Recently I was asked for resources on emotional intelligence (sometimes called EQ). Here’s what I had on file with some summaries and extracts from the articles.
The Must-Have Pastoral Skill | Head Heart Hand
Here’s my take on Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, and how it applies to pastoral ministry. Leaders on all fronts can benefit from sharpening their interpersonal skills and, arguably, Emotional Intelligence is even more important for pastors and those in ministry than for those in business.
What’s the must-have pastoral skill?
“Public speaking?” No.
“Theological expertise?” No.
It’s social intelligence. Some call it “interpersonal skills” or “EQ”(Emotional Intelligence).
How to Boost Your (and Others’) Emotional Intelligence | Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and Michael Sanger, Harvard Business Review
EQ is considered by Goleman and others to be malleable and changeable. Click through for the details, but here are a few tips on how to boost your EQ:
- Turn self-deception into self-awareness
- Turn self-focus into other-focus
- Be more rewarding to deal with
- Control your temper-tantrums
- Display humility, even if it’s fake
- They focus on the positive
- They surround themselves with positive people
- They are able to set boundaries and be assertive when necessary
- They are forward thinking and willing to let go of the past
- They look for ways to make life more fun, happy, and interesting
- They choose how to expend their energy wisely
- They are continually learning and growing towards independence
Back in the late 1990s I did my first quantitative analysis on the subject, using information on 250 managers I had personally hired or recommended for promotion to our clients, mostly in Latin America in those days. I analyzed the correlation of three main candidate variables (experience, IQ, and emotional intelligence) with the person’s performance once on the job and was amazed with the results. When the appointees excelled in experience and IQ but had low emotional intelligence, their failure rate was as high as 25%. However, those people with high emotional intelligence combined with at least one of the other two factors (experience or IQ) only failed in 3%-4% of the cases. In other words, emotional intelligence coupled with high IQ or very relevant experience was a very strong predictor of success. However, highly intelligent or experienced candidates who lacked emotional intelligence were more likely to flame out.
My colleagues soon replicated this analysis for many different geographies and highly diverse cultures, including Japan and Germany, and the results were similar everywhere. People are hired for IQ and experience and fired for failing to manage themselves and others well. (emphasis added)
[The NBER Working Paper] explains three things about the growing importance of social skills: 1) social skills are valued in jobs across the entire wage distribution (as seen in the chart), 2) social skill and cognitive skill complement each other, and 3) jobs that require low levels of social skills are also likely to be routine jobs (filing clerks, factory jobs) at high risk of automation.
- Who inspires you and why?
- If you were starting a company tomorrow, what would be its top three values?
- If business priorities change, describe how you would help your team understand and carry out the shifted goals?
- Did you build lasting friendships while working at another job?
- What skill or expertise do you feel like you’re still missing?
- Can you teach me something as if I’ve never heard of it before? (It can be anything: a skill, a lesson, a puzzle.)
- What are the top three factors you would attribute to your success?
5 Reasons Emotional Intelligence Is so Important for Leaders | Art Rainer
In this article, Art also looks at Goleman’s work on Emotional Intelligence. Here are his 5 reasons:
- You make better decisions
- You treat others better
- You regret less
- You become more trustworthy
- You are more likely to experience success
- They can handle pressure healthily
- They understand and cooperate with others
- They’re good listeners
- They’re more open to feedback
- They’re empathetic
- They set an example for others to follow
- They make more thoughtful and thorough decisions
Emotional Intelligence Has 12 Elements. Which Do You Need to Work On? | Daniel Goleman and Richard E. Boyatzis, Harvard Business Review
Goleman and Boyatzis take a closer look at specific competencies of Emotional Intelligence to help readers get a more well-rounded view of what Emotional Intelligence actually is. Follow their fictional account of a well-liked manager with uneven EI skills to further understand how the domains and competencies apply.
18 Behaviors of Emotionally Intelligent People | Travis Bradberry, Motto
Here are a few favorites from Bradberry’s list:
1. You have a robust emotional vocabulary
2. You’re curious about people
4. You know your strengths and weaknesses
6. You are difficult to offend
7. You know how to say no (to yourself and others)
12. You don’t seek perfection
14. You disconnect
16. You get enough sleep