INTRODUCTION

Every Christian has been married twice and the second marriage is always better than the first. Our first marriage is always terrible. Our second marriage is always not only better, but the best. How can we get out of our first and worst marriage and get into our second and best marriage? How can we remarry for the better?

BACKGROUND

American law has authority and dominion over us as long as we live but death frees us from the law’s authority and our obligation to obey it. That’s true whether it’s criminal law, civil law, tax law, etc. When we die, our relationship to the laws of America dies, it comes to an end. American law has no more concern with us and we have no concern with it. The general principle is that death ends the law’s relationship to us and ours to it.

What’s true of American law, is also true of God’s law, as the Apostle Paul explains: “The law is binding on a person only as long as he lives” (1). He uses the example of marriage to prove his point: “A married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage” (2). Therefore “if she lives with another man while her husband is alive” then “she shall be called an adulteress” (3). The law condemns her and sentences her. “But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress” (4).

The basic legal and biblical principle is that death ends the law’s authority, our relationship to the law, and our obligation to obey the law, and any penalty of the law for our disobedience.” That’s true of our relationship to human laws (like marriage laws) and our relationship to God’s laws. How can we get free from the demanding and condemning authority of God’s law? We are married to it as long as we live. As long as we are alive we are married to God’s law. We are bound to it, in a marriage relationship with it as long as we live, and only death can release us from this marriage and give us the freedom to enjoy a second and better marriage.

What is our first marriage like?

1. OUR FIRST MARRIAGE IS OUR WORST MARRIAGE (5)

For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death (5).

It’s a loveless marriage

We are born in an unhappy relationship with the law. The law commands, criticizes, convicts, condemns, and curses, and hates us. It never praises, never compliments, never supports, never encourages, never appreciates, never rewards, and never loves. As a result, we hate it, argue with it, fight it, oppose it, ignore it, and even provoke it by doing the opposite.

It’s a lawless marriage

“Living in the flesh” means living in a human nature that is controlled and directed by sin. There’s a difference between “flesh” being in Christians and being “in the flesh.” Christians will have “flesh” in them as long as they live, but non-Christians are “in the flesh.” It’s not just that sin is in them but they are in sin.

When someone is “in the flesh” their “sinful passions [are] aroused by the law..” In other words the law provokes lawlessness. That’s not the law’s fault, that’s our fault. Because of our flesh, the law arouses, motivates, empowers, and encourages our sinful passions into hotter and greater sinful passions. Just like the dunghill smells worse when the sun shines on it, so our flesh smells worse when the law comes into contact with us. Just as the gentle stream turns into a raging torrent when the gorge is narrowed, so the law increases the power and current of sin. The law produces lawlessness. A law-marriage is a lawless marriage.

It’s a fruitless marriage

Because our flesh was rotten, the fruit of that flesh was rotten too, so rotten that it was deadly. It reeked of death, was worthy of death, and would end in eternal death. However good the fruit looks in an unbelieving life, it is dead and rotten to God (Rom.8:8).

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Are you still married to the law? Do you not see how awful this marriage is: loveless, lawless, fruitless? How’s it working out for you? Do you not want a happy marriage, a better life?

Do you want out of this marriage? The only way out is death, but it’s a certain kind of death. It’s by union with the death of Christ. We “have died to the law through the body of Christ” (4). When Christ died, he was released from the law’s condemning power and authority. He was made under the law but satisfied all the demands of the law in his life and all the penalties of the law in his death. We cannot live that life or die that death, but Christ can and did. When we unite to him by faith, we are regarded as having lived his life and died his death. We are separated from the law as a way of salvation or sanctification. The law’s hold on us is dead. The law’s condemnation is dead. The law’s sentence is dead. We “have died to the law through the body of Christ” (4). The law is silenced. Its mouth is stopped. It’s claims are dismissed.

A LAW MARRIAGE
IS AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE

What does this second marriage look like?

2. OUR SECOND MARRIAGE IS THE BEST MARRIAGE (4, 6)

It’s a loving marriage

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another (4).

When death ends a marriage, the living partner is free to remarry, the law opens the door to a second marriage. When the law dies, we are free to remarry and belong to another. In this case, we are freed to be married to Christ and belong to him. We are his, happily his, all his. And he is mine, happily mine, all mine.

It’s a powerful marriage

But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code (6).

When we are married to Christ we are not only released from weakness, we are married to the one who rose from the dead, with all the power involved in that. The result is that we then “serve God in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code.” When we were married to the law, we had no power to keep the law, satisfy the law, or escape the law’s captivity. When we marry Christ, he sends his Holy Spirit into our hearts with new light, love, and life. That completely transforms the way we serve and obey God. We have power instead of powerlessness. The law-marriage produced law-disobedience. Christ-marriage produces law-obedience. We obey not as a bargaining tool but out of love and gratitude to God. We are freed from the law to serve God with spiritual power.

It’s a fruitful marriage

In order that we may bear fruit for God (4).

Instead of grace killing good works, it produces them. Our first marriage had a barren womb, our second one has lots of children. Our first marriage was a bare orchard of dead trees, our second marriage is packed full with all kinds of fruitful trees.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Do you want to remarry? Why stay in such a loveless, lawless, fruitless, abusive marriage one day longer? There’s a new marriage waiting for you. Just say, “I do!” and it will change everything.

Do you want a fruitful life? Don’t be a bigamist. Many Christians are bigamists. They are truly dead to the law and united to Christ, but they live as if they are married both to the law and to Christ. They grasp Christ’s grace but often go back to the law’s clutches too. They have access to Christ’s forgiveness of sin and power to serve God, but they can still resort to their old marriage when they wallow in guilt or try to serve in their own strength. Trying to keep two marriages going is such an stressful and unproductive way to live. Be exclusively committed to Christ and you’ll enjoy full and free forgiveness and spiritual power to serve God and produce much fruit.

OUR FIRST MARRIAGE WAS FRUIT-STAPLING
OUR SECOND MARRIAGE IS FRUIT-BEARING.

SUMMARY

A NEW CHAPTER

The lonely. There’s an epidemic of loneliness in the world which has many damaging physical, social, economic, psychological, and moral effects. Here’s God’s wonderful help for lonely Christians (singles, the bereaved, the forgotten, the abused): building and strengthening your marriage to Christ.

The weak. Are you spiritually defeated? Is temptation winning and you are losing? Does serving God feel like a burden rather than a delight? Do guilt and condemnation get you down? Marry Christ exclusively and avoid all bigamy for a powerful, enjoyable life of fruitful service.

Prayer. Heavenly Husband, thank you for marrying me and giving me such a loving, powerful, fruitful marriage.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. What was your first (spiritual) marriage like?

2. Can you describe a time when the law made you sin more not less?

3. What’s your second (spiritual) marriage like?

4. How would you explain the place of the law in your Christian life?

5. What fruit has marriage to Christ produced in your life?

6. How else would you apply this message? What people would benefit from hearing it?

PDF OF SERMON NOTES

INTRODUCTION

“We’re not under law, but under grace.” This is one of the most misunderstood and misused lines in the whole Bible. I’ve lot count of the number of times I’ve heard someone say this, or I’ve read it online. Usually the context is one Christian telling another Christian that they’ve done something wrong, they’ve sinned, they’ve broken one of the commandments. The offender then replies “I’m not under law, but under grace.” They’re basically saying that they no longer have any relationship with God’s law, no obligation to keep God’s law. Instead, grace has freed them from any and all obligation to the law: “I’m not under law, but under grace” they assert.

They are quoting Scripture and they seem to be quoting Scripture rightly. Romans 7:14 does say “We’re not under law but under grace” and that contrast seems to indicate that grace has freed us from all connection to the law. So are they right? Does grace free us from all and every relationship to the law of God? Does grace free us from the law?

BACKGROUND

The first step in interpreting any words is to look at the context. When we do that we discover that whatever this line means, it cannot mean that Christians have no relationship to God’s law.

• What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? (1-2).
• We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin (6).
• So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin (11)
• Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions (12).
• Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness (13).
• For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace (14)
• What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! (15)

Whatever this disputed line means, it clearly cannot mean grace frees from all obligations to God’s law, or that grace gives us a license to sin. So what does it mean? It teaches that grace changes our relationship to the law, but in what way? Let’s look at the context again for some of the broader themes.

• Romans 5: Grace frees us from the law’s penalty for sin.
• Romans 6: Grace frees us from the law’s powerlessness over sin.
• Romans 7: Grace frees us from the law’s provocation of sin.

Does grace free us from the law?

1. THE LAW IS POWERLESS OVER SIN

Under law

To be “under law” (14) is to be ruled by the law as a way of salvation and sanctification. Your only hope of heaven and holiness is your obedience to God’s law. The law is your master, your ruler, your ever-demanding never-satisfied dictator. It cannot share the throne with grace because they are mortal enemies. You are either under the law or under grace (14).

Sin reigns in our body

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body” (12). “For sin will not have dominion over you, since you are not under the law” (14). If the law is our master, sin is our master. If the law reigns over our hearts then sin reigns in our bodies. If the law is our heart-master, sin is our body-master. They are joint monarchs and unite to exert their joint reign over our souls and bodies.

Our passions obey sin

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (12). When the law is our master, sin controls our body, and our passions are out of our control. As sin works in our bodies, it stirs up sinful desires, urges, and passions.

Our members are presented to sin

“Do not present your members to sin” (13). As these sinful desires, urges, and passions grow in power, we eventually end up presenting the members of our bodies to sin. When the law controls us, sin reigns, our passions boil over, and we turn around to sin and say, “Here are the members of my body for you to use as you wish.” Have my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my hands, my feet, my sexual organs, my brain, my imagination. I present them all to you my master.”

Our members are instruments of unrighteousness

“Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness” (13). Sin then plays our members as an orchestra of instruments that produce a cacophony of disharmony in ours’ and others’ lives.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Do you recognize yourself in this story? Start at the beginning and work your way forwards through the chapters to figure out the ending. If law is in any way your hope of salvation and sanctification, of heaven and holiness, then your story is going to end in a discordant bedlam. Or start at the end and work your way backwards to figure out what’s wrong. You’ll trace it all back to the fundamental problem in your life. The law is on the throne of your hopes for salvation or sanctification.

WHEN THE LAW REIGNS OVER YOUR LIFE
SIN WILL RAIN DOWN ON YOUR LIFE

How do I change this story to a better ending? You need a better beginning.

2. GRACE IS POWERFUL OVER SIN

Under grace

To be “under grace” (14) is to be ruled by grace as the only way of salvation and sanctification. What Christ did for you is on the throne of your heart and shares no space with what you did, do, or will do for him. Grace has dethroned the law as your master and sits on the throne alone. As verses 1-11 made crystal clear, grace means Christ has done it all. Instead of a throne that has the banner “Do and Don’t” it has the banner “Done.” You are under that grace.

God reigns in our body

If “under law” means that sin reigns in our mortal body (12) and that sin has dominion over us (14), then “under grace” means the opposite. God reigns in our bodies and God has dominion over us. Grace is the throne that God sits on. From there, he claims our whole body as his and refuses to allow any space or second to the law as a way of salvation of sanctification.

Our passions obey God

When God sits on the throne of grace in our hearts and claims ownership of us, then we no longer obey our sinful passions, emotions, desires, feelings (12). Most of them are still there, but they are weakened and aging and gradually being replaced by more orderly passions that love to please God.

We present ourselves and our members to God

“…present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness” (13). We not only present our members to God, but our whole selves. We unreservedly give our whole being and whole body to God because he brought us from death to life. We say, “Here are the members of my body for you to use as you wish.” Have my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my hands, my feet, my sexual organs, my brain, my imagination. I present them all to you my master.”

Our members are instruments of righteousness

Present yourselves and your members to God “as instruments for righteousness” (13). God plays our members as holy instruments which result in a beautiful harmony of righteousness. It’s God’s finest symphony to take old abused instruments and turn them into a holy and heavenly sound.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Do you recognize yourself in this story? Start at the beginning and work your way forwards through the chapters to figure out the ending. If grace is your only hope of salvation and sanctification, of heaven and holiness, then your story will have a beautiful tune and vocals. Or start at the end and work your way backwards to figure out what’s made such a difference to your words, actions, etc. You’ll trace it all back to the fundamental Master of your life, the reigning principle. You are under grace. Grace is at the controls of your life.

WHEN WE ARE UNDER GRACE
WE ARE OVER SIN.

SUMMARY

A NEW CHAPTER

We are not under the law. Praise God because the law can only produce sin, disobedience to the law. The law binds us to ungodly living that grates on God.

We are under grace. Praise God because grace alone can produce holiness, obedience to the law. Grace frees us from the law as our hope of salvation and sanctification and fills us with hope of full salvation and sanctification.

Prayer. God of all grace, thank you that being under grace means I am free to be holy, able to obey the law, and produce a God-like sound with my life.

PDF OF SERMON NOTES

INTRODUCTION

Overall life expectancy in America has fallen each year for the past three years. The last time this happened was 1918. Over the past two decades, deaths of despair from suicide, drug overdose, and alcoholism have risen dramatically, and now claim hundreds of thousands of American lives each year—and they’re still rising.

Last year the CDC reported more than 100,000 drug overdose deaths during a 12-month period, a 28.5% increase over the prior year. Most of these deaths were attributed to the use of opioids by middle-aged white men. 911 calls for opioid-related use increased 250% between 2019 and early 2020. The key driver is economic misery combined with a sense that nobody in their community or in government cares for them. Other factors such as poverty, illness, chronic pain, inflation, healthcare costs, debt, all combine to produce a sense of hopelessness and helplessness in many. Little wonder that only 43% of US adult citizens believe that “The American Dream” still exists. A third say there is no such thing.

It’s not just middle-aged and old people. In an Atlantic article, Why American Teens Are So Sad, Derek Thompson reports that “The United States is experiencing an extreme teenage mental-health crisis. From 2009 to 2021, the share of American high-school students who say they feel “persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness” rose from 26 percent to 44 percent…This is the highest level of teenage sadness ever recorded.”

Where can we find hope in a hopeless world? The Christmas story of hope can change our story of despair.

BACKGROUND

Our text is found in the closing words of Zechariah’s song (Luke 1:67-79). Zechariah was married to Elizabeth. Although they had been childless into their old age, God promised Zechariah a son (John the Baptist) who would be great in the sight of God and prepare the way for God’s salvation. When Zechariah expressed skepticism about this, God disciplined him with the inability to speak (Luke 1:5-23). When John was born and Zechariah gave him the name God wanted, God restored his ability to speak (57-65). As people questioned what was so special about this child, Zechariah composed this divinely inspired song (66-79).

What’s happened to hope?

1. HOPE IS DYING

‘”…those living in darkness and in the shadow of death” (79)

Living in darkness

Zechariah lived in dark times. It was politically dark as the Romans had subjugated and occupied Israel. It was spiritually dark as there had been no new revelation of God for 400 years. It was personally dark as Zechariah had reached old age and still had no children, a painful stigma in that culture.

Dying in darkness

Zechariah was old and coming towards the end of his life. As a believer he had some hope of life after death, but that hope was based upon Old Testament shadow truths and therefore could only generate shadowy hope.

Although Zechariah had some glimmers of hope for himself, when he looked around he saw a people not just living in darkness but living in the shadow of death. Death cast a long shadow over their lives. Most had little or no hope of salvation in this life and little or no hope of life after death. However much light they may have enjoyed at times in their lives, they could not escape the brevity of life, the finality of death, and the uncertainty about what was next.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Is your life dark and hopeless? Do you wonder what’s the point in life? What is there to live for? Is life worth the bother? Maybe you had hope at one point in your life, but life events and experiences have drained that hope and filled you with despair. You see nothing ahead that looks bright, that looks as if things could change for you. Further, when you look beyond your own life, you see hopeless darkness in the nation, in the culture, in the economy. You are living in darkness.

Is your death dark and hopeless? You try to avoid thinking about death, but when you do, it’s like a dark hole. You try to avoid it, but sometimes its shadow falls across your life. You fear dying, death, and what’s after death. You’re not sure you’re going to heaven and are anxious that you could be going to hell. Or maybe, you despair that death is the end of your existence. But you just don’t know. The end and what may be after is just dark and unknowable. You are dying, or fear dying, in darkness.

The helpless are hopeless
the hopelesss are helpless

My hope is dying, or maybe even dead.
Is there anything that can resurrect hope?

2. HOPE IS BORN

“…because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death” (78).

The Son rises and shines on dark lives

Zechariah looked forward to the arrival of the Messiah as if looking for a sunrise after a dark night. As he looked to the horizon he saw the most beautiful rising sun he’s ever seen in his life. It’s a gift of heaven to earth, from God to humanity. Because of his tender mercy, God looked down and saw how many had dark lives and dark deaths and sent his Son as his sun to shine into that dark hopelessness.

The burst of heavenly sunlight that rose in the stable of Bethlehem gave hope to those in darkness. It gave hope that God keeps his promises, hope that God has a plan and is in control, hope that good will triumph over evil, hope that God loves us, cares for us, and wants us to know his tender mercy, hope that God will do whatever it takes to make life purposeful and meaningful.

The Son rises and shines on dark deaths

While this baby’s birth gave hope for those living in darkness, it also gave hope to those dying in darkness. His life and death purchased and provided salvation through the forgiveness of sins. His life, death and resurrection was like a flashlight that went before them in life and death. The shadow of death has been shrunk, lightened, and lessened. The baby born in Bethlehem shines his light on our path, giving us hope of a bright and eternal future.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

We have bright hope about life. The Baby of Bethlehem assures us that God is in control, rules over our darkness, has a purpose in the darkness, and will eventually show us the bright light of his purpose. The Baby of Bethlehem may not change our circumstances but he does change the way we view them and live through them. The Baby of Bethlehem assures us that whether or not anyone else loves us, God does and does so with tender mercy,

We have bright hope about death. We need not live in fear of death, dying, or what’s after death. “The appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus…abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Timothy 1:10). Christian hope is a realistic expectation of and joyful longing for future good and glory based on the reliable Word of God. That’s my hope, what’s your hope?

The hope of heaven
gives hope on earth

SUMMARY

CHRISTMAS COUNSELING

When hope counsels us we have optimism instead of pessimism, energy instead of lethargy, joy instead of sadness, power instead of weakness, belonging instead of alienation, possibilities instead of problems, self-care instead of self-harm, praise instead of criticism, progress instead of backsliding, ripe fruit instead of bare branches, resilience instead of defeatism. silver linings not just dark clouds, expectation instead of regret, motivation instead of moping.

Hope actually increases our overall physical health too as scientists have found that positive emotions such as hope affect our cells, tissues, and organs and ultimately our health and mortality. Hope is infectious and encourages other sagging Christians as well as making non-Christians ask us for the reason of our hope.

Prayer: God of hope, shine the hope of Christ into our hopeless lives to increase our physical health, our emotional wealth, and our spiritual usefulness.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Where do you land on the despair-hope scale (with 10 being maximum hope)?

2. What affects your levels of despair or hope?

3. How hopeful are you about your life? Your death?

4. How has Jesus increased your hope in life and in death?

5. How do you build and strengthen your hope?

6. Who do you know that you can counsel with the hope of this message?

PDF OF SERMON NOTES

Listen here

INTRODUCTION

Our culture’s fatherhood crisis can be seen in both stories and statistics.

Nadia’s Story

In Islam there are 99 names for Allah. Not one of them is “Father.” I am from a family of six children. My father never showed us love. Whenever I heard of people speak about the love and support of their fathers, I had no idea what they meant. My father was an angry man. He abused us, especially my mother, emotionally and physically. She was beaten several times to within an inch of her life. Yet she put up with this in order to protect us children. I also remember the day when my father tried to kill my brother, forcing him to run away barefooted into the street.

When I was old enough, l left Iran so that I could be free of my father and have a better life. I ended up in the UK. I always had a negative view of men. I questioned why God had given men such power. I tried to be strong, yet I was depressed and tired of life (I Couldn’t Call God Father, by Nadia).

Vince’s Story

“As a man who has been fatherless almost all my life, I have found that defining masculinity is deceptively difficult. I didn’t have someone around to demonstrate true and healthy manhood. My father’s absence has been a source of grief and regret, but this sense of longing has driven me to God for answers, fulfillment, and sonship. He is my one faithful Father, my heavenly one” (Nine Attributes of a Real Man, Vince Miller)

Statistics

• Almost 25% (one in four) American children lives in a household without their biological dads.
• In the African American community, it’s 50% (one in two).
• Paternal absence is the single greatest risk factor in teen girls becoming pregnant, boys ending up in prison, and kids ending up with mental illness.
• Girls and boys are much more likely to thrive when they have the benefit of a father’s time, attention, discipline, and especially affection

How do we fix the Fatherhood crisis that is damaging so many individuals and our whole culture? The answer is God’s Fatherhood. It helps us see where we’ve gone wrong, how to get it right, and how to heal those traumatized by their dads or the lack of them. Even if we’v e had the best Fathers, we can still get to know our heavenly Father better and enjoy a deeper more satisfying relationship with him.

BACKGROUND

We were made to know God as our Father. Our ultimate purpose is to be the loved and loving children of God. That’s how Adam and Eve were made. That’s what we’ve lost by sin and what Christianity restores. But how? How do we get to the Father? How do we know the Father? How can we become his sons and daughters? How can we enjoy a relationship with him. These were some of the Father problems and questions that Jesus’s disciples had as well. In John 14:5-10 Jesus solves and answers them.

What is our Father problem?

1. WE HAVE A FATHER PROBLEM

Some of the disciples had father problems. Perhaps they’d had bad experiences at the hands of their earthly fathers. Whatever the cause, when Jesus spoke about them going to live in the Father’s home (John 14:2-4), Thomas had questions (5). When Jesus answered by presenting himself as the only way they could come to the Father (6) and know the Father (7), Philip voiced serious reservations about this. He knew Jesus and wanted to be with him, but he wasn’t sure who the Father was or whether he wanted to be with him. He turned to Jesus and said, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us” (8). Philip seemed to fear that the Father was not like Jesus. Like many, Philip was attracted to the Son of God but not to his Father God. Like many, he feared that God the Father was a brooding, threatening, ominous figure who hid behind Jesus.

Jesus assured Phillip that rather than hiding the Father, he revealed the Father. He wasn’t a cover for the Father but pulled back the covers on the Father. “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?” (9-10). What’s the Father like? He’s just like Jesus. Jesus makes him known (John 1:18; Col. 1:15; Heb 1:3).

So many spiritual problems stem from a distorted view of God as our Heavenly Father, most of which result from painful experiences of distorted earthly fatherhood. There are two main distortions of earthly fatherhood that damage us.

The Abusive Father

• Physical abuse: Not only violent attacks but excessively violent discipline.
• Verbal abuse: Belittling, demeaning, and dehumanizing words.
• Psychological abuse: Controlling through silence, dictatorial intimidation, or perfectionistic expectations.
• Sexual abuse: Invasion of personal privacy for sexual gratification, the most damaging of all abuse.

 The Absent Father

• Physical absence: Your father left your family, or effectively left by too much time on work, friends, hobbies, etc.
• Emotional absence: Present but absent, silent, distant, uninvolved. No words or actions of loving affirmation.
• Spiritual absence: Little to no involvement in the spiritual welfare of the children.

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

Lament: If you are a victim of abuse or abandonment, you are not to blame. It’s not your fault. You should be outraged and angry over the abuse and absence you’ve suffered. We grieve and weep with you. We come alongside you with sympathy. You’ve been traumatized and your view of yourself, your world, and your God have been damaged.

Repent: If you’ve sinned as a Dad, repent, ask for forgiveness from your children, and start over. It does not matter how old you are or how long ago it happened. Repentance is not just saying sorry, it’s producing fruits of repentance. It’s doing the opposite of what you’ve done. Provide care and love where there was abuse and violence. Provide presence where there was absence. Provide not only dollars but affection, appreciation, and encouragement. Your children are crying out to you “Show us the Father.”

Replace: There are single mothers in our church and in our community. We do not shame them or shun them. We want to step in to help them, to provide Fatherly care, examples, and mentoring. The answer to the Fatherhood problem is not to abandon the whole idea as some women are doing but to step into the gap as replacement dads. Single moms, do not give up in despair. You are doing the very best you can. Children raised without dads can turn out fine. God overrules and you can point your children to a Father in heaven who will never forsake them.

Our Fatherhood crisis is a spiritual crisis with a spiritual solution

What is the spiritual solution?

2. JESUS HAS A FATHER SOLUTION

It’s definitely easier to understand God’s Fatherhood if we’ve had good earthly fathers. So what do we do when we’ve had wrong and damaging views and experiences of fatherhood? Do we give up on that as just too painful to even think about? That’s not what Jesus did with his disciples, and it should not be what we do either. No matter how bad our experience of earthly fatherhood was (is), the remedy is not less fatherhood but more of God’s Fatherhood. That’s what we want to provide in this sermon series, “Show us the Father.”

We all need more knowledge of God the Father and more experience of God’s Fatherhood. There are two ways to this: (1) Passages and verses which reveal God’s Fatherhood directly, and (2) passages and verses which reveal God’s Fatherhood indirectly, through Jesus. So we’ll be seeing that God’s Fatherhood means:

• Design for Creatures (Deut. 32:6; Ps. 139)
• Love for the Loveless (1 John 3:1-3)
• Compassion for the Hurting (Deuteronomy 1:31; Ps 103:13-14; Jer. 31:20)
• Comfort for Sufferers (Ps. 68:5-6; 2 Cor. 1:3-4)
• Provision for the Poor (Mat. 6:8; Phil. 4:19)
• Discipline for the Disobedient (Heb. 12:6)
• Assurance for Doubters (Rom. 8:15)
• Peace for the Anxious (Matt. 6:25-26)
• Justice for the Oppressed (Ps. 37:34; Rom. 12:19)
• Grace for the Prodigals (Luke 15:20-24)
• Forgiveness for the Bitter (Matt. 6:14-15)
• Security for the Insecure (John 10:29)
• Wisdom for the Foolish (Proverbs)
• Faithfulness for the Unfaithful (Lam 3:23)
• Authority for the Lawless (Matt. 5:17-18)
• An Ear for the Crying (Matt. 6:9)
• Help for the Helpless (Heb. 4:16)
• A Giver for Receivers (Matt. 6:13; James
• Life for the Dead (John 5:21)
• Presence for the Abandoned (Rom. 8:39)
• Acceptance for the Imperfect (2 Cor. 6:18-18)
• Worship for Worshippers (John 4:23)
• A Home for the Homeless (John 14:1-3)
• Sacrifice for the Undeserving (Romans 8:32)

That’s a Father solution that could solve our Fatherhood crisis!

CHANGING OUR STORIES WITH GOD’S STORY

If you had a good earthly father, thank God that he showed you the Father.

“I have only ever had a good father. Timothy Beaty is gentle, wise, affectionate, and regularly expresses pride for his children. We laugh at the same lines in Seinfeld; he taught me how to identify bird calls. To this day, I hold to the irrational belief that there is no better man than him walking the face of the earth. Because I have a good biological father, it has been easy to believe that I have a good heavenly Father. Earthly things, though imperfect, reveal the deeper truth about heavenly things. The typology has worked out for me. I do not take this for granted” (Katelyn Beaty).

If you had a bad earthly father, let Jesus show you his and your Heavenly Father. Nadia came to believe in Jesus but faced an immediate problem:

“After believing there was a great challenge awaiting me. I had to accept God as my Father. In my mind, “Father” was not a word of honor toward the God I had come to know. “Mother” would have felt like a much better word. But God wanted to reveal himself to me. And he did so with complete patience and gentleness.

As I studied the Bible, I saw the grace and love of the Father. As I prayed, I felt the attention of the Father. As I worshiped, I felt the embrace of the Father. He healed my past, my present, and my future. He has transformed me. He even enabled me to truly forgive my earthly father. I used to hate the word “Father,” but today I worship God the Father with great love and passion. I worship Jesus Christ as Lord, the One who has saved my soul. And I love to walk in the Spirit, who is always with me.

Today I have the privilege of being part of Elam Ministries’s women’s team, and I’ve had the chance to teach numerous women just like me. I never knew my story would affect so many other lives. I’ve had the chance to tell hundreds of Iranian women what the Father has done in my life. I speak of the Father’s authority, the Father’s attention, the Father’s generosity, the Father’s faithfulness, and the Father’s love.

Recently, after sharing my story at a conference for women from Iran, a lady named Haleh approached me in tears. Her father was just like mine. Unsurprisingly, Haleh couldn’t see God as Father. But after much conversation and prayer, she was finally able to call on God as her Father. It was so moving to see. The following day Haleh sang a new song to God about his Fatherhood, and like a little girl she danced before her Daddy.”

Like Father, like Son; like Son, like Father.

SUMMARY

A NEW CHAPTER

• Jesus: Jesus is the only perfect Son of the perfect Father. In that perfect Father-Son relationship, we see the relationship we lost by sin, that we are regaining through Jesus, and that will be perfected in our perfect heavenly home. Read the Gospel of John looking for that perfect Father-Son model to inspire you.
• Men: Let’s turn from our culture’s false models of fatherhood, and the demeaning of fatherhood, and show our families, our church family, and our community what biblical fatherhood looks like.
• Women: Single women, pray and look for men who show the Father in their words and actions. Married women, pray for your husbands to be such Father-revealing fathers and encourage them when they do.

Prayer: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

PDF OF SERMON NOTES

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