How Successful People Stay Calm

November 20, 2014 David Murray

Dr. Travis Bradbury, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, has listed 10 strategies that successful people use to deal with stress. In summary:

They Appreciate What They Have: People who work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and physical well-being.

They Avoid Asking “What If?” The more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action that will calm you down and keep your stress under control.

They Stay Positive. Give your brain a break from stress by identifying one positive thing that has happened, no matter how small.

They Disconnect. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors…Choose blocks of time where you cut the cord and go offline.

They Limit Their Caffeine Intake. Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, allowing your emotions to overrun your behavior.

They Sleep. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep.

They Squash Negative Self-Talk. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.

They Reframe Their Perspective. Stress and worry are fueled by our own skewed perception of events. So before you spend too much time dwelling on something, take a minute to put the situation in perspective.

They Breathe. Close the door, put away all other distractions, and just sit in a chair and breathe. The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on your breathing, which will prevent your mind from wandering.

They Use Their Support System. To be calm and productive, you need to recognize your weaknesses and ask for help when you need it.

Read the whole article here.

“You are cured of MS!”

November 19, 2014 David Murray

Some of you may recall how earlier this year I wrote about Trent Timmer, a young man in my congregation who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in June 2012. Through an amazing series of providences, Trent was admitted to a revolutionary treatment program that recently resulted in him being told by his doctor, “You are cured of MS!” His father, my friend Gary Timmer, wrote the following testimony to our congregation last Sunday and I wanted to share this God-glorifying witness with you.

Dear friends,

I want to tell you a truly blessed story of how the Lord made it possible that Trent Timmer had been told by Dr. Burt, from Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, on October 22, 2014, “You are cured of MS.”

Psalm 107:21-22

“Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.”

After many years of Trent going to multiple doctors, on June 6, 2012, Trent heard the devastating news that he had MS.

Of course the news was devastating for Trent. We as family felt like Trent’s life was in jeopardy. We really did not know how to comfort Trent because, as parents, having a child with a disease was something altogether new for us. Of course, we showed him all the love we could and directed him to put his care in God’s hands but we never could know what trial Trent was really going through.

Here are the steps God ordered for Trent’s recovery:

1. God made sure that a friend from church (Carol Prince) was listening to a certain radio station in which she heard about a certain procedure Dr. Burt was doing for cancer and MS. This seemingly little piece of information reminded me of the Bible story of the captive young girl who waited on Naaman’s wife. This girl told of a prophet that could heal her master. And with this small piece of information, great things happened. 2 Kings 5 verse 2-4.

2. Carol took note of this and told me at church.

3. I remembered and told Trent that evening.

4. Trent went online and applied to be included in this research study even though he did not meet the requirements which were that in the previous year he would have had to have been hospitalized twice, taking steroid injections. Trent had only had this procedure done once in the previous year.

5. God inclined the heart of the doctor to invite Trent to come to Chicago for an interview even though he did not qualify. Julie, Trent and I went, but we wondered why Trent was invited when he did not meet the requirements of the study.

6. After Dr. Burt looked at a fresh MRI showing more spots on Trent’s brain, he spent less than 5 minutes with Trent and said “you don’t qualify for this study” and walked out of the room.

7. After Dr. Burt and the nurses interviewed many people to discuss who of the 48 people they would choose for this study, God inclined their hearts to decide to do a stem cell transplant on Trent. This was not part of the study but they decided to do this for him as a special case. They contacted us and told us the good news but said you must first send in $125,000 before we will schedule this. At this time I did not have the needed funds.

8. The Lord inclined the hearts of the people in our church to give at a special collection and also a group of young teenage girls had an idea to have a baked good sale to bring in a combined $35,000; a very generous gift from their hard work and hard earned money. We were told that if we could switch our insurance to a company “Aetna” there would be a possibility they would pay for the procedure. Julie (my wife) worked on this for 4 months and it seemed impossible. All this time Trent is becoming very anxious because if he would go into the next stage of MS, the Doctor would not do this procedure.

9. After hearing a sermon message, preached at church, about the Lord being in control of even the smallest details of our life, that evening Trent told me that even though he would not choose to have this disease, it had taught him to pray. This was a very great thing because now Trent was starting to look outside of human hands.

10. The next morning at 9:00 am, I got a phone call from a friend and he said that he had $90,000 for us so Trent could get this procedure done. There is absolutely no way the Lord did not incline this man’s heart to call at this time. Even a blind man with no eyes would be able to see this clearly. The man knew we needed this money but I believe God wanted Trent to come to a certain place in his life before this door would open.

11. We called the hospital and they got Trent in within 2 weeks. They told us to send in the $35,000 but wait on the $90,000 because “we think your new insurance company will accept you and will pay for the procedure.” Because of “Obama-Care” the insurance company had to take Trent even though he had pre-existing conditions. Our friend never had to write a check, and recently the $35,000 from the church was returned to the church. Friends of the family who live in Illinois offered use of their condo for the two month time frame that Trent would be in Chicago. The condo was located 2 blocks from the hospital.

12. God blessed this procedure. Every movement of the doctor’s hand and every cell in Trent’s body the Lord directed so Trent is cured today. When you see Trent, look at him as a walking testimony of what the Lord did for his body but also believe that He can do this for every soul that calls out to him. Mark 2:9 “Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?” He can make the impossibilities possible. The Bible is full of examples. He is the same God. When you don’t see a way out, search God’s word for a word from Him to you. He never will go back on His word. One word that God speaks to your soul is worth more than 10 thousand words from man.

Psalm 34:8

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Psalm 68:20

“He that is our God is the God of salvation; and unto God the Lord belong the issues from death.”

Thanks so much for praying for Trent!

The Lord heard YOUR prayer.

Sincerely,

Trent’s father.

You can read more about Dr Burt and see videos about the treatment here. Once this treatment is approved and becomes available to many more, it will drastically cut the cost of MS treatment, which in many cases can amount to more than $100,000 a year in drug costs.

John MacArthur on Helps and Hindrances to Joy

November 13, 2014 David Murray

“It is my understanding of the character and nature of God that anchors my joy.” John MacArthur.

In a sermon on Rejoice Always (1 Thess. 5:16), John MacArthur listed eight sources of joy and then six thieves of joy. I’ve summarized them below but you can read or hear the whole sermon here.

Sources of Joy

1. The character of God. It is my understanding of the character and nature of God that anchors my joy.

2. Appreciation for the work of Jesus Christ. My favorite definition of a Christian? Somebody who worships in the Spirit of God, rejoices in Christ Jesus, and puts no confidence in the flesh (Phil. 3:3).

3. The ministry of the Holy Spirit. How can I not rejoice when I know the Spirit of God is leading me to understand the truth?

4. Spiritual blessings. Paul tells the Ephesians that God gives us everything we need out of the abundance of His riches. There’s only one reasonable response to that and that is joy, deep down joy.

5. Divine providence. Because God is a God of absolute sovereign providence, I rejoice because nothing is outside His plan.

6. Answered prayer. I rejoice that God answers prayer (John 16:24). That in itself is enough to keep the joy flowing.

7. The truth of Scripture. When the Word of Christ dwells in me richly, I end up speaking in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody and rejoicing in my heart because of the truth (Col. 3:16).

8. Christian fellowship. I don’t mind being around unconverted people, but I prefer to be with believers because there is a level of joy that I don’t experience with non-believers (1 Thess. 3:9).

Thieves of Joy

MacArthur says, “If you’re not rejoicing, there are maybe some reasons.”

1. You’re not a Christian: If there’s no joy in a Christian’s life that may be good evidence that that person is not a Christian, because this is a gift from God through Christ planted in the heart. There’s a well of joy in the believer.

2. Ignorance can steal your joy. If you have an aberrant theology, no wonder you don’t have any joy. Bad theology steals joy. If you believe you can lose your salvation, that will make you unhappy.

3. False expectations will steal your joy. If you expect Jesus to make you always healthy, wealthy, and happy, these are false expectations and a deadly setup.

4. Forgetfulness will steal your joy. It’s really good to just remember and remember and remember and remember the history of God’s goodness throughout redemptive history as well as throughout your life because it helps you draw from the well of joy.

5. Self-absorption will steal your joy. If you start worrying about all the little things in life that aren’t the way we want them, that will steal your joy. Narcissistic self-centeredness and self-analysis, getting all caught up in trying to interpret every little thing in your life – that will steal it.

6. Being ruled by your feelings will steal your joy. Instead, let truth control you and your feelings.

“The joyful Christian thinks more of his Lord than his personal difficulties, more of his spiritual riches in Christ than his poverty on earth, and more of his glorious fulfillment in heaven than his present pain. Therein lies our joy.” John MacArthur.

12 Ways to Make (and Keep) Friends

November 7, 2014 David Murray

OK, so you read yesterday’s post and now you’re motivated to pursue biblical friendship, but how? What do I do now? Thankfully, Jonathan Holmes’s excellent new book on biblical friendships is packed with tips on how to make, cultivate, and keep friends. Here are a few I picked out.

1. Cultivate the greatest friendship.

“As the first and most important step, be encouraged in your friendship with Jesus Christ. Our Savior died for you so he could call you a friend! He is the faithful friend, the supreme friend. So cry out to him. Ask for the ability to understand biblical friendship better, and as a result to receive the grace and courage to pursue others with a glad heart.” (28)

Cistercian monk, Aelred of Rievaulx said: “[Friendships] take their beginning from Christ, advance through Christ, and are perfected in Christ.”

2. Don’t make an idol of friendships.

“When we make a good thing into an ultimate thing, it becomes a bad thing. (39)

3. Change the measure of your life.

“When we reflect on our lives, they are measured not by our incomes or good works, but by our relationships— by our friendships.” (Ed Welch quoted on p. 13).

4. Beware of substitutes.

“There are three substitutes we frequently take for the real thing: social media friendships, specialized friendships [based on a common interest or activity], and selfish [purely what I can get out of it] friendships.” (32)

“Technology, social media, and common interests are helpful contexts and tools to help facilitate friendship, but friendship itself is always more than these.” (41)

5. Prepare for disappointments and discomfort.

The book opens with typical stories of Christians who have been disappointed and frustrated in finding, making, and keeping Christian friends.

“This begins to get to the core of the problem: our sinful desire for control. We want friendships on our timetable, our terms of agreement. We do not want friendships that would move us out of our comfort zone.” (34)

6. Give the grace you have received.

“If our individual walks with the Lord are so characterized by instability, imperfection, and weakness, why should we imagine that biblical friendships must somehow be seamless and perfect to be legitimate?” (97)

7. Read the Proverbs.

Flee jealousy (Prov. 6:34; 27:4)
Be loyal (Prov. 20:6; 18:24)
Be truthful/honest (Prov. 28:23)
Keep confidences (Prov. 11:13)

8. Seek and promote spiritual good.

“The willingness to engage in biblical candor for the sake of another’s spiritual good is one way in which biblical friendship is obviously and dramatically different from those worldly substitutes that typically ignore unpleasant subjects.” (53)

9. Ask good questions.

Here are some practical kick-starter questions, best asked thoughtfully and graciously:

How can I pray for you?
Where are you struggling?
Where have you experienced God’s grace in your struggle?
Where has God been up to good in your life recently?
What is bringing joy to your heart?
Where do you see me growing spiritually?
How can I be a better friend to you? (69)

10. Work it out in ordinary life.

“By ‘redeeming ordinary moments,’ I simply mean that some of the regular activities of daily life can be enhanced as we do them with others. Everyday life can be experienced on a different level when shared in the context of biblical friendship.” (98)

11. Recognize your psychological bandwidth is limited.

“In his humanity, Jesus had limitations on his time and ‘psychological bandwidth,’ just like you and I do. God chose to show us in his Word that even the divine Son could only maintain a limited number of what we are calling biblical friendships.” (84)

12. Dedicate time.

“In his book A Meal With Jesus, Tim Chester records a 33 percent decrease in families eating together over the last 30 years and a 45 percent decrease in friends doing so.” (67)

“If we want to have biblical friendships, we need to be people who relish the opportunity simply to talk. Ask yourself, Can I really expect to have a decent friendship of any kind— much less a biblical one— with someone I rarely talk to? Or someone I don’t talk to about my actual joys and struggles?” (66-67)

Our friendships should be better, deeper, richer than anything the world enjoys.

The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship by Jonathan Holmes.

A Christian Tightrope Walker?

November 4, 2014 David Murray

wallenda

Record-breaking daredevil Nik Wallenda completed Sunday what he called his most challenging feat to date: a tightrope walk between two skyscrapers 600 feet above downtown Chicago, partly blindfolded. (CNN)

The Skyscraper Live walk was broadcast on The Discovery Channel and follows previous live broadcasts of his tightrope walks across the Grand Canyon and the Niagara Falls. As usual, Wallenda frequently prayed to God and spoke of Christ’s help before, during, and after the walk. Many Christians rejoiced to hear God being praised in such a spectacular way before a watching TV and Internet audience of millions of people.

Which raises huge questions. Can you be a “Christian Tightrope Walker.” Is tightrope-walking a legitimate Christian vocation? Does repeatedly mentioning God sanctify whatever job we do? Or are there certain vocations that Christians should not pursue? If so, are there biblical guidelines for helping us to decide which jobs are legitimate for a Christian? I believe there are four such guidelines, and I’d like to measure Wallenda’s chosen vocation against them.

Can I glorify God in this job? To glorify God is to make Him more famous; it’s to advance His reputation, and to lift up His Name. Conversely, my vocation should not do anything to obscure God’s beauty or reputation.

Although Wallenda mentioned God lots of times, and many Christians said that this was a great witness, I’m sure many non-Christians thought, “What kind of God thinks this is a good idea?” Did their view of God really improve?

Also, is saying God’s name a lot really the same as glorifying God? We can be doing that while all the time actually be trying to glorify ourselves. Interestingly, for all of Wallenda’s praising of God, he did let slip in a previous interview: “I don’t know what people will say about me 100 years from now, but it’s got to be pretty impressive.”

Remember the Devil once took Christ to a high building and tempted him by suggesting that He could publicly prove God’s care for Him by throwing himself off the pinnacle and surviving. Remember Christ’s response?

Can I do good to others in this job? Our vocation should be helpful to our society and contribute something worthwhile to our community. That also means that we should not do anything that might unnecessarily harm others.

Wallenda estimates that these kinds of tightrope walks generate millions in TV and tourism revenue. He also entertained multitudes. So, does money + entertainment = good to others? While there’s nothing wrong with making money and entertaining people, neither of these are enough to qualify a job as “loving our neighbor” by contributing something worthwhile to our community. Money and entertainment may be the by-products of a legitimate Christian vocation, but they hardly constitute one.

Also, what about the power of example? Do we really want to inspire others, perhaps kids, to try tightrope walking in their backyards or across ravines?

Did God give me the talent for this job? God does not call us to a vocation without supplying us with the necessary gifts.

Some have therefore argued, “Well, if God gave Wallenda the gifts, he would be wrong not to use them.” But did God give Wallenda the gift of tightrope walking?

He certainly gave him amazing gifts of courage, emotional control, agility, hand-eye coordination, perseverance, etc. But it was Wallenda who turned these gifts towards tightrope walking. Just because we have the gifts for something does not mean we are obliged to do it. I mean, if God has gifted you (certainly not me) with a beautiful body and a sense of rhythm, does that mean you’re called to be a stripper?

There are many men with similar gifts to Wallenda, who are sacrificially dedicating them to the service of their country in special operations in faraway lands.

Can I obey God in this job? Even if we think that our job glorifies God, helps others, and uses our talents, if it is against God’s Word, then it is illegitimate for a Christian.

“But where in the Bible does it forbid Christian tightrope walkers?” (I can hardly believe I just wrote that sentence!) Well, the sixth commandment, “You shall not kill,” covers far more than murdering. It simply selects the worst manifestation of this category of evil for prohibition. It also includes lesser evils such as rejecting or neglecting lawful means to preserve our lives and the lives of others.*

Wallenda may be a Christian, and he may be a tightrope walker, but he’s not a “Christian tightrope walker.” There’s no such thing.

*See summary expositions of the Bible teaching together with Scripture proof verses in Westminster Shorter Catechism 68 & 69, and Larger Catechism 135 & 136.

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