The Most Common Reasons Pastors Fall

After reading my posts last week on repairing the damage after a pastor falls (Part 1, Part 2), Tom Parr, pastor at Cornerstone Baptist Church, sent me the following article on the reasons why pastoral falls are becoming so common.


I have been a Reformed Baptist pastor for 10 years, and I have not fallen, nor am I aware of any problems in my life of the magnitude that would disqualify me from ministry. I struggle with worry and grumbling, but my sins aren’t of the notorious and ignominious sort. I hasten to add however that I am no less in need of God’s grace and forgiveness than someone who is disgraced in the eyes of the self-righteous crowd or disqualified in the eyes of the humble Christian crowd. We are all sinners, and we all desperately need continual supplies of God’s grace, which he has given us in Christ and through the Holy Spirit.

Every sin deserves God’s wrath, but some sins receive different temporal ramifications than others. God has stipulated that those he has set over his flock must not be sinners of the blatant, notorious type (1 Tim. 3). Unfortunately, I am aware of several pastors who have become just that. In fact some of the most notorious sinners I’ve ever known were at one time pastors. These men were disqualified for ministry, and they faded away in shame, leaving in their wake many hurting, confused and outraged people. My question is a simple one. Why? Why does this happen? Why can we all, no doubt, bring to mind several names and faces of pastors who lost their testimony and their ministry due to notorious sin?

I believe there are a multitude of reasons why pastors fall. Let me address only a few before focusing on one in particular.

Sexual Sin
First, there are many men who enter the ministry who have never conquered sexual sin in their personal lives. A man who has no self-control is fighting the Holy Spirit whose fruit always produces it. There can be no doubt: a person is a slave to whomever he obeys. People who habitually commit sexual sin are slaves to the devil and to the flesh. Such men enter the ministry already fallen; their later “fall” is just an exposure of what they are.

No Devotional Life
Second, there are many men in the ministry who have never established regular devotional times. Such a person is fundamentally at odds with God, because God invites all Christians to meditate in God’s Law day and night. Many men have no interest in prayer. Such men are vulnerable to attacks from the enemy, and when temptation comes over and over, they cannot stand because their lifeline is cut, they have no spiritual power, for they simply don’t love God enough to maintain a relationship with him.

Wrong Motivations
Third, many pastors get into ministry for the wrong reasons, so their motivations are either false or they are mixed. Some people become pastors because they think they’ll get peace, or money, or respect, or time, or power. They are in it primarily for supposed benefits. It is hard not to think of such men as completely ignorant of what pastoral life is really like. When ministry turns out to be full of disillusionments, they turn to what gives them pleasure, because that was what they were seeking to begin with.

These and many reasons can be trotted out, but I would like to focus on one in particular. Often pastors fail because they and their families are victims of a lack of covenant solidarity, which subtly turns them from God.

Lack of Covenant Solidarity
What do I mean by covenant solidarity? I’d define it as a principle of unity among a congregation that isn’t derived from shared personality traits, mutual hobbies, or common interests, but rather is derived from a shared interest in and love for Christ. Covenant solidarity is “the tie that binds.” This Christ-centered form of relationship results in an undying devotion to those for whom he died. It is the lack of this covenant solidarity that is so damaging, not only to pastors but to all in the congregation.

What damage occurs when there is a loss of covenant solidarity? Or what if a church was founded originally on some other uniting principle rather than covenant solidarity? There are many dire results.

Cliques are born
First, people gravitate to those of their own stripe and therefore cliques are born. Instead of being interested in all people who are in Christ, people who don’t love Christ first and foremost find some other uniting principle, which typically involves shared interests. It’s striking how petty friendships become when Christ is left out. People unite around baking, motorcycles, hunting, music, and games. People naturally seek to flock with other birds like them, and without a cause bigger than themselves, they simply follow their personal inclinations.

Schismatics are born
Second, People make their own happiness the primary reason to be in a church, and so schismatics are born: those who will dump a church because it didn’t “scratch their back” well enough. People in churches like this are insecure, especially the pastors. They instinctively feel that they have to perform or “be what others want them to be,” and therefore they fear rejection and are dominated by the whims and opinions of others.

Idolatry is born
Third, when something other than Jesus Christ becomes the uniting principle in the local church, the church becomes fundamentally idolatrous. To put it simply, people are coming to church for other reasons than out of love for God. I tell my kids “you aren’t coming to church to see and be seen. You are coming to church to sing to God, pray to God, give to God, and hear from God so that you can love God, worship God and obey God. Church is all about relating to God.” When an entire church gets this, really gets it, a wonderful sort of harmony and tranquility enters, and the chaotic bustle and attempts at being the Great Personality fade away as everyone realizes there is only one answer, Jesus Christ, and they become content eagerly seeking him. The pastor then can function in his proper role. He can stop being a celebrity and start laboring at the task of feeding Christ’s dear sheep with Christ’s holy Word.

Fourth, another result is that the pastor takes the brunt of the idolatry. He is the most public person in the congregation, and people tend to expect more from him. Often the pastor goes along with this state of affairs and is unaware that it is occurring, even as he wonders why he feels that he is drying up, struggling with fear, and can’t take comfort from God’s Word anymore. Try being the Great Personality around which the church must be unified, and you’ll see how soul destroying it is. When a pastor “goes off the deep end” it is often because the whole group had already been swimming in it for some time.

Hatred is born
Fifth, another result is the hatred that springs up in idolaters’ hearts when their idol fails to live up to their expectations. This is inevitable when the congregation has a principle of unity other than Christ. The numbers of people who have inexplicably turned on pastors because they didn’t show up to a sporting event, or because they didn’t let them teach Sunday school, or because they didn’t check up on them enough, or because they “seemed uninterested” in them, or because they didn’t go along with a peculiar vision for the church . . . The numbers of such people are surprising, though thankfully not overwhelming. Of course there are other reasons why people become angry at pastors, but in this sense they do so because they have an idolatrous expectation bound up in human religious leadership, and I assume that they are unaware of their tragic spiritual state. They think they are following Jesus, but they need to put God in his proper place in their lives. They need to repent of their idolatry.

The burden that this sort of thing places on pastors is enormous, even when they recognize that it is happening and when they consistently, day-by-day deal with it correctly. The burden on their families is also enormous. And when it becomes too great to bear, the family unit ruptures, invisibly at first, but as relationships grow cold, the pastor has lost his God-given place of refuge in the world. If there is any weakness in his relationship with God, he’s bound to have all his personal weaknesses exploited by the enemy.

I believe that one reason pastors fall is a lack of covenant solidarity in the group. People aren’t united around Christ as the tie that binds.

“I am not Christ”
I once was in a class on the prophet Isaiah, which I took during my seminary years. The teacher was a very kind man, who was somewhat discombobulated all the time and yet still had something insightful to say every class period. I appreciated him, and apparently other people in class did too, to the level of idolizing him.

One day he came to class looking positively oppressed, and after opening the class with prayer, he said something I’ll never forget. He looked at the class, commiserated with some people about their difficult situations, and then he said “I am not Christ.” His point was an obvious one. Nobody thought he was Jesus, and at first I wondered what he was getting at. Nevertheless, it became apparent that he needed to say it. There were people in class who were putting him on a pedestal.

People expect far too much out of friends, teachers, and preachers. People expect things that only Jesus can provide: unfailing love, acceptance, security, total relational satisfaction, a heart large enough to feel all their woes. One of the signs of a godly pastor is that he doesn’t take too much on himself. The godly pastor knows who the true answer is, and he doesn’t try to be Him. When faced with the woes of a sin-cursed world, the godly pastor’s response is always “I care about you; I will pray for you; I’ll try to help you in whatever small way I can, but your answer is Jesus Christ as offered to you in the Bible. Go to him through Bible reading, prayer, good sermons, and the ordinances. He rewards those who seek him and will truly meet your every need.” Such an attitude not only points to the true help everyone needs, but it also avoids the trap of unbiblical idolatrous expectations that can literally drive pastors out of their minds and out of their pulpits.

This post cannot hope to give all the reasons why pastors fall, but one reason is no doubt that many pastors are suffering from an idolatrous culture, in which they themselves may be complicit, and which makes something other than Jesus the tie that binds.

Grace-Paced Life Links

More Americans than ever before are stressed, depressed and anxiety-ridden, and many are unable to get the help they need, a new study suggests. According to this report:

An estimated 8.3 million American adults — about 3.4 percent of the U.S. population — suffer from serious psychological distress, an evaluation of federal health data concluded. Previous estimates put the number of Americans suffering from serious psychological distress at 3 percent or less, the researchers said.

What’s the cause? According to Judith Weissman, research manager in the department of medicine at NYU Langone Medical Center in New York City, it’s “likely a lasting after-effect of the Great Recession that began in late 2007 — a stress-filled time that caused long-term emotional damage to many Americans.”

Many people psychologically affected by the Great Recession haven’t been able to get the help they need, either because they can’t afford it or because their condition hampers their ability to seek out treatment, she said.

As a result, hundreds of thousands of Americans live with serious psychological distress, an umbrella term that runs from general hopelessness and nervousness all the way up to diagnosable conditions such as depression and anxiety, Weissman explained.

And if you thought Americans had it bad, workaholic Japan has just introduced a law limiting workers to no more than 100 hours of overtime a month!

Royal Concern
Two British Royals, Princes William and Harry have also been talking about mental health issues in public. Prince William had a Facetime with Lady Gaga about the letter she wrote concerning her PTSD, and Prince Harry talked about his own long-term mental and emotional struggles following the death of his mother. Both emphasized the importance of removing shame and stigma by talking openly about these often invisible sufferings.

Prevention Better than Cure
In this short podcast Jared Wilson discusses how to Prevent Pastoral Burnout. He offers a three-words formula: Rest, Boundaries, and Margin. Tune in to hear his exposition and then read another take at Christianity Today. Their solution? Equip the Saints (Eph. 4:12), which Karl Vaters calls “the pastor’s prime mandate.”

In that passage, the Apostle Paul clearly tells us we have been called “for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.

The longer I pastor, the more convinced I am that one of the prime reasons for pastoral burnout is that too many pastors – especially small church pastors, like me – are ignoring that simple command.

5 Ways Exercise Helps the Leader’s Mind
Although it sounds counter-intuitive, one of the best ways to get more work done and increase free time is to add exercise to our daily routine. How does that work? Eric Geiger explains the 5 Ways Exercise Helps the Leader’s Mind.

  • Exercise increases learning ability.
  • Exercise lowers the impact of stress.
  • Exercise lowers sensitivity to anxiety.
  • Exercise helps fight depression.
  • Exercise increases memory capacity.

Sleep is the New Status Symbol
“Sleep is the single most effective thing you can do to reset your brain and body,” Dr. Walker of U.C. Berkeley said. If that doesn;t get you to read this article, try some other quotes like:

For years, studies upon studies have shown how bad sleep weakens the immune system, impairs learning and memory, contributes to depression and other mood and mental disorders, as well as obesitydiabetescancer and an early death. (Sedated sleep — hello Ambien — has been shown to be as deleterious as poor sleep.)

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calls sleeplessness a public health concern. Good sleep helps brain plasticity, studies in mice have shown; poor sleep will make you fat and sad, and then will kill you. It is also expensive: Last year, the RAND Corporation published a study that calculated the business loss of poor sleep in the United States at $411 billion — a gross domestic product loss of 2.28 percent.

Companies now fight “presenteeism,” a neologism that describes the lackluster performance of foggy-brained, sleep-deprived employees.

The Army has proclaimed sleep a pillar of peak soldier performance.

Jeff Bezos, the chief executive of Amazon, who used to take a sleeping bag to work when he was a lowly computer programmer, has said that his eight hours of sleep each night were good for his stockholders.

Aetna, the health care company, is paying its workers up to $500 a year if they can prove they have slept for seven hours or more for 20 days in a row.

For more, read Sleep is the New Status Symbol.

Get more Grace-Paced Life resources here.

Lies at the Heart of Addiction

It doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is – drink, drugs, food, gambling, porn, spending, tanning, people-pleasing, people-critiquing, control, digital technology, etc. – lies are at the heart of them all. That’s why Jesus said to religious addicts, ”You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”

Every addict tells four kinds of lies: lies about God, lies about themselves, lies about the sin, and lies about others. The only way to deliver addicts is to rip out these lies and replace them with truth.

Here’s a sampling, and it’s just a sampling, of the lies that addicts tell; and a sampling of the truths that can root them out and replace them.

Lies About God

Lie: God is not Good. He’s just being a spoilsport in forbidding this sin. The sin is good and God is bad.

Truth:  God is good to all and does good to all. His law is an expression of his goodness (Ps. 145:9; 119:68; Rom. 7:12).

Lie: God is not all-seeing. He can’t really see me when I do this.

Truth: God sees all people, all things, all events, at all times (Ps. 139:1-16; Prov. 15:3)

Lie: God is not judge. He will not call me to account for this.

Truth: We will give account for every deed done or not done, in public and in private (2 Cor. 5:10; Rom. 2:16)

Lie: God is not Savior. I’ve sinned too much for God to save me. There’s no point in even trying to be saved.

Truth: Whoever, whoever, whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. (Rom. 10:13; 1 John 1:9; John 6:37)

Lie: God is not enough. God will not satisfy me as sin does.

Truth: There is more than enough in God to satisfy the hungriest and thirstiest soul (Ps. 63:3-5; John 7:37)

Lies About Self

Lie: I don’t have a problem. I mean I sin, even quite a lot, but it’s not an addiction.

Truth: Whoever commits sin (lit. continues to practice sin) is a slave of sin (Rom. 6:16; John 8:34)

Lie: I’m not as bad as others.

Truth: Our standard of comparison is God’s Word, not other people (2 Cor. 10:12).

Lie: It’s not harming me.

Truth: Every sin hardens our hearts (Heb. 3:13) and ultimately ends in death (James 1:15).

Lie: If only you knew how hard and exceptional my circumstances are.

Truth: Your situation is common to many and they don’t resort to such sins (1 Cor. 10:13).

Lie: I cannot change and I cannot escape.

Truth: God always provides an escape route and he can give real freedom to anyone (1 Cor. 10:13; John 8:36).

Lies about Sin

Lie: This habit makes me happy.

Truth: Maybe, but it’s a very brief and fleeting happiness that leaves a bitter taste (Heb. 11:24-26).

Lie: This helps me forget my past.

Truth: The most important thing is for God to forget your past (Heb. 8:12).

Lie: Now is not a good time to stop.

Truth: Now is the accepted time, today is the day of salvation (2 Cor. 6:2).

Lies About Others

Lie: Those condemning me and trying to stop me are my enemies.

Truth: Those who try to stop you sinning are actually your best friends and they’re doing you a great kindness (Prov. 27:6; Ps. 141:5).

Lie: It’s my parents’/abuser’s/husband’s/wife’s fault.

Truth: When Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake, God blamed and punished all of them (Gen 3:14-19; Ezek. 18:20). The soul that sins, it shall die.

Lie: This doesn’t affect others.

Truth: Do you need a Bible verse for this? Just ask those around you what the truth is.

Lie: People are just objects.

Truth: Your porn addiction feeds its lust on divine image-bearers. You are watching people made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). You are abusing the divine image for your sexual pleasure.

Whatever you are addicted to, try to find the lies at its heart and then attack them with God’s powerful truth. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”


Recommended Books

Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch.

The Heart of Addiction by Mark Shaw.

You’ll also find some more addiction-specific mini-books in this excellent Lifeline series.

Check Out

Blogs

How My Daughter Bypassed The Wedding-Industrial Complex | Roger Selbert, The Federalist
Here’s hope for every family with daughters:

“Is it possible to plan a lavish and memorable wedding celebration without breaking the bank? Here’s how we did it.”

How a New Catechism Is Uniting Churches in Europe’s Last Pagan Nation | Sarah Eekhoff Zylsra, TGC
Read how the church is growing and changing in Lithuania.

Introducing Songs from The New City Catechism | Betsy Childs Howard, TGC
Here are some songs to help memorizing of The New City Catechism.

4 Reasons Your Work Matters Today | Michael Kelly, For The Church
“I can see at least four reasons why your work matters today, whether you’re a plumber, a preacher, a stay-at-home mom or a go-to-the-office dad:”

Is Unforgiveness Unforgivable? | Mark Dance, LifeWay Pastors
“Unforgiveness is the most consistent trap for pastors and church leaders that I have seen.”

How to Listen to a Sermon | Daryl Crouch, LifeWay Pastors
“In an age of multi-tasking, total and convenient access to the Internet, and increasing demands on our emotional energy, how can we fully engage, listen, and respond to the sermon from start to finish? What can the listener do to get the most out of every sermon?”

Dying of Despair | Robert VerBruggen, Institute for Family Studies
“In late 2015, Princeton’s Anne Case and Angus Deaton released a blockbuster paper revealing that mortality rates for middle-aged, non-Hispanic white Americans were going up, particularly for those with less education. They were not the first to notice that something had gone awry with this demographic, but their paper landed amidst a national conversation about an opioid epidemic that was, and is still, spiraling out of control.”

New Book


This Changes Everything: How the Gospel Transforms the Teen Years by Jaquelle Crowe. My 13-year-old finished this in less than two days. Loved it.

Kindle Books

For your non-Kindle book buying needs please consider using Reformation Heritage Books in the USA and Reformed Book Services in Canada. Good value prices and shipping.


A Clearing of the Mists: In Pursuit of Wisdom upon the Scottish Hills by Martin Haworth ($4.99)


Psalms by the Day by Alec Motyer ($8.99)


Eternity Changes Everything: How to live now in the light of your future by Stephen Witmer ($9.99)

Digital Detox Roundup

Here are your latest links to help you detox your digital life. More digital detox resources here.

8 Lies to Reject in Overcoming Lust and Pornography

  1. “You’re the only one facing this struggle.”
  2. “Read your Bible and pray every day, and the temptation will go away.”
  3. “Accountability will make the difference.”
  4. “A filter or block on your devices will protect you from a fall.”
  5. “It’s okay if it’s not hardcore porn.”
  6. “Get married, and the problem will disappear.”
  7. “You’ll grow out of the struggle as you get older.”
  8. “If you didn’t go looking for porn, you’re not as responsible.”

Click through for exegesis.

The Good News about New Brain Disorders | Amy Simpson
Amy analyzes the impact that technology is having upon our brains and our ability to function. She notes how most people don’t think much about brain-health

Most of us aren’t in the habit of thinking about, let alone intentionally caring for, the health of our brains. Those who are in such habits are likely to be people who study brains for a living (people like neurologists and psychiatrists, not zombies) or people who have had something go seriously wrong with their brains, to the point where it interfered with their ability to function. Their experience has convinced them their brains are worth nurturing deliberately…. As we learn more and more about how our brains work, and what they need, we may begin to think differently about taking them for granted.

But she also sounds an optimistic note:

But I didn’t start writing this to issue a warning; I wanted to share hope. There is good news here, in the changeability (plasticity) of our brains. Just as our environment and experiences can have a detrimental effect on our brains, they can have a healing effect. We can make choices that promote health in our brains–even when our brains are already disordered. In fact, that’s one of the reasons good therapists can be so helpful–they help us find new ways of thinking and adapting to our realities. As a coach, I know my work can have this effect too, even though it is not designed to heal or treat mental health problems. Our brains really can learn to be healthier as we treat them well.

Assessment: How Mindful Are You?
Did you know that people spend almost 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, which impairs their creativity, performance, and well-being? The Harvard Business Review provides a questionnaire to help us gauge our ability to focus, a mental skill that is becoming as important as emotional intelligence and technical skills.

On Loneliness and Addictive Technology | New City Commons
This piece links to a number of helpful articles and resources. It highlights a growing  counter-movement within Silicon Valley that encourages developers to attend to human frailty, rather than exploit it.

The attention economy, which showers profits on companies that seize our focus, has kicked off what Harris calls a “race to the bottom of the brain stem.” “You could say that it’s my responsibility” to exert self-control when it comes to digital usage, he explains, “but that’s not acknowledging that there’s a thousand people on the other side of the screen whose job is to break down whatever responsibility I can maintain.

You can join the movement here.

Penns restaurant gives discount to phone-free diners | Daily Mail Online
Sarah’s Corner Café in Stroudsburg has started offering 10 percent off checks if families can go without checking their phones. The restaurant has set up ‘family recharging stations’ at tables so people can drop their phone into a basket before they order. and they get the discount if they can get through the meal without checking them.

The Fearful and Wonderful Art of Flirting | Desiring God
Great piece of analysis and writing from Tony Reinke:

Social media normalizes voyeurism and makes it possible to stare at pictures of attractive people. On social media, perhaps flirtations begin with studying a woman’s picture. She follows you on Twitter or Facebook, or she makes a kind comment. Her interest in you sparks in you a kind of curiosity in her images. You open her profile picture and study it. Your eyes linger on her profile longer than they should. You go to her Facebook or Instagram feed and you scroll for more images. Maybe she has a boyfriend or a husband, but it doesn’t matter. You respond. Maybe it begins with a follow back. And then maybe a direct message, or a text, or an otherwise obscure comment in public, or even something more private.

It’s not hard to imagine how it begins. Soon enough, digital flirting leads to private conversations where you share your dreams and disappointments, your hopes and longings. Soon enough two smartphones have carved out a private space — now you’re on a digital date — and nobody else knows.

Digital Detox Round Up

Porn, Technology, & Christians | The American Conservative
Rod Dreher warns:

If I posted every story I heard about the devastating effect pornography is having on Christian individuals, couples, and families, it would overwhelm you. It is impossible to guarantee that your kids will never see it when they’re young, but for pity’s sake, do you have to make it easy for them by giving them smartphones?

9 Things That Are Still Great About Facebook Despite Everything
Especially #1-6:

  1. Facebook Allows You to Find People You’ve Lost
  2. It Provides a Community You Might Otherwise Not Have.
  3. Opportunities to Practice Good Discourse and Manners
  4. Facebook Provides Opportunities for Prayer
  5. Facebook Allows Closer Contact with Extended Family
  6. It Helps Spread the Word about Causes You Care About

It’s A Problem Literature Reading Is Low. ‘Digital Temperance’ Can Help

We cannot discuss growing apathy over reading without considering the impact technology has had on our tastes. The most obvious way we see technology shape our reading (or lack thereof) is in the distractions and amusements it presents.

Over-Consumption of Internet Media | Thinking Out Loud
Whether it’s Facebook or internet porn, it’s really easy to spend sections of your day staring at your device, be it phone, tablet, laptop or desktop. There are general principles from scripture I think we do well to remember; these can give us guidance regardless of which type of addiction you’re dealing with.

  • Self-Control
  • Mind, Thoughts and Heart
  • The Stewardship of Our Time
  • Shifting Values
  • Misdirected Worship

I Am iPhone: How Our Tech Endangers Our Relationships
“Certain family therapy theorists maintain that when you are working with a couple, there are always three people in the room to consider: the man, the woman, and the relationship itself. The more I have begun to work with couples, the more I’ve realized that this maxim is actually a half-truth. There are three people in the room, but far too often the third ‘person’ is one partner’s smartphone.”

5 Warning Signs for the Church in a ‘Facebook Culture’

Here are a five characteristics of a “Facebook culture” we must reckon with as believers:

  1. Short Attention Span/Limited Learning Style
  2. Low View of Authority/Overfocus on Equality
  3. ‘Surfacey’ Interactions/Artificial Relationships.
  4. Lack of Physical Presence
  5. Low Commitment/Accountability

Internet Boundaries for Kids: 6 Tips for Online Safety — GRACE
There are many ways parents can help keep their children safe online, by creating healthy, clear boundaries:

  1. Keep computers, tablets, and any other electronic devices in the public spaces of your home.
  2. Teach your children basic safety procedures online.
  3. Use the features already available to you on your devices.
  4. Set clear rules for your home and family.
  5. Explore software options.
  6. Be involved.

Losing our humanity: Technology’s increasing authority in our lives | ERLC
“While technological advances are a great gift from God, they can and will be abused because we are broken and sinful. We have the innate ability to take the good that God gives us and manipulate it in an attempt to glorify and set ourselves as gods over our lives.”

New Book

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place by Andy Crouch

More Digital Detox Resources here.