Can you help me?

January 12, 2011  David Murray   19 comments

I’m looking for popular-level, up-to-date books and booklets for:

(1) Two couples who recently suffered miscarriages

(2) A mother who suddenly lost her young 10-year-old daughter.

Any recommendations?

  • Tim Challies

    David,DayOne has a booklet titled, “Help! My Baby Has Died” written by Reggie Weems.http://www.dayone.co.uk/index.php?_a=viewCat&catId=601

  • Matthew Hudson

    Another couple of books might be Suffering and the Sovereignty of God ed. by Piper/Taylor, and Why Do I Suffer by John Currid. Though I think Tim’s suggestion might be best as it was specially designed for just this situation as opposed to a more generic treatment of the theology of suffering.

  • Wayne Rogers

    I have an article on my computere: Miscarriage: A Death in the FamilyDr. Dan DorianiAdjunct Professor of New Testament andPastor of Central Presbyterian Church, St. Louis, Mo.

  • Wayne Rogers

    ON THE DEATH OF A DAUGHTER – SAMULE RUTHERFORDSamuel Rutherford wrote to a Christian Gentlewoman in 1628, whose daughter had died:“Remember of what age your daughter was and that just so long was your lease of her. Seeing that her term was come and your lease had run out you can no more justly quarrel against your great Superior for taking his own than a poor farmer can complain that his master taketh a portion of his own land to himself when his lease is expired.Do not think her lost when she is but sleeping in the bosom of the Almighty: Think her not absent who is in such a friend’s house. Is she lost to you who is found to Christ? If she were with a dear friend, although you would never see her again, your care for her would be small. Oh, now is she not with a dear friend and gone higher upon a certain hope that you shall in the resurrection see her again when you may be sure that she shall neither be sick or consumed in body.Consider what the Lord is doing: your daughter is plucked out of the fire and she rests from her labors. Be wise then and as I trust you love the Lord, pass by your daughter and kiss the Lord’s rod. Run your race with patience, let God have His own, and ask of him, instead of your daughter, the daughter of faith which is patience.”

  • Wes Bredenhof

    After the tragic loss of my mother, I found encouragement in Jehu Thomas Burton’s Trusting God Through Tears. Burton lost his twelve-year old son suddenly.

  • Luke Burgess

    Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child by John MacArthur

  • Matthrew

    Dr. James White spent some time as a Hospital Chaplain and had to deal with grief and suffering. He wrote a book on his experience, Grieving: Your Path Back to Peace. From the book description –> “People in grief wonder if they will ever feel okay again. Not only do you face overwhelming emotions of loss, you can feel discouraged or even ashamed when your grief doesn’t disappear quickly or happen in neat orderly stages. For all people who have experienced loss, moments of joy and normalcy mix with moments of sadness and anger. Being moved once again by painful emotions you thought you had tamed isn’t a setback. It’s part of an upward process of healing. And when you allow your grief to be accompanied by hope in God, grieving can be your path back to peace.”http://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Your-Peace-Crisis-Points/dp/0764220004/ref=ntt…

  • R

    David – my wife and I have had four miscarriages and no children. We have both been helped by Piper’s work on suffering and the DayOne publication. The worst resource? Advice on how to have a baby next time. Why not just go ahead and tell me it’s my fault? The best resource? A card or visit from a friend that says “I love you and I hurt for you.”

  • Michael Allen Davenport

    I realize anew that, just as we must learn to obey God one choice at a time, we must also learn to trust God one circumstance at a time. Trusting God is not a matter of my feelings but of my will. I never feel like trusting God when adversity strikes, but I can choose to do so even when I don’t feel like it. That act of the will, though, must be based on belief, and belief must be based on truth.

  • Michael Allen Davenport

    Not sure why my initial message only posted part…here is the first part…Trusting God Even When Life Hurtsby Jerry BridgesThe quote above is from that book I believe…

  • Michael Allen Davenport

    R, read your post…my heart goes out to you and your wife…may God hear and answer the desire of your heart…

  • R

    Michael – thanks for your kind words. One thing we’ve learned is that when the *greatest* desire of our heart is to have a baby, that’s not a godly desire (although that doesn’t sound right in a card :) ). From a broader perspective, we’ve been helped greatly by Piper’s “Desiring God” and the excellent materials from CCEF on having a God-centered view of ourselves and the world around us.

  • Malcolm Ball

    From Grief to Glory by James W Bruce, published by Banner of Truth, which is a book of comfort for grieving parents

  • Andy Wilcock

    “Empty arms” by Keren Baker http://www.amazon.co.uk/EMPTY-ARMS-BAKER-KEREN/dp/0852347049/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UT…Also there is this lovely ministry called “Beloved Baby”http://www.rosedalechurch.org/beloved%20baby1.htmlHope this is helpful

  • cairparavel

    Here is a set of helpful reviews for the “Empty Arms” bookhttp://www.epbooks.org/empty-arms-p-2141.html

  • David Murray

    Well, what a fantastic response. Thank you so much. That’s a really powerful example of Christians using the internet for good. I’ll compile the list and post it so that we have it all in one place. Maybe we should do the same for other issues and problems people face, crowd-source the books and other materials that people have found helpful and bring them together in one place. What do you think?

  • Angus

    David,My wife experienced two miscarriages before being pregnant with our son (three months away), and I scoured the internet for good resources that would be helpful. She’s not an avid reader, so I was hoping for audio, I found an mp3 by Sue Nicewander with CCEF that was on the topic, and burned it to CD – my wife listened to it two or three times and really appreciated it. It can be found here (among some other helpful ones):http://www.firstbaptistwb.org/sermons/2009/Counseling%20Seminar/Enjoy your blog a great deal have a soft spot for fellow Scots in exile!),Angus

  • Angus

    Here is an article by Nicewander as well…http://www.ccef.org/sites/default/files/2401049.pdf

  • Kevin

    Caleb ministries have a book of called ‘Morning will come’ and a Bible study ‘learning through loss’ as well as other resources to encourage those who have lost babies through miscarriage, or early infant death:http://www.calebministries.org/resources/calebs-cart.html?page=shop.browse&ca…