sheep far enough and long enough. He knows there are seasons of rest and refreshment needed as well.

11. The shepherd perseveres with his sheep
There are days when the shepherd feels exhausted, discouraged, frustrated and unappreciated. He is tempted to give up. “Why do I get up every day and give myself to such ungrateful creatures?” However, the good shepherd patiently perseveres.

This is not to say that the spiritual shepherd never leaves a flock and moves on to take care of another. It is simply to say that he does not do so when the first problems appear. And when he does sense the Great Shepherd’s call to move on, he may leave the sheep, but the sheep never leave his heart.

O that the Lord would make us and give us such shepherds today, according to His promise: “Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding” (Jer. 3:15).

Sheep: “This time it’s personal”

Jan 5, 2011 • By David Murray • 8 Comments

Throughout Scripture, sinners in general, and God’s people in particular, are described as sheep. And those God sends to lead them are equally frequently called shepherds. Today we will look at the character of the sheep, and tomorrow at the character of the shepherd. We start with the sheep because the key to leading as a shepherd is in understanding the nature of sheep.

I pastored for 12 years in the Scottish Highlands. During that time, I was surrounded by sheep: sheep on the roads, sheep on the mountains, sheep on the beeches, sheep in my yard. O, yes, and sometimes sheep in the shepherds’ fields. My study on the Isle of Lewis was 12 inches away from a field full of sheep. Sometimes at night I would look up from my computer and see many pairs of luminous green eyes staring at me through my window! I got to know sheep pretty well. What did I learn?

1. Sheep are foolish

I don’t know what sheep would score in an animal IQ, but I think they would be close to the bottom of the scale. They seem to only know how to do one thing well – eat grass (and produce more grass-eating sheep).

It’s possible to know little, yet not be foolish; but not if you are a sheep. They are so irrational. You watch them as they pause in front of a stream. They know they can’t jump it or swim it. So what do they do? They jump in anyway!

2. Sheep are slow to learn
Every shepherd will tell you countless stories about how sheep can be taught a very painful lesson, and yet fail to learn the painful lesson. A sheep may get caught in barbed wire trying to break through a fence. And the next day it will try it again, and again,… 

3. Sheep are unattractive
Some animals may not be very bright, but make up for it with grace and elegance in their movement and actions. But sheep are so awkward, so lacking in agility and dignity. Although some shepherds may tell you differently, to most outside observers sheep are dirty, smelly, and ugly.

4. Sheep are demanding
Ever watch a lamb suckle its mother? Almost as soon as it is born, it is violently sucking its mother’s udders. And that insatiable demand never leaves them. They demand grass, grass, and more grass; day after day, and night after night. (Do they ever sleep?) And when snow is on the ground, they aggressively demand food from the shepherd. Just listen to them bleat if their troughs are empty even for a short time. And watch the life-or-death stampede when the shepherd appears. 

5. Sheep are stubborn
Have you ever tried to move a sheep? It’s like trying to move an elephant. Ever watched a shepherd try to manoeuvre a sheep into a fold or a dip-tank. It’s like trying to wrestle with a devil. Half a dozen sheep invaded my garden once. I thought it would be easy to hustle them out the wide gate again. But it was as if an electric shield (visible only to sheep) stretched across the gap. I could get them to go anywhere and everywhere, but through that gate. 

6. Sheep are strong
I’ve watched the most macho of men beaten by sheep. You look at their skinny “arms” and “legs” and think “easy.” Next thing you are flat on your back or face down in the dirt. I’ve been flattened by running sheep. It was like getting run over by a tank. 

7. Sheep are straying
Perhaps the main reason Scripture chooses sheep to characterize us, more than any other animal, is because of its well-deserved reputation for straying (Isa. 53:6) and getting lost (Lk. 15:3ff). So many times I was out in the middle of nowhere when I would come across a sheep – miles from anyone and anything – and totally unconcerned. I would look up on a cliff and there was a sheep out on a lethal ledge. Other times, when fishing miles from anywhere, I would come across ditches and bogs with the decaying remains of a wandering sheep, and I’d think, “How did that get out here?”

8. Sheep are unpredictable
If you travel along the roads of the Scottish Highlands you will soon learn to expect the unexpected. You look ahead on a quiet piece of long straight road with no cars. You spy sheep in the distance on the side of the road. They watch you driving along towards them. Hundreds of yards pass. You are almost level. Well, they aren’t going to cross the road now, are they? Screeeeeech! Well, what do you know! 

9. Sheep are copycats
OK, bit of a mix of metaphors here, but I think you get my point. When one sheep decides to start running, they all decide to start running. If you were able to ask one, “Why did you start running?” it would say, “Well, because he started running.” The next would say the same. And the next one. And when you got to the last sheep he would just say, “I dunno.”

10. Sheep are restless
It always puzzled me how little sheep slept. I would be in my study at midnight, look out, and there they were still eating grass. And no matter what time I arose in the morning – 3am or 5am – they would still be eating grass.

Other times, there would be a beautiful summer evening when everything was still and quiet and you would come across a field full of sprinting sheep (usually due to the Scottish midges – look it up on Google).

I once heard that for sheep to lie down they need freedom from fear, freedom from friction with others, freedom from hunger, and freedom from pests and parasites. From what I’ve seen, that combination is very rare.

11. Sheep are dependent
Some animals can cope and thrive without any close supervision. Not sheep. They are very dependent on their shepherd. They cannot live without him (or her).

12. Sheep are the same everywhere
I’ve been in a number of different countries in my life and enjoyed the many cultural differences. But sheep are the one constant – in character if not in looks. The American sheep is the same as the African sheep (see 1-11 above), which is the same as the Asian sheep, which is the same as…

The shepherd is a sheep
Well, of course, this is not a zoology lecture, nor an agricultural seminar. The sheep metaphor reveals the nature of the sinner, even the saved sinner, and hence the difficulty of the task facing the shepherd.

And the greatest difficulty of all stems from the fact that the shepherd is also a sheep! It might be easy for pastors to read this post and say, “Hey that sounds like my congregation!” But it also sounds uncomfortably too much like you (and me) as well doesn’t it!

So how does a sheep-like-shepherd shepherd sheep?

That’s one for tomorrow.

Servant Leadership

Dec 29, 2010 • By David Murray • 2 Comments

Servant-leadershp is bottom-up leadership. It’s the opposite of all the top-down models we are so familiar with (e.g., the royal king, the authoritarian tyrant, the distant guru, the superior academic, the bureaucratic czar, the CEO, etc.). Someone described top-down leadership this way: “The boss barks orders to the employee; the employee goes home and barks orders at his spouse; the spouse barks orders at the children; the children kick the dog; the dog chases the neighborhood cat.” Sound like your church? It shouldn’t.

The top-down model is not only the most common, it is also the one that comes most naturally to sinners (as it reflects the devil’s nature). It is easier to order people around than to engage, motivate, inspire, enthuse, etc. It is also far more predictable and far less risky. I’ve seen so many pastors, elders, etc., decide things on their own rather than consulting with God’s people or putting something to a vote, because they can control the outcome better.

Where are our models?
Old and New Testament saints saw themselves as servants (Gen. 18:3; 19:19; Ex. 4:10; Num. 12:7; Jer. 44:4; Rom. 1:1), as of course did Christ Himself (Mark 10:42-45; John 13:14-17; Phil. 2:5, 7). The last passage shows how Christ gave up His rights, his reputation, his recognition, and his royalty to become a servant. They, and He especially, are our models of servant leadership.

Whom do we serve?
We serve God first (we’re not independent but dependent on God for commission, authority, blessing)
We serve God’s people (we’re not their lord or sovereign)
We serve sinners (we don’t look down on the unsaved but get down on our knees for them)
We serve servants (we don’t compete with other pastors but serve them [Luke 22:26])
We serve the Servant (who said, “I am among you as one who serves.”)

How do we serve?
Someone once asked, “How do I know if I am functioning as a servant?” The answer, “By the way you react when people treat you like one!” But here are some further characteristics of the servant leader in pastoral ministry:

  • You consult before making major decisions.  People you should consider consulting are fellow-elders, other pastors, mature Christians, your wife, and anyone who will be impacted by your decision.
  • You visit people as their pastor. Pastoral visitation and involvement in the messiness of people’s lives keeps our feet (and our knees) on the ground.
  • You socialize with people from all walks of life. Don’t be too proud to lunch with the poor – or with the rich.
  • You encourage the expression of divergent views. Seek out those who you know will usually oppose your plans and decisions and ask them for their opinion and reasons.  Make sure everyone on the elder’s board has opportunity to express their opinion, even if you know they will disagree with you.
  • Your take responsibility. When something goes wrong, the first thing you ask is, “Am I responsible?” Be ready and willing to point the finger at yourself, even if it is not entirely your fault.
  • You resist the default of viewing criticism as personal dislike. However excessive, imbalanced, or “personal” the criticism, try to find the grain of truth in it.
  • You need and use the means of grace. The busier you become the more time you spend in prayer and Bible reading. Cultivate and maintain a close and lively walk with Christ.
  • You welcome the insight of other Christians on texts and doctrines. You recognize that God often reveals things to babes that he hides from the wise and prudent.
  • You seek accountability.  You ask your wife, your fellow-elders, or a mentor to keep you accountable to Scriptural standards. And when choosing accountability elders, don’t choose the ones most like yourself!
    • Accountability requires honesty on the part of both parties.
    • Accountability requires commitment from both parties.
    • Accountability requires clear expectations (see John Piper’s accountability questionnaire)
    • Accountability requires clear procedures
  • You never use the threat of resignation as a lever.  You persevere through difficulties and disagreements  without resorting to worldly methods of manipulation.
  • You continue to evangelize the lost. You recognize that however well-respected you are in church circles, you are still fundamentally a disciple and a witness to the resurrected Christ.
  • You take on the dirty jobs from time to time. Without abandoning the ministry of the Word and prayer, from time to time you show that you are not above the menial jobs in the congregation.
  • You keep learning. Because you realize your own limitations and needs, you make a point of listening to others sermons, reading others books, going to conferences, etc.
  • You put the growth and development of others ahead of your own. Robert Greenleaf was one of the first to advocate for servant leadership in business. His website offers the following test of servant leadership: “The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?”
  • You return to the cross of Christ for forgiveness and for the power to serve more faithfully.

How do we lead?
Having said all this about service, it is important to remember that servant-leaders still lead. They do the things that leaders do – direct, organize, delegate, etc., – but they do so as servants. In Effective Pastoring, Bill Lawrence says that “servant” qualifies “leader.”

Servant leaders exercise authority but they do so with motives, focus, values, methods that differ from those of other leaders. The servant leader exercises authority motivated by a love for Christ, a focus on his interests, the values of the cross, and the courage to wash the feet of those who follow Christ with him (p. 100).

But he hastens to say, they still lead.

Servant leaders serve or they don’t lead at all. And servant leaders lead, or they don’t serve at all. Stated another way, servant leaders lead by serving and serve by leading (p. 104).

Greenleaf puts it like this:

The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types.

I hope that every pastor, and indeed anyone engaged in Christian service, is a servant-first.

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