Listen here
0:00 Intro
0:17 What’s life all about (1 Corinthians 8:4-6)
3:45 What are you thirsty for? by Merbieth Schierbeek
8:15 Resources to Change our Story with God’s Story
Encouragement for the Depressed
New Name Written Down in Glory
Hallelujah Christ Shall Come Again.
Visit thestorychanger.life for more resources on changing our story with God’s Story.
INTRODUCTION
The Democrats complain about “disinformation” while the Republicans complain about “Fake news.” Everyone feels the pain of a society in which lies abound and truth is rare. This lack of truth creates a crisis of confidence as we can’t find anyone we can trust or rely on. We don’t know what to believe or think or how to act. In frustration, we cry out, “What is truth?” and “Where is truth?”
BACKGROUND
The ninth commandment, like many of the other commandments, highlight one of the the worst sins in the category. But being a false witness in court does not exhaust this commandment. It’s just one of the more serious examples in this category of moral evil.
Each of the commandments reveal and reflect God’s character. The ninth one reveals God as the God of truth. He is the creator, preserver, promoter, lover, and blesser of truth. Conversely, he is the sworn enemy of lies and the father of lies, the devil (John 8:44). We are called to receive and believe God’s truth and also to reveal and reflect it in our lives. If we do, we will be as blessedly confident as God is.
What is truth?
1. TRUTH IS RARE
We start by looking at what the Reformed confessions and catechisms teach about what this commandment requires and forbids. Here’s a synthesis of the Heidelberg Catechism 112, Shorter Catechism 77-78, and Larger Catechism 144-145 as they summarize and simplify the Bible’s teaching:
The ninth commandment requires the
A WITNESS
All situations that involve judgment as to what the truth is: courts, tribunals, church discipline, family discipline, marital disputes.
Required
Forbidden
A NEIGHBOR
Required
Forbidden
OURSELVES
Required
Forbidden
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
We live in a world of lies. Weep and mourn over the loss of truth, our contribution to that loss, and the impact upon our world, our institutions, our families, our relationships, and our psyche.
Worship the God of Truth. We don’t need to ask “What is truth?” because Jesus said, “I am the truth” (John 14:6). The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth who leads us into the truth (John 16:13).
Tell the truth no matter the cost. We will all be confronted with choices in our lives, where we have to choose between truth and money, truth and family, truth and our business, truth and friends, truth and church. At such times we need to hear this commandments authoritative voice.
TRUTH IS A TREASURE
SO TREASURE THE TRUTH
Looks like telling the truth is not much fun. How is it a pleasure?
2. TRUTH IS FREEDOM
There is a lie at the core of every enslaving addiction. It doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is – drink, drugs, food, porn, spending, people-pleasing, people-critiquing, control, digital technology, etc. – lies are at the heart of them all. That’s why Jesus said to religious addicts, ”You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32). The only way to deliver addicts is to rip out these lies and replace them with truth. Here’s a sampling of the lies that addicts tell; and a sampling of the truths that can root them out and replace them.
Lies About God
Lie: God is not Good. He’s just being a spoilsport in forbidding this sin. The sin is good and God is bad.
Truth: God is good to all and does good to all. His law is an expression of his goodness (Ps. 145:9; Rom. 7:12).
Lie: God is not all-seeing. He can’t really see me when I do this.
Truth: God sees all people, all things, all events, at all times (Ps. 139:1-16; Prov. 15:3)
Lie: God is not judge. He will not call me to account for this.
Truth: We will give account for every deed done or not done, in public and in private (2 Cor. 5:10; Rom. 2:16)
Lie: God is not Savior. I’ve sinned too much for God to save me. There’s no point in even trying to be saved.
Truth: Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. (Rom. 10:13; 1 John 1:9; John 6:37)
Lie: God is not enough. God will not satisfy me as sin does.
Truth: There is more than enough in God to satisfy the hungriest and thirstiest soul (Ps. 63:3-5; John 7:37)
Lies About Self
Lie: I don’t have a problem. I mean I sin, even quite a lot, but it’s not an addiction.
Truth: Whoever commits sin (lit. continues to practice sin) is a slave of sin (Rom. 6:16; John 8:34).
Lie: I’m not as bad as others.
Truth: Our standard of comparison is God’s Word, not other people (2 Cor. 10:12).
Lie: It’s not harming me.
Truth: Every sin hardens our hearts (Heb. 3:13) and ultimately ends in death (James 1:15).
Lie: I cannot change and I cannot escape.
Truth: God always provides an escape route and he can give real freedom to anyone (1 Cor. 10:13; John 8:36).
Lies about Sin
Lie: This habit makes me happy.
Truth: Maybe, but it’s a very brief and fleeting happiness that leaves a bitter taste (Heb. 11:24-26).
Lie: This helps me forget my past.
Truth: The most important thing is for God to forget your past (Heb. 8:12).
Lie: Now is not a good time to stop.
Truth: Now is the accepted time, today is the day of salvation (2 Cor. 6:2).
Lies About Others
Lie: Those condemning me and trying to stop me are my enemies.
Truth: Those who try to stop you sinning are actually your best friends and they’re doing you a great kindness (Prov. 27:6; Ps. 141:5).
Lie: It’s my parents’/abuser’s/husband’s/wife’s fault.
Truth: When Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake, God blamed and punished all of them (Gen 3:14-19; Ezek. 18:20). The soul that sins, it shall die.
Lie: This doesn’t affect others.
Truth: Do you need a Bible verse for this? Just ask those around you what the truth is.
Whatever you are addicted to, try to find the lies at its heart and then attack them with God’s powerful truth. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Target lies. Who are you telling lies to? What lies are you telling? How are these lies ensnaring and enslaving you? Identify these lies, zoom in on them, see their danger, then drone them with truth.
Tell the truth. I know someone who was abused as a child by his parents. For years he denied it, minimized it, excused it, explained it away, and above all, tried to forget it. He was getting sicker and sicker – spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally. Telling himself the truth about what happened was initially extremely painful, but was the catalyst for long-term healing. He now helps others who have been abused and continually reminds them, “The truth will set you free.”
TRUTH IS NOT FREE
BUT IT FREES
I want freedom but truth sounds like hard work. What if truth promised you peace as well?
3. TRUTH IS PEACE
Peace of conscience
Twice in my life I’ve had major decisions to make about whether to tell the truth or cover up the truth. The first time it was a Christian denomination. The second time was a Christian institution. Both were cases that involved the sexual abuse of Christian women and both times the majority of Christians involved decided to choose the easier path of covering up the truth with lies. Going along with each cover-up would have been the easier path: less confrontation, less fighting, less stress, less anxiety, less sleep, less friends, less loss. But it would also have meant less peace of conscience.
Therefore, by God’s grace alone, I chose the path of telling the truth. Whatever else I lost – my ministry, my reputation, my security, etc – I did not lose my peace of conscience (Acts 24:16). Someone once said, “Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.” It’s also what feels so good when everything else feels so bad.
What a joy to have such peaceful conscience, a conscience informed by truth that that can look forward to the resurrection and final judgment with hope. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Mr Honest arranged for Good-conscience to meet him at the Jordan to help him over to “the other side.” We hope we will be able to do the same when we close our eyes for the last time. As an old Puritan said: “There is no pillow so soft as a good conscience.” A good conscience can sleep in thunder.
Peace of mind
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). Two slices of peace (7,9) sandwich the meat of verse eight. If we don’t eat the meat of verse 8, we won’t have the peace sandwich (7,9). If we let what is false, offensive, dishonest, filthy, ugly, and loathsome into our minds, we might as well sign up for a course on how to be hyper-anxious. The catechism teach us that the ninth commandment requires the “studying and practicing of whatever things are true, honest, lovely, and of good report.” Think about these things,” commanded Paul. “Concentrate and focus on these subjects, form rigorous thinking habits along these lines.” It’s not an option. It’s a command for our good.
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Educate your conscience. Educate your conscience with the Law of God. Martin Luther said, “My conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.” Also, educate your conscience with the Gospel, so you can enjoy perfect and permanent peace (Heb. 10:22)
Educate your mind. The original meaning of ‘educate’ is ‘to lead out.’ We are not to be passively led about by others, but we’re to actively lead our minds into what is true and good for personal peace.
TRUE PEACE
IS TRUTH PEACE
SUMMARY
A NEW CHAPTER
Children: Remember, every lie makes the next one easier.
Teens: Objective truth exists. “Your truth” and “my truth” do not exist. You’ve got the Truth, now give the Truth.
Parents: Disciple with truth and discipline according to Truth.
Liars: Remember Peter’s triple lie and triple forgiveness that led to triple usefulness. But also remember the warning in the last chapter of the Bible (Rev. 22:15)
Discipleship: Discipleship is about knowing, believing, speaking, and living the Truth in such a way that others want to know, believe, speak, and live the Truth.
Worship: God desires that we worship him in Spirit and in Truth because God is truth (Jn. 4:23). Psalm 119 is one long praise of the God who is the Truth. What a relief in a world of lies.
Jesus: Our Savior is the perfect embodiment of this commandment. Knowing that we would lie from the moment we are born (Ps. 58:3; Jn. 8:44), he came as Truth in a world of lies, and not only lived a Truth-FULL life but died so that we who are lie-FULL may be forgiven.
Prayer: God of Truth, give me Truth and truthfulness so that I can give the Truth to those who desperately need truth freedom and truth peace.
How should we relate to sin in the world and sin and the church? Here’s Paul’s answer.
Visit thestorychanger.life for more resources on changing our story with God’s Story.
INTRODUCTION
Of all the commandments, our culture views the seventh commandment more than any other as a pleasure-killer. How can purity produce pleasure?
We’re going to answer that question first by looking at the pain of impurity then at the pleasure of purity.
BACKGROUND
We need to keep returning to the four R’s: Redemption > Relationship > Rules > Reward. We won’t be able to keep God’s rules or get God’s reward is we don’t start with redemption by God and relationship with God.
How does the seventh commandment produce pleasure?
1. IMPURITY IS PAIN
As usual we want to start by looking at our confessions and catechisms’ teaching about what this commandment requires and forbids. We’ll use the Westminster Larger Catechism (see also HC 108-9)
LC 138 The duties required in the Seventh Commandment are:
LC 139 The sins forbidden in the Seventh Commandment are:
Having summarized the Bible’s teaching about what the seventh commandment requires and forbids, we want to ask, “Why?” Why does God forbid these sins and require these duties? As Sovereign, God is not required to give us an answer. His authority is sufficient. But he does explain why: It’s because he wants to maximize our happiness. Let’s consider the damage that immorality does to us, others, our society.
Physical damage
Emotional damage
Mental damage
Relational damage
Social damage
Spiritual damage
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost.Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost.Count the cost. Count the cost.Count the cost. Count the cost. Count the cost.
SHORT-TERM TINGLES
LONG-TERM TERROR
That’s the cost of impurity. How is purity profitable?
2. PURITY IS A PLEASURE
The “purity” we’re talking about here is not the legalistic, will-powered, self-righteous, external purity of popular “purity culture.” It’s the Gospel-fueled, Spirit-empowered, humble, inner and outer purity of the Bible. Law-purity will give you a happier life than an impure life. But law-purity is a limited pleasure compared to the maximal pleasure of Gospel-purity.
God’s pleasure in purity
God designed the exclusive loyal physical intimacy between a married couple (one man and one woman) for maximum pleasure. It did not just have a functional aim of procreation but a pleasure aim of recreation. When he first saw the results, he said “Very good!” He even left this good gift with us after the fall (1 Tim. 4:4).
Christ used the covenanted physical intimacy between a married couple (one man and one woman) to describe his greatest pleasure, that is the union between himself and his people (Ephesians 5:22-33).
The Holy Spirit inspired Song of Solomon in which the physical relationship between a married couple is celebrated in and of itself, and also as it points to the spiritual relationship between God and his people. The Holy Spirit also maximizes the pleasure of physical intimacy in marriage by applying the Gospel to take away guilt, shame, and fear, and replace them with joy, confidence, peace.
If marriage is not God’s plan for us, we can know that God takes massive pleasure in our loyal faithful commitment to him (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). A single person’s pure and total devotion to the Lord gives God even greater pleasure than a married couple’s divided devotion does.
Our Pleasure in Purity
God’s pleasure in purity is the foundation of our pleasure in purity. Knowing how much delight he gets from it should give us great delight in it too. But here are some practical helps to maximizing pleasure in marriage:
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Enjoy the pleasure. Enjoy the pleasure. Enjoy the pleasure. Enjoy the pleasure. Enjoy the pleasure.
PURE PLEASURE IS
THE PUREST PLEASURE
SUMMARY
A NEW CHAPTER
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How have you seen impurity produce pain in your life, others’ lives, or in our culture?
2. In what other ways does impurity produce pain?
3. What other Bible passages show the pleasure of purity and the pain of impurity?
4. How did this sermon change your view of God?
5. Who can you help that is struggling in this area and how will you help them?
6. How will this sermon change your singleness, relationships, marriage, parenting?
INTRODUCTION
What do you think when you hear these words: ‘submission,’ ‘obedience,’ ‘respect,’ and ‘authority’? Maybe the following words come to mind: ‘abuse,’ ‘pain,’ ‘bullying,’ ‘humiliation,’ ‘weakness,’ and so on. Probably the last word that comes to mind is ‘pleasure.’ I have a huge task on my hands today to convince you of the pleasure of submission, obedience, respect, and honoring of authority. How can we find pleasure in submission?
BACKGROUND
The fifth commandment is often seen as the hinge commandment. The first four commandments direct us in how to find pleasure in loving God. The fifth commandment begins a pivot towards how to find pleasure in loving our neighbor. But, it’s not a full 180 degree turn because we are honoring and submitting to God when we honor and submit to the authorities he has set over us.
Why are submission and obedience so often associated with pain rather than pleasure? Because it often lacks the vital foundation of equality.
1. WE FIND PLEASURE IN OUR EQUAL IDENTITY
When we turn to our historic Reformed catechisms and their summaries of the biblical teaching in this commandment, we find one missing word and two potentially misleading words. Let’s investigate.
Q. Who are meant by father and mother in the fifth commandment?
A. ‘Father and mother’ mean not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and those whom God has put in authority over us, whether in family, church, workplace, or state.
Q. Why are superiors called Father and Mother?
A. Superiors are called Father and Mother, to teach them to treat inferiors with love and tenderness and to teach inferiors to cheerfully perform their duties.
Did you spot the missing word? It’s equality. There is no mention of the essential equality of every human being. We are equally made in the image of God with equal value, worth, dignity, and identity. In this sense, the richest are equal to the poorest, the mightiest are equal to the weakest, the beautiful are equal to the ugly, the old are equal to the young, the educated are equal to the uneducated. Whatever side of any relationship we find ourselves in—parents or children, employers or employees, teachers or students, husbands or wives, governor or governed, pastor or sheep, abortion doctor or baby in the womb—we are all equal in our personhood, equally valuable, equally worthy of respect, equal in our essential identity as God’s image bearers.
In the absence of this word ‘equality,’ can you now see the misleading words (at least in our cultural context)? ‘Superiors’ and ‘inferiors.’ Without the explicit foundation of an equality in identity, these words about our roles can become words about our identity. If we start viewing ourselves as essentially superior we will look down on and abuse those we have authority over. If we view ourselves as essentially inferior, we will become a passive doormat for people to walk all over us while resenting anyone who has authority over us.
When we begin with the foundation of equality in our identity (who we are) we can then safely build on that the different functions and roles (what we do) which place us in higher or lower levels of authority.
Despite the missing and potentially misleading words, the catechisms do include words that imply equal identity and dignity. Those in authority are required:
n addition to these requirements, they are forbidden:
The Catechisms also teach that “superiors are called Father and Mother, to teach them to treat inferiors with love and tenderness.” The parent/child relationship is the first and most important relationship and shapes all others. It’s where we learn to submit to authority and how to wield authority. The family, not the State, is the basic building block in society. As the power of the one rises, the other falls, which is why Statists are so determined to destroy the family.
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Find pleasure in the essential equality of all. This essential equality in identity is a beautiful relationship-transforming truth which will prevent all abuses and distortions of functional submission.
Fight the pain of abusive authority. Without the word ‘equality’ or without a true biblical understanding of ‘inferior’ and ‘superior’ (not who we are but what we do), we will see terrible pain inflicted by authorities upon those they have power over. This is a disgusting misrepresentation of biblical truth often portrayed as biblical fidelity. Let’s fight against that wherever it is found: spiritual abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, economic abuse, political abuse, and so on.
Functional inequality must be anchored in essential equality.
OK, I understand how I can get pleasure in equal identity. But how is there any pleasure in unequal roles?
2. WE FIND PLEASURE IN OUR UNEQUAL ROLES
There are pains that come from our unequal roles. Those in authority have the pain of multiple responsibilities, heavy burdens, constant problems, hard questions, tough decisions, providing paychecks, etc. Those under authority have the pain of lack of control, lack of power, lack of choice, lack of self-will, lack of autonomy. However, there are more pleasures than pains in God’s ordering of society with a functional inequality. Let’s look at what’s required of in these unequal roles and then notice at the different pleasures that result.
Different Roles
What does the fifth commandment require?
What’s involved in preserving the honor of superiors and performing the duties to them?
What’s forbidden?
Different Pleasures
Just in case we might think that this all sounds like a misery rather than a pleasure, God attaches a promise to this command, the first command with a a promise. He must have anticipated the challenges independent, freedom-loving Americans would have with this commandment. The reason annexed to the fifth commandment is a promise of long life and prosperity (as far as it shall serve for God’s glory and their own good) to all such as keep this commandment. This isn’t just about quantity of life but also quality of life. And it’s true generally, but not without exceptions.
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Obey God by obeying God’s authorities. Obedience to human authority reflects our obedience to God’s authority. This is part of our devotion to God, one of the ways we love God.
Find pleasure in honoring authority. We can find happiness not only in the consequences of obedience but in the obedience itself. We are doing it for the Lord, as if the Lord was the authority in our marriage, home, workplace, nation.
God-centered obedience brings God-centered pleasure
A NEW CHAPTER
Gospel: Submit to Jesus Christ as Lord. Don’t just call him Lord but serve & obey him as Lord. Becoming a Christian is coming under God’s authority.
Jesus: Jesus obeyed this command perfectly both as a superior and an inferior in his relationships with his parents, siblings, teachers, employers, disciples, government, etc. Knowing his God-given identity he submitted to serve others (Jn. 13:3-5).
Church: Let’s model this in our church. Call to pastors, elders, deacons, and other leaders to use authority well, and let us all submit to godly leadership with joy for joy.
Identity: No matter how high you rise or low you fall remember your equal identity with higher-uppers and lower-downers. The Christian can further expand upon the dignity of their identity: I am forgiven, I am loved by God, I am a child of God, etc.
Monday: Look for opportunities to obey this command in your roles and relationships in your family, your workplace, the nation. And notice the fourfold pleasure that results.
Prayer: Lord of all, help me to honor you by honoring those you have given as authorities.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What have been good experiences and bad experience of authority in your life?
2. Where do you have authority and how do you exhibit essential equality?
3. What can you do t stop abusive authority in your life and that of others?
4. Which of the ‘forbiddings’ and ‘requirings’ spoke most practically to you?
5. How would you explain the death of a godly young person?
6. How will this commandment increase pleasure in your life? The lives of those who have authority over you? And the lives of those who are under your authority?
INTRODUCTION
The most useful Christians I know are vulnerable Christians. Vulnerability is “a state of emotional exposure that comes with a certain degree of uncertainty. It involves a person’s willingness to accept the emotional risk that comes from being open and willing to love and be loved.”
I know Christians who will never admit to any weakness or any imperfection. There’s one in particular that I have in mind. She is completely impregnable. She views her perfection as a strength and looks down on everyone else as weak. She is the most critical Christian I know, the most disconnected, the most lacking in compassion, and the most useless. She has no friends and no ministry. She does not realize that vulnerability, weakness and imperfection multiplies courage, compassion, connection, and usefulness.
That’s why social scientist and researcher Brené Brown entitled her book on vulnerability: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are: Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life. That’s not a specifically Christian book although we can learn from the truth that does appear in it. How important is vulnerability in the Christian life and in ministry?
BACKGROUND
Paul was in a conflict with spiritual enemies in Corinth who were seducing the Corinthians away from Paul and turning them against Paul. In the previous verses he practiced vulnerability by emotional and reasonable pleading with them to be reconciled not only to himself but to God. Knowing that his enemies would despise this exposure of his heart, he doubles down on his vulnerability in verses 3-13.
How does vulnerability begin?
1. VULNERABILITY CHAMPIONS OPEN HEARTS (3-11, 13)
Vulnerability in theory
We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry (3)…We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open (11).
Paul’s tried to be as open, honest, transparent, authentic as he possibly can. He’s just poured himself out in pleading and persuading the Corinthians to be reconciled to God and himself. He doesn’t protect his own heart and feelings by distancing himself from them or denouncing them. He puts no obstacle in the way of his communication. He takes off the filters of self-image, fear, officialdom, tradition, family expectations, culture, etc., and lets them see deep into his heart.
Vulnerability in practice
Paul isn’t just theoretically vulnerable but practically vulnerable. Instead of hiding, minimizing, excusing, or spinning the reasons of the Corinthians’ rejection of him, he owns them and is open about. Vulnerability is the ability to let oneself be seen as we really are.
His humble commendation: but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way (4)
His multiple sufferings: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger (4-5).
His unusual manner: by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love (6).
His simple methods: by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left (7).
His mixed results: through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything (8-10).
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Value vulnerability. Jesus was even more vulnerable that Paul. He took vulnerability to the holy extreme of crucifixion to show how much he loved and cared. Through his wide open heart on Calvary, we see his courage, compassion, and connection which influences us in the same directions. The most useful Christians are the most vulnerable Christians.
Practice vulnerability: Vulnerability is liberating. Dads and husbands especially need to work at this. I’ve seen marriages and families transformed by male vulnerability. Vulnerability opens the way to ministry and helping others as well as getting help ourselves. Embrace imperfection and vulnerability. Let go of your need to please, perform, and perfect. Let go of being cool and always in control. Mark Twain wrote: Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.”
VULNERABILITY IS VALUABLE
So what makes us resist or even despise vulnerability?
2. VULNERABILITY CHALLENGES CLOSED HEARTS (12-13)
You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also (12-13).
Common restrictions and limitations on vulnerability are:
Ultimately, every single one of these come down shame to which is the opposite of vulnerability. If vulnerability is the way to connection, shame is the disconnector. As Paul said, “You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections.” These internal emotions like shame are like so many padlocks and chains that keep us secure but also shut us off from others and shut others off from us. They limit our Christian usefulness and limit the help we can get from others. They narrow our hearts and narrow our usefulness. They disconnect us from ourselves and from others.
Paul speaks to them as his children, reminding them of his relationship to them, and his own courageous vulnerability even as their spiritual father, and therefore how they can trust him not to abuse or take advantage of their open hearts. Brown reminds us that “The original definition of courage, is from the Latin word ‘cor,’ meaning ‘heart.’ The original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so [the vulnerable] had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect.” Courage is being “willing to let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are.” It’s speaking openly and honestly about who we are, what we’re feeling, and about our experiences.
CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY
Break your fear chains. Try to understand what’s holding you back from vulnerability. Name it and own it. Then take the first step to vulnerability. Don’t start by ‘spilling your guts’ on Facebook. Rather, start with one person you trust, somebody you have a close relationship with, someone who’s been vulnerable with you. Brené Brown said that it took her a year-long slugfest with vulnerability before she let it win.
Enjoy deep connection. Brené Brown’s research identified that the deepest connections happen when we are widely vulnerable. Brown says, “You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb vulnerability, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.” “But it’s risky,” you protest. It is risky because we may lose, but we will certainly lose if we don’t. As Brown asked, “What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?”Start out with these small steps: “I’m scared…Can you help me…I don’t know…I’m hurting.” Every time you choose such courageous vulnerability, you make everyone a bit braver and you bring everyone a bit closer.
VULNERABILITY IS VICTORY
SUMMARY
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Who do you know that practices Christ-like vulnerability and what’s the impact of it?
2. What did you think of vulnerability before this sermon? What do you think now?
3. What imperfections in your life are gift from God?
4. In what ways did Jesus show his vulnerability (even though he was morally perfect)?
5. What chains close your heart to vulnerability.
6. What first steps will you take towards vulnerability? Make a vulnerability plan.