The fastest way to discourage other Christians

August 29, 2012  David Murray   7 comments

How to make Christian hearts and heads droop.

Find lots of different ways of saying:

“I have the best parents in the world.”

“I have the best wife in the world.”

“I have the best kids in the world.”

“I am the best witness in the world.”

Repeat.

For a bit of variation, regularly use yourself as an example of godly character and conduct.

To make even more heads drop and hearts sink, use social media to communicate the same message.

Alternatively.

If it’s all true (perhaps the biggest “IF” in the world), thank God in privacy and humility.

Then look really, really hard for a personal weakness and boast loudly and widely about it (2 Cor. 11:30; 12:9).

And watch God be lifted up, along with lots of Christian hearts and heads.

  • bryan

    Where is the line between being incredibly thankful for your wife and children and being a discouragement to others begin and end? Are there times where, speaking praises of your wife and children (especially your wife) can serve as a witness to others?

    • http://breathoflifeministries.blogspot.com Melissa

      Certainly we should praise our kids, spouses, etc. when appropriate. But I think we need to steer clear of “I have the best (fill in the blank)” because it can sound like “My (fill in the blank) is so much better than yours.” Like so many things, I believe it’s an attitude of the heart. Am I praising or am I boasting?

      Sometimes I think we’d be wise to let others notice things, instead of calling attention to them – particularly in social media. Not every cute thing our children say or every romantic thing our spouse does should be put out there for public consumption. To do so only cheapens those things, in my opinion.

  • Reg Schofield

    I truly appreciate my wife and my son’s but if we are honest , there are days when they truly irk me , disappoint me and cause me frustration . As I do them . But understanding my own weaknesses and struggles , I can extend grace and love and appreciate the blessing they our in my life . I thank God daily for them but have always tried to restrain from boasting about them being the “best” but that doesn’t mean I will not praise them for Godly behavior and seeing God working in their lives .Good post.

  • cub

    Honestly Im encouraged to see other Christians praise their families publicly. I truly do have a great husband so maybe that is why it doesnt bother me, I just think, Praise the Lord! Me too. Wait I just discouraged someone didnt I? Even when things havent been great I use others joy as a reason to do better myself, seeing a happy coupld motivates me to generate happiness in my relastionship, a type of *spurring on to good works*. My teen son is a bit of a rebel, hearing that other teens are honoring and respecting their parents make me happy and gives me hope, perhaps I need to reevaluate again and see how I can be a better mom. We all hear enough griping and complaining about family its nice. Perhaps the recipient/friend/hearer of the praise is the one who is carnal and selfish for not rejoicing with those who rejoice?

    Another thought. Is this just one more way political correctness has embedded itself in *everything* we do. We shouldnt even praise our loved ones when they do well for fear it will make others feel bad? We should all pretend our homelife sucks too, so our friends wont feel bad? Hmmm We should all consider our motives carefully on both sides I think. Great post. Lots to think about.

  • bryan

    I personally believe it would be a healthier world if it were filled with husbands and fathers who publicly praised their family. Although I am somewhat sympathetic to avoiding the word “best” I don’t think there it is wrong to believe it, hold it true, and let it come out in how you communicate to others.

    Is there sin in that?

  • http://headhearthand.org/blog/ David Murray

    Thanks for the input.

    I agree that there is nothing wrong with publicly praising one’s wife/husband/children, etc, FROM TIME TO TIME.

    Notice I said: “Find lots of different ways to say…”

    The boasting/pride problem comes in when some do it all the time, and its not just, “The Lord has given me a good wife/kids, etc” but “I have THE BEST…”

    Have a look around you the next time this is done, and see the many Christians who have multiple trials and afflictions in these areas of life. Consider the hugely discouraging impact on them of this being done repeatedly.

    As someone said, if the Lord has blessed us in these areas, it will show. We don’t need to keep rubbing it in – because that’s how it feels to some.

    • Marcia

      I’m firmly on your side of this issue, Dr. Murray. I find it positively repugnant to click on someone’s blog and read that she is married to the “best man in the world.” Or worse yet, “this is my godly husband, David.” Says who? When did introductions cease to suffice at “this is my husband, David”?
      We would all do well to heed the words of the wise man who wrote, “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.” Pr. 27:2
      A timely post, considering the ego-ridden culture of our day, especially as it seems to surface online.

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