In this video, Christian counselor, Dr. Emilie DeYoung, talks about the first step in the road to recovery for a depressed person – coming alongside them.
You can see other short FAQ videos from the Christians Get Depressed Too video series here or view five feature length documentaries here.
I’m sick and tired of hearing so many single and married men, even professing Christian men, talk so easily, casually, and nonchalantly about their “porn problem” or their “struggles with pornography.”
Porn use has become so common and “normal” that there’s not an ounce of stigma left in it. In fact, “confessing” your latest “fall” has become a fast-track to guaranteed sympathy, an arm round the shoulder, “Hey, none of us are perfect,” “Well, maybe we should think about tightening up accountability here and there…”
What happened to the “Yuk!” factor?
How about this for an alternative?
“What? You look at other people’s penises and vaginas in your spare time? For pleasure?”
I regret I have to be so coarse, but we need to do something to restore the shame and disgrace of this evil.
In fact, let’s go a bit further.
How about the next time some married or single Christian man (or woman) ambles up to you for a friendly chat about his (or her) “porn problem,” you reply, “You don’t have a porn problem! No, you have a masturbation problem.”
“Oh, pastor, don’t be so crude.”
“So it’s crude to say it, but not to do it?”
“Well, er…”
“By saying ‘I’m struggling with porn’ you are excusing yourself. You are blaming some distant pictures and pixels out there. But that’s just a means to an end. The real problem is not porn. It’s much closer to home. It’s between your legs.”
I could go on. I could get even more descriptive and graphic – using just medical terminology of course. Or, I could use some words I learned on the streets of Glasgow. But for the purposes of this blog post, let’s keep it within the realms of the Oxford English Dictionary. Although even that’s probably too shocking for many of us.
But that’s what we need. We need to be shocked again at the vileness of this sin. We need to see it for what it is, name it for what it is, and with the blessing of the Holy Spirit we might raise a new generation of men and women who will abhor this self-centered perversion of God’s created order.
Whatever you do, do not marry a masturbator (see clarification in comments below). Marriage rarely stops it. Indeed, many marriages have been ruined by it and by the fornication and adultery it almost always results in.
And if this post has sickened and disgusted you, good! That was the aim. Now take your nausea and disgust to the holy Lord Jesus Christ for pardon AND purging.
To paraphrase the Apostle John, “If we confess our masturbation, he is faithful and just to forgive us our masturbation and to cleanse us from all our masturbation!”
In this video, Thabiti talks about his background in Psychology and how it has helped him as a Pastor.
You can see other short FAQ videos from the Christians Get Depressed Too video series here or view five feature length documentaries here.
All Christians are agreed that the Bible calls us to modesty. It’s hard though to find two who agree about what modesty means. Based on the multiple examples of immodesty seen on various red carpets throughout the year, here are seven questions to ask in our clothing choices. Hope they help more than the measuring tape.
The amount of fabric: Is there enough to cover what should be covered?
The position of the fabric: Does the fabric cover the critical places – high and low, front and back?
The transparency of the fabric: Is the fabric too see-through?
The holes in the fabric: Do the holes for arms, legs, and neck reveal too much? Are there holes where there should be fabric?
The movement of the fabric: Am I still modest when walk, sit down, or lean over?
The tightness of the fabric: Are my clothes more like body-paint?
The color/patterns/logos of the fabric: Am I attention seeking or trying to startle and get others talking about me?
The state of the heart: Most importantly, what are my motives in my clothing choices? Is it about pleasing the Lord first and most? Or is it about pleasing me, my friends, my culture, etc.? Or is it even about deliberately offending others.
Any other questions or guidelines you would offer?
While you’re thinking about that, here are some books and blog links that might help you and your kids think through these issues further. I don’t agree with everything written in them but they should stimulate some healthy debate!
Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America by Jeff Pollard
A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue by Wendy Shalit
Modesty Heart Check
Modeling Modesty – Mary Mohler
What And What Not To Wear – Mary Kassian
Modesty in a Hypersexual World – Carolyn McCulley
Good news, fellas! Only women are required to be modest, apparently. | The Matt Walsh Blog
Toward a New Understanding of Modesty – Katelyn Beaty – The Atlantic
The Upward Call – The Upward Call – Questions of modesty
Modesty and Legalism | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
How to Encourage Teens to Dress Modestly | Babysitting Jobs
Modesty Lines: 3 Things That Are out of Bounds | Wade-O Radio
Promoting Modesty in Our Teenage Daughters – The Gospel Coalition
How Christian Modesty Acts « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT
Parents, don’t dress your girls like tramps – CNN.com
What makes our modesty distinctly Christian?
How Do You Address Modesty? | Worship Matters
Whatever Happened to Modesty?
In this video, I discuss five important questions I ask early on when counseling someone with depression. They are:
1. Do you accept you have a problem?
2. Are you willing to explore all dimensions of this problem?
3. Do you want to be made whole?
4. Are you willing to explore all possible solutions?
5. Do you trust me when I tell you there is hope for recovery?
You can see other short videos from the Christians Get Depressed Too video series here or view five feature length documentaries here.
A Portrait of Christ: A Look at Who Jesus Is and What He is Like by D. Patrick Ramsey.
This book began as a series of sermons that answered two questions, “Who is Jesus?” and “What is Jesus like?” with an emphasis on the second.
The opening chapter gives a brief readable survey of the whole Bible, climaxing with the first and second comings of Christ. Following that, we have a chapter that looks in turn at the humanity of Jesus then the divinity of Jesus, concluded with a brief consideration of Jesus the God-man.
The heart of the book, to my mind, are the next two chapters on the compassion of Christ, closely followed by a chapter on Christ’s friendship and and one on Christ’s anger. The last chapter explains the humility of Christ.
A good book for handing out to someone who has little or no knowledge of who Jesus is. Also helpful for young Christians to ground them in the person of Christ. But also a sweet one-week, chapter-a-day devotional for the mature Christian who wants to renew their relationship with their Lord and Savior.
