According to lead researcher Brent Roberts many “subscribe to the idea that once someone reaches adulthood their personality is set for life.” This is particularly true of individuals who are described as neurotic, who struggle with depressed moods, and feelings of guilt, envy, anger, and anxiety. The research found that individuals who were cared for with cognitive behavioral therapy, counseling or medical treatment over 24 weeks changed! Those who struggled with anxiety benefited the most.”
Wisdom for Reading the Proverbs “Facing the difficulties of reading the Proverbs–while knowing that they are necessary for our spiritual growth in grace–here are seven tips on how to get the most out of reading Proverbs.”
Why Are Our Children So Anxious? Sabrina is one of more than 6 million American teens grappling with an anxiety disorder of some kind. While not every child’s experience is as extreme as Sabrina’s, some experts believe this number is actually low, considering that many adolescents don’t always seek treatment. Further, it doesn’t take into account children under 12, whom therapists say are also increasingly facing anxiety that exceeds normal childhood fears and worries.
Finding a Christian counselor, that is–one who is uncompromising on Biblical truths, while well-researched in mental health practices, is a life-giving experience to the hurting soul. Receiving counseling, especially within the Black community, is often seen as weakness. But in fact, there is strength in vulnerability. True strength is found in relying on Christ alone, while walking with others through the process.
I’ll be sharing some of my own experience of digital detox over the coming weeks, but I’d also love to hear your own stories. If you’ve got a story that would challenge, encourage, teach, inspire or warn others, please send it to me using the little blue envelope icon to the right.
Here’s one from former student of mine, Ryan Hurd. Thanks for sharing, Ryan, and thanks for the tip about the Freedom App. I signed up yesterday and I’ll let you all know how it goes.
Hope to see some of you for a Facebook Live on digital detox at 1pm ET today.
At the beginning of last year I’d found myself facing a serious problem. As an editor, researcher, seminary student, et al., (and, dare I also say millennial?), I have been required to sit in front of a screen on average fourteen hours a day; sometimes, more like eighteen (yes, really). My stress had never been higher–and much of it was simply a consequence of being bound by technological dings and whistles. My mind, while previously OCD focused, had changed to being ADHD distracted. I’d hear a beep, and my heart rate would spike–not healthy or holy.
Starving the Addiction
That was when I decided to start purposely and precisely to deal with my problem. Much of it was a heart issue, which I trust the Lord is reworking in me yet today; but, as with all such things, “starving” an addictive appetite involves precisely that: not feeding it.
So I deleted Facebook. I turned off all bells and whistles of my email. My phone was straight up set to “do not disturb” until further notice. Youtube was blocked entirely. Blogs, ignored. Computer, left at the office. Internet, cancelled at home.
A Desperate Plunge
Lo and behold, I survived such a desperate plunge. However, while some things continued and do yet today–i.e., I still often leave my computer at the office, and I enjoy the sweet relief of walking in the door of my home with nothing but my (hardbound!) books to bother me–I soon realized that I needed extra help where I was weak. Besides, still sitting in front of a computer almost the same amount of time per day provided plenty of room for distraction.
One Click, I’m Free!
That was when I started my research for a solution. I tried many different things, concerning which details I won’t bore you, but quickly settled on freedom.to. It’s cheap, and does the job, and I use it every day, multiple times. You can set it very easily to do what you want: what apps you want blocked, or sites; what times you want them blocked, whether on a cycle (i.e., every day from 9:00 am to 10:00 am), or what I call a “session” (i.e., for the next two hours, I’m going to focus). You can set it to be able to be cancelled (mid-session); or, if you’re not strong enough, it can hold you to your decision with a “cannot cancel” button. And, best of all, on one screen of my laptop, in deciding every day how I want to use it, I can select all my devices: iPhone, iPad, and, yes, also my Mac (for you poor Window’s users, it works there too!!). One click. I’m free.
Program Your Heart
Any outside fix is by definition not an internal solution–you can program your time allowances, but you can’t program your heart. Thus, it doesn’t solve the issue in your soul. Go to God for that. However, a program like this can serve your sanctification, and, with the help of the Lord, be used to unleash you from your technological chains.
PS. The freedom.to promo code STAYFREE40 gets you 40% off a subscription. It’s only $29 annually, so that takes you down to $17.40 for a LOT of extra productivity.
Couples Who Stay Married Think Differently From Those Who Divorce “What separates those who choose to stay married from those who don’t is attitude. Your attitude is the single most important determiner of your success in life, be it a job or a relationship. Life will throw you a thousand curve balls. So will marriage. But it isn’t the curve balls that matter—it’s what you do with those curve balls. And what you do stems from how you think.”
Zuckerberg identified himself as an atheist for years, but on Facebook on Christmas he wrote back: “No. I was raised Jewish and then I went through a period where I questioned things, but now I believe religion is very important.”
Reforming a Church Mortification of Spin podcast with Dr Timothy Witmer on how to lead a congregation to Reformed theology.
How long should I preach? Brian Croft says that the answer to this question largely depends on the kind of pastor you are, the quality of preacher you are, and the kind of congregation you serve. He offers three guidelines.
Rewriting our response to stress can take time, but it is possible, and that effort can have a lasting effect on our success and happiness for the rest of our lives. For me, learning the skill of being cool under pressure helped me better navigate unexpected situations both on TV and off, and that has made all the difference in my life and my career.
No one can really aspire to match the intellectual skills of a Jonathan Edwards, but all Christian thinkers can seek to pass on the historic faith to congregations, students, and readers in their place and time. Charles Hodge, in that sense, is one of the heroes of American Christian history.
Your congregation is unhealthy, the pastor is maxed out, and there are no other godly leaders willing to lend a hand with discipleship. You are spinning your wheels, and have tried to help the person for months without any perceived effect. There is a need for medical help. Obviously people should always get medical advice from a doctor, but sometimes people’s physiology is deeply disturbed in a way that can only be explained by a medical issue. You have to disclose information to protect people from abuse or deadly harm, such as a person who is threatening suicide, or confessing to abuse (119).
Friends Your Age Are Not Enough You don’t need to a member of the “Family INtegrated Church” movement to agree that “Age should not build walls. Jesus should tear them down. When we put aside our preference for people just like us, we broadcast the beauty of our shared union with Christ.”
The Gospel of Jesus Christ by Paul Washer. This is a new evangelistic booklet that you can buy in packs of ten.
Video
Faculty Spotlight: Dr Michael Barrett Here’s a neat little video profiling my colleague Dr. Michael Barrett. As a staunch non-reader of blogs, it’s a pity he’ll never see this!
The over-use and abuse of digital media has been a growing burden to me over the past few years and it’s all come to a head over the past six months or so with numerous counseling problems related to digital technology.
What really pushed me over the edge was knowing someone who had been struggling with porn and who was beginning to beat it. But that only created another problem as he simply replaced his obsession with porn with an obsession with social media. Porn was a symptom more than a cause. The deeper problem was simply an addiction to digital technology. He couldn’t leave his phone alone, day or night.
I was also increasingly frustrated with seeing students distracted by technology in the classroom. I’ll write more about this in the future, but last semester I banned all students from using technology in my classes. I’ve never enjoyed a semester of teaching so much in my life, with tremendous interaction and fellowship in almost every class. Thus far, student feedback has been positive too.
I’m 100% convinced that there’s nothing more important for individual Christians than to get digital technology under control. I really mean that. This is going to make or break our Christian lives and our churches for decades to come.
Comments
Judging from the comments and the emails I’ve received in the past few days, it looks like I’ve struck a chord. Here’s a sample:
Last summer I deleted my Facebook and Twitter accounts and cut way back on blogging. Best decision I’ve made in a long time! It was very liberating. Among other benefits my concentration has increased and stress level has decreased. (Diane Bucknell).
These are two benefits I also experienced on my recent vacation when I had something close to a digital fast.
I recently went back to a “dumb phone” because I was struck by seeing in my own life so much of what you stated above. It was eating away at my vitality, even while my own heart tried to “sell” me on all the ways that the tech was useful. For me, once I forced myself to soberly look at what was going on, the benefits could not hold a candle to the detriments. I struggle to get my family to realize the dangers inherent in technology in a loving and caring way – I usually end up teasing them about it so it doesn’t come across as heavy-handed. (Anonymous)
I sympathize with the difficulty in getting family onboard. Heavy-handed just drives it underground. Haven’t tried humor and teasing but maybe worth a try.
It’s also killing our churches. Many churches are losing that ‘up close and personal’ organic relational aspect, where we have real people in our lives during the week. I don’t know about you reader, but to me it feels like not having enough oxygen. I know of several good churches where people are leaving because of this … they may not put it in terms of the oxygen metaphor above, but these people are expiring because something essential to life in the body is missing. (David)
Yes, I should have added this to my first post. Digital technology is also killing our churches. I’m concerned at the number of people using smartphones as their church Bible or to take notes. Unless they use airplane mode, the temptation to check-in while worshipping God is way too much for most of us.
This has been weighing heavy on my mind as we start the new year. I think of how much time I waste on things like Facebook and Twitter and how much that takes away from the truly important things. I am not going to totally disconnect but I plan to severely restrict the amount of time I spend on social media. (Jeff Shealy)
Yes, Jeff. that’s my aim too. I’m not going to starve myself, but I am going to significantly reduce my data intake.
I would think this article would also speak to “gaming” & the amount of time it can consume in a person’s life. (Kathleen Peck)
Yes, gaming should also be included in the detox. It’s not something I’ve ever had a problem with. I confess, I can’t understand the fascination with video games — probably because I’m not very good at them.
A few people pointed out the irony of using digital media to call for a digital detox. I concede it’s somewhat paradoxical but I still believe that we can use digital media to ultimately reduce our digital intake.
Facebook Live
I thought I’d try a Facebook Live on the subject of digital detox. I haven’t done this before but I think it could be a good forum for answering questions, expanding the blog posts, and adding additional material. I’ll be online at 1pm ET. Hope to see you then.
Question
One person asked:
“How would you categorize nonvocational reading of books on a device? And the books I’m thinking about in the question are solid books. I’ll grant that reading tripe is a waste of time whether read in traditional book form or digitally.”
I’ve swung back and forwards on this but I’m definitely moving more to books than ebooks for relaxation reading. I’ve given up trying to read eBooks on my iPad or iPhone because I just cannot concentrate with so many other Apps enticing me. I sometimes use a basic Kindle but I do find paper books put me in a different and better mental state compared to eBooks. For work purposes, I like to use the Kindle Desktop App as it not only allows me to copy and paste but also produces a decent footnote.
Pyromaniacs: The End Frank Turk explains why he’s heading over the horizon and turning his back on blogging. He’s too hard on himself, overstates his case, and paints with too broad a brush. But there’s much truth in what he says and I’ve certainly been carefully and prayerfully weighing his comments.
The Right to Disconnect
France has passed laws giving employees the right to disconnect from work emails during certain hours.
Though ridiculed in some quarters as a ban on work-related email after hours, it is not quite that. But it is born of the enlightened view that it is actually beneficial for people not to work all the time, and that workers have the right to occasionally draw the line when their employer’s demands intrude on evenings at home, treasured vacations or Sundays with friends and family.
3 Things Parents Can Do to Keep Your Kids From Sexting Did you know, sexting is the 6th largest major health concern among children. According to the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, it ranks right below child abuse and of more concern that teen pregnancy and school violence.
Video
Millennials and Social Media Simon Sinek is author of the best-selling Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. In this video he speaks a about a range of issues relating to millennials. At 3.15, he addresses technology and social media use. In hard-hitting comments he argues that this has become a societal addiction and the main reason for poor self-esteem and shallow relationships.
If we’re going to do a digital detox, we want to be able to measure where we’re failing and where we’re making progress. So, what areas should a digital detox focus on? The two main areas to audit are quantity and quality.
QUANTITY
How many hours a day do I spend on my devices? Include all your devices: phone, iPad, laptop, desktop, video game console, etc. Do not include time spent purely for vocational purposes. Include browser time, text time, and App time.
How many times a day do I use my devices? Someone may not spend 10 hours a day online but they may be ruining their day by checking into Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and email fifty times a day. That’s not an exaggeration, by the way. According to Time magazine, the average American checks their phone 46 times a day and for the average teen, it’s 74 checks a day.
QUALITY
How useful/valuable/productive/healthy is the time I spend using my devices? This is not just a question about whether some activity is moral or immoral, but whether it is wise or foolish, important or trivial, valuable or worthless.
There are different digital ways of measuring these habits. I’ve regularly used Toggl to audit myself. Also, some of the Internet Accountability apps and plug-ins can provide some of this information. However, as we’re trying to reduce our dependence on technology, it’s probably best to use a simple index card.
AUDIT
Start each day with a fresh card and divide it into six columns:
Column 1: Your first digital check-in is #1, your second is #2, and so on.
Column 2: Start time
Column 3: Finish time
Column 4: Total time (difference between column two and three)
Column 5: Grade each check-in on a scale of 1-3 for how useful/valuable/productive/healthy/necessary was the time spent with 1 being the most useful and 3 the least. (I’ve reversed this scoring for reasons that I’ll explain next week).
Column 6: Leave this blank for just now and next week I’ll show you how to fill this in and how to use the data on each card
Even just recording this information should have immediate benefits. I’ve given this and similar exercises to a number of people, and every single one of them has said that they were shocked to discover how many times they were going online, how long they were spending there, and how most of what they were doing was such a waste of time.
Just doing this simple exercise made an immediate impact on the quantity and quality of digital data they consumed.
Now, a deep digital detox is going to require a much more sophisticated and complex audit to produce long-term results in every area of life. We’ll get on to that in coming weeks. But use this as a starting point.
I’ll be doing a Facebook Live event on Friday at 1pm ET to talk about the Digital Detox and to answer your questions. This might seem a bit ironic — starting a digital detox with more Facebook! However, I’m hoping that more will ultimately produce less. I’m also hoping that building a temporary community of digital detoxers will encourage us through the withdrawal symptoms.
7 Keys to an Effective Church Social Media Strategy Like any other ministry in the church, social media needs planning (a strategy), people (someone in charge), and a purpose (measurable goals) to be effective.
