I Will Go After My Lovers

I’m devoting the next few weeks to working on a project that’s going to demand most of my mental energy. So apart from the usual Mon-Fri Checkout which will continue, I won’t be writing an additional daily article. Instead, I’m going to post a series of daily devotionals on Hosea that I wrote a few years ago.


“I will go after my lovers” (Hosea 2:5).

God’s “I will” is always coming into conflict with our “I will.” Instead of, “Not my will, but your will be done,” we assert, “Not your will, but my will be done.” Instead of asking God, “What will you have me to do?” we, as it were, look God in the eye and wonder, “What will I have you to do?”

Hosea’s repeated re-assertion of the “I will of God” was rendered necessary by the daringly disobedient “I will” of Israel. Here, Hosea portrays Israel as a wife with a perfect husband. He lovingly brings her home all she needs. He opens the door and puts bread, water, wool, flax, oil, and drink on the table. She takes all these gifts and packs them away in her cupboards. But then she walks straight past her loving husband without so much as a “thank you,” and walks out the door, saying, “I will go after my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink.”

Israel took the loving gifts and ignored the loving Giver. Worse, she attributed the loving gifts to the enemies and opponents of the loving Giver. And then, as if that was not bad enough, she turned her back on the loving Giver, and went to praise and party with “lovers” who were actually enemies not only of herself but also of the loving Giver.

Confused believer, surely you must confess that you have re-enacted this scene many times in your life. The Lord has been a perfect Husband to you and has richly blessed you in His love. But, instead of saying “I will go after my Lover,” you have said, “I will go after my lovers.” You have taken His gifts and ignored Him.

How many times have you bypassed opportunities to worship and pray in order to go after worldly pastimes and pleasures? Are these your lovers? What has TV ever done for your soul? Did sport die for you? Does music ever live to make intercession for you? Does your investment portfolio love you with an everlasting love? Have your friends laid down their lives for you? Turn away from what is turning you away from Christ. Resolve by His grace, “I will go after my Lover.”

I Will Avenge

I’m devoting the next few weeks to working on a project that’s going to demand most of my mental energy. So apart from the usual Mon-Fri Checkout which will continue, I won’t be writing an additional daily article. Instead, I’m going to post a series of daily devotionals on Hosea that I wrote a few years ago.


“I will avenge” (Hosea 1:4).

The “I will” of God dominates the book of Hosea. The phrase appears over seventy times in fourteen chapters. A few times, it appears in the negative “I will not,” and tells us what God will not do. Mostly, it is stated positively and tells us what God will do to and for His people.

There are two main classes of “I will” statements in Hosea. The first class is judgmental and reveals God’s resolute determination to chastise His erring people. The second and largest class is redemptive and reveals God’s emphatic determination to restore His chastised people to the fullest possible experience of His love.

God’s people need both of these divine “I wills” in their lives. Both are rooted in God’s love, both reveal God’s love, and both result in God’s love being shed abroad in the heart. Without the “I will avenge,” we would become complacent and cold. Without the “I will allure,” we would give in and give up. Sometimes we need to hear the solemn “I will avenge.” Sometimes we need to hear the soothing “I will allure.” The Christian’s life oscillates between these two poles. Indeed, it might be said that we are constantly experiencing either “I will allure” or “I will avenge.”

Here, Hosea is promising God’s vengeance on Israel for King Jehu’s brutal role in Ahab’s gruesome death at Jezreel (2 Kings 9 –10). Though Jehu had obeyed God’s commission to execute, he had displayed trickery, butchery, and hypocrisy in doing so. And, in calling his child by the name of this site of murderous bloodlust, Hosea was reminding Israel that though this event had happened over a hundred years previously, it had still not been repented of, that the attitudes behind it were still prevalent in the land, and that God would chastise them for this.

Christian friend, are you experiencing the “I will avenge” of God? Are you under the rod of His anger? Are you mystified as to why? Could it be that there is a specific sin, perhaps committed many years ago, which you have not honestly faced up to and repented of? Or are some of the sinful attitudes behind such a sin still lingering and still poisoning your soul? If so, then be thankful for the “I will avenge” of God. Mercifully, He will not leave you to perish or pine away in your sin.

Check out

Blogs

The Paradox of Chronic Pain | TGC
“Only recently have I discovered that I’m not alone in this pain. About 40 percent of Americans suffer from chronic, persistent, and untreatable pain. Imagine this: in a congregation of 200 adults, about 80 of us are currently in pain. So how can pastors, churches, and ministries better understand and care for their suffering members? ”

4 Simple Responses to Science-Based Atheism | TGC
“You don’t need a degree in science to have something to say to those with scientific objections to faith. Here are four simple responses to those who claim science has either disproved God or has made belief in God unnecessary.”

Relativity, Moral Relativism, and the Modern Age | AlbertMohler.com
“Moral relativism and the rejection of absolute truth now shape the modern post-Christian mind. Indeed, relativism is virtually taken for granted, at least as an excuse for overthrowing theistic truth claims and any restrictive morality.”

The 2016 Reading Challenge
New reading challenge from Tim Challies. “Whether you are a light reader or completely obsessed, this 2016 Reading Challenge is designed to help you read more and to broaden the scope of your reading.”

Building Margin into Your Schedule | Thinking Out Loud
“About five years ago in a Sunday morning service our pastor was talking about the importance of having margin in your life. Margin to hear from God, to wait before Him and to expect miracles. That’s vital at a time of year when margin is slim because of the busy-ness of the season.”

Four Reasons Burnout Is More Prevalent in Ministry Leadership | Eric Geiger
“While the burden will be great, ministry leaders must care for themselves so that they can care for others over the long haul. When a ministry leader burns out, the whole body suffers.”

Enough is Enough | Gentle Reformation
“Enough is enough of believing no correlation exists between the violence of the shooter at the Planned Parenthood clinic and the violence within. The poor victims killed by the shooter were innocent and should not have had their blood shed and lives ended so suddenly and tragically. So what about the unborn being taken into the clinic to be aborted? As Hosea said, ”They sow the wind and they reap the whirlwind” (Hosea 8:7).”

Kindle Books

Martyn Lloyd-Jones: His Life and Relevance for the 21st Century by Christopher Catherwood , $4.99.

The Christ-Centered Preaching of Martyn Lloyd-Jones: Classic Sermons for the Church Today $4.99.

Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More – Poet, Reformer, Abolitionist by Karen Swallow Prior $1.99.

Jesus and the Feminists: Who Do They Say That He Is? by Margaret Kostenberger, $2.99.

The Mark of the Christian by Francis Schaeffer $3.67.

Video

Evolution destroyed in under 5 mins: David Berlinski
“David Berlinski (born 1942) is an American philosopher, educator, and author.Berlinski is a senior fellow of the Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture. A critic of the theory of evolution, Berlinski refuses to theorize about the origins of life, and describes himself as a secular Jew.”

Marriage

Book Recommendations


Christian Living in the Home by Jay E. Adams


Married for God: Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be by Christopher Ash


Friends and Lovers: Cultivating Companionship and Intimacy in Marriage by Joel Beeke


What Is the Meaning of Sex? by Denny Burk


The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman


You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis and Lisa Chan


The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption by Matt Chandler


With One Voice: Singleness, Dating & Marriage to the Glory of God by Alex and Marni Chediak


When Sinners Say “I Do” by Dave Harvey


The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim Keller


Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne A. Mack


A Christ-Centered Wedding: Rejoicing in the Gospel on Your Big Day by Catherine Parks and Lisa Strode


Happily Ever After: Finding Grace in the Messes of Marriage by Piper, et al.


This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence by John Piper


The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage by R. C. Sproul


A Biblical Guide to Love, Sex, and Marriage by Derek and Rosemary Thomas


Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? by Gary L. Thomas

Article Links

You will find articles organized under the general outline of Love, Know, Speak, Do (See Paul Tripp’s Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands). You can find more resources on other subjects here.

LOVE

Man, Woman, and the Mystery of Christ: An Evangelical Protestant Perspective | TGC | The Gospel Coalition

I Still Believe in Marriage | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

3 Ways the Gospel Changes Marriage by Erik Raymond | Ligonier Ministries Blog

What’s the point of marriage? Three books and some thoughts | The Briefing

Marriage & My Common Good | Mere Orthodoxy | Christianity, Politics, and Culture

Borrowed Light: Marriage Defined

On the Day I Married Her | Challies Dot Com

A Wife’s Inner Beauty: Convicting and Compelling – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Have we Christians made Marriage too Complicated? – -Kimberley Kay-

Why Marriage Is Better Than Cohabitation

Is God the Center of Your Marriage? | Desiring God

Marriage is Not the Most Sanctifying Agent | Sayable

 

Marriage in Culture

Why We Stare at Brides | RealClearReligion

The Ideal Modern Marriage | First Thoughts | Blogs | First Things

what is marriage? | Don’t Stop Believing

Save up to marry? Or marry to save up? | Institute of Marriage and Family Canada

Two Is Better Than One—Who Knew? – Albert Mohler.com

Unequal, Unfair, and Unhappy: The 3 Biggest Myths About Marriage Today – W. Bradford Wilcox – The Atlantic

The Best Sermon I’ve Ever Heard on Marriage | For His Renown

No one can really redefine marriage | Denny Burk

Why Christians Care About Sex | Andrew Walker | First Things

The pressure of proposing

Michael Jensen asks: Is Chastity Possible?

‘I Miss My Daddy. Divorce Stinks.’ – NYTimes.com

It’s Not Just The Economy Devastating Working-Class Families

If You Care About The Poor, Care About Marriage

The Poverty Problem Is A Marriage Problem

An 81-year marriage is impressive, but it shouldn’t be fetishised | Catherine Deveny | theguardian.com

How Marital Infidelity Became America’s Last Sexual Taboo – Hugo Schwyzer – The Atlantic

Two Classes in America, Divided by ‘I Do’ – NYTimes.com

No hooking up, no sex for some coeds – CNN.com

Replacing marriage

Is Your 50-50 Relationship Ruining Your Marriage?

Out of the Ordinary: What to do and what not to do when your child dates an unbeliever

The Divorce Revolution Has Bred An Army Of Woman Haters

‘Married At First Sight’ Explains Why Americans Can’t Commit

We Should Expect Non-Christians to Share Our Morals | Christianity Today

Ashley Madison and the Death of Monogamy – AlbertMohler.com

What is Marriage to Evangelical Millennials? | Abigail Rine | First Things

Personal Testimonies

Worth Fighting For | En Route

The Reluctant Idols: Reflections of a Bride-To-Be | RAANetwork

Today Was Supposed to Be My Wedding Day – The Gospel Coalition Blog

I Would Rather Die | Desiring God

Kay Warren: ‘We Were in Marital Hell’ | CT Women | Christianity Today

3 Reasons I’m Grateful to Have Married Young

After 30 years, it’s good to be married – Chicago Tribune

My Real Life Hosea Story | Christianity Today

Sanctified by marriage and children

One Day He Appeared: My TGC Love Story | TGC | The Gospel Coalition

Statistics and Research

Masters of Love – The Atlantic

The Divorce-Proof Marriage – The Atlantic

Marriage – a miracle cure

Children and Marriage – Kevin DeYoung

Study Finds More Reasons to Get and Stay Married | Denny Burk

When the Wife is Happy

Cohabitation and Marriage: A New Study with Revealing Results

Cohabitation’s Transaction Costs | First Things

Fewer men are working, and marriage is dying. | Dal rock

‘Marriage Markets’ Looks at Pressures on Families – NYTimes.com

Is Marriage Good for Your Health? – NYTimes.com

New Research Debunks The ‘Ball And Chain’ Myth – The Aquila Report

Better sex, better health, more money: What men really get out of marriage | Fox News

Pastors’ Joys and Struggles With Family Life

Report: Global Spike In Cohabitation Is Destabilizing Children’s Lives

The Number One Predictor of Divorce and How to Fix It – John Gottman

This might be the key to a happy marriage

The Right Time To Marry Is…

KNOW

To Have and to Hold, In Hardship and Unhappiness | Her.meneutics | Christianitytoday.com

12 Frequent Questions About Our International Marriage | TGC

Ten Simple (But Critical) Questions to Consider in Marriage Counseling | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

What You Don’t Need to Forgive | Brad Hambrick

Nagging in Marriage Is More Common Than Adultery But Can Also Lead to Divorce – WSJ.com

Were the Puritans Prudes? | Blogging Theologically | Jesus, Books, Culture, & Theology

Martin Luther on Marriage as a School of Character – The Gospel Coalition Blog

A Summary and Questions to Ask on Divorce and Remarriage – Justin Taylor

Marriage and Emotional Intelligence — TIM LANE

Did Old Testament Men Treat Their Wives Like Property? | Stand to Reason

Top 5 Obstacles to Having a Great Christian Marriage – Ron Edmondson

On Headship and Households | MOS – Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals

3 Reasons Those Who Are Unbiblically Remarried After a Divorce Should Not Leave Their New Spouse | TGC

Me Tarzan, You Jane? : Girls Gone Wise

Godly Manhood – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Pre-Marital Considerations

A Christian Case Against Early Marriage | Her.meneutics | Christianitytoday.com

The Case for Early Marriage | Christianity Today

Marriage Sounds Great—But How On Earth Do I Get There?

Counsel to a Young Church Planter on Marriage – The Gospel Coalition Blog

An Open Letter to My Daughter | The Cripplegate

AlbertMohler.com – Marry Outside the Faith? The Logic of Christian Marriage

7 Issues to Address in Pre-Marital Counseling | Ron Edmondson

Premarital Counseling: Things to Cover | Ron Edmondson

Matrimony No More | Desiring God

Marriage Troubles

John Wesley’s Failed Marriage (Reprise) | the Cripplegate

True Woman | 25 Years of Evangelizing My Husband

Top 10 Fights in Marriage | Girls Gone Wise: Spiritual Smarts for Womanhood, Life & Love

What Principles Guide My First Meeting with a Couple in Marital Crisis? | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

SPEAK

Honeymoon Marriage…Impossible? A guest post by Francie Winslow | The Exchange | A Blog by Ed Stetzer

Marriage Is Death | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

Pain in Christian Marriage | The Christward Collective

What is a helpful practice to grow in gratefulness for your spouse? | Practical Shepherding

The Secret to Having a Marriage that Never Goes Stale | Goins, Writer

10 Personalities that Have No Place in Christian Marriage | TGC

What You Really Need In Marriage

How 20-Something Entitlement Nearly Ruined My Marriage | Storyline Blog

True Woman | Is There Hope for My Marriage?

10 Things I’ve Learned after 26 Years of Marriage | The Exchange | A Blog by Ed Stetzer

Two for Twenty! | East Point Church

The Day After the Hoopla-Housewife Theologian

Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse Is So Important

A Possible Marriage Saver in Nine Steps – Desiring God

Treasure Your Marriage – Tim Challies

Marriage Lessons from the Luthers | CT Women | Christianity Today

Opposites Attract | Desiring God

What are 10 things that might help a pastor and his wife stay married and in ministry? | Practical Shepherding

If He Does Not Love Jesus, He Will Not Love You | Desiring God

The 4 Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made in Marriage | For The Church

The Silent Marriage-Killer | Desiring God

Beware of Quicksand: How One Stranger’s Comment Changed My Marriage Forever | Becky ThompsonBecky Thompson

Marital Intimacy Is More Than Sex | Desiring God

The Most Important Ingredient to Improve Your Marriage — TIM LANE

Ten Diagnostic Questions for Your Marriage | TGC

7 Gospel-Centered Principles for Protecting Your Marriage | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

10 Ways that Satan Loves to Watch Marriages Fall Apart | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

Advice to Young Marrieds? Why Michelle Duggar’s Newlywed Sex Advice Hurts Women AND Men | Musings of a Christian Psychologist

Life is Short. Don’t Have an Affair.

15 Wisdom Principles on Deciding When to Stop Having Children | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

8 Lessons from 20 Years of Marriage – The Gospel Coalition

Nine things we’re glad we’ve learned in our marriage (so far)

For Churches and Pastors

Would I Officiate a Wedding for Two Unbelievers? Yes – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Should Ministers Officiate at the Weddings of Unbelievers? No

What Not to Say to Single Women in Your Church – Kevin DeYoung

Love and Repect: Basics for Marriage | Desiring God

Why Sexual Faithfulness Should Matter to the Church – Part 1 | Counseling One Another

Why Sexual Faithfulness Should Matter to the Church – Part 2 | Counseling One Another

Pre-Marital Considerations

I don’t wait anymore. | Grace for the road

When the Wedding Night isn’t Perfect | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

It Matters Whom You Marry « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

Her.meneutics: Why Jesus Isn’t Your Boyfriend: A Critique of Dating God

Don’t Take It from Me: Reasons You Should Not Marry an Unbeliever – The Gospel Coalition Blog

May I marry for looks? An Open Letter to Single Male Idiots | the Cripplegate

How to Destroy Your Marriage Before It Begins – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Take Your Vitamin Z: Two Posts for Singles That Wish To Be Married

When the Not-Yet Married Meet: Dating to Display Jesus – Desiring God

Dude, Where’s Your Bride? – Kevin DeYoung

Reasons To Get Married In School « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

Why I Don’t Date Men Who Are ‘Willing’ To Save Sex For Marriage

Unequally Yoked | The Cripplegate

Before You Marry, Question Your Relationship

You Are Not Damaged Goods | Desiring God

I Messed Up: Confessing Sin to Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Before You Get Engaged | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

Single You Will Be the Married You | Desiring God

Six Traits to Look for in a Spouse | Desiring God

When Marriage Is Miles Away: On Long-Distance Dating | Desiring God

Marriage Troubles

Advice For Those Married to a Withholding Spouse – Borrowed Light

How I Predict Divorce Based on the Wedding Cake

Enough is Enough | Gary Thomas

Couples Who Stay Married Think Differently From Those Who Divorce

Does Grace and Forgiveness Erase Negative Consequences or Amends Making after Serious Sin? – Leslie Vernick- Christ-Centered Counseling

Hope for a Hopeless Marriage | Prince on Preaching

The secret to staying married | Dalrock

How an Affair Really Begins | Challies Dot Com

A Triage for Marriage Conflicts | ACBC

 

For Wives

His Heart Trusts in Her by Steven Lawson | Reformed Theology Articles at Ligonier.org

Honoring God in an Unequally Yoked Marriage – The Gospel Coalition Blog

10 Things Your Husband Hates | True Woman

The Absent Minded Husband « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

Practical Theology for Women: The Value of Quiet Husbands

The Self-Righteous Wife – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Let the Wife See She Respects Her Husband – Tim Challies

 

For Husbands

Letters of Note: Love, Dad

Husbands, Hold Your Wife’s Hand

Husbands, A Warning Against Bitterness by William Boekestein | Ligonier Ministries Blog

Husbands: A Tip that Could Save Your Marriage | Ordinary Pastor

Husbands: Don’t Treat your Wife Like a Guy | Ordinary Pastor

The Upward Call – The Upward Call – For the guy with the “smokin’ hot wife”

Dear Young, Christian Husband With a Job and Healthy Wife Who Wants a Baby « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

When Your Wife Struggles to Follow You | The Cripplegate

The Upward Call – The Upward Call – What every woman wants men to know …

Masculinity and the Priority of Love – Reformation21 Blog

A Husband’s Manual for Marriage | Desiring God

The World Needs More One-Woman Men | Desiring God

The Curse of a Godly Wife | Challies Dot Com

How to Be a Puritan Husband | Desiring God

DO

7 Commandments of a Great Marriage – Ron Edmondson

So We Can Talk More Good | Gentle Reformation

Six Questions That Will Radically Change Your Marriage | Refine Us

10 Ways to Cultivate Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Part 1) | RAANetwork (Part 2)

An End-of-Year Marriage Check-Up | TGC

10 Ways to Grow Your Marriage While Having Young Kids

How to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend

4 Of The Best Pieces of Marital Advice I’ve Ever Heard | The Blazing Center

One Simple Trick to Strengthen Your Marriage – Michael Hyatt

Living Intentionally Together as a Married Couple | TGC

How to Handle Your Spouse’s Sexual Past | Desiring God

Leaving and Cleaving « THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

 

Don’ts

5 Mistakes I Continue To Make in My Marriage. « The Happiness Project

8 Things Healthy Couples Don’t Do | RELEVANT Magazine

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage

Five Wonderful “Won’ts” I Learned From My Parents | The Blazing Center

12 Habits That Lead to Divorce • ChurchLeaders.com

How Husbands Can Get Their Wives to Resent Them | The Cripplegate

Five Ways the Church Can Help Married and Engaged Couples | Ashley McGuire | First Things

Thinking about an Affair? Count the Cost – Michael Hyatt

Pre-Marital Counseling

11 Ways Engaged Couples Should Deal with Finances Now

10 Issues To Work Through Before You Get Married – Tim Challies

Advice for engaged couples | The Cripplegate

 

Marriage Troubles

10 Step Progression of Restoring Broken Trust | Brad Hambrick

The Journey to Restoring Broken Trust, Part Two | Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

How Broken Trust Regrows: 10 Stage Progression – Covenant Eyes

 

For Wives

30 Pieces of Advice for the New Wife | True Woman Blog | Revive Our Hearts

15 Ways to Please Your Husband | True Woman

4 Ways To Live Out Your Role As Helper

Three Ways to Love Your Imperfect Husband | Desiring God

For Husbands

Ten Years, Ten Lessons – Kevin DeYoung

Husbands, 8 Admonitions to Love Your Wife by William Boekestein | Ligonier Ministries Blog

20 Things a Husband Can Say to Defuse an Argument with His Wife | Counseling One Another

10 Things to Pray for Your Wife – Desiring God

20 Ideas for Dating Your Wife | Justin Buzzard

Feeding on Christ 7 Ways to Care for Your Wife – Feeding on Christ

How to Make Headship Decisions: A Tutorial for Husbands & Leaders | Brad Hambrick

10 Ways to Exercise Christlike Headship | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

RESOURCES

Websites

How We Love

Sexual Integrity Resources for Teens | Redeemed Reader

Church/Counseling Resources and Study Guides

Free Comprehensive Gospel-Centered Pre-Marital Mentoring Program | Brad Hambrick

VLOG – Why Mentoring for Pre-Marital Counseling? | Brad Hambrick

Marriage Evaluation: Knowing Each Other & Healthy Expectations | Brad Hambrick

Index: 15 Gospel-Centered Marriage Evaluation Tools | Brad Hambrick

“The Meaning of Marriage” Study Guide | Do Not Disturb

Marriage & Motherhood: Meaning of Marriage (Keller) Discussion Guide

Follow Up Resources for a Sermon on Headship and Submission | Brad Hambrick

240 Marriage Communication Topics | Brad Hambrick

Gary Thomas | Sacred Marriage

‘Meaning of Marriage’ Group Study from Tim and Kathy Keller

Book Reviews
You and Me Forever

The Mingling of Souls

And Yet Another Marriage Book

eJournal : 9Marks Marriage Book Comparison Chart | 9Marks

Ancient Wisdom for a Sexualized World | TGC | The Gospel Coalition

A Christ-Centered Wedding – What’s Best Next

5 Resources for Cultivating a Beautiful Culture of Marriage and Sexuality

 

Podcasts

How Can My Difficult Marriage Glorify Christ? | Desiring God

Are Men Superior to Women? | Desiring God

Should I Finish School Before I Marry? Six Options to Consider | Desiring God

Here are four things most wives want from their husbands – Urban Faith

Season 5, Episode 12: 4 Easy Steps to Affair-Proof Your Marriage [Podcast] – Michael Hyatt

 

Sermons

Marriage – Tim Keller Series

Preaching On The Family « unashamed

The Rykens on Men, Women, and Marriage – Justin Taylor

Videos

N. T. Wright On Marriage as a Signpost | TGC

Piper, Carson, and Keller on Sustaining the Covenant of Marital Love – The Gospel Coalition Blog

Men and Women : Who are We? (Part 1) – Ryan Fullerton – YouTube

Sex Before Marriage: How Far Is Too Far? | CCEF

After 12 months, Leo and Cynthia Divorced | Denny Burk

Millennials and Marriage: Evaluating The Younger Generation’s Views on Sexuality and Marriage | TGC

“Hey wanna go to a movie?”

“Hey wanna go to a movie?”

With such and similar text messages do many Christian guys attempt to initiate relationships today.

It’s all so abrupt, so direct, so in-your-face, so quick, so cold, so inconsequential, so easy.

No preparation, no warm-up, no strategy, no “diplomacy,” no awkward conversations, no face-to-face contact. Just a stark and curt text that often produces a similar reply…then on to the next cell number.

Guys, whatever happened to wooing? That’s an old word for the slow, patient, skillful, tentative, breathtaking, exciting, agonizing, frustrating alluring of the young woman of your dreams? It seems to have become a lost art.

Wooing
You’ve probably no idea what I’m talking about do you? Read Song of Solomon or Hosea for an idea.

Wooing usually starts with a look, then a second look, followed by repeated looks and lingering looks. You then graduate to attention-seeking looks where you want her to actually see you looking at her. Yes, you might quickly look away the first time your eyes meet but soon you’ll want that look to lock even for just a few seconds, long enough to convey something more than “just friends” but something less than “creepy stalker.

Then come the attempts to “bump” into her unexpectedly, or to “accidentally” maneuver yourself beside her at church, or you just have to ask her a vital question about something of no importance whatosoever.

Ah, yes, the first dry-mouthed, flushed-face, knee-trembling, heart-palpitating conversation. And a second. And a third. Time standing still in these treasured moments and going backwards in between times.

Pleasant Pain
I remember it well and all too painfully. That lengthy period of anxiety and uncertainty as I carefully tried to cultivate friendship, then deeper friendship, then romantic friendship, and so on, all without spooking her into thinking that in my mind it’s a done deal and I’ve already got her chained to the sink with five kids hanging off her apron.

Sure, the inching a little forwards then a fraction backwards over many weeks caused a lot of sleepless nights (at least at my end). For months I just longed to know, “But what does she really think?” Have I blown it? Did I imagine it?

Daisies disappeared from every lawn for daily dissection “She loves me – she loves me not.”

Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic or just hopelessly outdated but I think the old way of wooing with all its attendant tension and anguish was a better way than the present weekly lottery that leaves so many cold and broken hearts in its trail.

Wooing dignifies women. It treats them with respect and honor. We don’t just spray careless and thoughtless texts around like gunshot, hoping to bag a bird here or there with a bit of luck. No, these are precious and sensitive human beings that we are to handle carefully and gently.

Wooing protects women. Wooing means that there’s a period of time where we can gradually test her response and our feelings without a commitment from either side – and therefore without raising then dashing expectations. Taking someone on a date as a first move raises the stakes and the temperature way too high, especially if only to plunge her into icy cold water the next day as you move on to the next target.

Wooing reduces experimentation. Some Christian guys are getting to marriage having dated multiple girls. They’ve got bursting pockets full of movie tickets and restaurant receipts from their various try-outs. So many of these shredded tickets and hearts could have been avoided with a more patient and tentative approach.

Wooing increases prayer. A text costs nothing – no money and no emotions. But wooing is so terrifying and potentially humiliating that you cannot but pray without ceasing – even if only to get some sleep in the meantime. You’re putting yourself, your ego and your reputation on the line. Instead of spraying the local female population with texts in the hope that one of them bites, you’re left utterly dependent on God inclining her eyes, ears and heart towards you.

Wooing teaches us about the Gospel. The whole Bible is a divine wooing of sinners like us. But it’s especially in Solomon’s Song and Hosea that the passionate wooing of God is front and center. God puts Himself on the line, He puts Himself up for rejection, as He pursues us with every fiber of His being, and ultimately with every agonized atom of His body at Calvary.

God doesn’t text the Gospel to us. He woos us with everything He’s got.

Top 70 Resources on Christ in the Old Testament

The latest in a periodic series highlighting resources on the Web.

That last entry lists the best of the web by various authors on Christ in the Old Testament. The list below links to the blog articles I’ve written on Christ in the Old Testament.

7 Ways the Old Testament Deepens our Love for Jesus

Jesus on Every Page Poem

Top 50 Books on Christ in the Old Testament

Excellency of the Gospel Above the Law

Covenant Theology for the Rest of Us

7 Reasons to Study Your Old Testament

Christ in the OT: Calvin’s Eight Principles

Noah’s Ark and the Cross of Christ

John Newton on Christ in the Old Testament

Why Sing the Psalms?

The Popularity, Pitfalls, And Practice Of Christ-Centered Interpretation

Christ-Centered Hermeneutics and Typology

Jesus on Every Page Podcast

4 Ways To Get From Joseph To Jesus

The Most God-Like Man In The Old Testament

Two Keys To Old Testament Prophecy

I Wish I’d Died In Your Place

Is the Law our Greatest Enemy?

Two Vital Old Testament Questions

Is This The Most Sexist Verse In The Bible?

God’s Powerpoint of Grace

7 Reasons the Old Testament is Neglected

Calling All Women’s Bible studies

4 Ways to Sing the “I’m Persecuted” Psalms

6 Tips for Choosing Books on the Old Testament

Law and Gospel in the Old Testament

5 Reasons to Study Old Testament history

What’s the Difference Between Typology and Allegory?

“Death, You Shall Die”

Mercy for Roadkill

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

20 Tips on How to Use Bible commentaries

Can you Preach the Gospel from the Law?

Was Abraham a Flip-flopper?

The Prototype Believer

Therapeutic Praise

Desiring the God who Desires Sinners

7 Tips for Balanced Biographical Preaching

30 “I will’s” from Hosea

Sermon Notes on Song of Solomon

Reclaiming the Old Testament for Christian Preaching: Narratives

God’s Face

The Old Testament on One Page

10 Problems with Old Testament Teaching

A Good Question from Justin Taylor

Two Mistakes in Bible Interpretation

A Sponge, a Dropper, and a Pressure Washer

10 Ways that Believers Experienced the Holy Spirit in the OT

Did the Holy Spirit Indwell OT believers?

Mr and Mrs Israelite Read Ruth

Reformed Forum: Christ in the Old Testament

Why Does God Seem so Different in the OT than in the NT?

Do Christians Have to Obey Old Testament laws?

Some Faulty Theological Arithmetic

How Many Animals will Save my Soul?

Big Question. Bigger Consequences

Optical Illusions and Theological Realities

Gloriously Cloudy

Cautions on Preaching Christ from the Old Testament

Psalm 2: The first (and last) world war

Psalm 1: The Great Divide

O My Son Absalom?

Deborahs or Jezebels

General Guidelines for OT exegesis

The Old Testament: Where to begin?

Fraser Valley Bible conference video

Is the Old Testament Still Relevant?

Psalm 77 Therapy

Is Moses in Heaven? How?

Roots

The Old Testament: A Dictionary Of Christian Vocabulary

The Best Bible Dictionary

Our Undercover Boss